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horse massacre Profile
horse massacre

@torqpenderloin

Followers
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Following
62K
Media
10K
Statuses
223K

the fifth pillar of heaven プロレス | WrestlingBrain on twitch - Mondays at 9 pm central

Chicago, IL
Joined November 2008
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
6 years
everyone’s talking about some guy. who cares.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
i dont park cars at an italian restaurant.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
i would literally retire if i got my hands on 1400 dollars.
@RawStory
Raw Story
4 years
Mitch McConnell 'concerned' people won't go back to work if they get $1,400 checks
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
6 years
could you find a worse picture of a hot dog.
@TheAVClub
The A.V. Club
6 years
Used hot-dog napkin cracks 26-year-old murder cold case (via @thetakeout)
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
every mike bloomberg ad is literally this
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
1 year
morning dinner talk: let's have fish and some vegetables for dinner.3 pm: i want 1,000 buffalo wings.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 months
i'm the guy who created all the rideshare areas at america's airports and i'm clinically insane.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
i’m not tired yet so here we are
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
arkham asylum ass website.
@realMikeLindell
Mike Lindell
2 years
I'm back!! Thank you @elonmusk and by the way MELT DOWN THE ELECTRONIC VOTING MACHINES AND TURN THEM INTO PRISON BARS!.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
1 year
the GOAT
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@Doctor1Hundred
Mark Primiano
1 year
The amount of mileage I've gotten as a doctor out of quoting Dr. Spaceman.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
Brett Kavanaugh sounds like the back up QB Wisconsin brings in against Michigan St who throws 3 consecutive picks.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 months
saw this on the wgn news and reacted like i had just seen my favorite team win a title
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
8 years
for all you mid 20s people out there Chris Cornell dying is if like. one of the people you like a lot died. like some DJ who sucks ass.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
post rock band names are out of control
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
people often ask how do you do it? how do you watch every bears game? well the answer is simple. i don't value myself at all. i have no worth as a person.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
oh it was THIS guy.
@SenatorBurr
Richard Burr
5 years
If college athletes are going to make money off their likenesses while in school, their scholarships should be treated like income. I’ll be introducing legislation that subjects scholarships given to athletes who choose to “cash in” to income taxes.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
COVID-19, BEARS-3.
@SportsCenter
SportsCenter
3 years
Bears coach Matt Nagy announced that he has tested positive for COVID-19.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
Hey idiots: if something totally different happened how would you feel? yeah that's what i thought. *leans back in chair and puts huge lit cigar in mouth backwards*.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
this is a great opportunity for Rob Manfred to finally realize his lifelong dream of cancelling Major League Baseball.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
MLB knows what its doing. You have a playoff game between two of the biggest american cities on at 1 pm local time on a work day. The two managers are 150 years old. The three broadcasters are 700 years old. This is how you get that target demo invested.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 months
joe biden is going to turkey for a hair transplant.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
I don’t wanna get ahead of myself here but Mitch Trubisky is the greatest QB in NFL history.
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@torqpenderloin
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9 months
having paul bissonette sit next to wayne gretzky is so fucked if you think about it for two seconds.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
there are 27 people at wrigley with that name today.
@BrianSandalow
Brian Sandalow
5 years
Brittany just got engaged. Hopefully. #Cubs
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
if I was vaccinated, i'd say I was vaccinated. if i was carefully curating my image but was also into homeopathic earth goddess horseshit also got covid once and thought vitamin D was the cure for everything, I'd say I was immunized.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
can't believe Melania wore this jacket to visit the border kids
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
I dont want to hurt my team by not getting vaccinated, so I will retire, hurting my team way more.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
*in tears* they. they told me it was skittles night.
@rinkside
Erin Brown
2 years
#FlaPanthers Eric Staal post-game, when told there is photographic evidence of him wearing a pride jersey in Montreal:. “I haven’t before. I never have. … I haven’t worn a pride jersey before.”. (Staal wore No. 21 with the Canadiens during the 2020-21 season.)
