Tim Profile Banner
Tim Profile
Tim

@Englishman1974

Followers
782
Following
822
Media
69
Statuses
374

Heartbroken Widower, Late diagnosis of Stage 4 bowl Cancer, Dad & Mum to 2 amazing children, drinks Coffee and Whiskey often. Occasionally rides a MTB

Rossendale
Joined June 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Really struggling today as it should have been Jill’s 44th birthday and our 18th wedding anniversary. Thought I was doing ok till this popped up 🥲
Tweet media one
160
8
2K
@Englishman1974
Tim
7 months
Less than 24hrs and another year without you. I’m tired of this life. Tired of being lonely. That’s all 😢
92
4
793
@Englishman1974
Tim
4 months
Never felt as tired or as lonely as I do now. Having said that I can’t bear to be around anyone at present. Going to go to the Lake District for a few days on my own (in-laws having the kids). I hope I feel better afterwards or I definitely don’t know what to do.
83
6
573
51 weeks today. This time last year we knew our time together was running out. Our family dynamic has been changed forever. Totally and truly heartbroken 😭
24
5
363
You know what, this widow shit is so bloody lonely. Not had a proper adult conversation since last Sunday. #grief #widow
24
2
272
Really missing my best friend and Wife today. Don’t know why but can’t stop crying. Grief is Shit. Cancer can go and FUCK itself 😢😢😢
30
5
256
@Englishman1974
Tim
9 months
2 years since we said our goodbyes and our lives fell apart. We are trying to live our best lives buts it hard. Miss you everyday 😢.
5
1
106
Feeling incredibly low at the moment. No anniversaries or significant dates coming up so don’t know why. This grief shit is just the gift that keeps giving. #Grief
14
0
81
@Englishman1974
Tim
3 months
Any other widows feel guilty when something good happens? Not sure if I’m ready for this next phase of my life or willing to accept the help.
23
1
72
Anyone else have little or no joy in anything they do anymore. I know everyone will tell me it’s early days or give it time. Just can’t seem to shake this miserable grey life. #Grief
18
1
70
Off to give blood 🩸 today. After my wife received so much during her treatment, she told me that I had better give it all back. #giveblood
Tweet media one
5
5
61
I should be excited as I’ve been offered a new job that I applied for. I can make childcare work and the commute is only 20 minutes. I still just feel numb, can’t see me ever being truly happy again like we were 😢 #Grief #fuckcancer
9
0
58
@Englishman1974
Tim
4 months
Had a good break in the Lake District. Recharged the batteries with lots of rest and fresh air. Still struggling to shake this immense sadness though. Not sure what to do next with my life. The loneliness is almost too much sometimes.
7
0
51
@Englishman1974
Tim
11 months
Another milestone missed as 11 goes to big school today. Wish you could see how smart and grown up he looks in his new uniform. Another gut punch. #thankscancer 🥲
4
0
49
18 months ago our whole world fell apart. Can’t imagine ever being happy again. Feel so miserable. Got to try and sort myself out as I think the kids are starting to notice 🥲 #fuckcancer
8
0
44
@Englishman1974
Tim
11 months
@mrscmway Hi Clare, definitely best to get it out. 663 days for me and thought I was doing ok but it should have been Jill’s 45th birthday 🎂 today and I’m finding it hard today.
