Kerry
@RoxanneLaWin
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Why do I get 160 characters in this box? Today I thought I was descended from a T-Rex because of my powerful jaws. She/Her. #Spoonie
Bath, England
Joined September 2008
Do we all hate bluesky? Did I miss a meeting? If not, add me or reply with your snappy little handle.
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There’s three hungover girls on the table next to me, dissecting last night. From what I can gather, they have a communal PAYG phone whose number they give to creeps, and then laugh at all the thirsty messages later. I wish I had the authority to award them the Nobel prize.
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Was kind of mad researching my ancestry and finding out that we were mega-rich before some knob frittered it all away, until I found out it was THIS KING!!?! He spent my inheritance on theatre and costume and I couldn’t be less mad. I’ll take poverty for this 1900s photo of him
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Long shot, but if anybody in #Bath sees my off road mobility scooter out and about, or listed on fb, can you let me know? Stolen from my front garden overnight. HD Motorbike lock cut through with bolt-cutters. Because of my disability and being broke, was/is my only transport.
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When Annabel saw that I was homeless on Twitter, she invited me to stay at her house. She didn’t know me, she just saw a person who needed help. Those few nights kept me off the streets, and let me get a longer-term plan in order. I’m still flawed by the kindness of her.
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If any of you are as fascinated by my great great etc cousin or something as I am, here he is in all his live-lived-brilliantly glory.
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Do you even know how incredible Russian wedding photos are, though?
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80% of adult life is trying to fold up Bags For Life to fit in the Master Bag For Life.
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@nevali Right? We were under the belief that the money had all been gambled away by the Baron of Cannock Paget, a boring aristocratic gentleman farmer. But Henry Paget, 5th Marquess of Anglesey is forgiven because it all went on a life like this photo.
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@GillianMcKeith I’ll likely die if I get the virus so I’ve been shielding for a yr now, completely alone. Do we really live in such a hateful country that so many medically vulnerable peoples’ lives are that expendable? Every single person I see in these crowds tells me that they want me dead.
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Yes I’m doing the police’s work for them. With zero spoons and cycling anxiety/depression which takes me into negative spoons.
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The UK Communal Fuckboy Burner is up and running. DM me for the number, until I get a new Twitter going for it. #FuckboyBurner.
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I never mentioned it before because she’s a private person, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind now. She was spending her days volunteering at a special school, and driving around older and disabled people to appointments etc. Nobody knew because she didn’t do anything for praise.
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@gracecamille_ Ok but does he get into his t-shirts feet first? Every time I’ve seen him it looks like he’s given birth to a Boeing 737 out of the neck-hole.
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@KatiePennick @lsthart I don’t like handles at all, because of bad experiences of being grabbed and moved around like a shopping trolley, so when I get my own wheels, I’ll have removable handles too. There when I need them, off when I don’t.
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Oh shit this is a real person with voting rights and everything
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@ByranZaugg @D4VEKAT @hansmollman I want to see Detective Stabler losing his mind over three bags of fluid/foam/fruit for 3/4 of an episode.
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@mexx_07 “We would’ve got away with being Massive Creeps if it wasn’t for their damn foresight and self determination. Grr.”.
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Hmm, maybe I won’t give myself a Traumatic Head Injury this year, then. Something to think about.
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Thank you everybody. Even a comment saying “DAMN THE SCUMBAGS” genuinely has helped me. I was stupidly feeling all weird last night like I’d been being watched because of my weird schedule, so having you all on my side has helped me in the skull, and that’s important.
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@Jason_epi @badlin @realgirl_fieri @devon_cantwell *not venom. VENMO. I see the point of venom: it’s so snakes have something threatening about them, since they look so damn ridiculous. Just head and neck. Never mind limbs, where’s their torso? All just slithering necks.
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@CaptainPeyote @KatiePennick @lsthart Oh I like it. Cattle prod handles. Try it and learn a lesson, asap.
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I am very angry/sad. I can go to bed now, right? Deal with it tomorrow, right?.
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@lady_gabbar That’s what most of this conversation has been. Butthurt Bros saying “ugh these bitches can’t just say no”. We do guys. This is for when the second or third “no” doesn’t work. And look how many of us relate to it.
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@LilNasX I didn’t fully realise I was queer until I was about 35. If there were more out artists, and queer mainstream art, maybe I would’ve lived a fuller life before now. You’re a beautiful king I admire from two decades ahead of you.
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My living room floor slopes because the neighbours were a direct hit during the blitz, so it’s literally Hitler’s fault that I just tipped my tea on the cream rug. Genuinely, literally Hitler. My rug.
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Even in the non-‘shopped category, there are definite themes I just cannot seem to understand
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@xurxocl One time in Hobbycraft i heard a woman asking if they sold templates for bunting. That was a good one. They’re triangles love. It’s not that advanced.
