stu
@rinbcage
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This account doesn't exist. Try searching for another. | dreams: @dream_stu | he/him
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Pinned Tweet
Wow, apparently Alfred Hitchcock could shoot rope for 8-10 minutes at a time
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My coworker pulled the grill cloth off some "vintage speakers" and found this
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The "cone" is an absolutely insane shape. What if a triangle was a circle. A nightmarish vision from the deranged mind of H.P. Lovecraft
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When I was 16 my dental hygienist told me she doesn't like when all of the Beastie Boys say the last word of a line at the same time
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listen up everyone we're changing the century thing. from now on the 18th century means the 1800s, 17th century is 1700s, and so on. we're not doing the weird subtraction thing anymore. we're changing it. it's over
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"Everything's fine," the babysitter said into the phone. "But can I cover up the weird clown statue in your hallway?"
"Get out of the house, I'm calling the police," the father urgently replied. "You have disrespected my clown statue and I hate you."
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Philip K Dick movies all have names like CORTICAL IMPASSE and are based on short stories called like "Let's See What's Going On Down at the Brain Factory"
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*playing a California Raisins record for a friend* Pretty good right? These are raisins playing all the instruments
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I was wearing a Run-DMC shirt at the time. My dental hygienist probably didn't talk to many of her patients about 80s rap, but the one time she did she totally blew it
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They hid Grimace away for twenty years only to wheel him out in a grotesque and desperate bid to sell milkshakes. This is elder abuse
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Stop saying you're gonna move to Canada if Trump is elected. Grow up and threaten to kill yourself like an adult
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I don't care what the song says, the Ghostbusters don't have any jurisdiction over an invisible man. That's just a guy. They aren't allowed to bust him
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"well what about stuff that happened between 1-99 AD?" that's the 0th century you ding dong please do not try to outsmart me
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@PKernaghan
Haha apparently the lady who had them found em on the side of the road or something. We did not buy them from her
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The movie Space Balls is just a total ripoff of Star Wars except it's like they don't take anything seriously at all. A total goof fest
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Also after civilization collapses we're gonna give Metric Time a try. This will probably negate my great new century thing but that's the cost of progress
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Schrödinger's Pizza, when unobserved, finds itself in a state of quantum entanglement wherein it's both delivery AND Digiorno simultaneously
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me, realizing that my passivity has ruined and will continue to ruin every aspect of my life: meh
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People are yelling at me like I have any authority to make these changes. Well, I do and they are fools to voice dissent against my Kingdom of Time
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hey this is my coworker's photo, listen to his cool-ass psych band
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Sometimes you have to wonder what Cheech and Chong were smoking when they came up with these skits
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First time seeing this picture of King Crimson where they look like Sugar Ray
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Hieronymous Bosch waking up in the middle of the night to write "little guy who's like a bell or something" on an index card on his nightstand
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I saw a menu that said "artisanal pizza" so if anyone ever asks you what art is, you can confidently say it's anal pizza.
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Who's the idiot who called it cowboy clothes instead of ranch dressing?
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Songs used to be by Billy Joel. Nowadays there's no way of knowing who's doing songs anymore
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lot of folks talking about homestuck in the replies. love it. used to watch strong bad emails every day in middle school, I put a limozeen sticker on my first synth. homestuck runner fans unite
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Imagine getting your skull smashed open in a cave somewhere and 9000 years later everyone starts calling you the Cheddar Man
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@kylieGjansen
I had a friend in high school who would pronounce baconator like speedometer as a joke, and then that just became my default way of saying baconator
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*playing Apples to Apples* what the heck, this isn't offensive. these cards are lame and not funny. i wish the cards were.. against humanity
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My wife sold her lush, beautiful hair to buy me a bag of hotdog buns. And foolishly I sold my prized hotdogs to buy her a bag of hotdog buns
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*tune of "we're not gonna take it" by twisted sister* I deserve a present
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The classic episode where the Enterprise gang visits a JC Penney portrait studio
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at some point in every man's life he says to himself it's time to stop fucking around and start making some puppets
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Hey babe, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Did you meet God? Is God real? Babe? BABE? ＰＬＥＡＳＥ ＭＡＫＥ ＭＥ ＵＮＡＦＲＡＩＤ ＯＦ ＤＥＡＴＨ， ＢＡＢＥ
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my friend added me to a Paranormal Hauntings fb group and it's positively bonechilling
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@oldfriend99
I don't know, that's kinda the fun of it for me. It's almost as though the pictures are "moving"
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I want friends like Mr. Rogers had, where they'll travel all the way across town to show me like a train whistle or some shit
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I don't think that we're all going to die one day.
I'd like to believe we're all going to die on different days.
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Fat Bastard made two perfect movies and retired from acting forever. A true legend
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whoops, accidentally dug up the grave of some guy named Tim E. Capsule
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i like the dreamworld that appears to exist under the keys of my electric piano
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hello I made a reddit to prove that my friend who took the picture is telling the truth on reddit about taking the picture. He's the guy from the post. Have a cool day........ -stu 😎
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*Kicks science lab door down* HEY KIDS I'MA SHOW YOU HOW "COOL" SCIENCE CAN BE *submerges face in liquid nitrogen and shatters it on a desk*
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Hello 911? I've found a body on the street! Yes, it's still alive, it's walking around and talking and- My God, there are bodies everywhere!
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I accidentally bought a Thai version of Sims 2 and I can't understand what any of the characters are saying
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The word "cinema" derives from the title of the 1992 film Encino Man
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*Wins Mario Kart* *Pops open Pizza Pringles can like champagne bottle* *Pours it all over myself* *Basement gets infested with ants*
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woke up cause I had to draw what it would like if you tied a balloon to all the numbers
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Mr. 3000 (2004): A retired baseball player (Bernie Mac) finds himself on his 3000th birthday unable to die. He tries various methods of terminating his own life, but is foiled in every encounter. Will he ever attain final rest? Comedy, 187 minutes
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FUCK- Philip Seymour Hoffman would've been such a good Stephen Bannon in Judgement at Nuremberg II
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Deeply saddened to see the news, because my dad has the remote and won't change it to something cool like a cartoon or a movie
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the guy who does the voice of Sideshow Bob also does the voice of Frasier
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The crawlspace should be called the "crawls place," because it is the "place" where the homeowner "crawls" around
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"Take it off!" I yell to a stripper after she asks if she can skip work Saturday. I'm a nice manager. Candy's a good kid.
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Watched a bit of Shotgun and everyone's mostly using swords so far. I bet he gets a shotgun at the end though and starts blasting everyone's ass
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SECRETARY: Someone called while you were away, sir, they said that "the man with the hat is back." Oh, and "this time he's bringing his dad."
ME: [growing visibly concerned] Thank you, Stephanie
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Someone stole my birthday cake. Those candles are mine, criminal. Even if you blow them out that wish still belongs to me, dipstick
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This is the day on which we rebelled against a country 6000 square miles smaller than Illinois and lived to tell the tale.
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