Parker
@gardenstparker
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Following
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415
Statuses
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21 || he/him || writer || nj || ask me about the nonbinary lesbian werewolf goalie movie || new jersey devils + milwaukee admirals for @offsidenewsco
overpass, screaming @ the cars
Joined May 2019
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Pinned Tweet
"who's magnus chrona?" "who's yaroslav askarov?" why, i'm glad you asked ⬇️⬇️⬇️
@offsidenewsco
Let’s celebrate Pride Month by paying tribute to some of the campiest names in the minors.
Read our
#AHL
listicle here:
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as long as the hockey romance girlies are blatantly disregarding the boundaries of realism, can we get one where the goalie scores a hat trick
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famous black sheep of the nhl, the toronto maple leafs
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@b4duism
Everyone’s like “I’d be so embarrassed if I was Charlie’s gf in this scene” if I was that deeply obsessed with a freshman as a senior I would’ve been embarrassed LONG before this
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Did we ever find out *why* Harry Styles was golfing with the Carolina Hurricanes?
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Tweets I had to stare at for a second before realizing they weren’t about hockey…
quinn giving birth while vocal adrenaline performs bohemian rhapsody you will ALWAYS be famous
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@milfdredratched
lmao @ the replies "but they weren't married" she got served w custody papers bc they have 2 kids
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@ethandnormandy
@b4duism
The older I get the more I side eye the whole group, not that 18yr olds are fully mature but they all took an extremely isolated and traumatized kid “under their wing” only to completely cast him out the moment he fucked up (and only let him back in when he got beat up for them)
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I love “you don’t know puck” as synecdoche for “you don’t understand hockey” because out of all of the components of hockey, the puck is BY FAR the easiest to understand
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@chromegnomes
@maidensblade
Generally I don’t agree with anything referring to Tumblr in the past tense but the spirit of this tweet remains more true than ever so you get a pass
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Idc about Jack Hughes’s Goodreads, where’s his letterboxd. Has he seen Bottoms (2023).
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@nateismfof
@iDKHOW
Well it was certainly a strange member departure situation so I think it fits
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bonus if the goalie isn't the main love interest he's just magic
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I feel a little weird whenever I see someone calling anyone besides Roman Josi the sexiest captain in the league but also I get it because Roman Josi is so sexy that it almost feels like he doesn’t count
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I don’t think any specific nhlers are secretly gay but I know which ones are straight beyond a shadow of a doubt
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Everything is hockey except hockey which is international politics
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the way people were laser focused on the class divide between nursey and dex and completely ignored race so that they could pretend nursey had never had a problem ever while dex's life was in danger from, like, having to share a room with someone as a college student was annoying
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@michaelhoIden
i was such a hashtag recastjace girlie at the time but looking back i'm glad they didn't, truly nothing more jace than this
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@ItsKennyAgain
Had a friend from camp named Sigourney but they were probably named after her
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Actually you know what yeah let’s fuckin talk about hair diversity in hockey
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@gossipbabies
hypersexuality is not infidelity in that those technically mean different things but infidelity is infidelity even if you have adhd or are hypersexual (which are also two different things)
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@obiwormkenobi
+an interaction that was basically like
her: do you have pronouns
me: not at work but thanks for asking
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@capsboybebop
same energy as them being like "this is the 6th anniversary of rempe's father's death" while he was stripping down in the penalty box
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@cuntyjackhughes
Apparently when it first came out all the harries were freaking out trying to figure out who they were lol
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@MCMiloTG
@ethandnormandy
@b4duism
You’re right but my point is that he had to put himself in a dangerous situation for people who had been ignoring him for weeks at that point in order for them to acknowledge him again
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@matildae22
From my perspective if there was any class based messaging it was “rich people are raised to be soulless/uncaring and upper middle class people will assimilate into that ideal at the earliest opportunity”
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@obiwormkenobi
i'm a summer camp counselor and last year we had this mom that we loved for being a lesbian but hated for how she would try and drop her kid off in ways that violated our policies (like in the middle of a field trip that the kid wasn't signed up for) and one day at pickup we had+
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Remember when someone super seriously and angrily called him a freak. Thinking his fans were going to what, disagree?
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@stephan13leigh
@enby_raccoon1
@gr4ve_r4ve
@themooninjuly
if mary elizabeth had literally paid any attention at all to charlie at any point she would've realized way before this scene that he wasn't into her
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@oo4718oo
@obiwormkenobi
i'm over 18 and she was at least 40 and i love seeing other queer people out and about but we knew each other solely in a professional capacity if you want to judge go ahead idc
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@christress
obviously like 90% of the problems evangelicals tell ppl to "find god" for have much better solutions but yeah no these specific people need to find god
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@l0ldani
All this is doing is making me realize how much less attractive I would find Nico Hischier if his name was actually Justin
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@theoceanblooms
Saw this in relation to the fact that he made an instagram post for his dead dog… he got help now it’s the rest of y’all’s turn
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@yourfriendmags
@badwolftx
@MxKantEven
@astrophisacist
If one partner holds privilege over the other on one of those axes and makes more money as a result then they’re paying more of the bills too?
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@AltruisticFella
I hate to say it but the scene where the main character realizes he’s in love with the friend while they’re all actively onstage doing romeo & juliet kind of ate… very bare: a pop opera
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stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop calling him that stop it!!!!!!