2
0
43
Where has that year gone? 12 months since we said our goodbyes 😭. I so wish this pain would go away. That’s all totally broken all over again. #thankscancer
1
0
40
So induction day today for New job. Can’t deny had a little cry 😢 as my best friend isn’t here to wish me luck and tell me to smash it. Time to pull myself together and “suck it up buttercup”
9
0
35
@clarecanino @jeremycorbyn Integrity 🤣 he’s been best buddies with IRA terrorists for years. Don’t make me laugh
3
0
27
Presents 🎁 wrapped, ready for the morning. Can’t believe how hard this build up to Christmas has been. Time for a quick drink🥃 before bed. Even with the bestest of friends how I can I feel this lonely 🥲 #Grief
2
0
27
14 is 15 today 🎂. Another day and another gut punch. These days are the hardest. It shouldn’t be like this. I’m sure there will be more tears before bedtime 🥲
2
0
26
Decided to book myself in for Tattoo. Tuesday will be another tough day as it will be in memory of Jill. Will post again once I have it. Hope it doesn’t hurt 😱 #Grief #tattoos
4
1
25
@Englishman1974
Tim
10 months
Donating another pint of the🩸red stuff. That’s 14 now. Promise kept babes, will keep donating as long as I can. #savealifegiveblood #BloodDonation
0
0
25
@Englishman1974
Tim
6 months
Not had the best of days. Just wish you were here so I could tell you 🥲
2
0
24
They were selling these at registration at rugby this morning. Why is it the little things that knock you for six every single day. Feel so tired and lonely #Grief
Tweet media one
0
0
20
I feel so overwhelmed by all the support on here. I don’t usually tweet unless I’m sad and upset but today I walked into a new company with the love and support of some truly lovely people. Ps. My 1st day went well 👍🏻
0
0
21
So proud of OUR Daughter today @prettymuddyMMR with Our 2nd family Russell and Russell solicitors who have raised over £5500 in memory of my wife. Team JAH
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
0
0
16
9 is 10 today. It’s not meant to be like this. I can’t imagine what he must be feeling. A few tears have been shed 😭 and I’m sure there’s more to come before bedtime.
1
0
14
@aidandoylephoto @gmpolice Just a quick poll. How many people could we get that willing to help this guy get his back? Bit like a flash mob 🤣
1
0
13
@Englishman1974
Tim
4 months
Arthur’s Pike overlooking Ullswater. Hopefully a couple of days with fresh air and views like these and I may start to have a better outlook #thankscancer
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
2
0
13
@JohnnyMercerUK @LukePollard Great to see @JohnnyMercerUK and @LukePollard working together instead of against each other. All MP’s take note you don’t need to constantly point score. It’s not helping anyone
0
0
13
Didn’t cry on Saturday all day (only had 4 of these in last 18 weeks) probably not got any tears left after a n emotional Friday. Made my 1st Sunday roast but started crying again after, 14 not happy 9 said it’s ok I understand. Absolutely heartbroken 💔
3
0
13
Just booked my next appointment. It will be 26 weeks / half a year since my wife passed away. Hoping I don’t shed a tear at this one like I have at the others. I’m ok till the amazing staff ask “so why did you decide to donate today” also noticed my tweet on the give blood app 😢
0
0
13
@DevonCowlsy @StLukesPlymouth I’m so sorry to here this Ali. Having been in your shoes almost 46 weeks ago, all can say is take care of yourself as much as possible. I know my own health deteriorated the first few weeks. Sending hugs
0
0
11
@rickygervais After my wife passed away and people ask how I feel. I ask if they have watched AL as I feel exactly like Tony. Would like to say a big big Thank you for an amazing series. Maybe one day Me and Tony may find the happiness we deserve 😢
1
0
12
@MENnewsdesk Andy Burnham fucked up Liverpool went in to lockdown rather than arguing and they are now in Tier 2 🤦🏼‍♂️ let’s blame the government though
4
0
12
Another pint🩸donated. Promise kept babes. Will keep donating as long as I can. Apparently I have good veins so let the trainee practice, told them glad it wasn’t you as yours were the worse and you told the newbie doctor that if he missed, you wouldn’t 👊🏻 as you’d had enough 🤣
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
5
1
10
Another pint donated babes as promised. 26 weeks and it’s not getting getting any easier #donateblood #fuckcancer
Tweet media one
0
0
11
@grievingdadmd I friend once told me “we are not single parents we are solo parents “ the majority of single parents have every other weekend free of the kids, we don’t. You’ve got this don’t be too hard on yourself.
1
0
10
Tweet media one
0
0
9
@itisEyelaClaire This is ours
Tweet media one
3
0
9
@muggleplantmom The phrase you look tired. Yes I am tired of feeling lonely, tired of trying to hide my true feelings, tired of putting a brave face on, yes I look tired because I’m exhausted 🥲
0
0
9
@CherryMorrello @TheChristieNHS Morning Cherry, when I had to do the same dreaded waiting time for my Wife I went to @maggiesmanc just over the road. Comfy chairs, free coffee and amazing advice if you choose to accept which is not pressured. Sending ❤️
2
0
10
@Iamlistening666 @mikegalsworthy Police are supposed to police with consent what the actual fuck. So your protesting about horrific crimes and the person who has committed these can say I don’t consent. Everybody likes the Police until they are the ones being policed 😱
1
1
10
@TBerry924 I worked shifts when my wife passed away so had to leave all my work friends soon after. Glad you can have those conversations as I miss that work chat and coming home talking about my day.
