iCod
@icod
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Sausages are always ‘award winning’, aren’t they? Exactly how many sausage award ceremonies are there?
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My Christmas wish is for them to stop putting these pointless bags in LFT boxes
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Waitrose. Red trousered posho has face mask only over his mouth. Builder behind him “there’s no point in having it like that, it’s like only having a condom on your bollocks”. (Posh guy placed mask over nose)
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Holly Willoughby is definitely the kind of girl who always played centre in netball and was the Virgin Mary in the nativity play
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My husband is away all week and I’ve just badly under stacked the dishwasher and put it on
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Tesco. In my head, I look cool and Parisian.
In reality I look like the prospective conservative candidate for Guildford.
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I’m not saying it was a big night for my son and his friend last night, but front door video footage shows them trying to unlock it with a bus ticket
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Men. Stop. Qualifying. Your. Support. For. Women. By. Reference. To. Your. Daughters. For the love of god stop.
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I still maintain that nobody called them Mixtapes in the 80s, in my world they were called compilation tapes
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My wonderful father Jack died at lunchtime today. It was a privilege to care for him at his home over his last days. He loved and was loved, right until the end.
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Face scrubs aren’t the same since they went all environmentally friendly.
Who can remember that aapri apricot one from the 80s that took your face off?
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Every year there are a couple of primary boys described as 'really sweet but a bit geeky and not so popular with the others' and I secretly engineer a class setting and friendship between the two and this makes my whole career valid.
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I’ve just seen one of Jack M*nroe’s ‘recipes’ 🧐 You wash tinned tomato hoops and put cheese on it.
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Sad to hear Lynn Faulds-Wood died. Another chance to admire her fab wedding pic.
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Saw a mate who’s an experienced primary teacher the other day.
The two things she’d say to parents of young kids?
1. Get off your phones
2. Stop making excuses for your kids and do something about it.
3. Get off your phones.
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On mumsnet they are arguing about clothes women wear in the gym and someone has used the term “mid drift “ for midriff and it’s all kicked off
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Is anyone else getting phantom DM notifications? And there’s no message there? 👻
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I wonder who wrote that Holly Willoughby thing and signed off that are you okay line - it’s just horrible.
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A man just called me “a good girl”. I wonder how many men in their late 40s will he called “good boy” today by total strangers 🤔
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What was your university dissertation on, and was it good? I found mine recently and it was quite terrible. (Anglo-American relations during the Falkland War)
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Things we kids were scared of in the 70s: quicksand, piranhas, the Bermuda Triangle. You never hear of them now do you?
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Some of you will have enjoyed this before: but an annual showing of my late 70s bridesmaid dress is never wasted. Brown cord, sandals with socks. Northern Scotland.
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Great news. After a suspicious mammogram with no other symptoms a biopsy and a vacuum excision (IKR!) i am officially cancer free. 🎉
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Why do people care about Morrissey's opinions? To me it's like asking Johnny Hates Jazz about Syria
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My eldest has only gone and got a GRADUATE JOB in a global pandemic! Ridiculously proud. (Plus he can pay his own phone bill then!)
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Everyone knew about the post office scandal before last night, they didn’t they? Surely?
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He’s only gone and done it! To add to his nerd-tastic 10 grade 9 at GCSE, he’s got 4 x A* and he’s off to Cambridge. He’s done it *all by himself*.
#boastingdontcare
.
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Collected dad from hospital and took him home. He recovered from Covid as a frail 86 yo. We’ve really come so far.
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What a moving obituary > Nicholas Hitchon obituary
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Well, they lost which was sad. But he scored a try! Hearing a stand chanting your surname is A Thing! 😀
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My son 2 is 19 today! Last year he was *so* low we weren’t allowed to even mention it. No presents, no meal, nothing. I spent a lot of that week sobbbing silently, but what a difference a year makes! IT. GETS. BETTER. 🙂
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Getting my car back from my son today with a nerve wracking key exchange at Warminster station.
His plan is that I alight the train as he gets on, passing me the key, and he then continues home on the same train.
What could go wrong?
