Suleikha Snyder
@suleikhasnyder
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Ribald romance writer. Author of BIG BAD WOLF & TIKKA CHANCE ON ME. Thirsty bi spinster. Part-time Bengali tigress. Tip jar:
Chicago, IL
Joined July 2010
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I saw someone actually say this man is not hot enough to play Gambit and here is a 9-second essay on why they are incorrect.
louis saying “i’ll let you reload” it was delicious. probably the hottest any man has ever been
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A fun part of being Gen X is rewatching all the movies we loved as kids and then realizing 85 percent of them were completely inappropriate for kids.
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I read a line like “she was nude beneath her clothes” and I can’t stop thinking about it. What else would you be under your clothes? Even more clothed? Like an infinite number of shirts? Everybody is naked under their clothes.
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What’s becoming increasingly clear is that it isn’t called fascism until it impacts white people.
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People really think Ryan Gosling and John Cena were forced into/humiliated by their Oscar ceremony contributions and those people are ridiculous and don't understand these guys at ALL. They are showmen. They are performers. They wouldn't do these things if they weren't all in.
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Anyone who thinks romance novels have unrealistic plots should know that I am 44 and super cute and have never been in a relationship. I don't even date. I've been in the intro chapter of my rom-com for decades. So, yeah, older heroines with little experience DO exist.
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I'm delighted by Pence getting booed at
#Hamilton
, considering how much of Broadway he wants to subject to electroshock conversion therapy.
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I want one of my fellow South Asian authors to pen a cozy mystery series starring elderly desi aunties. Think of the punny title possibilities! CHAI AND PUNISHMENT. CHAAT THROUGH THE HEART. MASALA MOST FOUL.
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Where do I sign up to be so oppressed that I’m mega-rich, have my own imprint, and use a team of ghostwriters? Please, please, oppress me like that. Marginalize me on several shelves in the bookstore and library, I beg of you.
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When you’re not quite ready to say you’re bisexual or pan, you’re a…
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This Mike Richards dude probably getting the JEOPARDY gig is a great example of when a company goes through the motions of interviewing diverse candidates and then just promotes a white person internally like they were planning to do all along.
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You know why YA fiction sales are in decline? A) B&N stopped stocking a lot of it and B) they're too fucking expensive in hardcover for young adults.
With young adult fiction the only major category posting a decline, unit sales of print books increased 4.2% in the week ended Mar. 11, 2023, over the comparable week in 2022, at outlets that report to Circana BookScan.
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Romance writers and editors, I beg of you, learn the word “placket.” That is where buttons or zippers go on trousers. A “placard” on one’s breeches would be a sign saying “it’s not gonna suck itself.”
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You know one reason why we call out harmful rep so loudly and frequently? It's not because we're mean. It's because this stuff *normalizes* Othering us. To the point where these depictions of us are considered more believable than what we write about ourselves.
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I would like a movie where Chris Pine and Pedro Pascal are part of a single fathers’ support group and they decide to co-parent their kids together. And they could fall in love with other people OR each other! And there are tons of scenes of them hot dadding hotly.
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This reads like the back cover copy of a monster-fucking romance.
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Okay, which one of you is writing me this romance novel?
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I'm starting to develop a theory. And it is that Christian Slater and Leonardo DiCaprio represent the actual cut-off line between Gen X and Millennial. Because I was a smidge too old to get swoon-y over R+J and TITANIC. Clearly this is anecdotal data, but I'm going with it.
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Instead of the umpteenth Austen adaptation or LITTLE WOMEN remake, can a gal get THE WITCH OF BLACKBIRD POND? With 200 percent more kissing than the book? I don't ask for much.
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There’s a bullshit op-ed going around about getting “addicted” to antidepressants. What’s the alternative? Being addicted to misery? Fuck that. That book I just finished? It would not have gotten done without going on meds. Meds have saved my life. They save countless lives.
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You know that super toxic bullshit about how “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”? Tater tots. Tater tots taste way better than skinny feels.
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Oh. Hey. Now that BRIDGERTON is the most successful Netflix show ever, can they acquire some romance properties that have Black people in them already?
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I am so demoralized by how we began with the most diverse Democratic primary slate of my lifetime and still ended up where we always do: with an old white man.
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For my birthday, here is my wish: Start reading a book by an author of color. Buy it, get it from the library, borrow it from a friend...I don’t care. Support a BIPOC author and their work. And ENJOY it. It’s not homework. It’s a gift.
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I join everybody in WTFing over the HUNGER GAMES spin-off. Of ALL the characters you could choose to publish a new series about...you pick the fascist white dude, Suzanne Collins? Like we need an origin story for a fascist white dude? Have you SEEN the world right now?
