Steph
@66Steph82
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I fix people for others to enjoy
South East, England
Joined August 2012
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Pinned Tweet
I’ve preordered the Pol Pot rucksack
@AyoCaesar
repping the forthcoming ‘Marx™’ t-shirt from
@novaramedia
Looking fabulous!
Available soon...
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The separate stomach for pudding
What is the most amazing biological process in the human body?
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Omeprazole
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For everyone who loves a flat roofed murder pub, here’s our local.
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What phrase would you use to let people know you’d been kidnapped? Mine: I’m going for a run
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I’ll tell you what annoys me as an introvert: it’s going on a bloody course where they make you talk to the complete stranger next to you with the aim of finding out enough about them to introduce them to the group’. That’s what bloody annoys me
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I don’t recall a supermarket worker or delivery driver wiping their nose on my hand or sneezing in my face but it has happened to me numerous times in the classroom. False equivalence can go fuck itself
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Is there anything in the entire world that Owen Jones doesn’t think he’s right about
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In 1981 my Home Economics teacher said my flapjacks could hardcore a patio. It cut me to the quick. I want her found and I want her punished
“Has someone said or done something that made you feel bad, upset or angry?”
Yes. Many times. We did not call the police.
The
@CPSUK
has lost its mind.
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The look when there’s two steak bakes left on the shelf and three people ahead of you in the queue
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I’m not Jewish and this terrifies me. I can’t imagine how it must feel to be Jewish and see this.
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Asking the cookery teacher if the 2 tbls of water in the recipe were heaped or level. She sent me out the room. No sense of humour
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As I’m on a diet I’m eating the Nutella straight out the jar and not wasting calories putting it on bread
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Every groom should wear the same lipstick as his bride on their wedding day
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No the Labour Party is alive, the dreadful version of a party ambushed by entryists under Corbyn is dead and everyone who needs a Labour government is bloody happy about it
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Can I just say that I had major abdominal surgery last September and, by Christmas I still looked like shite and if anyone had pointed a camera at me I would’ve shoved it up their arse
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You forgot to mention the hostages Fiona
NOW: large protest in central London in solidarity with Palestine 🇵🇸
Stop Israel's genocidal war on Gaza - ceasefire now!
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Type the year you turned 18 into the GIF bar and post the best GIF you see
Type the year you turned 18 into the GIF bar and post the best GIF you see
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RIP Eric Carle. In tribute today I will eat through a piece of chocolate cake, an ice cream cone, a pickle, a slice of Swiss cheese, a slice of salami, a lollypop, a piece of cherry pie, a sausage, a cupcake and a slice of watermelon
#EricCarle
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Name a character who technically isn’t a villain but you consider to be one
Name a character who technically isn't a villain but you consider to be one.
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Had to do a double take. I thought it was Brian Clough
Tory MP Simon Hart projected to lose his seat. At least he lasted longer than 44 days.
@SkyNews
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Trying to explain to the boy that in my day beef burgers were served without buns, with chips and peas, on a plate with a knife and fork. He’s having none of it
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Behold! A Yorkshire pudding wrap filled with sausage and black pudding and a smidge of mustard. Now tell me I’m not marriage material
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Do you ever start to write a reply only to delete it because you just don’t want the prospect of a conversation?
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This situation was a conversation not an arrest. This officer could’ve deescalated this quite easily and used it as a learning opportunity. It shows how autism awareness training is badly needed
@Baroness_Nichol
This officer is clearly on a power trip and seemed to actively revel in a vulnerable child’s distress. This woman was not out to serve her community but to feed her own ego and selfish sense of entitlement. Disgusting!
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Mat’s had a breakdown. His posh burger came to the table on an actual wooden chopping board and his fries arrived in a terracotta plant pot. Unable to cope, he asked the waiter for a plate 🤦🏻♀️
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“Hello Adolf, we’re planning to liberate Europe. What day suits you best? “
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What a prick
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My father-in-law died this morning. He was a legend and would take the piss out of me at every opportunity. You would have liked him.
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If the school policy is no badges it doesn’t matter if it’s a Tufty Club badge you follow the rules or face the consequences. Why is that so hard to accept?
An eight-year-old boy was suspended from Barclays Primary School in Leyton, East London, for wearing a Palestinian badge to commemorate his relatives who were killed by Israel in Gaza.
Parents and students are protesting outside the school to support him.
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They’re not constituents, they just want to impede labour’s chances of winning. It’s very transparent and a bit pathetic
“How do you feel about Israel turning off the water? Rachel, would you be able to live without water?” Labour's Shadow Chancellor, Rachel Reeves, was confronted by residents about her stance on Israel’s war on Gaza while she was campaigning in Leeds.
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I’m old enough to remember the heady days of a New Labour government when schools were properly funded, had a TA in every class, appropriate resources, and time to scaffold and underpin learning. Bloody fund schools properly
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Only gone and got an interview lads. Buggered if I know what to do, not had one for 22 years 🤷🏻♀️
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Fair play to the lad I admire his prowess but he’s going to a spent force after the first couple of cities surely
The French president is stepping in after the country's birth rate hit its lowest point since World War II.
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I’ve been punched square in the face causing blood and fluid to run out my nose by a bloke. It fucking hurts. Please stop ridiculing women’s tears when it happens to them
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In a very packed field, this has got to be one of the most vile posts so far.
