Secret Squirrel
@Secret_Squidgle
Followers
556
Following
987
Media
1,096
Statuses
16,153
Cyclist, driver, SFF reader and Data-bloke (He/Him). When I tweet into the void how come the void doesnt tweet back?
Berkshire
Joined September 2021
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@fesshole
Bravest Fess ever. Well done you. Thank you - you may have saved both your relative and a potential victim of theirs from harm or worse.
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Wordle 265 X/6*
Royally beaten by
#wordle265
☹️
My streak cruelly snatched away!
⬛🟨⬛🟨⬛
🟨⬛🟨⬛⬛
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
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@Luce_j83
@SketchLisa
Some evidence backing up your outright lies and mistruths would be nice though that will be the day.
What kind of loser is triggered by someone else wearing a mask?😷
How pathetic your life must be.
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@fesshole
Bio-kids sounds like something you find in aisle 12 of the supermarket next to the cleaning products.
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@fesshole
We know a song about this - dont we children?
All my knees are brown
And my thighs were sprayed
She went for a shart
So I decided to stay
Now we both are married
Love, honour and obey
California streaming
We'll never beat that daaayy.
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@scousepie
As someone who’s worked in Hospitality tech - this is 💯 bullshit.
You can’t oversell room inventory unless you deliberately create excess inventory the first place.
In either event this is malice not “a mistake” or a “technical error”.
Cut the crap
@MaldronHotels
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@KatieMorley_
@Stuart_Wilson19
@Telegraph
And yet you felt the need to quote the highest paid salary band for train drivers vs the lowest for nurses.
Do you get paid a bonus for stoking faux outrage?
Did you ever have any journalistic principles?
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@fesshole
He waited until after you left looked down and said “Who’s a good boy then? Oh yes you are you’re a gooood boy”
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@fesshole
So you squeezed a turd out so that it smeared across the loo lid like an explosion in a toothpaste factory and didn’t notice? Never mind what happened to the loo paper.
Yea right……
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@alisonwrightpr
@rgauntlett1
My wife knew Ruth well and both my kids finished at CPS in the last 2 years.
Yet Ruth and the whole School got condemned by a perverse scheme that judges risks the equal to issues and considers dancing (flossing) sexualised behaviours.
This must never happen again.
#ripruthperry
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Introducing my new PunishmentCam.
The first combined safety camera and radar speed device that comes with a calibration certificate.
The driver in the pic will be getting a speeding fine & points for consistently exceeding a 20mph speed limit.
We’re coming for you drivists.
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@fesshole
Was she working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when you met her? Asking for the Human League.
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@Cyclingnewsfeed
Can’t get the UCI to do anything about rider safety but man don’t they swing into action if you don’t toe the line on clothing. Are the wrong coloured shorts this year’s sock heights?
And why didn’t giant TT helmets get this level of immediate concern? 🤔
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@Jean_deValette
@implausibleblog
So what you’re saying is…. Project Fear was right?
Please explain why appeasing a few racists is worth trashing the incomes and prospects of every normal person in the UK?
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@fesshole
Speak to her and report back.
If Fesshole isn’t the place to provide daily updates on the disintegration of your marriage I don’t know where is.
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@fesshole
“Railing?” Maybe your life would be more fulfilling if you didn’t think of people as objects?
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@fesshole
Ah yes. The perfect crime. He will never guess where that massive pile of grass cuttings butting up against his and your Grandpa’s boundary fence will have come from.
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@BarristerSecret
@Bren4Bassetlaw
Brendan neatly avoids pointing out that this is currently Govt policy to abolish the Death penalty worldwide and that Kiers work was supported and enabled by the Foreign Office.
I wonder why!
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@BirdSeedBigot
@DrRanj
Since you can’t make up your mind whether he is a GP or a Luvvie maybe you’re the pathetic one getting your kicks abusing ppl on Twitter?
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@CyclingInASkirt
Dangerous driving but he’ll only be charged with Careless and probably won’t even lose his license.
Should be instant permanent ban for using a car as a weapon.
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This is Steve
@telesyros
Steve was so keen to have a dig at cycling that when he picked his strawman picture of an empty cycle lane that he missed the fact the road was empty and his thus his disingenuous “argument” is valid for both.
Don’t be a Stevie-CANT
Be a Stevie-CAN.
£282k to build that cycle lane and guess what, unused. Whats the point of them if no one uses them. Just like Enfield. £43m for cycle lane and used by about 10 riders if that, daily
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@AndyGJBurge
Unfortunately that attitude for a minority of men was only displayed in public and their private behaviour was the exact opposite.
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@EchtoGammut
@tulpapilled
Why is this even a DevOps engineers problem?
Desktop support engineers job.
Only becomes Dev Ops problem if there is a way to automate it.
Which AFAIK there isn’t.
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@simonharris_mbd
How does he know there are presents under the trees?
Is he having a nose around whilst the tenants are out or “dropping in when just passing”
Sounds like an iffy Landlord to me.
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@BlokeOnWheels
@Ladycorvia
Have you noticed it’s only the rich and the powerful that believe the mark of a society is not how well it looks after the poor sick and vulnerable but how “low tax and low regulation” it is?
