10X Product Scribe
@PhilsNwachukwu
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I'm the good news from Nigeria. Ex. @JumiaNigeria , Ex-Product Lead @TheBulbAfrica , Co-organizer @ProductTankAbj 🚀🚀🚀
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@ogbeniseyi
"Non-negotiable offer"??
No opening sentence like "We are excited to...."
"You'll do A, B, C..."
I am not even a UI/UX Designer but I know damn well what my response would be to that horror of an offer.
Sad!
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@ETUKMMA
@YorubaBoyMedia
LMAO
Recall once my boss said he bought a shoe with my salary.
As if to add salt to injury, he said he didn't even budget for it. 😔
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@Vikkiehenry
@ETUKMMA
LOL.
Was at Zakaa Stores recently.
Me: *points at a perfume* "How much is this one?"
Salesgirl: "You want dollars or naira?"
Me: "You say..??"
😂😂
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@kunle_kenny
Lived in Lagos for 9 years then moved to Abuja.
Then in 2021, I visited Lagos on a work trip. Forget. Lagos is the absolute ghetto. The stench, piles of trash, infested gutters, etc.
Ever since then, whenever I visit Lagos and return to Abuja, I'll always fall sick.
ALWAYS!
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@Hauwa_L
Divorce and prosecute to the full extent of the law.
But why didn't the man insist on a medical test?
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Fintechs solving real problems.
Get paid via Payoneer.
Withdraw to my GBP account on
@greyfinance
Swap to Naira and withdraw to my NGN account on
@get_carbon
🥳🥳🥳
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Talent will move in the direction of great culture!
I remember my days building banking products... My then CTO asked me to help recruit 2 senior engineers to build our retail lending product.
The bank pretty much offered a blank cheque.
I approached engineers from
@paystack
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@ehimaggie
@Joepraise13
We rate Abike too much.
I think the Foreign Minister should be getting this smoke.
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@thehalimat
Hello Halimat, I don't know you but I just prayed for God's peace to pervade your life and your family.
The horror is over.
Now's time for double fold recovery.
Stay strong!
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@Hauwa_L
Dragggggggg her by her hair to court!!!
Divorce her.
Prosecute her.
She dares not walk among the sane.
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@diisa2002
(L-R)
Donald Duke
Tony Elumelu
Alh. Aliko
President Peter Obi
Femi Otedola
Aig-Imokhuede
Ommmooooo!!!
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@Morris_Monye
MM, please block all.
Mass block all ASAP.
Their strategy is not far from mass-reporting your account.
The vultures have been let loose.
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@General_Oluchi
@mayeesq
LMAO
My barely 2-year old daughter doesn't even ask for my permission. She simply dips her hand into my plate and takes it - meat oh, egg oh, fish oh, sausage oh....
Then she goes "I love you daddy."
Proper hoodlum behaviour. 😑
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@IAtalkspace
2020
I tried to poach 3 different Paystack engineers.
They all turned me down citing the fact that they are building amazing things and absolutely love it.
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@instablog9ja
@MCIvip
50% in 3 days?
Chineke nna!!
How did Nonso Diobi even allow himself to be the face of this obvious scam???
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@balamiisaac
To think Balami has a whole aviation company to run but he's sacrificing all that to do the sort of stuff he's doing!
Posterity will remember you kindly.
@balamiisaac
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@tosinolaseinde
@i_am_dayoB
Tosin, mention the school here nauu
I thought we are doing name & shame?
As a father to a sweet baby girl, this is 100% relatable and scary.
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@Tilly_Tetelo
What do you mean by "hijacked"?
Nigerians beat you with sticks and took the place?
Or Nigerians shot you dead and took over?
Have you considered that they PAID for the place?
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@JosephOnuorah
@Letter_to_Jack
Just shut up.
How's he a bigot for this?
You didn't see his criticism of Osasu?
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@OgbeniDipo
Imagine being 47 and scared that immigrant 20-somethings are taking away your jobs.
WAWU!
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@YarKafanchan
You are doing so well, Ndi.
Can't forget your sleep-deprived eyes back at Abuja airport.
But it'll soon be worth it.
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@fisayosoyombo
PO is not beyond rebuke. Anyone who says otherwise is being hypocritical.
He has a track record of being accountable....and listening to the masses.
On one hand, we want him to win this election.
