Lloyd “Shandy” Murphy
@MurphyJLloyd
Followers
934
Following
331
Media
126
Statuses
738
Tidewater Community College 78’. Retired accountant turned professional shuffleboard player and bingo champion. I hate welders. Country Club Sandbagger.
Joined December 2021
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If my wife isn’t picking my kids up from school dressed and looking like this, in a Range Rover (blacked out), then I have completely failed at life.
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High School Grad Party.
Giving these kids their Welcome to the SEC moment. Setting the tone early.
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Shandy is on open water. I repeat shandy is on open water.
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Downloaded hinge this morning.
If you didn’t know, now you do. Peter Millar gets you laid. Thanks.
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Trump was asking this guy for reads. This guys got not a fucking clue.
“What do you see there Nevel?”
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Can we all agree that when executed properly, sorority recruitment TikTok’s are very attractive?
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Ice Cream and Sunset Watching with the starting point guard this summer.
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@larrylovespot
Shits gonna be like the scene in Wolf of Wallstreet when they’re flying off the quaaludes. Safe travels Larry.
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Jayden Quaintance to Louisville and Pat Kelsey would be the equivalent of the Julio Jones commitment to Nick Saban.
JQ… you know where home is.
#ReviVILLE
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If you are a junior or older and still have your fraternity’s letters in your instagram bio, you’re a loser.
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Morning debrief. I don’t think I’m ready to come to terms with last nights actions.
I may need to hold a State of the Union address.
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Nobody is praying for you when you’re winning. Don’t forget it.
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@DrescottP
If you’re 27 and still affiliating yourself with your college fraternity, you’re a grade A loser. Phi Alpha though buddy.
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Left hand is steering the other is gripping her thigh. Pregaming my 5:50 tee time. Hopefully, I don’t get Scheffler’d.
#LloydTracker
🔜
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@CandlelightBuck
Imagine the politics that go into a video of this caliber. Couldn’t imagine the drama.
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Two Day Work Week For Lloyd:
Monday: Work
Tuesday: Work
Wednesday: Juneteenth (off)✊🏾
Thursday: Member-Guest Tournament
Friday: Member-Guest Tournament
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I love Juneteenth. They gave Lloyd the day off.
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@popdatpussyfoAC
I have no idea who this chick is. But she would definitely catch me lacking at the bar (hammered) around 2:30 in the morning.
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Scrolling through LinkedIn and I stumble across this cat wearing black under a navy suit. This is diabolical and a fireable offense. Kids not even making it through the door if I’m upper management.
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Being 21, it feels retarded to ask a girl out like “will you be my girlfriend”. This the advice I gave my buddy. I mean what do you say these days at our age? Reply chat.
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What’s the best frozen pizza brand?
I got Digiorno (I used to be a Jacks guy)
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I wise man once told me, when you stop giving a fuck, you’ll find more success.
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Ideal threesome. Best of both worlds. Two builds. Two archetypes. Multi-faceted skillsets.
Any objections?
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Pornstar being said in a presidential debate was not on my bingo card 🤣🤣🤣
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Yes, I was at the PGA Championship today
Yes, I am wearing a Peter Millar 2022 Masters q-zip
Yes, I got filmed for Netflix’s Full Swing Doc
Yes, I maxed out my mother’s Amex in the gift shop
Yes, BK is -4
Any problems with that, please take it up with my lawyer.
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White to blue collar for the day. Side Job Sunday. Concluding it with the fellas the proper way… draft Modelo.
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Stop sending text messages thanking people. Handwrite them.
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Cinnamon Rolls in the oven and Gameday on the TV.
You’re right, I have absolutely zero complaints. 👍🏼
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This is what a bogey free 2 under scramble looks like (9 holes). Casual imports and shutting down the neighborhood Mexican restaurant.
GREENS ARE FIRM AND FAST.
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Weather is shit. Spent all day in the Apple Store after an unknown person (likely liberals) tried hacking my iPhone. They almost took everything from me (phone completely reset) Too bad I’m rich and pay for extra storage on the ICloud. I’m just happy to be here at this point.
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Alrighty, screw the liberal/leftist talk. Can anybody comprehend this on a Monday?
#LovelyRunner
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@HairyPickle711
You’re right. I take back this comment. Neville is a great man just trying to make an honest dollar, caddying for the POTUS. A pretty great gig.
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With Syllabus week fast approaching, make sure to check in with your Victory Lap fellas with some kind encouragement.
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Why did she have to post these smack dab in the middle of the work day. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
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I run out of free likes and then Hinge decides to throw an absolute 10/10 on the next slide.
Happens every time. Fuck this app.
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Preparing to sandbag the member-guest at the country club. Sorry Dad, your son’s an asshole and does not care about your friendships up at the club.