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@fesshole
But she does it to every doorbell on our street. You should see the footage I have of her...
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@AlanMyles8
@cybergibbons
@PoliceScotland
@roadcc
Worth a piece on this? Perhaps some press attention may help the situation?
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@SocialistNHS
Nope. The Labour Party voted against an unplanned and unsubstantiated publicity stunt by the SNP.
Take your gripes up with them. 14 years of Tory austerity have created countrywide Health, Education and Financial poverty. Why is this particular issue greater than all the rest?
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@implausibleblog
tbh I'd prefer he excercised his billionaire tendencies and bought the Daily Heil or Torygraph etc and turned it Lefty and Woke. Address the problem at the source.
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@fesshole
Just a thought but maybe you could have guided her and told her how you liked it? 🤦♂️
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@KatieMorley_
@Jontafkasi
@Telegraph
You seem to be doing ok at it. How much research did you do to check this "anonymous persons" pay?
How much of it was ghost written or edited by Telegraph staff?
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@ask_aubry
A bit harsh.
No-one can know how they would react in this situation until it happens to them.
You can’t moan about over-masculinity and then moan about the opposite.🙄
She should at least talk to him about it.
I await the flood of posts from people tell me what they would 💯do.🙄
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You know that Urban Myth that if you smell burning toast you’re having a heart attack?
Was out for a ride and suddenly smelt burning toast.
Was slightly relieved to ride past this sign.
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@fesshole
Your not going to finish the novel particularly quickly if you’re only writing for 30 seconds a day.
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@nununoolio
@markandcharlie
@AndyCoxDCS
@MikeyCycling
If it puts you in fear of assault - it is assault. I’d report it twice once on the dashcam portal and once on the other crimes portal.
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@Aston_M_Taylor
@twofucksgiven
@NicKeaney
Did you even read the background to this story?
Your post isn’t going to age well.
Consent is about more than just an age, it’s about informed, un-coerced consent.
Nothing suggests this was a relationship of consenting adults.
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@DrProudman
@metpoliceuk
Motive is the grammatically correct word in this context and infact any crime.
It’s got nothing to do with whether it’s acceptable or not.
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@SvansSports
@cycloben2
Are you drunk? The Brit holds below or on line at all times the dutch swerves down into him and back up.
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@fesshole
A woman wrote this fess. A man would know that most other men have eaten the equivalent of a 5 course meal on the bog before they are old enough to leave home.
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Had to say goodbye to my Merry dog today.
14 years of love and stubbornness.
In bits. 💔
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@hibiscuits1
@YouGov
@cyclingweekly
@WeAreCyclingUK
@London_Cycling
Perhaps they should be more worried about making Motorists comply with the existing speed limits?
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@LKTranslator
It’s not a good look for the Crown. You spend £2.4m doing up the house Granny gave you only for your Dad to take it away and give it your Uncle who’s been alleged to be a paedophile and doesn’t want it anyway. What a proper Charlie. Surely he’s got other houses?
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@RobBryher
Its a scam to privatise roads and increase surveillance.
You already pay per mile via fuel duty.
It's a solution to a problem that doesn't exist.
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@anon_opin
Says the man terrified of an empowered woman controlling her commercial destiny and IP.
Get in the bin.
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@fesshole
Was looking at your house the other day with my kids. “Watch out for the paedo house kids its blurred for a reason.”
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@GoodLawProject
How do we cross reference the backers with those who shorted Sterling before the budget? If they did their “investment” has now been paid back and they’ll kick her to the curb.
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@AlanMyles8
I’m sorry Alan. You deserved better. Scotland deserves better than the shambles that is
@PoliceScotland
Road policing.
Why the officer wasn’t compelled to provide an account of themselves is mind boggling.
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@BladeoftheS
If the planning permission story in the papers is to be believe she's nothing more than a Grifter cashing in on his memory.
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@fesshole
That reminds me. Who’d like a link to one of my custom Xmas cards showing Meghan dressed as Santa handing out dinghies to refugees?
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@PeterBale
@kenklippenstein
@TaylorLorenz
@JimLaPorta
It was literally a factual statement. How can that be a cop out 🤦♂️
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@MarkSmithtopgu1
@DulwichRoads
@lambeth_council
@MPSHerneHill
@MPSRTPC
@hernehillforum
@saferrosendale
@betterstreetswd
@WestDulParent
@RosemeadPrep
I saw your granny mugged today, but I didn’t report it because I didn’t want to be a grass.
Hope you don’t mind.
Uninsured driver who if they hurt someone it will come out of everyone’s insurance premiums via contributions to MIB.
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@MartynSpence
@implausibleblog
Dont talk crap Martyn. Cutting 20% relief off the top did not “destroy your pension”.
What you mean is as a higher rate tax payer you don’t want to pay your fair share to get the country up and running again.
Thats *if* the current scare stories in the RW press are true.
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@DC_RPT
Can you elaborate what law they were breaking?
Speeding is not a crime for a cyclist and given how controlled they were this doesn’t appear to meet the bar for a S29 offence - Reckless or Inconsiderate Cycling.
