Lisa
@cowphilosopher
Followers
558
Following
407
Media
1,343
Statuses
8,467
Cat loving immigrant cyclist. You may also find some enforcement content mixed in.
London
Joined December 2012
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Inspired by
@weskrantz
I have decided to adopt these two adorable little ones. They come home with me next month.
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At the gym this morning, I saw a notice on the board about Green Travel and how we all need to do our part and how the gym is committed to active travel. You can see their commitment with their TWO bike racks, both conveniently located in about 2 inches of water.
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In an active travel meeting
Design engineer: People know that walking or cycling is healthier, but they don't do it and we can't make them.
Me: It's healthier until you get run over by a panel van.
Design engineer:
Me: So maybe that's why more people don't walk or cycle
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To the fellow cyclist who just HAD to voice his opinion about my body in lycra this morning: fuck right off.
And, no. You can't borrow my suncream. I need all of it to cover every inch of this body you find so distasteful.
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Panel van driver this morning called me a psychopath for cycling in the road, said I was going to die. Then he pulled into my development where I live. Awkward for him. Wasn't expecting me to be 6'1 and completely unafraid of him. Apparently we're supposed to fragile flowers.
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Fellow cyclists, the occasional "on your right" or even "good morning" wouldn't go amiss. I don't mean when you are in super draft mode or already talking. But something friendly once in awhile. This is meant to me fun.
#cycling
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This week in
#cycling
, had a close pass driver shout "fat slag" at me, and tonight I was called a "cultist cvnt."
I've never felt more like a real cyclist than right now.
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@MGIFOTB
Cue: lots of angry drivers asking why you are going too fast to stop, not looking, something about tax....
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This driver wanted me to know that she only pulled in to take an emergency phone call and didn't want the points for driving on the phone.
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It took 6 hours of moving time for me to cycle to Brighton yesterday. Here's what I did right:
1/
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Okay, folks, let's go over this again:
If you hire someone to build your extension and take away the rubbish and you DON'T check their waste carrier's licence, this is what happens to your stuff
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To the kid who felt the need to lean out the passenger window of his dad's SUV and shout "fat ass" at me as a cycled through Fifiled this morning, that's quite a posh accent for such foul language. What ARE they teaching you boys at Harrow?
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At the posh gym today for a swim. Someone told me they don't think I should be glamourising obesity. That means someone saw me getting into or out of the pool and thought, "that's pretty glamorous."
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@Lord_Stones
@LBofHounslow
Can't decide which part of this tweet is my fave:
1. Tagging Council to complain that they provide service
2. Personal information of "picking up the family turkey" - unnecessary
3. Assumption laws don't apply for...reasons
4. Ref to businesses struggling: only entitled spend £
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@dieworkwear
Honestly, reading what you write about clothing and fashion makes me think I would be better off just learning to sew.
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On the train home now. Didn't make it 100km. Physically, I'm fine (some leg cramping) but mentally I'm all over the shop.
Things I did right:
- eating on the bike
- good pace for me
- 3 hours with a bum in a saddle is better than 0 hours with a bum in a saddle
1/
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Recently my GP saw me take my bike on a train and thought to herself how brave I was wearing lycra in front of people. This anecdote was relayed to me in the context of if I should be referred to the bariatric clinic.
What I'm saying is I'm looking for a new GP.
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@MikeyCycling
The hi vis comments seem to be the cycling equivalent of "if you didn't want to get raped you shouldn't wear shorts shirts" argument.
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Inspired by both
@carlafrancome
and
@CyclingInASkirt
for this morning's easy poodle down the canal.
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Another cyclist caught up with me this morning and we got to chatting about the weather. He called it "crisp" and I called it "properly British."
Him: where are you from?
Me: Arizona
Him: What are you doing here then?
Me: I wanted to see what vitamin D deficiency is like.
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The council did a consultation on where to put in bike racks in town centres. A coffee shop on my regular commute actively campaigned AGAINST a bike rack near them. Do they not understand how much cake and coffee I consume on commute days?
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I want to thank everyone for advice and support about cycling in the dark. Gave it a go this evening and it wasn't as bad as I've built it up in my mind. Will get some additional lights and reflectors and such, so lots of good advice.
