Tutankhamun
@rileyarnie
Followers
4,440
Following
832
Media
22,275
Statuses
353,682
#Batman |Gambino |Overdosed on confidence |Charming nigga that can harm a nigga | 最強 FIFA player |Pro toilet flusher |Arrogant Ambassador|Glad you liked it|
Bumming with Emoji ☺
Joined May 2011
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Pinned Tweet
When you turn on your computer what does it say?
Does it say Hello?
Because if it does say hello then its probably a dell.
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I’ll start taking photos of billboards that make me chuckle
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Getting a billionaire girlfriend so she can fund your start ups >>>
Asap Rocky launches new Whiskey Brand “Mercer + Prince”!🖤
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Having a family is living beyond my means.
100k salary is enough to start a family if you don't live above your means.
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Who has been charged with the killings of the youth since last week?
#RutoMustGo
#RejectFinanceBill2024
Two charged with threatening to kill CS Ndung'u and MP Ichung'wah via WhatsApp messages
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what is that keychain??? haha
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LMAO!! I still multiply dollars by 100 in my head.. mahn, fuck this government buana.. 112 aje?
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so tumuite Linus Ngaingai?
I always have a problem when someone types "Kai" or "Khai" or "Gai".
It is NGAI!
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I think a lot about that person who had to write a paper and do a presentation on Euthanasia and instead wrote one about Youth in Asia. haha
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Nimousine
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If you can, kaa mtaani hadi uwe na kasomething buana. This is not living.
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Curtains 10K kwani ni ile Mungu alikata mara mbili??
If your own parents haven’t complained about you overstaying in their house , usipewe pressure na watu hapa ..wadau curtains pekee ni 8-10k 😂😂😂 baki tu kwenu place Uko assured of 3 square meals a day , huku tunajiforce kuamka past 11 ndio tuseme saa za breakfast zimepita
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Kwani huangaliangi kioo ukikula?
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Cancel that whole event. There is no reason to hold a peace leadership conference in a country where the president massacred its citizens for 12 hours.
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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I love your kenyan accent, what day of the week is it again?
Me:
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People are stupid. LMAO. Prophet owuor healed an alleged blind person, who hadn't seen their whole life and asked them the colour of his shirt and he got it right. Hahaha I mean, if it was his first time seeing, how did he know colours? 😂😂😂
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This is exactly why all of them must go. We are not doing this musical chairs nonsense anymore.
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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Kwani watu wakikuja kuangalia walikuwa wanafinyafinya kama maembe?
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You work hard so your kids don't struggle then someone will hate them coz they're privileged.
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“Cheza cheza nayo utaiona “ hahahahaha
Someone mentioned agriculture and tears filled my eyes.😂These are carrots I watered for three months💀💀,THREEE MONTHS!😩
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Next time I'm on a date and shawty tries to eat from my plate.
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I also want Meagan Good's ex-husband afungwe na huyu wa kilifi. Karibu atunyang'anye baddie buana.
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I try to be as consistent as I can with people in my life, but life itself is inconsistent. It kinda feels unfair when people expect the exact version of you every single second. E.g. I can be fun & talkative but I can also have an off day/week where I won't be those things.
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Your PAL games won’t work on my console, mine is NTSC.
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Y'all eat ass but sodium metabisulphite is where you draw the line?
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When you got home to find someone switched off the PS2 and you didn't have a memory card.
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As long as I got my nut. She can go through the dictionary if she wants.
AFTER DICK, ITS BEDTIME, IF SHE STILL GOING THROUGH HER PHONE, YOU DID BAD BRUH.
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I'll just leave this here 😂😂
There is a dog in our estate called Archie and it’s terrorizing people and I ... uuhhhhmmm
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Matters on inclusivity become hard to grasp when you're not the one being excluded.
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lace panties ni 350 pekee? thought them shits were expensive kumbe ni bei ya beer tu
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Let me tell you. There are people who genuinely love you. Find them. Spend time with them. Their company will uplift you and remind you that you are loved and that you have a reason to be alive and around. They nourish your soul 💕
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Fam. Stared at this for a whole 2 mins before I realized it wasn't her neck 😭😭
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Imagine dating someone then finding out they have enabled auto rotate on their phone. Yuck.
