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one time i went on a first date with a friend-of-friend and she had done her makeup fancier than usual and I remember thinking "what's that about. did she just come from doing something cool"
That girl ten years ago that told me she was flirting with me was flirting with me
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@paleonormie
I empathize strongly with food service and delivery workers, therefore I overtip, therefore everything is too expensive, therefore i never eat out or order food
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@dieworkwear
i resent that you persuaded me to look at this many pictures of the Frown Brothers
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@DeadInformation
that's a tough conversation. how do break the news about The Rise of Skywalker to an innocent child
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@neldonax76404
it's not helping the moon's overall reputation as a thing that is real. buzz aldrin gonna have to crack a few more skulls
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i think a raggedly incomplete painting as a comment on the artist's impending death is emotionally compelling, even if it isn't, like, totally brilliant or insightful
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saw my unrequited junior high crush at a wedding last night. she described a time she was in my bedroom and saw a bunch of wadded up tissues by my bed and got the ick. what's driving me crazy is i have no memory of her ever being at my house and idk why i wouldn't have cleaned up
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@shaggysurvives
yes, there are limits to how cool you can be without breaking safety rules and he is far beyond that coolness amount
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@anonabelian
@powerbottomdad1
America has nothing that can match the thrill of not being in Kazakhstan anymore
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@mechanical_monk
it means "you've arrived in the virtual treehouse of our intimacy, nice to see you here"
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@varunramg
lmao love that casual "I know people assumed that it was going to be better because it's Apple and because it costs $3000 more"
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@nosilverv
i mean bill clinton married her and he was a rizz king there's obviously something there
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hot take, Bill Watterson has mostly squandered his immense talent and has robbed humanity of great works of art by being content to work in one format for ten years then retire at 38
Calvin and Hobbes was such an incredible comic
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@Samtanic_Panic
that's allowed. if they say he isn't allowed to make that joke then they were being disingenuous in the first half
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everybody remember to check your privacy settings before you open the linkedin profile of the guy who tried to murder aella
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tip, if you write back "I do not understand what information you are seeking, could you ask in more direct terms?" journalists can't say that you didn't respond
rolling stone just emailed me to ask if I’m a nazi because I tweeted “art should be beautiful”
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just realized that private likes will never be rolled back no matter how much users hate it, because that would require 𝕏 to solve an engineering problem (keeping likes hidden only if submitted during the time range during which they promised privacy)
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@deepfates
maybe it's because you specified an infinitesimal point value for your height. try changing it to [6'0", 6'0.001"]
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@8chabard
questionnaire and phrasing: "If you could be assured that no one would know and that you could in no way be punished for engaging in the following acts, how likely, if at all, would you be to commit such acts?" / list of items including "rape," numerical "likely/unlikely" scale
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@ellegist
he almost called it teddy bear meridian but the editor thought readers deserved a heads up
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be like me. fail hard at something totally unrelated and then work really hard so you can start at a FAANG in your mid 30s as the oldest junior IC in the building
FAANG is the ultimate faustian bargain - give up your dreams, your hopes, your youth - in exchange for like 10 mil. 10m is a lot of money. Most people never see that money. But you have to give up a decade of your life. That decade, the energy you had, won’t come back.