#cycling
Day One of
#30DayCycling
(again)
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@theJeremyVine
This is why you ring your bell and slow down coming into a blind corner like that.
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@tricyclemayor
I distinctly remember my parents teaching me again and again not to stare, not to point, and so forth. Just thought everyone else had that lesson too. Guess not.
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Tomorrow will be my first attempt on Brighton. That is, cycling to Brighton from London. Weather should be good, tailwind most of the day, route misses out Ditchling Beacon and Epsom. Ride leader is getting over a cold so won't go fast.
Wish me luck! 🚴♀️🚴🚴♀️🚴
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What's got 2 thumbs and just fell over in the most spectacular wardrobe malfunction-related bike dismount of the year?
This girl:
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Thames Valley Police
@tvprp
here to say that if you get hit, it's your fault for not wearing pink, yellow or orange.
If you get hit wearing pink, yellow or orange, it's your fault for some other reasons.
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@SarahjevsEvans
Why your place hasn't sold already with those two in all the photos is a mystery.
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Have a difficult floor routine? Never fear: Darth is your spotter.
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There seems to be an impression that if you leave your hazard lights on, you can park on the footway. Its incorrect and will cost a £65 PCN.
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Smugness alert:
Met the hubs for dinner after work, so I cycled there and he took Uber. On the way home I suggested we race. I won by about 7 minutes because
#cycling
is awesome.
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@FuckCarsReddit
And yet, take away part of that lane to put in a cycle lane and the whole world explodes and suddenly there isn't enough room.
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Okay Cycling Twitter, tips for getting over fears of cycling in the dark? I have lights and hi vis. Just not convinced drivers will see me/care.
@carlafrancome
@HackneyBikeFit
#cycling
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@worthingsteve
@steaminelle
@fecklessfox1000
Innocent or not, that her fears don't register with him is a huge red flag.
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@BillBadbody
Surprisingly, the drivers also have the good sense and courtesy to stop and wait for them to pass, also unlike the cycling experience.
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Cycling doesn't have to be all lycra and helmets.
@CyclingInASkirt
rides in a skirt,
@carlafrancome
rocks the lippy and eyeliner.
My "come hither"
#cycling
look this week involves compression socks and enormous man shoes
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@Neilsby
@Graham8008M
@breszh
@Sh3zz4
@markandcharlie
A lot of drivers distracted by phone miss when the light turns green or traffic ahead has moved on. When made aware, driver - with phone in hand - speeds off without looking. If cyclist/pedestrian took advantage of that space to cross or filter, could get hit. That is the danger
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Quick shout out to
@CyclingInASkirt
for absolutely kicking cancer's butt! This is the best news going.
Psst......
heard today my cancer treatment worked!
The last few months has been HARD but at least I've had you lovely
#cycling
lot to keep me entertained and your support definitely helped!
See you back on the road soon!
#CancerHasFuckedOff
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@BeauJangle2023
There will always be someone who feels the need to gatekeep. Ignore them. You do you. You do it on a bike and you're a cyclist as far as I'm concerned.
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Sat in a restaurant next to couple Americans. They are both making special orders. "I want this pizza with no cheese, very little sauce and can you take the skin off the chicken before you grill it?"
On behalf of all Americans everywhere, I am so sorry.
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Brighton! I've been in you for several hours now. So many thoughts on this ride. First and foremost on my mind: Devil's Dyke about killed me. I am so glad we went that way and not over the Beacon!
Thank you everyone for your support. Catching the train home from Hove.
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I'm starting a list of historical hotel rooms I don't quite fit into...
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On the next episode of Schrodinger's Cyclist:
Anti-cyclist abuse didn't happen, and it's also the cyclist's fault.
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@gazzabiker
70 seems an arbitrary age. Why not every driver subject to regular driving assessments?
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Okay, it took an "act of Thor" but I am no longer a fair weather cyclist.
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Got myself some new kit from
@FatLadAtTheBack
Great fit, so far and I'm so glad they offer colours other than the approved "lady colours" (pink and purple).
Tomorrow, Windsor!