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@cantajurae @rinbcage I was hearing it in primary school in the 80s. No one knows where it came from. Like the clown.
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Just realised, there’s an entire generation that won’t believe that before Facebook, we had entire friendships, starts, middles and ends, over years with someone, without ever knowing their surname.
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@simon_colwell @TinyWriterLaura @syntaxmoot @rosiejbest The Man Has Spoken. We shall stand down. We are wrong for trying to protect ourselves.
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I did it. Illegal tweeting from court but had to tell you, I fought the Tories and I fucking won. Oh my fucking gods and moons. I won this mother fucking appeal.
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@loubakker I’ve been assaulted, more than once, sexual and otherwise and otherwise by people I’ve turned down. This is me and other people who’ve experienced similar finding coping mechanisms and support.
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@Pixelfish I think I used to give out the library’s number. Maybe they’ll accidentally join, I hoped.
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@soapachu I did. I was worried I’d have to turn my phone off overnight and, that’s not happening. It’s so lonely with the phone off. Maybe it’s the phone keeping me alive while unconscious? Best not risk it. (The app ’s running super slow though.).
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Landlords: “no DHSS, fuck off”. Who’s the only ones paying their rent now, mother fuckers?.
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Shall I get us all a joint burner phone to give the number out to The Creeps, then tweet the messages? There’s kinks to be ironed out, but a lot of us are interested.
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@seirioldavies @tubalzoo @MKupperman That’s incredible!! About the musical. I’m on my way to learning everything now can about him. He’s already inspired me on the fashion & costume design front. Very much so.
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It’s the little boy next door’s 6th birthday-eve, and he’s out in the garden, fresh from the bath in his dinosaur pyjamas, playing barefoot with his best friend who’s sleeping-over tonight. We spend our entire adult lives and disposable income chasing that exact feeling.
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@Pixelfish @lauraewelsh Oh yeah! I was Angela quite often. It seems there was a common consciousness between women even before Twitter. Imagine what we could achieve?! (If it weren’t for those damn men.).
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I GOT MY FUCKING UNIVERSAL CREDIT BACK PAY!!!! (One of two, I haven’t beat The Man yet). Three years, and four months it’s taken, and I’m going round Morrissons to buy brand-name toilet paper like a Fancy Lady.
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@Son_Of_Ray She was so lovely. It was exactly what I needed at the moment, and if I was that type of person, I’d say she was an angel because it was just what I needed at that time. The feeling I got from her was someone who recognised their privileges, and using them to help those without.
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@angry_jiggly @stutteringkook @rollwthepunches Here’s another beauty from some of his ‘leaked’ messages. I’m here struggling to make a meal tonight because of pain/lack of funds because I can’t work, and this guy’s a millionaire, who can’t even come up with an original make up look, which is his whole job.
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THATS BECAUSE ITS MINE!!! I got it. I got the flat. I haven’t been genuinely happy, or hopeful in years but, this place is gorgeous and it’s mine. You’re gonna have to trust me because it’s been taken down. Because it’s mine. Mine. My home. My flat.
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A lot of you have been asking about crowd-funding to get me back on some wheels and over the park again. (Which is why I went for off-road style). I’ve caved and am pricing it up with a better lock. Do any bike sort of people have tips for a really good, un-cuttable lock?.
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Police came round this morning. They’ve been asking around neighbours/dog walkers/local businesses.
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I tried a solid D-lock style, but it was too short and inflexible for the weird corner where I have to lock it up. 30cm/12” leeway at v.least, and a little bit of flexibility would be great. Thank you everybody. You’ve made what would’ve been a really crappy day, not so bad.
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Ok. Our Communal Creep Burner will hopefully be up and running by this evening. New twitter and number to follow.
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Does anybody have a photo taken one step down from this one, because it would look perfectly like Kim was carrying a Kanye balloon-on-a-stick?
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@lady_gabbar That’s brilliant. The puzzle will distract them from the fact WE’RE NOT INTERESTED.
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The added kick in the teeth is that I’d bought everything I needed to give it a good clean service this coming week. And now I can’t return it all because I don’t have any transport to get to the post office. Old Sod, your laws are ridiculous.
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@kittynightjar I’m trying to work out how turn notifications off. I’m so glad everyone loves the 3 Hungover Girls as much as I do.
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@Trawler1x1 @FabricantWyg We think so, yes! Did you send the info to Chapter One? If so, thank you SOOOO much!! Just going down there now.
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@bloodyexhausted @LittleGravitas Thank you for that. I’m sure I will keep you all updated. I’ve just been dealing with it for the last two hrs in my own until I realised, ‘you know who will also be angry for and with me about this? Twitter.’ The instant family/community for the terminally lonely!.
