Dan
@dankgdl
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Jnco Maven. Phd, Houthi Institute of Strategic Studies, Georgetown. Natsec Correspondent, Good 'Uns Magazine. Armenian and Pennsylvanian as all hell..
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Joined March 2010
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Pinned Tweet
when you piss off the hanseatic league and can't secure baltic passage for your goods <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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Once before class my friend said to me "time to clean house" and walked into the class his brother was in and just kicked him in the nuts
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My buddy works at a dump and finds the coolest stuff that people drop off
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@YosephHaddad
Israelis hate Palestinians so much they follow them to the countries they fled to so they can harass them there?
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my boy who I witnessed beer bong a quart of eggnog 25 years ago just posted “Oooh yeah bitches, it's egg nog season!!!” so I guess he still likes it
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ugh...just realized that stalin moving into berlin caused hitler to self-harm
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The best, most relatable song lyric is Sam Cooke singing "don't know much about science book"
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Kanye shows up at VMAs in full Nazi regalia. People are crying at his brilliance. A Pitchfork writer has to be revived with a defibrillator
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The main reason for American decline has been that people stopped doing the short sleeve band t shirt over a long sleeve shirt with a beanie indoors look
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@MarkFooterman
Probably should delete your tweets where you tattle to peoples employers for their personal opinions before taking a stand on this one
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Every alternative rock song from the 90s had one those wind-up monkey banging cymbals toys in the music video to show how it wasn't like regular rock
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Tide pods? Done. Juuls? Tired. No lackin challenge? Boring. The latest teen fad is kerning - kids are shocking police and church elders by “adjusting the spacing between characters in a proportional font, usually to achieve a visually pleasing result!”
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@notaxation
@IDF
There’s something hilariously ironic about a guy with a “don’t tread on me” avatar cheering on an oppressive government murdering people
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Just remembered a story about a guy I know who got in a DUI wreck, an Amish showed up to help because the guy crashed into his field and he tried fighting him but the Amish knocked him out instantly. How big of an asshole do you have to be to get knocked out by a pacifist
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Armenians in LA drive black BMWs and Iranians in LA drive white BMWs and theyre constantly trying to sabotage each other’s cell phone accessory kiosks like spy vs spy
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I love to be a 1950s guy and listen to songs called like "angel darling" in my giant car
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I’m here to do two things: sit on the beach, and use a maritime tracking app to identify passing container shops
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@RobertFears1
@jmculling
@kerpen
Wanting the military pressed into service to get you your chicken wings reads like a parody of obese moron Americans
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Laughing about a guy who incorrectly describes everything as a “zero sum game” without knowing what it means at all
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@Holbornlolz
Boring, all you do at expensive British high schools is memorize useless stuff and jack off other dudes. I know a bunch of 2pac lyrics from memory which is cooler and I never had to jack off any dudes
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@feliciasonmez
If you think that’s bad, you should see what they did during the run up to the Iraq war
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Everyone knew a guy who claimed to have a black belt in karate and told people he wasn’t allowed to get in a fight because his fists were classified as deadly weapons
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"While I may seem to be a prisoner in this embassy, I have entire worlds to build and explore in Minecraft."
http://t.co/TYzcoA8tAe
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Life hack: refer to any and all music that’s made with electronics as techno
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@lloydblankfein
The only people that these comebacks are appealing to are listed on the Epstein flight logs
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@Bakari_Sellers
Joe Rogan was hosting The Man Show in the early 2000s, I can’t recall what Powell was doing during that time
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Most cops in England don't even HAVE guns, and they have to deal with guys like the Willy Todger Blokes, The Lorry Crew, Right Big Phil
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@lodgepolepines
Lol I feel kinda bad at how harsh it was, I was just so shocked someone would not instinctually know you’re supposed to lie
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@notaxation
@IDF
Something even funnier I noticed: your username is “no taxation” but they’re doing it with your tax dollars 😂🤣
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Every time a cop is hospitalized for “touching fentanyl” or whatever, what actually happened is he got curious and tried doing a line and the other cops are covering for him
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tfw when you forget to turn off the cartoon network before swearing allegiance to ISIS
http://t.co/OvmYrMOnNR
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@AlishaGrauso
The marketing and toy division of a global media conglomerate is basically the modern equivalent of the west African griots
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@stl_catholic
@stltoday
If covid does harm any kids, you can always move it to a different parish
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@RobDownenChron
It’s so funny to me that evangelicals have to see this crack head and grit their teeth and pretend he’s on the level
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A police truck just drove by my house blaring the Ghanaian funeral music
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RT
@Toyota
It's
#ToyotaThon
again! Get a great deal and low APR financing at your local Toyota dealer!
http://t.co/GS5JIyXpZC
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@Patricipacion
Watching an isis video: wow, this guy seems to genuinely regret being an infidel
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B uckcherry
E vanescence
N ickelback
G odsmack
H inder
A lien Ant Farm
Z ombie, Rob
I ncubus
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My girlfriend calls her kids Switch a “Nintendito” because it’s smaller than a regular Nintendo and I think that’s beautiful 🙂
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@BuckSexton
@JordanUhl
Lol dang dude, so you typed up reports narrating the torture of afghan farmer
#57453
, youre basically John cena in hit film “the marine”
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@Trillburne
@benshapiro
@afneil
It’s not surprising that someone from the “alternative right” like Shapiro would find a mainstream conservative distasteful
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Back in the 70s people had normal nicknames like “Beep” and “Hoop,” now they’re called “cyber lord 3” and “guy acting normally”
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Some old lady posted this in a group I’m in on Facebook and I’m losing it at the Halloween font
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@DenseHomo
In Ireland and the UK like 3 gangs have to share the same gun and check it out like at the library
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@ArkansasFred
One time my dog was excitedly chewing on something and when I pried it out of his mouth it was just a straight up hunk of glass
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@jack64245959
@Rob516751895303
@BigM33sh
@Israel
Why do you trust the idf to bomb a hospital for the right reason but not to fuck your ass?
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British college students love to call themselves some shit like the “the old invincibles” even though all they did was drink one can of warm beer apiece and invent a new way to look at a statue
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Laughing at the idea of a futuristic, cyberpunk Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
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Folks, some shocking allegations coming across my facebook newsfeed
http://t.co/66ycNvDyqE
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Every single song from Europe is a girl singing about "the rhythm" and then there's a reggae guy rapping the third verse
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@Elad_Si
@Eretz_Nehederet
Man, every Israeli comedy clip I’ve seen seems like it’s really trying to eliminate the notion of Jewish people as great humorists
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@EverythingChie1
@Shermanator_42
@NFL
Don’t get medical advice from a guy whose job is ramming his skull into stuff over and over
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@SethDillon
a guy who runs a satire blog completely freaking out about any satire at his expense is one of the funniest bits I’ve ever seen, you should be proud
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