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Hungover Sunday golf by yourself is the best remedy to the Sunday Scaries.
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“If I would’ve had a better attitude and didn’t quit my sophomore year because I hated coach, that could’ve been me.”
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@prettygoodyou
Just because this doesn’t work on the dudes you flirt with doesn’t mean it doesn’t work on hot white girls.
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Shoutout to the local fruit market for making sure I’m prepared for my big night with
@cigarettequeeen
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Headed to the course for a quick 9 with a potential client. Deal should close, pulling up like this means I’m strictly business.
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Last person I’m taking advice from is Lovelace from Happy Feet. Stick to your Gildan tees. Sick tat and beer though. 🤙🤙
Clothes don’t get you laid, how you carry yourself in them does
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Yes, mom. You don’t have to worry about me bringing shandy’s to dinner.
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Played straight 2018 throwbacks the whole way home. The nostalgia it brought back:
First Juul hit
Bumming rides
Burnett’s vodka (pineapple)
High school kickbacks
Box mods with exotic juices
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Boss man just informed me that he has a golf scramble at 1:00. It’s gonna take an army to stop me from leaving here at 3:45 to go home and play CFB.
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Getting degenerate before the engagement party. Hopefully I don’t make a scene as the best man.
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The burner verse is in the game.
Lloyd is about to let some losers have it.
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Don’t care about the debate? Go fill your 22-gallon rig up and think again. Sleepy Joe, I NEED ANSWERS!!!! Drill, drill, drill.
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@cigarettequeeen
@zyn4cpa
No! My bloodline and last name need to live on. We can get a surrogate. Thanks. ❤️
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@drunkcigs777
This shit gets worse the more I look. Please tell me you don’t have one ear pierced.
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The night has reached Hudl highlights.
Getting old.
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@Mattylice69
Start giving her a bunch of cocaine before you take her out to eat/on a date to suppress the appetite.
Double whammy. Save money and she loses weight.
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You got me fucked up if you think my son will touch the batters box with a face mask on. Where is the grit in today’s youth sports?
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Mom found 60 zyn cans in my room. Told me I need to think about quitting. It’s been weighing on my conscious lately. I know it’s time, but I’m not ready.
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@gr8g0oglymo0gly
No, just reinforcing Charles Darwin’s theory of Natural Selection and Survival of the Fittest.
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Pulling the run-about (high field) with the big rig. Life is good. Making up for my dud of a Fourth.
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Tornado Warning for the area. Meaning I’m forced to watch liberal thug-ball for entertainment.
@adamsilver
fix your fucking league. I want the 89 Pistons back. No blood, no foul.
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Upped the ante this morning, and used all my free hinge likes on the older population (30-38). Let’s see what Lloyd scores with this one.
Time to diversify the portfolio. A championship roster is built with experience.
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No shit, you don’t say. Nothing tells the truth like the eyes do.
Try going crazy for a salad and a little bit of cardio.
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I earned these beers today. Respectfully. Valhalla is no morning stroll.
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Get off from fucking work to my mom practicing her “dinks” in the garage on her newly built dink master. This game is consuming the older population. 🤣🤣🤣
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Watching Hillbilly Elegy (JD Vance Childhood Biopic) and eating Cinnamon sugar seasoned Dot’s Pretzels.
DND. Life is Good!
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@CurvyDick911
Logical:
1. I thought the bikini had a cool pattern.
2. If she’s at the beach, just say you liked the scenery, maybe the sunset.
Piss her off:
1. It’s your best friend, quit being an insecure bitch.
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You white boys care if me and a buddy sit on a floating bar and drink?
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I imagine this is what the founding fathers envisioned in 1787 when they wrote “insure domestic tranquility” in the Preamble of the Constitution.
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@thumbPuncher
I like them in my lower lip. Bitches sizzles down there. Gotta try them and lmk what you think.
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My local watering hole’s draft is broken. Settled for the bottle. A beer is a beer, especially on a Friday.
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Currently walking my dog in sweat pants and a sweatshirt. 64 degrees in the middle of June. Fuck the lefts global warming agenda. Garbage propaganda bullshit.
Went 1/2 (50%) on shit pickup. Yes, the dog shit twice on the duration of the walk.
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Girls with less than 5,000 followers that try to post like an influencer are mad fucking corny. Rest assured that nobody wants a link to your exact outfit.
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Stones on the speaker, dinner on the stove, football on the TV, cold beer on the house! 👍🏼
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@Zyndad101
Mfs would have to shake the fabric of time and space itself to remove my tongue from her ass
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@RaleighBill72
Yep these assholes are the reason I missed my 10ft birdie putt to break 70 for the first time. No golf etiquette at all. Just sickening and their fathers should be ashamed.
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