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Have we thought about turning libraries into gaming hells owned by dissolute and disillusioned rakes who were raised in the rookeries after their duke father secretly wed but abandoned their actress mother, who then died tragically because of gin and tuberculosis?
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I have no idea why Boomers kept telling younger Gen X and older Millennials that we’d get more conservative as we aged. We were radicalized by NEWSIES.
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Cleansing the TL and dirtying the mind with Oscar Isaac.
::bites knuckles::
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Rule no. 1 of reading historical romance: Never think about if they’ve bathed or not.
This thought has been sponsored by a blowjob in a cell at Newgate.
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Blessing your timelines with Oscar Isaac and Carrie Fisher. ❤️
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Paranormal romance writers know he’s a bear shifter who just recognized his fated mate. 😂 Sorry, ma’am, that’s your husbear now.
Oh. my. goodness. She’s a rock.
I want this girl in my foxhole...
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Sting as a solo artist.
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Just caught myself muttering “I’m going to keep reading romance novels until I stop wanting to die” as I reached for my Kindle and oh hello my lifelong coping mechanism.
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Can we make 2019 the year where nobody goes "Have you tried...?" to somebody with a chronic mental or physical illness? Is that too much to ask? Jesus fucking Christ with Vishnu as a sidekick. Get a clue, people.
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Men insisting that IDing as trans is a way to gain access to, and assault, women tells us more about those men than it does trans people.
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I have to say it. Just to get it off my chest. It wasn’t butter. It was margarine. Pam was margarinizing Jorts.
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Could we please circulate an international memo clarifying that "Hallelujah" is a song about a relationship gone horribly wrong and not a wedding song or an inspirational anthem?
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You know what we called Indian food in my house growing up? Food.
“help my delicate (white) child ate indian food” is just an incredible thing to type out and send off for advice
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I love how romance readers and writers can ID a “someone definitely croaks in this” movie immediately. 😂 We are always on guard. My TL had the Bat signal up.
First poster for ‘WE LIVE IN TIME’, a R-rated rom-com starring Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh.
Trailer releases tomorrow.
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Looks like the werewolf is finally out of the bag! I have a PNR series coming out with
@SourcebooksCasa
in 2021. Bad lawyering, danger-boning, and bears, oh my! Thank you to
@millercallihan
and
@CatClyne
for helping bring my bonkers romantic suspense books to all of you! 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
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We've devoted a lot of airtime to a white male scammer taking advantage of RWA's inherent structural weaknesses. I want to take a minute to love on some books by fierce WOC who've been been hurt or overlooked due to RWA's practices. Here's a positive Thready McThreaderson!
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You're not scared of writing POC. You're scared of POC. That we're going to expect you to live up to the standards we've always had to meet.
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Obligatory reminder that Cinco de Mayo isn't:
1. Mexican Independence Day
2. An excuse to drink margaritas
3. Your pass to wear a sombrero
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Kylo Ren is a poster boy for toxic masculinity (and, oh, A PATRICIDAL MASS MURDERER), and it galls me that so many people came out of THE LAST JEDI not just adoring him but actively 'shipping him with Rey.
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I feel like I say this any time some white dude kills POC and gets cuddled after, but I have mental health issues and have never killed anyone. I’ve had so many bad days, and I’ve never killed anyone. The only people who get to use those excuses for violence are white men.
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People are becoming so hypervigilant about everyone social distancing now, it’s like, “I saw Goody Procter in the woods, consorting with the Devil—and they weren’t six feet apart!”
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As someone who spent the years around my paperback debut suicidally depressed, cycling through five different meds, and frequently drunk—but somehow never sabotaged anyone—I call extreme bullshit. This fauxpology needed a dev edit and some margin notes.
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Here's the thing: You can dislike Courtney Milan and/or have had beef with her and STILL recognize that what was done here by RWA was bullshit. If your butthurt about that one time she hurt your feelings is more important than systemic bias in RWA, that's a YOU problem.
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but I am not trying to escape the cage of my brownness via writing romance novels, nor are my characters trying to escape that cage. I'm trying to celebrate my brownness. And to share it with readers.
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This entire debacle began because folks were like "Hey, Suzan Tisdale! You hired Sue Grimshaw, a Known Racist. Maybe don't do that?" And instead of being like, "Oh, my bad! Fixing it!" her response was "How dare you? Some of my best friends are racist!" And now here we are.
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Wow. WOW. "We're committed to support and advocacy, but y'all still need to shut up" is an interesting approach.
