lauraewelsh
@lauraewelsh
Followers
626
Following
12K
Media
3K
Statuses
25K
A legal alien in the Channel Islands, mum of cynical teens, PR grafter
Joined December 2008
17 teenage girls at mine for a party. They’ve left the kitchen like this.
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@hannahfearn Nothing! They actually had an excellent pre-gcse party with cocktails and dancing and gatecrashers who were evicted. Then very sweetly cleared up st 11.30. Even the recycling was done!.
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@KirstieMAllsopp @BBCNewsnight Schools here in Jersey are now all open from Monday with no social distancing in primary and 1m in secondary. Our government has decided it is more damaging to the health of children to keep them off school than it is to social distance them at home.
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Man alive this is good. Test driving @Nigella_Lawson Salted Chocolate Tart before a party this weekend.
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This was my daughters friend. She was in our kitchen on Saturday night eating gherkins. You just never know what people are going through. Her brother has set this up, locals if you’d like to, please read.
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I went to Lidl yesterday (we don’t have them in Jersey) and it was honestly better than going to Antigua for a week.
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@kpcole11 It was! And we even had crashers who were sent away with their tails between their legs.
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@Philippa_Perry I’d love you and The Guardian to compile these columns into a book as they’d make a brilliant Guide to Life to give kids when they leave home.
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@alicevjones Those teenage girls were terrific! It’s so great to see proper teenagers on television.
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@RoxanneLaWin @Pixelfish We used to have fake names that we wouldn't know until a friend introduced us, caused all sorts of chaos and embarrassment.
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@CuriouslyEmily Fresh flowers. I buy a bunch every Monday morning between dropping the kids at school and starting work. Putting them in the vase makes me feel like I’ve started the week in a positive way.
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@MissPotkin Stay strong. I once did a ten day stand off with rugby kit left in our hall. It took every ounce of self control but I never touched it.
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Went to pick up son from darkest Trinity, went round a corner and came across the most stunning wild flower meadow.
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@MorganBroadcast Worth contacting Katie Morley from @Telegraph if you get no joy. She’s a tiger at sorting cases like these out. @KatieMorley_.
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@sarajcox When we were little my mother had a very long conversation with the local vicar in the street only to get home, look in the mirror and see she had a lollipop stuck to the side of her hair from carrying my little sister around.
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@MsWarnersWorld Party food and snacks from M&S. I used to do this annually when Mr W took the kids on a 2 day camping trip.
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Have heard that son is in the pub watching the rugby with his new flatmates on his first ever night at uni. I don’t think I could be happier if I tried.
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@paulwtrueman Really worth listening to his interview on this. He had long covid when he filmed that and was really poorly!
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@RebeccaCNReid @samholl It’s also not just laziness on the part of the dad. It’s the single mindedness that leads to hobbies such as running, rugby, golf etc that take up swathes of weekends which are taken up without consideration of the rest of the family’s arrangements.
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I love Jersey Library. It’s right next to my daughter’s dance school and is open till 9pm for comfy seating, coffee machines, free magazines and books to read and wifi. #loveyourlibrary
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It’s Kezia’ memorial this morning. Her favourite colour was green so this seemed the perfect choice
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This is what passes for white hot entertainment in Jersey. We’ve had thick horror movie level fog for 2 days solid and not a single flight has landed for two days. Flights trying then having to go back to the UK. It’s very tense making!.
Agonising as BA & easyJet try & cut through the fog to land in 🇯🇪 for 1st time this week. 😬✈️
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Yet again Stacey Solomon is doing a masterclass in kindness, empathy and relatability on #SortYourLifeOut.
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Went for a walk and found bits of Jersey I didn’t know existed. Stunning.
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I’m really sad my #movemore swim course has finished. I’d highly recommend it to any Jersey folk thinking about trying swimming. Will I lose weight by doing it? no. Will I get fit doing it? Probably not.Have I made new friends and feel good about myself? Absolutely. @JerseySport.
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With GCSEs and Alevels coming up I’m here to celebrate the grafters for whom a C or a 6 is a really brilliant outcome. We can’t all be A* students so let’s normalise getting normal marks.
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Jeremy Vine has retweeted a photo of my kitchen the teens cleaned.
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@camillard Nope. The bag is perfect for dog walking! AirPods phone and poo bags in the bag. And also perfect for airports.
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@kbloomfield65 @icod The absolute key to happiness in life is to find your tribe, no matter what tribe that is or how old you are. The younger the better though.
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@AliPlumb There was a show in the 90’s called Sunset Beach that was amazing. It had a character with an evil twin, a while storyline about a witch and the best thing was the omnibus was on a Saturday for 4 hours.
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@KirstieMAllsopp all our devices are charged in the kitchen only and we have this box that all the kids devices stay in unless allowed
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Hats off to the EasyJet pilot who got us in to Jersey today in unbelievable cross winds when all BA flights had been cancelled. “We’ll have a go, it’s going to be very turbulent and we might have to turn back” then brought us down perfectly.
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@RebeccaCNReid This has made me SO cross. According to the media my son who is a boy (mistake 1), bottle fed (mistake 2) and was born in August (mistake 3) should have no future. He's grafted and is hoping to go to University this Autumn. I refuse for him or me to be branded a failure.