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@torqpenderloin
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4 years
"honey i'm gonna be on tv tonight what hat should I wear?" . "the stupidest fucking one ever made"
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
8 years
Looks offside
@Deadspin
Deadspin
8 years
We have fresh catfish
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
new Cums hat just dropped
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@torqpenderloin
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8 years
when your life is going well
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
Crazy how everyone on army is also named army.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
11 years
Your favorite team just got a steal. Wow he’s gonna be good. Definitely a star. A superstar? Hey could be. Your team rules.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
Dababy will no longer perform. We do not tolerate ignorance on the Lockheed Martin Child Vaporizer A77 Hellraiser Stage.
@lollapalooza
Lollapalooza
4 years
Lollapalooza was founded on diversity, inclusivity, respect, and love. With that in mind, DaBaby will no longer be performing at Grant Park tonight. Young Thug will now perform at 9:00pm on the Bud Light Seltzer Stage, and G Herbo will perform at 4:00pm on the T-Mobile Stage.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
6 years
i bet this dude is awesome at basketball with his tube socks pulled up over his nuts lookin ass.
@thehill
The Hill
6 years
Kavanaugh is back coaching youth basketball
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
9 years
I would give anything to be in the Simpsons writers room when they were like "Let's just go scorched earth on fuckin Australia.".
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
@ChuckCallesto good luck man. every time I try to call them I get put on hold and it takes f o r e v e r.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
8 months
the covid day was still better because there was a real chance we'd be done with this.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
8 years
@ScottWalker @Bucks @POTUS give one of these to any Bucks player I dare you.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
6 years
can’t wait to see which third tier batman villain we get next.
@ShiaKapos
Shia Kapos
6 years
.⁦@ChicagosMayor⁩ announces he will not seek re-election.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
start a racist podcast in NHL 21
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
10 months
get bent david chang
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
episode one: why i should be able to say it.
@TalkinBaseball_
Talkin’ Baseball
3 years
Joe West is starting a podcast. (h/t @umpjob)
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
tony deangelo acting like someone asked him to wear a mask.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
@Papapishu thank you dear friends. for COMING TO MY BURSSSDAYYYYY.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
my 10 year old son did an amazing drawing and so i asked him about it
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 months
fun fact time: every single person you've ever seen using this pic as their avi or whatever are using a picture i took of my tv with my phone in 2014.
@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
11 years
Is that Jack White http://t.co/m94sBgqmxT.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
Pats fans right now
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
10 months
sad to report Garrett Cooper has already accumulated more WAR in one at bat than trey mancini did the entire time he was here.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
8 years
Fun Derek Jeter fact: he wore number 2 because he loves shitting.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
alright well this is a lot. thanks for stopping by. black lives matter.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
10 years
If you don't want Kane and Toews on the cover next year maybe your stupid piece of shit hockey team should try winning something.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
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@RapSheet
Ian Rapoport
3 years
The #Ravens have hired Mike Macdonald as their new defensive coordinator.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
as someone who voted for Charles Manson in every election since 2000, today is a rough one.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
when my rich owner is able to save money by paying a player well below market value.
@Cut4
Cut4
4 years
Which moment in MLB history gives you this feeling?
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
"I have severe brain damage so i know what I'm talking about" is an amazing own
@Jeremy_Roenick
Jeremy Roenick
7 years
.@CarBombBoom13 Dan I’ve listened to u rant for a week now . But you wanna criticize our broadcasting now? It’s not our job to play doctor and diagnose concussions or how to prevent them. No teleprompter in my life! Btw I’ve had 13! I think I know what I’m talking about.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
were they.
@BlockClubCHI
Block Club Chicago
5 years
CTA riders were delighted as carolers performed "All I Want For Christmas Is You" during their commute.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
buy a bag of twizzlers and get one epic fuck
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
11 years
Is that Jack White http://t.co/m94sBgqmxT.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
what about that other guy you know the one.
@Dodgers
Los Angeles Dodgers
3 years
Your starting rotation could never.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
10 years
Fuck. Hulk hogan blocked me for threatening to powerbomb him through a comprehensive Chinese buffet.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 months
jordans and a walter jersey. just make a shota statue now.