On the other hand, we NEED to hold him accountable to the things that matter.
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@vicky_bitok
@justmide_
Why do y'all think this person's seriously asking for your opinion?
This is all for the engagement nauu.
Ahhh!!
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@IAtalkspace
It didn't matter that I asked them to name their price. LOL
One offered to consult. Me wey dey find Engineering Manager.
Hot tears.
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@peter_pentane
Dr Bisi Olawuyi (Dr B. as we fondly called him) has changed so much. Kai!
He singlehandedly spotted me and brought me on board the UI Debate Team.
I'd eventually rise to become Deputy Chief Speaker.
Good ol' days!
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@anitaihekweme
@OtigbaElla
Everywhere I've led teams, whenever a new person joins, I have a phased team integration process that lasts 1 month.
- Week 1: buddy with other key teams + learn the coy's core processes
- Week 2: bury yourself in our documentation
...
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@chemicalbrodar
@tundealuko
I can relate.
One time (farrrr back) I was traveling to the East in a Sienna at night and somewhere around Ore, the driver whispered to me that he was feeling terribly sleepy and begged me to take over.
I drove until we got to Auchi, just before hitting Delta.
This was 2 AM.
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@anitaihekweme
@OtigbaElla
Week 3: more documentation +team buddying
Week 4 - 6: start executing simple assigned tasks....make as many mistakes
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@UnkleAyo
That 4-month claim was just the sledge hammer on the casket for me.
Boy! They lied.
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@Bonisile_RMS
🤣
Please discharge our client ASAP!
She's only practicing what (I'm sure) she observed from her punisher. 😁
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@pixelDahn
@DoctorEmto
I fear for my own younger brother.
Pulled him from Owerri to learn software engineering in Lagos.
No run-in with the police...yet. But I'm afraid still.
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@didisfoot
Y'all gon' behave like you didn't hear him call someone "Sister Saccharina"??
As in saccharine in bread?? 😂
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@YarKafanchan
Same Wuse Zone 3 mosque that's situated behind my sister's office.
Around the time of the
#EndSARS
protests, she went into her office's restroom and looked out the window (overlooking a portion of the mosque's premises) only to see them distributing daggers from a sack...
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@fisayosoyombo
This is not enough reason to tag
@PeterObi
as 'One of Them'.....
For we his supporters, a more productive approach would be to petition him and get his stance on this.
It is a hot-burner issue and a personal one for me.
Will I cancel him? NOPE
cc:
@YarKafanchan
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@KatorTarkaa
Jeeeezzzzzz!!!!!!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Boy!! that man wanted the ground to open and swallow him up.
@DavidHundeyin
cut liver for us abeg
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and
@theflutterwave
.
These guys flat-out told me they won't leave and their reasons were similar across both organisations - they are treated well and they're building amazing things.
I was weak.
I have since become a vocal admirer of these 2 coys.
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@ladizalocaa
I actually do this and I'm in Nigeria.
Daughter's school closes at 2PM. Everybody at work knows to not schedule anything on my calendar between 2 - 2.30 PM coz I won't show.
I think it's down to your boss & company culture.
Oh...my wife is a baller please. 😁
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Just how do you draw with razor blade? WOW
Hello
#drawingwhileblack
!
I'm Alex Peter Idoko, I'm a Nigerian pyrography artist. These are my artworks drawn with Razorblade on wood.
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@alexlobaloba
Great friend you are, Alex.
You actively stood up for his sanity, in addition to your wisdom of not discussing the matter at the time.
Top stuff!
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@madebycharles
LMAO
Proper setup.
I learnt very very early to ask "How much?" before I take any service.
E dey save. Walahi
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@ellieelouisee_x
@MaziEzenna
Regardless of all these, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DRINK ONLY TO COME BACK TO IT.
And if you SUSPECT your drink may be spiked, just get another one. No need to be double sure.
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@Tellemmmmm
Mine will always ask after every slightest reprimand: "Daddy, are you mad at me?"
Then she'll go to my wife to say, "Mummy, Daddy is mad at me' ....in between sobs.
LOL
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@asemota
Started doing some projects with some PwC folks and I'm surprised at how much I don't know about making business cases and presenting problems/solutions.
Miles apart!
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@Carnage4Life
I have paid though. YouTube bugged me for months until I acquiesced and subscribed to Premium.