New RWA statement has dropped. Check your inboxes, darlings.
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Every time people are surprised that Rage Against the Machine and Tom Morello are deeply political, I wonder what machine they thought was being raged against? The microwave? They furiously demand you make tea with a kettle?
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There's only one proper answer to this question as far as I'm concerned!
In your opinion, what is the best fictional duel in movie history and why did you pick Dumbledore vs Voldemort? Go!
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I did not have “Dr. Chuck Tingle confirms Damon is a lying scoundrel” on my RWA Trashfire Bingo card.
dont know much but i guess romance writers kicked out lady because she asked them to do better at proving love? but it has brought to my attention that there is scoundrel name of damons that likes attention and is saying he knows chuck for attention. i do not know him he is lying
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PSA: There is an interracial f/f Christmas movie on Netflix called A NEW YORK CHRISTMAS WEDDING. With an AfroLatinx bisexual lead. It's really sweet. And somewhat angsty. And deals with Catholicism and gay marriage. But there IS a happy ending. And also a cute doggo!
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Can romance people quit thirsting over President Zelenskyy or nah? This isn’t a TV show or a movie, FFS. Have some basic decency.
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Really disappointed the publisher didn't indicate on the cover that it's ghost-written by Steve Bannon.
#DNFTrump
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I love how all the writers on my TL are united in our sense of “Does she need help taking the corpse to the nearest pig farm?”
what do you mean he self-published her manuscript w/o permission??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE GAVE OUT COPIES????
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Thread. And I'll add one provable lie that relates to me:
Damon Suede took credit for RT Book Reviews beginning to review gay romance. I instituted that change when I began there as features editor.
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I need some of these white women writing their ~exotic~ biracial characters to do some basic genetics research. I realize blond Asian men might give you a ladyboner, Becky, but even with one white parent, odds are their hair will be dark brown. Dominant genes are a thing.
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Can't stop thinking about how RWA still can't even publicly admit what they did to Courtney Milan, much less apologize to her. But they made sure to praise a useless white man for his service.
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Some white folks think POC get ~so many deals~. They’re wrong. And also overlooking that if a book by a POC fails to earn out, it means even *fewer* deals for POC. Pubs go, “Welp. We tried.” If a white book doesn’t sell? No publisher stops acquiring more white authors.
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Wait. "Grosvenor Square" is pronounced "Grover"? This is another one of those Cholmondoley-Chumley situations? Why are the British constantly putting letters into words and not using them?! Is it like colonizing for spices and not using those?
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I hope Nick Jonas is taking note of all the smoke Joe is getting. Because if he fucks up with Priyanka, the response will be exponentially worse. The Bollywood fans alone will flay him and wear his skin like a lungi.
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It would’ve been easy for all parties concerned to profit off POC while also uplifting POC. Do “The Bridgertons Present” and have a Black author write the prequel. Have a South Asian author write about the Sharmas. But no. God forbid.
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I'm trying not to be insufferable about BIG BAD WOLF but MY FIRST PAPERBACK WITH A TRADITIONAL PUBLISHER OMG. And before I turn into a total basketcase on Tuesday, thank you to everyone who's believed in me and rooted for me over the years. I couldn't have done it without you.
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This romantic comedy should’ve been nominated, tbh.
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People keep getting caught up in the "niceness" of TED LASSO, in how it's kind and therefore lacking in conflict or tension. You know what they're missing? The tension and conflict in how kindness takes a toll. Ted's been teetering on the edge from the first ep and he WILL fall.
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They're really advertising the WEST SIDE STORY remake as "the greatest love story of all time"? It's based on Romeo & Juliet. They barely know each other. He dies. It's not even the greatest love story of the last five minutes.
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Look at this motherfucker throwing the letter X into every word like he’s JR Ward.
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I will never understand why supposed literary tastemakers and "cool" people persist in ignoring genre romance just so they can rave about the one book a year that they realized has a decent orgasm in it. For people who sneer at a sexy genre, they sure like making things hard!
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Romantic suspense skews super-white and pretty pro-cop and pro-military. Mine...is none of that. lol. So if there are outlets who'd like to talk about BIG BAD WOLF in all its brown, liberal, sexified glory, I'm here for that!
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COVID response took for-fucking-ever, but these jokers can mobilize the National Guard against protesters at the drop of a hat.
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The book where the “hero” kills a bunch of Native Americans in the prologue. While pitting Bible quotes against a Sioux holy man. Your new awards, folks. Just like the old awards.
Congratulations to Karen Witemeyer! AT LOVE’S COMMAND wins the VIVIAN for Romance with Religious or Spiritual Elements!