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Y'all love black on everything except people.
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Siet, number plate zishafika RAV?
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"Hi"
"Hey"
How was your day?
"It was okay, nothing much. Yours?"
"Okay too, can't complain. So what are you upto?"
"Nothing really, just chilling. You?"
Then people wonder why you don't text back.
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Umepeleka crocs kwa fundi?
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people need to LAN this.
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This year I realized you can't create a connection. It's either there or not. So if you don't feel that spark, quit wasting your time my G.
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Love triangle
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We may joke but this is so unprofessional mahn. Why do older people think the younger ones don't deserve respect? Smfh.
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DISCLAIMER!!! If we're meeting up and you're more than 15 mins late don't bother showing up. Y'all fuckers need to learn how to respect people's time.
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Me going to the counter to get a beer then I see the shots lady
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Which iptv do y’all use? I need to test one for like a month before committing.
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Siet, nimeenda kurusha DM nikapatana na salamu zangu za 2017 😭
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Chapo na beans zimeisha the same time kwa sahani... I'm ready to oversee the country's budget
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You can pay tribute to whoever the fuck you want. If an international artist had more influence and more of an impact on you than a local artist. That's fine. Mnasumbuanga watu bure.
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Good thing about Christmas, sisi wanaume kazi yetu huwa kukula, kuserviwa chakula na kukunywa tu. Hail patriarchy.
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I see why God had to rest on the 7th day, creating such a masterpiece can take a toll on anyone.
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There's a misconception that good communication involves talking/texting every single hour of the day.
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*AESTHETHIC
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Causing traffic for nonsense he could have done on his computer.
Filing of returns, Kenya Revenue Authority, Times Tower, Nairobi.
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Live images of my penis and I in the bathroom when shawty is waiting on the bed.
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LMAO. We dealing with absolutes now. Kama we are making plans, ni yes or no with the date set in stone. Sio ati "maybe next week I'll be free" or "I'll let you know."
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This is literally the funniest video I saw all weekend mahn, 😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Unaenda therapy kuambiwa it’s a safe space and you can share anything alafu someone comes and posts your business online for clout. SMH.
During group therapy today, we had a guy open up about his relationship and it sounded like a script out of a movie.
Apparently his dad had been clapping his fiance's cheeks for two years even while knowing they are about to have a wedding. 😕 Like wtf! Ningeua mtu Mimi😂
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If you have to ask for reciprocity then leave that relationship.
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No fellatio before the ruracio
This is hilarious. I have some questions. What does the bible say about foreplay and fellatio?
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Unakula alafu unalala ndani ya fridge
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Damn, my next girlfriend is gonna be lucky asf. Peng ting with no emotional baggage who's worked on himself and continues to. I'm gonna be an answer to someone's prayer.
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Kwani ni medium rare?
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Never buana, kwanza kama wanafana. Unaclap cheeks unaona tu sura ya boyz wako. LMAAAAAAOOOO
Umewai ona sister ya beste yako ukaanza kufikiria vile the word “in-law” itaongezwa kwa hii maneno yote?
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Susan from 4th floor in ruaka is sad that Idris Elba has gotten married and now she won't get a chance with him.
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A thread to track the movies that I have and will watch in 2020..
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Twitter really has given people some false sense of power and it's really hilarious mahn.
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I get why coasterians get mad when someone is in lamu and tells them they're in Mombasa. Imagine someone telling you they're in Nairobi only to find out they're in Rongai, Kitengela, Kikuyu or Ngong. I'd be mad too.
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imagine Barcelona beating Real Madrid 1-0 but Real Madrid refuse to accept it as a Barcelona win because THEY failed to score. Do you think Barcelona would care?
The problem with men is that they count sex rounds based on them cumming not on mutual cum. If I didn’t have an orgasm, we can’t calculate that as a round. Whose round is it? Yours alone? If you’ve NEVER made a woman orgasm, you’ve never finished a round in your life. Drops 🎤
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After watching Free Guy I officially love Jodie Comer and I’m about to watch everything she’s ever been on.
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The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is back next week, let's gooooooooooooOO!!!!!!
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