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A head went to visit a dying colleague. And tweeted pics of him by the bed, praising his own staffing policy. My mind is blown at the crassness
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Business idea - skincare range for the over 50s with MASSIVE FONT SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE USING 👓
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Took a lovely pic with my mum. In the cold light of day it looks like I’m holding her hostage. 😀
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Dinner with son (23) last night. He couldn’t remember any of the Hairy McClairey dogs. “Read to your kids” they say. Waste of bloody time.
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If you had to dress up today as the book *you’re* reading at the moment, what would you look like?
#WorldBookDay
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Today’s My Big Day at work. After two months of phone calls and zooms in June /July, 280 little 11 year olds arrive for their first day 😍
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The fact that families don’t have a laptop per kid and unlimited Internet access seems unfathomable to many. This is reality.
“It's a huge problem the government hasn’t addressed.”
@EmmaHardyMP
says vulnerable children in lockdown haven’t got the equipment to do their work online.
She fears by the time classes resume they'll be “at even greater disadvantage.”
#COVID19
:
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Omg omg! He pleaded guilty. Sent off for reports covering all options including custody. 🎉. I can tell you now that he had previously served 10 years inside for grievous wounding. DELIGHTED
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Kid spells it “sacarafice”. I write “alright Elton John”. Kid approaches desk “Miss, who is Elton john ?” 🤦🏻♀️
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He got a first!. Business mgmt at Brookes. Let’s just say there were *many* times at secondary school we couldn’t have imagined this!
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I had a fabulous day out with my mother, she did 2 miles though the bad streets of Bath. Ate a massive meal and did not fall asleep on the train home
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@jmwatkinscook
I can’t be arsed Jane, I was just passing by on my way to buy some mushrooms.
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The fact that everyone still going on about
#nationalservice
shows that their plan has totally worked, because no one actually talking about the things that matter
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All of the Jonas brothers look like they’ve never actually met their wives before.
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My dad would have been 87 today but he flippin went and died. So I made a cake last night for mum and I to have anyway. ☺️
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It’s been a great week for my rugby son, finishing his exams and winning the inter-college rugby trophy for the first time in 63 years
Lol at his grin
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Apart from these pieces being tedious, they’re now verging on the insulting to the millions of us who have been going to work all sodding year.
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Some of you might remember that my beloved stepped in to prevent a homophobic assault in a pub on a quiet Monday evening, almost 2 years ago
It went to trial, but the bloke changed his plea when he saw that people were willing to give evidence against him
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Omgbpmg omg. Just got a vaccination phone call, I’m off to the cathedral now! Person on phone was a parent from work. 😍😍
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Seems my self diagnosis of terminal breast cancer was somewhat misguided. I’m fine, but a reminder to everyone: if it feels weird go check it out, they couldn’t have been nicer.
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My dad had a stroke in the summer: cue immobility. Today he tried out a scooter at
#shopmobility
and wept tears of joy at the freedom! 😍
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Watched my son play today. I’m 5 foot 7. He’s 15, voice not fully broken.
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My mother, who took us on holiday to Portugal during a cholera epidemic in the '70's, has cancelled our proposed trip to London tomorrow.
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Private school bias annoys me almost as much as when somebody says that they should send the “brightest of the state system” to private schools - no fuck that. Send the really tough kids with dysfunctional home lives. See how they cope with that
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So it’s Fabio‘s 15th birthday. Not bad for a cat who was run over before he was one, spent most of his first five years visiting primary schools pubs, the Olympic torch ceremony and local marathons.
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I don’t know where to start.
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The
@Telegraph
letters has been riffing about long lasting clothes all week until Simon popped up
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The Ladybird book exhibition
@LBFlyawayhome
at the
@VictoriaArtBath
is incredible. Not only is it fascinating to see the beaituful images, but it was rather moving. We had lots of convsersations with other guests discussing how evocative and powerful the pictures were
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What’s the biggest myth you hate? Mine: pasta takes 12 minutes. I’ve been here since the Miners’ Strike
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I’ve spent the last 24 hours sobbing roughly on the hour every hour. Combo of work stress, son going and lockdown. I feel loads better because everyone’s been kind and/or told me to man up. Nothing to say apart from it gets to us all sometimes. Normal service now resumed.
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Well, good news. My mum’s colon cancer from Feb last year has gone according to tests, so she can limber up for my intense walking training regime. ;)
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