Mark
@5goalthriller
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Non-stop Disco Tex and the Sex-o-lettes
Joined June 2024
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#MyLoveMixUpTHep9
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バニーの日
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STEP DOWN FASCIST HASINA
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Hugo
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#พรชีวันEP3
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Kyle
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#MisteryosoCOJJJ
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#CupOfJhoAtMisteryosoMV
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JHOANNA NGITING MISTERYOSO
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アザラシ幼稚園
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ヒロアカ
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Supreme God Kabir
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長岡花火
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Osmar Olvera
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Teddy Riner
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Emile
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雇用統計
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#ساعه_استجابه
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バドミントン
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Fulham
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Ron Paul
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Ankita
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フェニックス
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トイストーリー
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異界入り
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It’s funny, because ‘raft stunt’ rhymes with the first thing that popped into my head.
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Does anyone want an arse flare? I’m not in the mood for using it.
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I was just looking at the cost of Dua Lipa tickets, and apparently there’s a ‘strictly no ukuleles’ door entry policy? Weird.
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At least buy me dinner first.
Could we set Uranus on fire to steal its hidden diamonds?
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“I only asked if you fancied a pint.”
Bryan Johnson says he would rather live long enough to see superintelligence enable him to become a god than give in to the momentary pleasures of debauchery that are available now
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I hope they have many happy weeks together.
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“Hello, Dragons. I’ll keep this brief; basically, I need enough money to buy ten million rectangular bandages to sell as Halloween costumes, and you can have 50 per cent.”
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Christ on a fucking bike.
They're as wild as those crackpots with their wacky ideas of how to find that missing lad in Tenerife.
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“David or CHiPs?”
If you were one of the SIX POINT ONE MILLION people who watched CHiPs instead of Bowie at Live Aid... have a word with yourselves. (And yes I have spent the entire day looking at Barb ratings what of it)
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Imagine The Apprentice, but with just the most horrible cunts… oh no wait, that is The Apprentice.
🚨 NEW: The following seven candidates have been given Tory leadership packs after asking for them:
- Suella Braverman
- James Cleverly
- Priti Patel
- Robert Jenrick
- Kemi Badenoch
- Tom Tugendhat
- Mel Stride
[
@joncraig
]
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Football fans who get excited about seeing themselves on the big screen when they’re 2-0 down.
#Names
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Are we all agreed that this is part of the hat, and not his real hair?
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Right, let’s put our political differences aside for a couple of hours and unite in the national pastime of hoping Portugal get stuffed.
#PORSLO
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I saw Sluggish Broadband at the Camden Falcon before they were signed.
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The bookies have made England favourites to win the tournament again, like the first 94 minutes didn’t happen.
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“Pee is stored in the balls”
JUST IN: 🇰🇵 North Korea says it will soon be making an important announcement
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Scotland fans will still have a good night on the lash. Hungary fans will be on the goulash.
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‘BBC Comedian’, best known for something that was on Channel Four.
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I’ve just opened my post to find a letter from CCHQ, purporting to be from my future self, telling me not to vote for Reform or Labour will end up being in power for the next twenty years. What an extraordinary campaign.
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“Stop putting hats on the animals and posting the photos on instagram.”
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To be fair, even he can still shake his head in disbelief at Sunak’s election campaign.
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Solid, decisive action from Sunak. This will definitely turn things around for him.
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The Guardian there, apparently reluctant to pin JFK’s assassination on anyone in particular.
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*sigh*
Can’t argue with that, really. Spain have been terrific across the tournament.
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I HAVE VOTED. The polling station was suspiciously quiet, with no dogs in attendance.
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My ‘not having a very public nervous breakdown’ tweet is raising a lot of questions already answered by etc and so on.
I’d be interested in knowing whether Kemi thinks I’m having a “very public nervous breakdown”.
#honesty
#unity
#wedontleak
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These people are insane.
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Dark Matter is belly button fluff.
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Fucksake, I’ve just been referred to the Gambling Commission for putting a tenner on England getting their arses handed to them in the last 16.
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“Gareth Southgate is his own harshest critic.” Yeah, give it a few minutes.
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England have technically knocked out Croatia, which is not to be sniffed at.
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At this time of year the spy hole in my front door is like Stonehenge, or one of those tunnels built by Brunel.
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Just remembering the time I worked for a business in the early 2000s who, in an attempt to lift staff morale, hired a George Michael lookalike to hang around the office for the day. Not to sing. Just to amble around vaguely looking like George Michael while everyone was working.
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@AdolphusSpriggs
Starting on polling day, as they’re all above taking part in the democratic process.
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Rishi and family heading into the cinema at 6.57pm, having just finished work.
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