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We are calling it a night. Our Parkguard support have finished their shift. The drivers are on their TACHO break and will finish collecting what we have scouted.
Tonight's total-
Vehicles towed: 27
PCNs: 41
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I'm working from home and hear a strange noise coming from the bathroom. This is what I found.
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Huge thank-you to
@London_Cycling
for organising and marshaling the
#WomensFreedomRide
today. The marshalls were amazing, the music was great and even the weather cooperated!
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@angehieux
Met on a dating website. The first time he phoned me, he was also babysitting his (then) 9-month-old nephew for the first time. He kept getting off the phone to check the baby was still breathing, then he would call me back. It was so sweet.
We've been married for 9 years.
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Night time enforcement is about to start. This time, we have tow trucks.
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About 20 mins into my ride this morning, a lovely lady drove by slowly and said, "you're amazing!"
I can't thank her enough. She really helped me fight off the brain gremlins today.
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Failed to filter properly this morning and brushed up against a stationary HGV. The difference between a cyclist making this sort of mistake and a driver making this sort of mistake is my error resulted in extra washing. No one was actually harmed.
#cycling
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@theJeremyVine
100%. Whether its to give the driver more time to see you or to give yourself more options should he decide to complete the move anyway, I do the same thing.
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Big, heart-felt thank you to everyone who has offered support and guidance and even a cheeky laugh. I really can't believe I completed this on my first go!
5/5
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@BeauJangle2023
Lots of options available to the driver including hands-free call options and legal parking on the road off every cross road. Blocking 70% of the footpath and then having a go at me were not among the smarter choices made.
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@BlondeHistorian
I don't get this. People get all up in arms about breastfeeding and make women who can't do it feel like failures. But then if you do it, you're supposed to hide it as if it's a shameful secret??
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Does anyone else look at the time Google estimates it will take to cycle to a new destination and think, "yeah, I can beat that..."?
#cycling
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@JujuliaGrace
@EveryDoctorUK
NHS has had my back the whole time I've lived in the UK. You better believe I've got your backs now.
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@JanetRegalia
@weskrantz
I'm hoping to add to the growing body of work that is cats on the Internet.
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Made it to Windsor. More importantly: made it to Cinnamon Cafe!
Haven't passed Thorpe Park once. Not sure what happened.
Really don't know what happened last time!
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This is the face of someone who is not sorry for shredding my leg this morning.
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I realize it's just an estimate, but there is simply no way I burned 1000 calories in 49 minutes at that speed.
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Inspired by
@XantheBearman
and
@carlafrancome
and many others, I am planning on cycling every day for the next 30 days.
No focus on distance or speed. This is just about mental health and building back some good habits that I have lost.
Just finished Day One.
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Okay
#cycling
Twitter, at what point in cleaning a bike do you throw in the towel and decide it's clean enough?
What is your regular bike cleaning routine?
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I decided to just wear my wide legged, stretchy fabric trousers for a quick ride home rather than the lycra. As I swung my leg over the seat, the trousers leg got caught on the saddle and I fell. Many, many witnesses.
No damage.
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In the next exciting episode of Cycling Mistakes with Lisa, we learn the difference between bib tights and FLEECE-LINED bib tights when the temperature feels like 5C.
Abort! Abort! Abort! 🥶🥶🥶🥶
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@EbikeBeth
The police are incorrect. This is a clear violation of both S138 and S149 of the Highways Act 1980.
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At the half way point now distance-wise. But the climbing starts now. And the brain gremlins have started as well. Have to keep checking in with my body. My legs are fine, I'm not out of breath, I'm eating and drinking fine. Just keep the pedals moving.
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This may be selfishness, but how can you be anti-immigration when immigrants bring this??
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Darth doesn't care that I'm a slow cyclist who gets lost and trains home, as long as I keep rubbing the belly.
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@telesyros
@velostefan
By your logic, since there are no deliveries happening in this photo, no deliveries ever happen now or in the future.
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Watching the Jeremy Vine Show amused by the old block saying that some cyclists are fat and shouldn't wear lycra.
Sounds like he got stuck in his Range Rover behind me slowly climbing up the hill to Rickmondsworth. Sorry, but not really.
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