Maybe keep you beak out next time?
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@robdelaney
@BennettKaru
There are plenty of magic money trees but he wants to avoid pruning any of them as it requires putting the needs of the state above the needs of his corporate backers. Oil companies with inflated Ukraine war profits for one.
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@seananmcguire
Yay my UK import pre-order of Spelunking Through Hell has arrived!
Uh-oh - Incryptid is so good I accidentally ordered it 3 times 🤦♂️
First 2 DM’s I get will get a free book (UK only postage) but please consider donating the cost (£10.72) to a Ukraine 🇺🇦 appeal.
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@MrHarryCole
This is the same George Freeman who’s claimed over £200k in expenses for the last 3 years right ?
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@KnifeySpooniee
@fesshole
WTAF? Surely parenting someone else's children well is one of the most noble things a person can do? There was no suggestion as to when the new relationship happened. But you had to go all "judgey". I think you should look to see what this says about you.
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@AVFCDaniel
@MikeyCycling
It’s a matter of public record if you attend court as
@MikeyCycling
did.
Do keep up Dannyboy. 🤦♂️
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@CarlosMcLee
@simonharris_mbd
You mean the “victim” who’s legal representative has said it’s all been mischaracterised by the press? That victim?
Sooo quick to judge aren’t you?
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@MGoodwinFreeman
That was from the Evening Standard Podcast in 2022.
This is from the ES in 2023.
You are a liar and so is Susan Halls campaign.
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@fesshole
Newsflash this is all 40 something western men everywhere.
Don’t worry. It subsides when you start helping them onto the bedroom commode at 70.
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@fesshole
And yet no-one detected your access and then fired you for unauthorised access to customer accounts. 🤔
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@SBarrettBar
@MattHarperUK
@BarristerSecret
Mistruths and misdirections.
The CPS has the power to take over a private prosecution. That does not mean they are required to.
Also you know full well Steven that only the most serious of cases are escalated up to the DPP.
There was no known reason to (at the time).
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@1791rightsofman
@MikeyCycling
Alternatively don’t drive like a knob.
Millions of safe non-entitled drivers manage it every day.
Be more like them.
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Cry for help here.
I want a mapping app/paper that only shows cycle friendly rights of way on it.
No tiny dashes for footpaths, no iffy Strava heat maps.
Just all of the paths I can cycle on and none of the ones I can’t.
Does it exist?
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@jonrogerswriter
@fesshole
Since either option involves a gay relationship why does one make more sense that the other?🤔
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@EmilyKerr36
@CarFreeRoutes
You could of course have mentioned the 20% odd percent of all students who have completed A Level and GCSE’s and are off *and* who are a statistically bigger number but you had to make it classist didn’t you?
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@Dr_BellaR
Not to mention they are paying PA’s more than the doctors they couldn’t be arsed to recruit.
So the public is paying more for less qualified staff.
It takes 3-4 years post qualification training for a Jnr Doctor to match the salary of a 1 yr qualified PA.
How can that be ok?
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@DanNeidle
Parents and school agree an annual charge (refund) based on the school using the child’s IP (aka Assignments) and Image rights (school Photos) for the year.
Holder of the IP and Image rights is based in Ireland (& Netherlands) & parents are shareholders.
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@sophiearumble
Except her TL is still a bin fire.
She’s not sorry.
She’s sorry she got caught.
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@terrysaunders
@UnhingedYogi
@sandofsky
@elonmusk
@Tesla
Careful. You’ll hit him right in the ego. 🤣
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@RenezuoArt
@ask_aubry
How was it equitable for him to have a career and her not🤔?
Then for the cost of childcare to be weaponised to stop her?
What should have happened was they pay the same % of their salary into a household account and childcare comes out along with everything else.
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@gillradcliffe
@mynnoj
@NorfolkBroads68
@LizKershawDJ
Your mean the same minimal improvements the original landlord refused to make?🧐
Help me with the difference here?
Corporation or overly entitled landlord who did nothing but have a relative kark it - I’m struggling to see the difference TBH.
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@MikeyCycling
@GWRHelp
@LNER
Hi Mikey. Good sentiment, wrong targets.
Neither train operating company was involved in spec’ing those cupboards. It was the RSSB.
The RSSB is funded by the Dept of Transport.
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@ShaunFe38105699
I dislike bad drivers simple as that. Hating them requires far too much energy.
This case is a great example. Rural village, crappy road, you can see I was doing the speed limit and yet still a speeding overtake for zero reason.
Please try to drive to test standard.
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@KatieMorley_
@Jontafkasi
@Telegraph
You mean you like to shill for the Right even at 2030 when presumably you’re not on the clock?
Fair enough.
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@CarFreeRoutes
The law on driving after a seizure is pretty clear and does not align to your world view.
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@fesshole
They never noticed. They ripped the hive main unit off the wall when he vigorously had her against it.
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Halfway through
@cstross
Quantum of Nightmares Book 2 of a side series in the excellent
#laundryfiles
. As a former supermarket worker I’m desperately hoping the CEO of Asda-Walmart never reads a copy and takes it as an instruction manual.
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