chests
@chests
Followers
151
Following
82K
Media
3K
Statuses
27K
@filmsbygays the conversion therapy people like "let's have all the gays come to the same place what could go wrong".
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@GoodPoliticGuy there's a few bad apples but nobody talks about the 0.3% that are good apples.
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@coalbones i zoomed in to look at the red dude in the mirror, and then scrolled right and only then did i see the face making eye contact, like a jumpscare. i wouldn't say i jumped but i definitely inhaled sharply.
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@parkenharbor "dad, why is my sister called ranni". "she's named after your mom's favourite elden ring ending". "oh. thanks, dad!". "no problem, dung-eater".
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@JessyMornerRitt it is kinda inconsiderate of them to marry on the exact date she went shopping.
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@BudrykZack "they'll find any excuse to persecute you and lock you away. for example, the crimes you committed".
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@Whatapityonyou "so you see, timmy, just because someone cartoonishly pelts you with a coconut, wouldn't it be silly to ban delicious coconuts?!". "yeah, that WOULD be silly!". "thus similarly in real life, just because someone shoots your schoolfriends to death,.
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@lilgrapefruits i am amused he's essentially asking for permission to be magical and rowling's like "there's one jew at hogwarts and it isn't you".
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@RedHeadedScot @caitiedelaney "Well I'm off to work at the World Trade Center. Oh, by the way, what's the date today? I'm always forgetting". "It's 9/11, 2001". "Thanks, I'm always forgetting, haha". "Oh that's fine, I. " *looks at camera* ". never forget".
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so much of the daniel radcliffe pushback focuses on him being a traitor, ungrateful to jk rowling, who "made" him. it just shows how their anti-trans stance is tied up loyalty more than anything else
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@thomas_violence @RedArmyUofL I'd like to thank the cops for finally coming up with something more pathetic than me sending myself a secret valentine in high school.
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@alex_orlov_ i don't think i've seen a true "celebrity" post on here for a very long time. except katy perry for some reason.
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@MattBinder that whole "piss everyone off equally, i vote both ways" thing lasted about a minute. mask fully off, as though there was any doubt to begin with.
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@SydneyBattle man visits doctor. says, "doc, what do i do? i'm depressed". doctor says, "look, the youtuber sean evans films hot ones nearby. go eat some spicy chicken wings. you'll leave energised" . man bursts into tears . doctor says "what's wrong?" . "doc. i am sean evans from hot ones".
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@tallntran i am particularly amused how they named the specific car rather than just saying "car".
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@calebgamman "i actually talked to the advertisers" reminds me of when he said he did a "code review" with his engineers when they actually gave him a baby's first tour of twitter . he's so out of his depth
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@afraidofwasps this headline really sets up that this guy had a fiendishly clever solution but it's kinda mundane imo
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@MostCommenter @tonyzaret i mean there's 120 times more likes on the post than there are people on the planet. but who knows.
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@SatyrOnMars if i found out neil gaiman knew i was deceitful and a plagiarist, i would simply permanently end my career.
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@wsbgnl @YahooNews "we need to move past this pandemic by pretending it doesn't exist" says man in giant plastic bubble.
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Have you ever sunk 95+ hours into a game before coming back to the starting zone and accidentally stumbling into the tutorial? . lol yeah no me neither
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@ihwright @ameliaelizalde turns out the casting couch is just a couch on which you have to laugh at james corden's one-liners.
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@PrettyBadLefty "there are always kinks to work out, but statistically, alexa is ten times less likely to suggest suicide than a human".
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@RayyvanaTTV i'm sorry but you can't just baselessly call someone a pedophile. wait i'm just getting word.
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@CaptainComrad3 @mattxiv double whammy, you get to laugh at the reviews and then laugh at the replies that think they're real.
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@MNateShyamalan that "super interesting idea" was such a "i'm gonna pretend i read all that" reply.
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@sundownmotel he asked all three of them how long they'd been working there and had no follow up for any of them.
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@esjesjesj makes sense he'd want people to believe big heads are smarter, given his own is so big and square.
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@esjesjesj is this a new debate tactic from him. "your point is invalid because i already knew it".
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@kenklippenstein an article filled with links about pee is probably not what their pr department envisaged having to write a week ago.
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@Mike_Laidlaw this is the part where zapp brannigan, having taken on a job nobody asked him to, and steering purposefully into danger, and messing everything up, announces that kip, in fact, is the captain
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@Jesuislibis he can't even justify it in his own head without adding $10 million to the equation.
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@isaiah_bb you can tell he was making it up as he went along . "it'll be in the colosseum. also money (vaguely) goes to veterans. oh also (vaguely) to kids hospitals!"
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@OnlyAWorldAway "and made her brown". doesn't she die, do they want her to die while greek, wouldn't that be more woke.
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@DreamLeaf5 disturbing that the mom posts those pics on twitter to begin with, throwing her own kid to the wolves for clout.
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@McMuIIah @lib_crusher "between a woman and a man" what are they even implying here, she was the woman in the scenario, how is that problematic lol.
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@CBoTheEggman @JasonSCampbell @RaymondMollica in fact probably cheaper to feed kids en masse in school (bulk food orders, collective bargaining power to reduce costs) than to make every family buy food individually.
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@esjesjesj you see, material of a child being raped is illegal and banned. but, uh. material of it happening to a kid in afghanistan is, ummm. different for some reason.
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@custom_castle @Esqueer_ honestly i very much doubt he practices what he preaches at home, these people are all grifters. at most it'd be a "don't embarrass me in public" kinda thing.
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@staticbluebat "by the way, what's today's date". ". june 18th 2023". "thank you, pakistani businessman who came here with his teenage son".
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@jacob__posts do classrooms have american flags as standard or is he particularly patriotic.
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@CallMeFreak3 @RightWingCope "i came 16454th, but i would have come 16453rd if a trans woman hadn't completed".
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@esjesjesj musk has no outreach team for creators, all he can do is beg in public, it's so undignified.
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