QuaaLud Aberg
@8ozfilet
Followers
444
Following
200
Media
152
Statuses
1,417
Semi-Pro sports handicapper / Detroit sports truther
BlizzardVille Oklahoma
Joined June 2024
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No, ur a fucking loser and If I ever hear anyone say that I’m punching them in the face.
#ShrinkTheGame
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35
2K
Here’s the plan.
- heat the pan
- drop the full gram on the pan
- put the lid on the pan
- inhale through straw through hold in lid
Readdddyyyyyy break 👏🏼
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Top 5 inventions of all time
1. Dab Pens
2. Recliner chairs
3. Golf
4. Tits
5. Cleaning ladies
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Out this bitch.
10 weeks, 2 Twitter accounts, 17 dab pens, 82 white monsters, and a ton of damn good music later here we are. Thank you Chicago, I’ll be back someday.
And as always, i hope everyone has a blessed weekend.
- QuaaLud Aberg
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10:26 in the morning quite literally does not get better than this
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Disrespecting ur mom is NOT a trend and NOT cool - yall r lame for this, moms go through hell tryna raise our degenerate asses, not the way to treat them when we’re grown.
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Top 10 substances that would feel good to dip ur balls in
1. Soft butter
2. Nacho cheese
3. Molasses
4. Honey
5. Aioli
6. Eastern Europeans mouth
7. Cool whip
8. Sweet and sour sauce
9. Yogurt
10. Soy sauce
HM: skyline chili
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Introduced this foreign kid from work to weed a few weeks ago, and now he smokes everyday lmao
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Fighting an absolutely wicked hangover/comedown - don’t plan on doing anything but smoking my life away and rewatching entourage for the next 10 hours
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First time being home since May, I’ll take a back patio unwind with a nice glass of bourbon, thx.
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Picked up a casual new piece, nun crazy the color caught my eye and I thought it was slick. Gotta love gambling!!!
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Shadow boxing in the mirror before a shower is something women will just never understand
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Ain’t it just a beautiful morning??
Hope everyone has nothing short of a wonderful week.
Cheers,
8oz.
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What game yall playing today? I’m on PGA cause there’s really no new games out rn
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Top 5 worst places to get a boner
1. In class
2. While playing a sport
3. When swimming, but abt to get out
4. In the Gym
5. In the sonic drive thru while wearing grey pants and it’s very obvious and the window worker is gay because he’ll give u a wink and make u wanna throwup
4
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Gonna send this to the plug next time he asks how his shit was
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3 people we wouldn’t trip about if they got lost at sea and never came home (no order)
Angel Reese
Jack Doherty
Noah Lyles
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- 9:30 tee time
- Lunch at the club
- Grab beers talk ball w rich members
- Rip the par 3 course a few times
- Shower
- Steak dinner and a nice bottle of red
- Call bag man
- Have a night
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Places it is acceptable to sit while peeing
- family dinner
- in the office
- DURING class
- in ur own home
- after a long round
Places it is unacceptable
- at the bar
- at a sporting event
- at the turn
- in porta johns (hope no one does this)
- coffee shops
4
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25
Dear everybody,
I am sorry for many name changes, but I want to share with the feed that I am no longer 8oz filet or Sam LaPortas Burner.
I finally decided on a name, and I’m going to stick with it. I am going to honor the Swedish prince.
Hope no one minds
- Lud
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22
I speak for everyone when I say,
We do not give a fuck who ur rebuilding in NCAA25. Stop making stupid edits.
Everyone’s playing the game, everyone’s rebuilding a team, ur not special. We don’t care.
- 8oz
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Top 10 shows from when we were kids (non animated)
1. Kickin It
2. Zoe 101
3. icarly
4. Drake and Josh
5. Victorious
6. Wizards of Waverly place
7. Hannah Montana
8. Jessie
9. Sweet Life of Z&C
10. Zeke and Luther
HM: Lab Rats
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24
Hit the pen and spent 85$ at the grocery store today….
I move out in 36 hours
What the fuck am I gonna do with all this food? What the fuck was I thinking? Smh.
If ur in the Chicago area and want like 6 boxes of Eggo waffles hmu
4
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Things I’m so heavy on rn
- my new golf grip
- Tyler Childers
- back patio
- front porch
- running TE screen in the redzone
- Taco Bell cantina menu
- on clouds
- kjus golf polos
- hitting the stiiz after every bogey in PGA 2k23 my career
- foot mother fucking ball starting soon
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22
Whose in the wrong plz help
- Roommate had friends over
- I get home from bar absolutely smacked
- I catch his friend snooping around in my closet
- I put his friend to sleep via rear naked choke
- friends friend step in, I sleep him with a right
They tryna say I’m the bad guy?
9
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21
Challenged my mom to a tennis match, kinda feel bad I’m a little hammered and took the shit talking a little far
She’s played everyday for 20 years, I haven’t touched a racket in 12 years.
My uncle just set the line at
Her -330
Me +450
Realizing I may get waxed. Wish me luck
2
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If you’re a big titty busty blonde with a good ass and a hourglass build that’s located in Chicago….
I definitely will not be at sluggers from 9-12 tonight and you definitely should not come and let me take you home.
