Dan⚡️Nouement
@nomanautomata
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Eventual consistency
@nomanautomata.dneu.baby
Joined January 2012
They need to create a job that's 4 hours of programming in the morning and 4 hours of mindlessly loading boxes onto a truck in the afternoon.
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@hello__caitlin Paying $12 and breaking down in fake tears over your own generosity on social media is a fitting tribute to anyone's life.
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Every "former gifted kid" in their 20s needs to be sat down and told that *potential* is for children. It's fascinating watching a kid show talent and thinking about what they could become. An adult though? Do it or don't: no one cares what you think you're capable of.
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@shaggysurvives hihagtoodlnbtbhwyinftrciwytbolot -> Hey, I had a great time on our date last night but to be honest with you I'm not feeling the romantic chemistry. I wish you the best of luck out there!.
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It's alarming how many people think endless meaningless consumption is going to make them happy.
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Credit Karma offers you a huge, unsolicited loan at high interest in case you feel like ruining your life
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@noampomsky You hear drug addicts switching to running too. Some people need the intensity of experience.
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Gf: How are you feeling?.Bf: I dunno.Gf: Tell me a story about how a man like you might be feeling. Make sure to include plenty of detail about….
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@BowTiedYukon @kingsepp Look, it's a normal, well adjusted guy. I bet he has a wife and kids! Wow!.
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The scariest thing about dating an intelligent woman isn't that she'll compete with you, but that's she'll see you.
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You're learning the math I learned at 14 years old, I'm learning the social skills you learned at 14 years old, we are NOT the same
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@anonynaut I wonder if they told themselves they were going to have a few drinks before happy hour and then just kept going.
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@violinbee01 I like to think I'm funny and engaging enough to distract therapists from doing their real job.
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@GGerrat @LilMoonLambo Slow down and be safe. Your body is not equipped to handle that much extreme nacho flavor.
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@hello__caitlin Thinking about it more deeply, the woman is obviously a genius for being able to pack so much cringe into 42 seconds of video. Truly an artist of the digital age.
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@GoodReddit Teenagers used to have to get this advice from the guy buying them booze in high school. Now they can get it online!.
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@bryancsk Don't overthink it, go with a classic. "I think your MOM is the most beautiful woman ever.".
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@ih82tweetdood I was fascinated by the "off the grid influencer" lifestyle until I realized they were spending more money to look poor than most people spend to look rich. Real frugality is actually pretty frumpy most of the time.
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@RudyJUULianiV2 This is much nicer than the alternative of never getting a response from them again.
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@jerrrrrrryyyyy @yhdistyminen Speech and debate class is excellent training for a Twitter career.
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@j_n_foster There are two types of people out there: those who film for internet sneering and those who cross the street to help.
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You'd think so, but many would kill for this salary.
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@shoe0nhead Allll of these kids would be afraid to make more than one second of sustained eye contact.
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@proetrie We're all just housecats who want to know where the laser pointer has gone when we can no longer see it.
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@Davieboberto @BabelHodl Have you ever once had someone tell you to stop eating meat around them?.
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@lindypatagonia You will learn to be vaguely dissatisfied with a lifestyle almost every single one of your ancestors would consider unbelievably extravagant.
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@anpaure This is actually a great idea and as a dev I'd love this. Engineers should have direct hands on experience with their domain instead of hearing about it third hand and trying to guess what it's like.
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@nieltown @haramcart "In our commune, we grow all our food and do all of our labor. Except for Jeremy, who uses our resources and is on the internet all day. We have a special respect for his contributions.".
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@danghentschel Wow, yeah, it must be tough having religious beliefs that not everyone agrees with.
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What if we're having a mental health crisis not because life is too hard, but because it's too easy?.
i know this makes the rounds about mental health every so often. but it should also be remarked what an incandescent whitepill this is about humanity
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@kathrynfiona @GQMagazine > Winkie agrees. “I don't think men have the same ‘treat culture’ that women do, which is frankly a shame”. We do, and our treat is being left alone for several hours.
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@thomas_violence They should release one passenger into the wild to bear the sins of the flight.
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You aren't a full-fledged grown up until you understand there are states of mind you haven't experienced yet, which are categorically different than ones you have.
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"If everyone chooses red, no one dies". "What about the people who inevitably choose blue?"
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@Philosophymeme0 No, you don't understand the meme format, the over intellectualized rationalization is supposed to go in the middle.
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@musicstruggles1 It's heartwarming to watch younger generations go through the various stages of being annoying about music like we did.
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Fellas, is it a crime when you build housing for people who aren't rich?.
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@EdmundSmirk Men protect their female friends the same way, but strangely I haven't seen a meme about it.