0
0
9
Immediate Living Wage Benefit for Cancer Patients & free Dental/Opticians for 5 years. - Sign the Petition! via @UKChange
0
2
8
Decided to build a homemade Rocket 🚀 for science homework
0
0
9
So 10 pints of Blood 🩸 down. Great staff as always at @NHSBT Manchester team, very hot very busy but always a smile. Love you Jilly 🥲
1
0
8
@Bikery1966 @gazzabiker This is so true, just take your foot off the accelerator and coast to the lights / junction.
1
0
8
Made it all the way to Spookywood and back on the red route. Not bad for his first visit to a proper trail centre.
Tweet media one
0
0
8
Big jump at the end from the little fella 😱
Tweet media one
0
0
6
@thepartypope Me and my wife had a pair of these 20 plus years ago. She thought it was the coolest Christmas present even though many people laughed. How I wish I could turn back the clock and hold hands 1 more time.
Tweet media one
0
1
6
@MikeyCycling You can’t catch them all. Stay safe, looking forward to the clips on YouTube 👍🏻
0
0
6
@ajscubamorris Allie, We all have those days, my last one was on Tuesday. I’m in exactly the same position and I have no words to give or help you. Just do what YOU feel is right and sod everyone else, true friends will accept you ignoring them or needing them when you call. Sending hugs
2
0
6
@TBerry924 Thinking these emotions were felt by many yesterday including myself. Sending love and hugs
0
0
5
@MTBTalk Definitely get out m, who needs a sledge? #goatmtb #MTBTalk #mtblife
0
0
5
@Englishman1974
Tim
6 months
@loveintimesofc2 It’s not a silly “thing” to highlight. We are not single parents though. A friend told me this is solo parenting. The majority of single parents get a weekend or maybe an evening where the other single parent takes responsibility.
1
0
4
Never one to complain though,always happy with every nurse. Still can’t process that your not here. #fuckcancer
0
0
4
@Tomasrhys1 @Absolutemtb1 I’ve got a Mammut messenger bag absolutely amazing and looks just as good even if not on a bike. @mammut
2
0
4
@Absolutemtb1 @UKMTB_Chat @YetiCycles Where I’m 46 and can’t jump off a pavement. The seats to small and it’s not got any gears it’s a No from me. It’s not that I don’t like it just no point me having it 😥
1
0
4
Great day out at @SaleSharksRugby today against a very good @BristolBears . Few extra Christmas presents bought from the very helpful staff in the club shop as well 👍🏻
0
0
3
@emilyrussell30 Some days are harder than others, sometimes the little things will make you smile and laugh. Enjoy every moment they are why you loved each other so much. Have a wonderful day.
0
0
4
@dados_ponytail Sorry to hear this Rob. Lost my wife 6 weeks and 1 day ago and remember that news it really was devastating to hear. Diagnosis to my wife passing was less than 8 months. Good luck 🤞🏻
1
0
2
@rachelteale We are all still here Rachel. I’m in Rossendale if you ever want a coffee and a chat.
2
0
4
@grayomtb @Absolutemtb1 And the Sun ☀️ has even come out to play.
1
0
4
@refugeingrief One word DIFFERENT. Different to everything I used to know life to be nothing is ever the same. Eating, sleeping, laughing if I remember what that was 😢
0
0
4
@rachelteale @TBerry924 @RichardEGrant @OliviaGranted Same here, second Christmas for us. Had so many offers last year of help to put up tree 🎄and help with the kids. Not so this year, starting to think year 2 is the worse.
2
0
3
@Absolutemtb1 @UKMTB_Chat @StoneyMTBCoach @GemmaGermains The pods are great sleeps 3 and 4 if you want to be cosy. Literally a 1 min ride to trails and they allow camp fires.