“He’ll be Top 5 in no time if he ain’t already there”
Is Wifi in your Top 5 for NHL enforcers?
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@lingerie_addict
The only time I ever used Grammarly was when it was integrated into a 3rd party tool we’d been instructed to use to outline a research paper and one time it was literally like “you typed [correctly spelled surname in a citation], did you mean [ethnic slur]?”
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Gay people with a certain level of fame are either out or in the closet they’re not jokingly dropping hints lmao
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@kgleeb
Apparently they wanted it to be Sebastian Smythe but Grant Gustin was too busy w The Flash 😭
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@compIetemessrry
@taIesofbasingse
yeah like there's a lot to criticize besides his identity like either like him or don't, stop making consumption political
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@rhyslade
They literally made one guy in the band actually wrinkly (and not even that wrinkly tbh) and then just changed everyone else’s hair
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@stephan13leigh
@enby_raccoon1
@gr4ve_r4ve
@themooninjuly
an 18 year old tells a 15 year old to kiss the prettiest girl in the room (where everyone else is an 18 year old)
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@43huggy
hottest team in the league!!!! but normally when i say that people are like oh are you a big preds fan and i'm like no i just have eyes
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@turntineforwhat
There was a romangerri fic where the wife died in a car crash and roman became a single dad 😭
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THIS!!! ted lasso GETS IT!!!
every scene from ted lasso that goes viral on twitter is like a bunch of guys in a locker room going “taking naked pictures of lasses without their consent and sendin’ em to her da in the mail in’t very smashing, mate.” and all the comments are like “THIS!!! ted lasso GETS IT!!!”
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@J3M1LYS
Malec from the mortal instruments books (like, before the show came out) (show!malec outsold tho even tho one of them couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag)
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i wouldn't give swayman 10 million dollars but i also wouldn't orchestrate a scenario that leads to swayman asking for 10 million dollars so if swayman ends up getting 10 million dollars you're not gonna hear any complaints from me.
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I don’t understand people who complain about players on teams they don’t like being bad. Players on teams I don’t like being bad is my ideal state of affairs.
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@ALICEINAMPHIBIA
If you think your room is going to be actively searched it’s worth it to consider hiding things outside of it, like if your basement or somewhere like that has a million boxes no one ever goes thru it’ll be easy and safe enough to add one more
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@yanoforsure
Some things require much more discussion than just yes or no and inviting several other participants is one of them
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@zipppyyy2
@Madeline_Pine
(Assuming this is in response to SAB) my thing is, if you make a character a different ethnicity in an adaptation than they were in the source material and can’t think of how that would affect their experience/identity beyond “people call her slurs now,” maybe just... don’t
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@anylaurie16
Someone in my family made a comment to me at 12 or 13 that as soon as I started to drive I’d be on the hook for the insurance + the only thing within like 20 miles that was both interesting and non-walkable was WELL served by public transportation + covid hit when I was 17
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@BudrykZack
all the dead poets society actors went to nyc in the middle of filming because three of them were going for the same role, who do you think got it
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Sending love to anyone on devilstwt (actually all of hockeytwt) that’s ever been hurt by a creep, I believe you and stand with you and fuck em!!
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mcdavid is a legend but that doesn't mean anyone is like morally obliged to root for him lol, do you know how sports work
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@legotrillermoth
@Srirachachau
she uses her real voice in emma. (2020), in which she plays a regency era orphan
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@oo4718oo
@obiwormkenobi
i'm not immediately becoming besties w every lgbt person i see it's just that as a v visibly gender nonconforming childcare worker in this current political climate it's reassuring to encounter a parent that i can reasonably assume will be on my side should shit hit the fan
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askarov joining kochetkov in carolina would go crazy... "no touch my guys" meets *clearly going for some sort of guy-touching world record*
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@drouinsbf
Ok I went and looked it up and this author seems to make a point of having disabled protagonists in her romances so points for that, I’m on her side
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As someone 7% in (point and laugh at me if you want, i didn’t pay for it and I know what im getting into) what wikipedia leaves out is that every character is annoying as hell and every hint at jude’s trauma so far is roughly as subtle as mickey mouse doing this 🔽
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@admbeaumont
I think the bruins just have a critical mass of guys willing to look silly on the internet
Like at first I was like what does the bruins admin have on brad marchand but now I think it’s more a question of what brad marchand has on the bruins admin
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@suleikhasnyder
I thought it was grove-ner but that’s just based off what I think they’re saying on bridgerton lol
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@vanjchan
If the First Readers are all college students who does he think the magazine’s intended audience is
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@ljoseghine
i think there's a perception that teenage female devils fans picked the team based on player attractiveness but like as a teenage female fan of anything playing into that kind of attitude is not going to serve you in the long run!! or the short run either honestly!!
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@RDD_7
@torqpenderloin
In one tweet you have perfectly distilled a journey that so many have walked before you…
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@Lenoxmst
my only issue with this is if he really wants to be president he shouldn't be like "lower the age requirement so i can do it now" he should be like "let me get some political experience now at a lower level so that when i reach the age requirement i'll be ready"
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Why was he not on riverdale playing a character named something stupid like chicken pot pie
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@laurenrules335
@milfdredratched
that's fair, tbh their relationship timeline was kind of weird in multiple ways. i mainly just wanted to explain that they were custody papers not divorce papers
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