@obvious_shirts
OBVIOUS SHIRTS®
5 months
GOAT RESPECTS GOAT. INCREDIBLE.📷: @sambernero
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
The Washington Sucking Off Troops football club.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
8 years
DONT 👏 SAY 👏 A 👏 GUY 👏 PLAYS 👏 HARD 👏 UNLESS 👏 YOU 👏 KNOW 👏 FOR 👏 A 👏 FACT 👏 HE 👏 HAS 👏 A 👏 THROBBING 👏 ERECTION 👏 THE 👏 WHOLE 👏 GAME.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
10 years
.@DAVIDMDRAIMAN OOOOH WA AH AH AH.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
INDINIA
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
chicago cops lining up to turn in their gun and badge tomorrow
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
a piece of history
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
if he's so good at it what's he doing playing baseball.
@MLBDraft
MLB Draft
3 years
With the 266th pick, the @Rockies select @HailStateBB outfielder Brad Cumbest, No. 173 on the Top 250 Draft Prospects list. Watch live:
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
10 years
The new Austin Powers movie looks like shit http://t.co/ZJX1UifjMN.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
why the FUCK did i only donate 37,000 dollars. FUCK. SHIT.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
the cubs spent cash which means Jake Marisnick must be dead.
@BleacherNation
Bleacher Nation
4 years
Cubs Acquire Outfielder Trayce Thompson from the Diamondbacks for Cash -
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
9 years
Craig Counsell checking notes after another loss to the Cubs http://t.co/TdaPVJNHOj.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
Ah my favorite team just traded for a guy. Is he any good? well here is a clip of 4-5 of the best plays he's ever made in his life if that tells you anything.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
8 years
"Basically I don't give a fuck"
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
i dont know what most of this means but lmao at this guy's fuckin face.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
aaron rodgers: it's great to be here with the New York Jets. speaking of jets and new york.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
1 year
ads are starting to cook on here let's go
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
6 years
my move is just saying “bears” to anyone who walks by.
@ChrisTannehill
Chris Tannehill
6 years
🚨🚨This Khalil Mack trade puts us on high alert for random Bears fan head nods and fist bumps at the grocery store. These are great days we're livin', bros.🚨🚨.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
probably my favorite part of watching baseball is being pissed off the entire time.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
most of us are lucky girls will even talk to us.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
my friend who works for a big tech company that pushes their employees to work themselves to death said they were promised 'a big surprise' and it was a guy playing hotel california over zoom on an acoustic guitar.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
Sir, @realDonaldTrump sir, I bought six pairs of Big Baller Brand shoes and I will light them on fire for you sir. I am committed to this country and will do whatever I can to prove it. Also can u reimburse me.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
hey if anyone in the Chicago area needs a free ride to the airport let this guy know you didn't stand for the flag
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
@davidaxelrod @Mets you're saying your favorite team is trying to win and you're mad about it. is that what i'm to believe.
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@torqpenderloin
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1 year
oh no.
@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
@NiceGuyGreatGuy @stace_ofbase any gals out there into "drowned matthew perry".
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@torqpenderloin
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7 years
@Pantagraph They're DOGS you morons.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
8 years
That it’s almost the freakin holiday weekend feeling
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@torqpenderloin
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3 years
@s8mb i hear you. the other day i poured "ranch" on my bologna sandwich and thought i was gonna die from the spice! not sure if it was the ranch or the butternut white bread but i almost called 911.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
7 years
get lost
@Deadspin
Deadspin
7 years
There are too damn many NBA jerseys:
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
2 years
everyone who tweets "hot take: this thanksgiving food is gross" has a shitty family who can't cook. i'm sorry your family hates you. please call a hotline. leave us alone.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
what is because they're fuckin nerds
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
6 months
@pblest i put all twelve of em in there!.
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@torqpenderloin
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2 years
that's cool man my spiritual grandmother is stevie nicks.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
4 years
anyway it's cool that in baseball the worst thing that can happen to most teams is that one of their players becomes really good.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 years
the reason so many hockey people are saying stupid things when asked about a very serious topic is because they have a 3rd grade education and have grown up in toxic, hockey culture their whole lives. hope this helps.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
5 years
not enough.
@JPosnanski
Joe Posnanski
5 years
How many steroid users do you believe are currently in the Hall of Fame?.
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@torqpenderloin
horse massacre
3 months
hey sorry I wasnt able to prepare for this meeting. i was reading a bunch of posts that ruined my mental well being instead.
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