Tweet media one
0
0
3
@alip1000 @UKMTB_Chat @TotalMTB_ @Absolutemtb1 Orange clockwork but it has to be orange @orangebikes @BrewDog has a matching beer
Tweet media one
0
0
3
@mester841 @J_skupski @sandywinder @MichaelCaleigh @cbell_his1 @BBCNews France is the same as the UK 🤣 what map have you been looking at
1
0
2
Fun day out at Leeds Urban Bike Park yesterday. Something for all the family with kids on balance bikes to forty something blokes with all the gear and no idea 🤣
0
0
3
@thisladywill @grieflosscafe Thanks Jane, it was so nice to talk to someone who listens and actually understands. Hopefully we can catch up soon
2
0
3
@MTBTalk Will be tomorrow for me as father duties Lego building 🤣
1
1
2
@PaddyMcGuinness Family holiday with kids club? How do you have a family holiday when you farm your kids out to strangers?
7
0
3
@Englishman1974
Tim
10 months
@grievingdadmd I had to leave my job as it was on shifts and couldn’t make it work around childcare. I had a few jobs trying different paths and different levels of responsibility and hated them. Luckily I found a role I wanted took although it took me 20 months.
1
0
3
@TBerry924 I still wear my wedding ring. I lost the original (matching platinum rings)in the sea years ago. Wasn’t even bothered when I told her and I was bricking it telling her.
0
0
2
@Rykisko1anonly There will be, we’re just waiting for your road fund licence fee to pay for it 🤣
0
0
3
@JustinBowen71 This is something I couldn’t comprehend with 9, One minute we are sat crying and cuddling on the sofa then he’s laughing at something on YouTube and I’m still crying on the sofa. My counselling helped immensely to understand how children deal differently with grief. Sending love
0
0
3
@RhubarbRhubar10 100% but the cargo net was always a test trying to get back up. Spent 4 years on D88 living in 3Q *ZOO* if you know you know 🤣
0
0
2
@MENnewsdesk Course it wasn’t 😂
0
0
1
@Priceyt @Absolutemtb1 @helsmels701 I had this as a screen saver at work until told to remove it 🤣
0
0
2
@UKBanterMemes Make way for The Queens Guard 💂‍♀️ 🤣
0
0
2
@TotalMTB_ @MTBTalk Definitely on the @Strava line there 🤣
0
0
1
@kevdavies63 This is one of life’s best moments watching your child learn to ride, every child should learn to ride.
0
0
2
@Absolutemtb1 Just a quick hour as need to spend time with Family today.
Tweet media one
1
0
2
@24admeaa @clare_mtb It was super dry when we where there
1
0
2
@ladbible 1. Ricky Gervais 2. Jimmy Carr 3. Frankie Boyle But then I do like abit of political correctness in my comedy 🤣
0
0
2
@grayomtb @alip1000 @Absolutemtb1 @UKMTB_Chat @TotalMTB_ @uw_antony Was looking at the EVoC pro are they any good as they are on the expensive side?
1
0
2
@OOTfirebobby @salukiboo @Keir_Starmer @AndyBurnhamGM @TracyBrabin @DanJarvisMP If the new minimum wage was £15 what would everyone on £15 now earn or are you just putting everyone on minimum wage?
0
0
2
@helenfgale I really hope so Helen 😢
0
0
2
2
1
2
@grayomtb @Absolutemtb1 @UKMTB_Chat That’s right arms straight heels down 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
1
0
2
@shitscaredmum I’m so sorry 😢. It was also Jill’s wish that I had to give blood 🩸 as often as I could as she received so much during her treatment. Sending love and hugs
0
0
2
Labour Activist Hilariously Supports Diane Abbott for Labour Leader and ... via @YouTube
0
0
0
@JadeC31 @DeakinSqueakin @mikegalsworthy Totally agree, if people won’t follow the rules of not mixing and wearing face coverings it doesn’t matter who’s in charge.
2
0
2
@maggiesmanc Popped in a few times whilst waiting for my wife whilst having chemo. Laughed, cried, talked if and when I wanted. Such an amazing place.
0
0
2
@clare_mtb @G1DAN__ Wales bike park would be epic in the summer 😀
1
0
2
@Englishman1974
Tim
10 months
@HandbookWidows @cricketwidow17 I judged myself a lot and still do, but not so much now. It’s 22 months since I lost my wife and I still wonder if I’m a good widower. Everything changed when Jill died as I had to leave a job I loved aswell. Slowly accepting this is our life now.
0
0
2