Thanks,
8oz
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Just finished my final internship presentation - considering walking home smoking a J and then walking back to office for intern send off.
Would be a wild pull for the last day, will update.
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Things that drive me nuts
- Women
- Slow walkers
- Plugs that take forever
- when the vape spits
- when it’s Sunday n u want chickfila
- women
- shitty edibles
- when bars have covers
- shitty djs too ^
- Yankees
- sweating a basketball over and everyone just starts bricking
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Yes, I am a professional stock trader
Yes, I have insider information
Yes, I will share that info with you
My expert analysis: it’s going down
1
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17
“Just got off work. Boutta have a weekend, the left ain’t ready” lookin ahhhh
3
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17
One of my goals for this year is to spend more time on my porch
3
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16
Enough of the Peters,
I want to talk to you guys about one of the best polos for golf. Both options, polyester and cotton work tremendously on the course. They fit well, don’t bug you, feel nice and in my opinion look very professional. Can wear off course to
RLX = Lud approved
4
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19
FUCKKKKK IT. Not only am I dipping on work I’m dipping on this whole damn city!!!
Left work earlier, packing my bags, and heading to beat
@prezbread
in golf!!!!
Goddamn it I’m ready to be back in the south! Get me outta here now!
4
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19
My last 24 hours in numbers
- 3 nattys
- 3 conference chips
- 5 white monsters
- 2 carts
- 11 kids flushed down toilet
- 3 heismans
- 4 hours of sleep
- 0 hours of sunlight
3
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@Zyndad101
Remember jerking to SI Swimsuit magazines in the downstairs guest bathroom when I was like 12, wow, good times, good times.
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USA basketball is a fucking joke dude.
- can’t put out the right lineups
- can’t play team basketball
- can’t play hard defense
- get out hustled every play
You guys fucking suck and I can’t stand watching you stupid fucks.
Put out a real fucking lineup plz.
2
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If you have any clue how to play tennis plz drop advice below.
This is really happening, i got drunk and told my mom I’d kick her ass and now we’re actually playing.
Plz drop serious tips I am not good at all
9
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Mom asked me if I’d been making friends this summer,
“Yes, well no, kinda - so like we’re all on Twitter. I’ve never met any of them, but I feel like I known them forever mom! It’s more than just a screen name and tweets, they’re friends I promise”
3
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15
Playing golf today with
- my dad
- sisters boyfriend
- boyfriends dad
Time to solidify myself as the best golfer in the current family, potential family, future family, it don’t fucking matter - I let the sticks talk.
3
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Dear community,
Tonight I had to bury an old friend.
It wasn’t easy and is hitting me harder than expected, think I’m going to take Monday off.
Hope everyone can respect my decision, and thank you for the support.
He’s gone now. Time to let go.
- JW Sr. (SLP)
6
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You kids look so dumb posting racks of 10 peters thinking it’s cool.
These are my extra ones i left at home cuz they didn’t fit in my closet 🤣🤣
1
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Top 10 college QB’s of all time
1. JJ McCarthy
2. Denard Robinson
3. Geno Smith
4. Doug Flutie
5. Andrew Luck
6. Baker Mayfield
7. Shea Patterson
8. Tim Tebow
9. Jadyn Davis
10. Marcus Mariota
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Big day tmrw, nothing like being home for a weekend and causing havoc!
1
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Top 5 Vehicles invented
1. The Truck
2. Jet skis
3. Forklifts
4. Golf carts
5. Convertibles
6
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Got off early, it’s 75 and sunny. Gonna go smoke a joint on Lake Michigan, hope no one minds.
- 8oz
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Lost a bet with my buddy and had to donate 100$ to the Biden Campaign
0
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15
My prediction for the Top 10 NFL WR’s AFTER this szn.
1. Justin Jefferson
2. Tyreek
3. JaMarr Chase
4. Amon RA St Brown
5. Davante Adams
6. AJ Brown
7. Cooper Kupp
8. Garrett Wilson
9. Mike Evans
10. Jameson Williams
HM: Ceedee Lamb
7
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15
“Why aren’t you going out tonight”
I have business to attend to.
2
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Last patio sesh in the hometown crib for awhile, back to blizzardville tmrw. Cant wait to get that back patio up and firing.
1
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Uber? Never heard of it, usually just phone my boy Doron, doesn’t talk much but he’s chill and gets me to where I need to be.
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Would kill for a back scratch from a big titty blonde right about now
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I don’t ever wanna fffeeeeeellllllll like I did that day, take me to the place I llloooovvvvveeeeee, take me all the wayyyyyyy, yeahhhhh yeah.
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Nothing better than attacking ur irl friends through the burner
2
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Every time I like an instagram story I scream “from deeepppp” in my head
1
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Can’t wait to spend all my profits on a Carlos Bagaraz next weekend
1
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Causing a scene at the ford dealership this morning. Booked an 8am oil change and tire rotation appointment 2 weeks ago. Got here at 8am, my car hasn’t even gone into the shop yet and now they’re saying ready at 12:30.
What did I book 8am for? What? How is my car not in yet?
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Saw a fly on my wall so I threw my phone at it. Phone is broken, fly is on the run.
- sent from my computer
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