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Colin from Accounts is really as funny and charming as everyone says it is. And reminded me that Australians refer to ‘bedlinen’ as ‘Manchester’ which has always blown my mind. As in ‘I like your Manchester, where did you get it from?’ .Yes. Really.
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Ocean’s 8 was a lot better than I expected it to be (12yr daughter asked to go and she loved it) but am baffled by the casting of James Cordon. Huge distraction. @wittertainment @KermodeMovie.
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@5goalthriller @flamingnora How is Rita Ora still famous? She must have one hell of an agent. Remember that time she presented a whole season of Americas Top Model?.
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I’ve taken to leaving the laundry here to see if anyone will carry it up. So far two people in my house have walked round it.
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@jayrayner1 I’ve one of the first paperback editions and still use the Mac and cheese recipe from the ‘babies and small children’ chapter, with new amounts as the children have grown so as to increase portions. They are now 16,14 and 12. @Nigella_Lawson
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This is how my dog likes to get to the car to go for his walk. I think he might be broken?
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Watching #ClarksonsFarm Apparently everyone who is everyone takes Lions Mane mushroom powder every day.
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Listening to Scott Mills last show on Radio 1 and it’s really moving, he’s a terrific broadcaster who has been on Radio 1 for a vast part of my adult life and I listen daily. As a 49yr old mother of 3 I’m not their demographic, but I’ve grown up with it. #scottmills. @BBCRadio1.
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This is the young lad whose sister tragically died earlier this year. Hats off to Man City for making this happen.
A proud, emotional and deserving moment for Ben Mason to hand Fernandinho the premier league trophy #Champions 🏆🏆🏆
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@anvilwalrusden @MissPotkin I have no idea but I never touched it! One day it was gone so it may well have spontaneously combusted for all I care.
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Damian from #SewingBee is one of my favourite show contestants ever. So entertaining and totally owning his love of sewing alongside beer, computer games and DIY.
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People are still liking the kitchen photo and the BBC have been on the phone. I don’t know what is real anymore.
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@ruskin147 She suddenly looks so much younger! And super smart. Congratulations as this is a big step.
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My parents are so cute. They are on holiday in the Caribbean and send us ‘cocktail of the day’ photos to the family WhatsApp.
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Jersey people will know the anxiety that ‘check in as advised’ creates rather than ‘as scheduled’.
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My boss has just hand delivered this to my house to commiserate for the fact that it’s been a hell of a couple of weeks. Be that kind of boss, people!
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So child 1 has left for Uni. Feeling hopeful, and happy and excited for him.
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@Philippa_Perry Yes true! I’ve been following an online watercolour tutorial today and am loving it. I’ve not done any ‘proper’ art since my GCSE 30 years ago.
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@maggyvaneijk Brilliant idea. I’m in and I can even bring our first office retriever, Ferris.
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Helped run the bar at an 18th party last night. Things I learned: .jaeger-bombs are still a thing.Unless you run out. Then they’ll drink literally anything mixed together under the guise of ‘punch’ .Drunk teens LOVE talking to other people’s mums.
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Just spent an hour on the phone to my parents discussing #GraysonsArtClub after I told them to watch it on catch up. They’ve watched the whole series in a day. And are particularly in love with @Philippa_Perry and Kevin the cat.
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@poornabell There have been schools that have recently changed uniforms to allow leggings, gym gear etc and have installed hair dryers and now do double PE lessons to give time to change and this has seen really positive effects.
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@joeb_EY One for very so slightly older than babies, this is just brilliant. 2 dogs who are robbers who change their ways and open a bakery.
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@Nigella_Lawson I’ve fed my children this most days for the past 17 years. Otherwise known as Fridge Safari.
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Am in one of those French hotels that was described as ‘tired’ in a 2019 review. But the staff are charming, it’s spotless and look at the view!
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I mean. Look at this. What you can’t see is the other ‘family pool’ which is filled to the brim with teenagers playing water polo.
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Also look at my lovely mum when I was born. Excellent ‘73 hair.
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Remember that nest in my shed? It’s got 4 very fluffy baby robins in it. Eyes shut still. Now on shed watch to keep an eye on it all day and night
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The casting on #Sherwood is excellent. The younger versions do really look like their older incarnations.
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Things they don’t tell parents include the feeling you’ll have when your child leaves school for the last time. 14 years of routine over, just like that. It’s taken me really by surprise.
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Just found the ten rolls of wrapping paper I bought in the Sales after Christmas last year. My late grandfather would be proud of me.
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Today is my last day in my current job. I’ve been there 5 years and for the past 12 months I’ve been working with a large team who I’ve NEVER met IRL. I literally have no idea how tall any of them are. This is working life post-covid and for new/younger colleagues it’s terrible.
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In a delicious piece of irony this book has a different book accidentally printed inside it. Imagine my surprise when I started what I thought was this 1/2
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Covid mini break day 5 complete. Cough finally getting better, tan improving. Have watched 7 episodes of Only Murders in the Building, 2 series of Hotel Inspector and spent approx 24 hours watering the garden.
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