menace (scorched earth protocol)
@Kroniebits
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most likely to be mistaken for a cryptid he/him 24
Joined July 2017
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Pinned Tweet
The time has come. We've had a good run but I can't take it anymore. This is no longer my bit. I will block anyone for any reason no matter how small I don't care. There's no need to subject myself to this anymore I have nothing to prove. It's time to take out the trash.
I will never delete a tweet. I will never block anyone. My dms are open. I am rawdogging this damn app so hard. It's going to kill me.
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You have to earn b by doing c first
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Bro got all of garden
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How horny do you have to be to get a plane ticket to see somebody
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Hey I noticed that the woman in this video is very beautiful, yet here she is described as mid. That's so weird, anyone else notice that?
Every man deserves a quirky mid to wake him up in the morning and make him breakfast like this
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@TheDavidDrake
One time a girl invited me over to, and I quote:"help me hang up my lights because you're so tall". Afterwards she invited me to sleep over. we both had laid down in her bed she was like "I usually sleep naked" and I was like ok I'll look away until you get back under the covers
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@TheDavidDrake
At that point she just kind of gave up dropping hints and just went for it. So happy ending I guess. I still think about how stupid I was. If any ladies are reading this please just tell us if you wanna fuck us it saves so much time.
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Communicating with a dude named Tanner on Snapchat was your first mistake
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This is like a baby sensory video for me
This is what the European highway system is like.
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@mitosismoses
I feel like it becomes a peaceful experience when you fully let go. Don't fight it, relax. It's almost fun
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One time I bought my gf a candle and she cried
It’s hard out here for single men.. y’all gotta drive a 70k + car, make 6 figures, plan trips around the world, can’t really hang out with your boys, buy expensive gifts all to win the heart of a woman that you hope will still love you if you lose everything. Sheesh
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One time I was sexting someone and she was like "tell me everything you'd do to me" so I wrote a whole essay and then she left it on read it was the most embarrassed I've ever felt
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@earfboundheart
Wait that's a good point I didn't think of that. I assumed this was a bait tweet
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Damn I really thought I cooked with this one but it looks like someone got there first
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Why is all smut so terribly written raise your standards
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Her husband when florence pughs tits were on screen
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Imagine the love of your life being in Wisconsin
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I will never delete a tweet. I will never block anyone. My dms are open. I am rawdogging this damn app so hard. It's going to kill me.
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What being horny does to a mf
After almost two decades of being obsessed with animals and general biology, this is still fucking crazy to me
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@ains_rose
You know for a good portion of my life I actually thought that was what a condom looked like
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The most evil girl you know is using :3
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Why do you as a man have full kissable lips
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"Me and who" I say while knowing exactly who
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@IAmTarrell
Tbh I actually disagree. I think it's fun for him to show a tiny bit of pain and annoyance. Not like it's gonna do any sort of real damage.
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The most attractive thing anyone can be is to be funny on twitter
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Why are people so obsessed with bloodlines
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@KylePlantEmoji
So many people are totally missing the point oof
I understand the joke Mr. Plant
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My depravity just hanging there in the void unanswered
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I hope you don't get any fuckin cookies ever again
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Hey quick question have you tried being fucking normal
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Im not gonna killy myself or anything but if I was on a plane going down I wouldn't scream if that makes sense
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Sorry I'm bad at replying I was busy doing absolutely nothing
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The world was better when things were doohickeys
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Just saw a pickup truck with balls on the back but they were colored like the trans flag
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You could fit so many cuck chairs up there
One of my least-liked design elements of suburban design is this inaccessible landing I see in foyers.
Any creative solutions for "staging" it out there?
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Oh you're into blue collar guys? Well what do you think of this 😏
(Slowly takes off my dirty glove to reveal my wrist tanline)
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Man avoids the gay stairs by doing the gayest thing ever
Man climbs up railing to avoid using WOKE stairs
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When you ask her if it's big and she says "it's perfect"
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Pegging someone after feeding them this is insane
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If you can't commit to the bit you don't deserve to fw a goofy guy
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You'll never guess the name of this creature
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I don't have 4 good pics of myself fuck off
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@jasminericegirl
Sometimes with dudes you gotta play the game of "pick-up line or death threat"
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I'm on a mission to block every single advertiser except chiitan
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I want one of these stupid little things so bad
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I would never share my intrusive thoughts with a single soul no matter how much I trusted them
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Ok everyone stop looking at me now
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Where are all my peculiar looking bitches at?
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Can I come over and do this
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Fellas is it gay to put shoes on
I figured out why the new Superman image seems off. Because it's an effeminate pose.
It's not a good pose for a man that's supposed to be the strongest man in the universe. 🤨🤔
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This mf shlorpin
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