#RWAVivian
#RWAVivian2021
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Managing depression is like being Mad-Eye Moody. It requires CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Or you'll end up trapped in a dark hole while a monster pretends to be you.
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THOR: RAGNAROK is the bisexual blockbuster of the modern era, the long-needed companion to THE MUMMY. In this essay, I will—
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Give Jacob Anderson a glowing deck of cards and watch all the panties explode.
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Scarlett Dunn is a Kensington author. And she writes inspies...in case you didn't already know that inspirational romance is a haven for white supremacist "Christian" narratives.
No joke, just got this press release for "Cookbook for Deplorables."
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Remember: Damon Suede and Carol Ritter are out, and that feels like a victory, but RWA is STILL not trustworthy. They still have oodles of member money, still have racists in their midst, still don't know wtf they're doing.
(Link to announcement: )
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I probably lost some fans of That Show and That Author last night. 🤷🏻♀️ Here’s the thing that applies to SO many fandoms: Own what’s terrible. Admit you like a problematic thing. Instead of gaslighting everyone like “no, the villain’s just misunderstood” or “that’s not rape.”
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I just saw a guy tweeting that he wants to write romance because he “thought it would be easier,” and my brain might actually explode from the melty rage.
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Have we hit that point yet wherein “pro-life” people realize they can’t get D&Cs, will die from or be investigated for miscarriages, and they stand there with a shocked Pikachu face like “I thought they’d only ban the *slutty* abortions!”?
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I just saw something tagged as a "reverse portal fantasy" and I think we need to take the word "reverse" away from indie authors because this is getting beyond ridiculous. A portal opens in both directions. What the fuck is the reverse of that? Going nowhere?!
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For the perfect winged eyeliner.
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Tired: Assholes co-opting the Punisher for their racist bullshit.
Wired: Me writing a book where a character inspired by the Punisher hates authority and loves eating pussy.
Look for BIG BAD WOLF in January 2021!
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If you're complaining about content warnings, consider why you always ask if the dog dies. And why that's okay but warnings for violence against humans might ruin the reading or viewing experience.
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I want this romance right now. Like, you think it's going to be one of those broody dysfunctional mafia romances but, no, it's just about pizza. lol
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All these jokes about height disparity in romance, and women being tiny in comparison to male leads. But seriously. I’m 5’1 and I know absolute fuck-all about writing tall women. IDK what y’all are doing up there.
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I just misread “Nanowrimo” as “Nanocrimo,” and I assume that’s when you have 30 days to plan the perfect heist. Or you spend a month sobbing.
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I just want more romance content on TV and in movies. Tentative handholding. Finger flexes. Pining. Kisses that go on and on. That moment before and between kisses where they take a breath. A mouth pressed to the pulse of one's throat. A shirt being ripped open. GIVE IT TO ME.
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How is Janet Evanovich STILL dragging out this Stephanie-Joe-Ranger thing? It's been TWENTY-SIX BOOKS. Why are they not all banging? It's almost 2020 in the Darkest Timeline. We don't have time for this bullshit. Threesome with swords crossing or GTFO, Stephanie Plum.
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New author photos! Thanks to Chicago-based photographer and friend Elizabeth McQuern, I can finally stop using selfies for all the things.
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Woke up to the news of Johanna Lindsey's passing. 💔 SECRET FIRE was the first romance novel I ever got from the library (and got caught reading and wasn't allowed to finish...oops!). Her impact on the genre, on writers who came after, was enormous.
#RIP
#MyFirstJohanna
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As a longtime reader of it, I think dark romance should be called something else that’s not romance. Like “Deeply Fucked Up People Fucking Deeply.” Or “Erotic Thriller” or “These People Should Not Procreate.” Or “At Least They’re Not Real.”
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I mean, they could've just arrested these assholes on the way out...but what do I know?
BREAKING: A full-scale manhunt is underway for members of the mob that attacked the Capitol.
On top of the damage done inside, sources tell CBS News that a laptop possibly containing sensitive national security information was stolen.
@NorahODonnell
reports from the Capitol
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Yes, I am aware it means no underwear. You can stop replying with that. The phrase itself, however, is extremely weird when you think about it. Thank you for making me explain a clear shitpost.
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I’ve learned more American history reading Beverly Jenkins than I ever did in school. 😂
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Periodic reminder that we absolutely need Jon Bernthal in a rom-com. Preferably one where he blushes and stammers and puts his hand behind his neck as he shyly ducks his head.
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We can write scorching sexytimes AND raise money for democracy AND rip the skin off you in strips.
Romancelandia is great at multitasking.
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