lazy river
@newplasticbags
Followers
652
Following
5,051
Media
4,836
Statuses
44,279
unaffiliated; private institution, an impartial observer, chillin' in the cut. referential retweets, sometimes NSFW
Joined April 2012
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@thechosenberg
Just press charges. You're gonna get kicked out for it but good luck staying there anyway. 11k is nothing to sneeze at, they stole it, its a theft like any other. Once you get your money back cut em loose for a while, good luck
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@megantheevalium
It's amazing what you share under trust with your significant other that can be thrown into your face when they're mad...
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@ironfists2003
BRO
HOW ARE YOU GONNA CUT OUT WHEN HE THROWS THE THAT THING AND TURNS THOSE DUDES INTO SKELTONS
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@64bitvio
>get lobotomy
>take glasses off
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I GO BLIND, I DON'T NEED TO SEE THE PRICE TAG ANYWAYS
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@2Aupdates
"I'm not sure what scared me more — the power of that weapon or the fact that I could have taken one home that day. "
I'm always baffled as to how these people can't seem to trust themselves.
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@WideDogArt
The lower claas every man, works with his hands, shabby old clothes has decided to speak up, surprising those in his community. He is humble, but wise and honest.
This lady is dressed nicely, in clean clothes. Her appearance is pristine. Her eyes are narrowed as if shes offended
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@bobbyteriyaki
Yeah, paying off tuition with a summer job, driving a new car you bought with money from the previous summer job and then buying a house with a couple years salary from the job you got walking into a business and shaking the boss's hand must've been pretty cool...
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@chamber474
@MustelidFan69
No
If I owe Domino's 40 dollars, that's my problem.
If I owe Domino's 40 Million dollars, that's Domino's problem...
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@thechosenberg
I think its funny that its "marriage fraud" to marry someone legally, but you don't "love" each other. Silly.
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@rohmerfan1127
Imagining some mobsters dumping bodies at the secret baseball mud deposit (the secret ingredient)
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@whitesoxfan2006
He's really out here disrespecting one of Nature's most perfect creatures smh
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@surialaw
Email job this email job that what the fuck are the titles so I can find and apply for them???
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@xooset
Went to a casino where a 'loyalty card' could be plugged in. An old lady had one plugged in on a lanyard, giving the illusion that she was tied to the machine.
Creepy stuff, casinos have a bad vibe.
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@okimstillhungry
Very bold to associate your marriage with dozens of petty grievances from all your loved ones. No booze too? Must've been a wild time, like an office pizza party.
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@ReviewsPossum
@hostiledesign
Ok I was just looking for cheap stools/mini camp chairs to keep in my trunk and a ton of these came up. I'd never seen 'em before, do you have one? How do you like it?
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@_SatanWatch
2016 showed me magic is real and it appears when a group focuses their attention. Their energy influences space, time and reality. The internet connects consciousness, focuses thought and eventually materializes reality.
Magic is not simply wizards and potions, its far stranger.
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@autoadmitdotcom
Tremendous fall off.
I sympathize (I love chillin with my bros and hate office work)
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@zillowgonewild
I'm sorry, I could not have little man looking at me on the toilet I do not need company
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@Hamsterpilled_
Learning that men are actually the thoughtful, romantic gender and women were the horny, instinctive gender shattered a lot of social programming I received from childhood onwards
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@jaketropolis
*KISHK*
"Uh Bravo-2-3, what is your status, over"
*KISHK*
*KISHK*
"...I-ummm..."
*KISHK*
*KISHK*
"STATUS REPORT, BRAVO-2-3!"
*KISHK*
*KISHK*
"...im fine...
*KISHK*
*KISHK*
"SAY AGAIN BRAVO-2-3, OVER
*KISHK*
*KISHK*
"OH MY GOD. STOP. JUST-...I'M DONE."
*KISHK*
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@AP
I'm thinking if the trench was there long enough, and with no signage, than the city is still at fault.
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@OrwellNGoode
I got the house, the kids, the friends and even his dog, but how do I steal *everything* in the divorce?
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@breakingbaht
@BadWeaponTakes
An "untrained" man actually took out a shooter with an ar-15.
The "zero training" is angle is BS, it implies the person never even held a gun, but they're probably implying a police officer is "trained" and a guy who goes to the range even occasionally is "untrained"
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@jErk
Just bro behavior, nothing weird about butterflies in your stomach or longing for the unending embrace of your male friend. Its normal, all men do it. I'm surprised he hasn't heard of it. He should bring it up at the lunch table and ask how often his other friends snuggle
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@SocialNomadRach
Two guys should've just stood up and continued talking while slowly walking off set
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@visakanv
Kid has an advanced understanding of dynamic of governance and monopoly of violence
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@thealtoking
@thechosenberg
Marriage is funny to me in general. Only time I can think of when a state recognized contract has to be for an ulterior motive (love, religion etc) and not the explicit benefits of the contract (tax breaks, etc)
A legal marriage being "fraudulent" just seems funny
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@BigDirtyFry
@alexkrokus
April Fool's is a day where brands tease their customers with interesting ideas they'll never make and the unfunniest people you know try to be funny to the displeasure of everyone around them
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@WB_Baskerville
I'm gonna need you to solve the next 25 years of geopolitical strife, and if you could get that done by Monday, that would be grrrreat
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@phantomnald
Sametime To Catch a Predator was on and Michael Jackson was in the news for the allegations. Pedos were the butt of many jokes. Strange to try to explain to people who weren't there
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@zanyfen
When my physics teacher in high school explained that just about all of our power involves making water turn a wheel I was kinda surprised
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@credenzaclear2
Meh.
What women think is sexy men usually think is corny. What men think is sexy women usually think is disgusting.
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@AnimeSerbia
@BigFatWitchHat
These kids are probably about 25 by now, and they've only become more dangerous since this picture was taken!
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@i_zzzzzz
I have seen the public and I do not trust them with a panini press or espresso machine.
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@Gee2TheAitch
Fraudulent because the Japanese expectations of social practices borders on actual law lmao props to him tho
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@SSgtKotyk
He is absolutely correct and that is why this is the most elite defensive shooting stance.
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@GoodReddit
He's tightening his core and kegles rhythmically is my guess. Ive heard girls have had similar experiences doing hanging leg raises
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@PinkRubberHippo
"You remember that picture of the A.I. Sexy Jesus in Bed photo? The one you liked on facebook? I know it promised you'd never regret liking it. Well, I've got some bad news."
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@AnimeSerbia
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE KILLER DOLLS? KILLER DOLLS, YES, YES, THEY WILL KILL, YES.
SOMETHING HAS GOT TO BE DONE ABOUT THESE DOLLS, THEY ARE DOING THINGS, DANGEROUS, TERRIBLE THINGS. ALL BECAUSE SOMEONE PUT MUNITIONS CHIPS IN THEM, SOME OF THE BEST COMPUTER PARTS, AMERICAN. SAD!
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@Valen10Francois
"Meh, a stripmall, parking lot, and thousands of high density housing units would improve this a lot."
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