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Had a message from my dad saying the dog had “caught Covid”. Dad Joke level 10.
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Late romantic lunch. (I’m vegetarian. Yes I bought Pepperami just for the cat.)
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@kittynightjar If PAYG phones had been a tenner when I was 22, I would have been all over it. I love those girls.
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“How did you know your depressive episode was over, Kerry?”. Thanks for asking. Well, I found myself writing an Islands In The Stream parody about putting a lizard up a lover’s ass in an online comment box.
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@aboutagrrrI @gracecamille_ Every time an adult man calls me or another woman a ‘girl’ in my presence, I call them ‘boy’ to see how fucking stupid it is. Added detail: I’m in my 40s. And these boys still try and pull that infantilising bs. It’s fun. Recommended. Eight stars.
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The crux of the matter, to the Broflakes in my replies who think this is unkind is best said by Margaret Atwood: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”.
There’s three hungover girls on the table next to me, dissecting last night. From what I can gather, they have a communal PAYG phone whose number they give to creeps, and then laugh at all the thirsty messages later. I wish I had the authority to award them the Nobel prize.
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@Peteey123 I’ve been nudged by a couple of other people. This housebound lass has to find a way of making this pilgrimage to Anglesey.
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AND…this unofficial rental scooter dumping spot is less than 100m from my house. Why take a corporate-owned-and-insured scooter, when a disabled person’s lifeline is just sitting there?
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Is it illegal to WD40 your new neighbour’s kids’ swing in the middle of the night?.
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@TinyWriterLaura @syntaxmoot @simon_colwell @tcooper_music @rosiejbest We’re going “Oh shit, me too. That’s not cool, let’s find the humour and camaraderie in it” rather than “I’m going to keep talking about my opinions until it changes someone else’s past experiences.”.
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Holy holy HOLY FUCK BALLS AND ALL THE JUBILATIONS I WON!! I took on the government and it took 3 1/2 yrs but I won. Ain’t no one going to be bullied by the DWP on my watch. I’ll celebrate (go to bed with a burrito), and then start helping everyone else going through this shit.
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@Rosssatron Done! Thanks Ross. It’s really sucked that this has happened, but knowing so many other people are angry about it has helped me. Not to get it back, but you know. Feelings wise.
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“Are you a compulsive liar, and a giant fucking arsehole piece of shit? Join us now and start your career as an Electronic Bus Timetable!!”.
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@AnitaHTweets So happy for you. I’m celebrating over here in England, so I can’t even imagine the relief and joy for you guys.
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@NetherBi @CaptainPeyote @KatiePennick @lsthart Oh hell yeah. Like spikes to keep pigeons off buildings, but for keeping gross strangers off the extension of your body.
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Has anybody in #bath lost a couple of pigeons? They’re definitely at least semi-tame, and they’ve been round here feeding at my window for a couple of days. They seem super hungry though, eating far more and far faster than the wild birds.
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Flatmate asked if I had a boy in my room as she heard "Come back to bed, you're missing it." I was talking to the cat about Labyrinth.
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I’ll remind the non-smokers of tonight, when they’re trying to take our beer garden tables in the summer. We’re out here. Putting in the hours all year round.
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@ChumpanZeee @GordyODT They were just three girls in McDonalds. I don’t know how to find them. And, when you’re hungover in McDonalds, you don’t want to be bothered by anyone.
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There’s a weird man in in McD’s in a polo neck and a lanyard who greeted me as I walked in. He’s meeting teenagers in here. He’s either some sort of hip youth worker without an office, or a massive criminal. Either way, he thought I was a teenager so I’m counting it as a win.
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@boredrigjockey @archer_rs I’m locked out of fb until I get a new phone number, so I’ve been asking people I do know to get it on fb for me. Thanks for the tip, though. The PCSO said she was up your way today, asking about. Thank you, neighbours. If anything this has opened my local community to me!.
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@PSBurton They charge for that? Just come round my flat for lunch while I’m in a depressive episode, and you’ll get it for free.
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The implication that teeth have genitals, and shame, is ruining my day
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@Jason_epi @badlin @realgirl_fieri @devon_cantwell Can you guys answer a cross-Atlantic question I have, plz? We just don’t see the point of venom here in Britain, we all just do quick online (free) bank transfers. Is your banking different, meaning you can’t/don’t/won’t do that?.
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@LeftywokeMark I’m going to give it another couple of days then I think I might. It wasn’t as expensive as people think, but being unable to work, it’s the most expensive thing I own. (Used to own). I feel weird asking for money, but a lot of people have been suggesting it.
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It’s sexy when a girl’s got samosa filling down her cleavage, right?.
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