😑
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@chymaker
@AfamDeluxo
LMAO
The socks Google Maps sent to me, those guys cornered it.
Common socks ooo 🤮🤮
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@Abd_Qaadir
@OsasDapheel
@JajaPhD
Lateef, I'll be right to assume this is obtuse thinking.
Someone had about 8 publications that are term papers & conference presentations than actual research and he was made a whole ass minister???!!!
For context, compare with Omobola Johnson.
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@kikimordi
Kiki, explain exactly how he misappropriated funds.
Explain like I'm five, please.
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2010. Freshly admitted into UI.
I promise my mum to find and date only a Yoruba girl in university. Both ladies I found point-blank told me "My mum told me never to bring an 'Omo Ibo' home".
I stayed a eunuch till final year. Tribalism is now taught by parents to kids. Shame. 😧
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@YarKafanchan
...to themselves.
My sister alerted their Head of HR and they had to close work for that day. It was just past 1pm!
She came back home and told me. I had to advise her to not go to work for a while.
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@kosiasuzu
@imoteda
@Deenike
"All restaurants have WiFi"
This assumption (and similar others) will teach you a very painful and expensive lesson when building for Nigerians in Nigeria.
LMAO
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@NasiruSharada
@bulamabukarti
Ya Allah??? And not call out
@MBuhari
for his brazen failure to fulfil his campaign promises of securing lives??
🤡🤡🤡
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@OmideyiOlaide
@temisrael007
I don't get the burglars part.....azzin he went and pointed them out from the street or.....???
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@OsasDapheel
@JajaPhD
This!!!!!!
On what grounds was he made a whole minister of digital economy????
Any research works?
Any newspaper tech column?
Any books on tech??
What rubbish did we get ourselves into?
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@ludde0002
@XtineMilrod
This is rather interesting.
Nigerians would prepare extra toiletries - towel, sheets (and pillow cases), toothbrush & toothpaste, tissue, etc. for a guest staying the night.
And this is because we see our guest as people who should be treated right.
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@LEXESGRILL_
@Postsubman
How's this an issue?
The lady's name wasn't mentioned.
Do you even know where the guy works at?
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@tohceen
Hei gawd!
How? Why?
What did he do with it? Bought a house? A car? Land? Investment that can be liquidated?
What exactly?! 😑
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@pxm__
@kikimordi
As soon as I see the bathroom has a bathtub instead of a cubicle, issolova.
Can't deal. 🤦
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@GonzaIezRM
@pedrolopezRMCF
@HasbullaHive
It's the slapping of the palms for me.
Man's definitely pushing 30+
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@MISSTEEcal
@D_twisted_Nerd
Same government that decongested Apapa of ALL tankers and trailers overnight!!!!
#EndSARS
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@FS_Yusuf_
@DavidHundeyin
And he digs up the whooollleee dirt! Brother arms himself well!
Proud we've got him.
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@asemota
This is our new reality.
Growing up, our neighbors would literally give us the key to their apartment and ask us to help look after their home in their absence. And vice versa.
I just moved apartments earlier in the year and I don't even know who my neighbors are.
Sad.
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@BWLawal
Bola, who did you vote for?
Who did you actively and passively support at the elections?
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@Ssaasquatch
Great for strategy, product, and related roles.
I'd mix logical reasoning with technical expertise for roles in engineering, accounting, etc.
Nothing more amazing than listening to someone explaining their 'why' and 'how' - it's legit the gateway to a beautiful mind.
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@afalli
Yanni helped me through a lot of not-so-great phases of my life.
Wherever the Acropolis is mentioned, I immediately think of Yanni.
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@AyoBankole
@CaptainArinze
True.
Personally though, the headache of being a Nigerian CEO is just crazy.
You'll be dealing with plenty plenty issues only possible in Nigeria.
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@FS_Yusuf_
Me too. Couldn't even criticize him in my thoughts. Somehow, I knew he knew what he was talking about. Zero conspiracy theories. Zero.
Brother was right!!
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@YarKafanchan
I cannot but imagine!
Anything we can do to help, please SHOUT.
We dey for you.
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@UjuAnya
@_omalicha__
Kai!
Me?? I'll legally & traditionally disown you and ensure you stay in prison for at least 5 years.
As a father, God knows you won't mess with my investments in your life and go scot-free.
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