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@aidanshandle
@generativist
friends, don't accept video containers from strangers to post to your commercial website
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@Andr3jH
if they were men they just wouldn't have spoken to or acknowledged each other at all
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@dissproportion
she described my bunk bed and the location of the tissues in such a way that she would have to have been viewing from the top bunk
i might have early onset dementia, only 50% joking
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the most strict level of transaction isolation is Serializable, where concurrent transactions must produce the same effect as running them one at a time. It's a bit like if you set up a game of fetch with golden retrievers on four different continents, which we just so happen to
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@Triceratops235
i remember in 5th grade cassandra nelson had two of her friends grab eric's arms so he couldn't wiggle away while she asked if he liked her. i was so jealous of that mf
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hey babe the daycare's closed due to covid. guess i'll put my career on hold indefinitely and never complain about it
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@coldhealing
nooo don't leave the place that is gently telling you they don't want your age group as customers
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wife requested a plain chocolate cake with chocolate frosting for her birthday. let's find out how online she is
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@CultureCrave
@thetimes
He was actually shooting at Megatron, he just missed and hit the pyramids
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the lord miles thing has me doing a mental update on survival techniques. some mfs just believe in themselves enough to be bulletproof
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past a certain point you start optimizing for customers who are paying no attention to the price at all
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@poppy_haze
@lulumeservey
Not big fans of low flying aircraft in this town, yeah I can see that
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@shaggysurvives
chesterton's flat wooden panel with a handle: don't turn around a flat wooden panel with a handle in case it's a chesterton's mirror
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suppose N 13 year olds are dying of cancer and each's dying wish is to be directly responsible for 1/Nth of a murder. For what value of N
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people associate dumb ideas with women not because women are dumber than men, but because hot dumb women have a vector for widely disseminating dumb ideas via their sexual access to high status men, but hot dumb men can't do this
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@weyestrinity
"must be provably resistant to giving admin privileges to increasingly persuasive bots"
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here's what we got going on bluesky these days in case anyone's wondering
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@CartoonsHateHer
ed is just this guy who pinches everyone's faces a lot. idk why we keep him around
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my biggest complaint about vibecamp is that it has failed to completely erase the universal tendency of humans to compete for and display status differences in every social setting
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am i crazy or is there a huge amount of money that could be made simply by selling AI girlfriends that have the political ideology of teenage edgelord boys
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@dissproportion
there's some kind of consolidation happening since the mid 2000s, the few remaining recording artists with significant marketing budgets will keep taking bigger shares of the marketing pie
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@funderlaw
Wife: "Now as we both know, the artist we're seeing tonight is named Ed Sheeran"
Me: "Of course honey. I'm excited. You're excited. It's the whole reason we're at this hotel."
(Wife and I turn to stare directly into the camera for an uncomfortable duration)
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honestly disgusted at myself for how much i hate this. we should have moved to bluesky. too bad that's impossible now for some reason
This week we’re making Likes private for everyone to better protect your privacy.
– You will still be able to see posts you have liked (but others cannot).
– Like count and other metrics for your own posts will still show up under notifications.
– You will no longer see who
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Whoa wait a sec. Do we just nakedly worship technocapitalist power around here
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@not_a_hot_girl
just school reunion mental regression goofiness i guess. better than talking about work and parenting
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@shaggysurvives
@dylancvdean
if the rule applies when a gun is unloaded it definitely still applies here
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@Ryan_Gasoline
@ArtyArtHistory
i read a play the other day that wasn't even in iambic pentameter, trash
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@___frye
keep your hand up if you'd like to become emotionally invested in a cat that comes and goes at will from a storefront in a busy metropolitan area
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@feliciasonmez
If I can't dance on Kobe's grave, you can't make sexist+homophobic+ableist jokes, it's only fair
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@browserdotsys
still very striking that the interface between two of OpenAI's products involves talking to one of them like an intern. "You do not need to ask for permission to generate, just do it!"
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People worry too much. Here's something (from math) we call a Logistic Curve, it's how growth works in the real world
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"Elon Musk and Grimes met because they both know who I am" has amazing potential as a pickup line
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@Titanic_Gay
@AlexanderPayton
Ehrlich predicted a sharp increase in famine due to population growth, starting in the 1970s, which did not happen
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(the purpose of this tweet is not to imply that a discord manager's work cannot be worth $180k)
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Just queried "Loab:-1" and got this bangin ass hot dude. AI is a miracle
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if Aella's post is the first time you've come across the "we should eventually eliminate wild animal suffering" take, i know which kind of post-rat you aren't
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the "lemuring" meme will be generally destructive and harmful, piling on discouragement to people who are already insecure, yet there's probably no point in standing athwart memetic fitness, yelling Stop
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@HariSel57511397
when the movie ends there are three characters out of like 40 speaking roles that managed to survive the war their government started, which caused the deaths of not only all of their war buddies but also the entire city they were from
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a sad statistic: 25% of tech CEOs cannot confidently recognize satire
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