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See that window A. That’s where the careers officer made me stand and said” look out there at the world, with your exam results you can do absolutely anything you want.”
See that building B. That’s the bank I worked in 🤷🏻♀️
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It’s like letting the child ,who’s birthday it isn’t ,blow the candles out on the cake because they’re having a tantrum
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Remember, a vote for Labour is a vote for Corbyn, Milne, Murray and mood music McCluskey.
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I’m going out on the lash, got my contact lenses in and everything
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Lost my mum to ovarian cancer. She was 60 and being treated for IBS as the symptoms are very similar. Ladies, keep making a fuss, go back to your GP , insist on a scan. I wish my mum had
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Come to my council estate Owen and tell the locals what you ,in you’re infinite experience ,think they need in a Labour government Big hint, don’t mention Israel or Cuba or Corbyn because they couldn’t give a shiny shit about them.
"People simply don't know what Labour stands for anymore"
Journalist Owen Jones says there has been "a compete vacuum left by the Labour Party when it comes to policy or vision"
#BBCElections
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I was born in the 60’s too so we must be a similar age and we didn’t have central heating or double glazing and it was bloody freezing however I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else
I was born in the 60s.
We didn't have central heating, nor double glazing.
I'm still here.
#pricecap
@Conservatives
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@godblesstoby
Totally normal women behaviour. In fact, I rub my thighs so often I’m in danger of starting a fire
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Speaks someone who’s never experienced taking a child with autism out for dinner
Please stop putting headphones on kids and switch on a tablet when you go into a restaurant/cafe etc
No wonder kids are struggling in social situations nowadays if we actively avoid engaging with them. 😭
Like I’m seeing kids walking looking at a tablet.
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Someone with a massively compromised immune system maybe, you throbber
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My daughter has publicly shamed me on FB with this.....She’s 29 ffs
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@RachaelvsWorld
I asked the Home Economics teacher if the 2 tablespoons of water in the recipe were heaped or level. She sent me out the room! No sense of humour 🤷🏻♀️
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No it’s happening because all pupils were asked not to wear flags. Flout the rules pay the consequence.
"I think it's happening because of discrimination, Islamophobia... The headteacher should resign."
The father of Yahya, the Muslim pupil at the centre of the row between parents and Barclay Primary School in Leyton, explained to 5Pillars what allegedly happened on Children in
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How I loathe these performative tw*ts
If you stand with humanity, BOYCOTT these products that support the ongoing genocide of Palestinians. 🇵🇸
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The fucking brass neck on it
Happy Rosh Hashanah to Jewish communities in Islington and beyond.
May the new year bring you and your loved ones health, peace and joy.
Shana Tova!
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Good grief! You’d think Johan Cruyff had never been born
Serious question, is Virgil Van Dijk the greatest Dutch player of all time?
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My bowel screening has come back all clear so it’s back on the diet of pork pies and whiskey. Hooray!
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Anyone with a modicum of intelligence and no desire to find an excuse to Jew bash knew that all along
Hamas casualty numbers are ‘statistically impossible’, says data science professor
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I know longer care about pleasing everyone so here goes: Dancing in the Streets by Bowie and Jagger is absolute garbage
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I’m drunk in a posh toilet and the waiter has knocked 10 years off my age so that’s nice isn’t it
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I’ve been here 5 mins and I’ve already seen 2 whippets. Hello Yorkshire
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My sweet 17 year old autistic son has plucked up the courage to tell me something that happened to him yesterday: he dropped a paper bag( not good, and he knows better), only for a grown man to rush at him with the bag over his fist, punch him in the face and shout at him to put
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Well that’s cheered me up no end that has. Put a proper smile on my face
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It may not look to some but my neurodiverse boy who has learnt to manage social situations like a flow chart ‘ if someone says x you reply y’ sent this spontaneously a few days ago and I’m still welling up over it. So proud of how far he’s come.
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It’s times like this when you grudgingly think Boris was right about those water canons
🚨Westminster Bridge totally blocked. No traffic moving at all.
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Thank you for your wonderfully kind messages. I’m so lucky to have found the very best corner of this place filled with the very best people 🥰
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Proportionate responses to incidences, what a bloody shame some adults haven’t. 😡😡😡
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Is there such a thing as too much sausage?
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My 82 year old dad has given up smoking for his ‘long term health’. You’ve got to admire optimism like tat
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I’m not taking posting advice from Frankie Howerd
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The American mind cannot comprehend this
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My dad is 83 today. He’s survived prostate cancer and a triple bypass and he’s still fitter than me!
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I overheard a male police officer tell my abuser “she pushed your buttons” as a reason why he smashed my head against a wall so hard it made my nose bleed.
This is a very harrowing story about police failures and the death of a victim of multiple episodes of domestic abuse. More evidence that we need a public inquiry into institutional misogyny within the police.
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In other news, all done with the hospital. All the nasty stuff contained and removed. Now I just need to get my stamina back 😊
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I am lighting this yellow candle in memory of Israel Szwergold of Kalisz who was murdered at Helmno in 1942 aged 15
#yellowcandle
@YellowCandleUK
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It in the bin. My lovely boy was too shocked to do or say anything ( he wouldn’t say anything, he has a speech and language disorder). He doesn’t want me to do anything about it, he thinks he ‘deserved’ it for littering🤦🏻♀️. My lovely boy has worked hard to understand
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Happy New Year to all you fabulous lot. Hoping it brings you health, wealth and happiness xx
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