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@MattGertz Hi Mr. Gertz, I'm a software engineer working in tech. Do you want me to write you a bot that looks for negative keywords and your handle, and then replies "You tagged Matthew Gertz, a journalist. Did you mean to tag politician Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) instead?".
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@AJsayshey @cal_gif “Haha, that’s funny,” I saw as I approach my front door, which I find is locked, and the lock is stuck. Suddenly, from another room, I hear a familiar melody.
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@TechEmails Do you like spending time with me or do you just want to purchase my company for $19 billion??.
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I once replied to a random reddit comment with "someone should start a relationship advice sub". Someone replied "Done! I've created /r/relationship_advice.". I'm so sorry, everyone.
What's something in the world you know you're directly responsible for but if you were to claim credit you'd sound crazy?.
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@chinesegon Google Maps tells me to "turn right" like I'm supposed to know how to drive a car or something (?).
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@Ilana_Stern @fart @elonmusk @DaveChapelle @chrisrock It’s stunning how fast he’s losing his own popularity. He’s even making libertarians who love technology mad.
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Dating in your 30s is going on a good first date on February 10th and both parties tacitly agreeing to not bring up the 14th.
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@newplasticbags @thechosenberg >You're gonna get kicked out for it. That's a feature, not a bug.
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Living for a month like a rapper would make it all worth it though.
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@ronaarahahaipls One day, it occured to me:. One day, I was going to die!. Overwhelmed with the prospect of my mortality, I knew a change was in order. So I've created this new guide:. "How to leverage fear of oblivion into business success".
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Wait a minute, has self-expression through art been prompt engineering this whole time?.
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@arscrypta @whoreby_parker I'd be hard pressed to find a guy that looks more poly than the guy on the left.
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@AmySwearer Reading about all these fatal shootings is making me feel much better about our gun problem, thanks.
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When I find myself in times of trouble.Tinnitus it comes to me.Speaking words of wisdom,."Eeeeeeeeeeee".
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If this is an uncomfortable realization for you, take what you're feeling and do something with it. You may be right -- you COULD be great at something. It's just that no one cares what you think until you can prove you can follow through long term.
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@1thousandfaces_ Had to finally accept that I wasn't put on this earth to make a great creative or intellectual achievement. It was hard to get used to (and it's still hard not being the sharpest guy in the room by default) but letting go of all of it is ultimately for the better.
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@BrandyLJensen My process was:. 1) Wow, running sucks but I always feel better afterwards.2) Wow, running sucks but I always feel better afterwards.3) . 4) Wow, I want to go for a run.
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@jessejanderson My wife doesn't understand why I get very stressed out when she tells me to do things "later," or why I sometimes have to get them up and do them immediately. Either I have to expend tons of energy keeping them in my brain, or I'll let them slide completely. No win situation.
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Another whitepill is that life isn't about "reaching your potential," but in the act of heading in the right direction. You can start doing that today.
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GIRL ON DATE: Wow, you seem to know a lot about the geography of Taiwan, have you ever been there?. DAN: Oh, haha, no. DAN'S BRAIN (now yelling): And did you know China built a mock-up of the Taiwanese Presidential Office Building to run military drills on, they specifically.
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@chinesegon "I have zero desire for riches. I only want this warehouse shift job and tenement apartment.". "I have zero desire for riches. I'm happy with my subsistence agriculture work.".
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@Madyank2 @Davieboberto @BabelHodl No, I’m asking about you personally. I can find articles about people being murdered but that doesn’t mean it’s not safe for me to leave my house.
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@lanuitamericain On one hand: too busy for a boyfriend.On the other: surrounded by eligible men.
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Taking it one step further: art is a form of prompt engineering that gets at the core of human experience because it circumvents barriers to expression and introspection. Thank you caffeine and Twitter, this has been fun.
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In big tech you'll see someone swaggering around with obvious celebrity status, and a coworker will tell you, "That's the guy who invented the protocol to allow the Happy Birthday Service to communicate with Galactus.".
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@GayBearRes This is honestly how I feel about restaurant prices, entitlement aside. I still think $16 is what you spend on a fancy meal, not a sandwich, and I can't adjust my brain.
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Hop in boys we're creating a new tech religion:. - Eat clean.- Work hard.- Be nice to each other.- Meditate.- No sex outside of relationships. Any resemblance to Christianity is purely by accident.
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There should be an even cheaper tier of Uber: . 1) the car is very messy. 2) your driver plays 90s punk too loud. 3) he has to go run an "errand" inside a shady apartment that involves some kind of argument with his ex/drugs. 4) he tells you about his ex and asks for advice.
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