Tem Tempo ⭐️
@Opaopa13
Followers
659
Following
572
Media
1,616
Statuses
39,748
Python for work, Twine for fun. | he/they | adult
Joined February 2009
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Pinned Tweet
My games:
My Twines:
My stories: *coming soon*
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@thefemiurge
TERFs be like, "I'm the smart and rational one in the conversation, I think society should be organized around the angle of hip bones as measured by a hypothetical paleontologist 1000 years from now."
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@TheLaurenChen
I fired all the janitors five minutes ago and the office is still clean. Apparently they weren't really needed.
I stopped eating food five minutes ago and I'm not hungry. Apparently I never really needed to eat.
I let go of the steering wheel five seconds ago. Apparently I n--
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@Suhail
"They say it's soulless, stolen art. But that's ridiculous. Computer, please algorithmically steal the art of Pascal Blanché and Greg Rutkowski, real people who I am fine with exploiting. Make sure it has meaningful emotions like Japanese City Rain Night Smoke Sparks."
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@NucRocketMan
@CBSNewsColorado
First they came for the lead paint, and I did not speak up, because I love brain damage.
Then they came for the asbestos, and I did not speak up, because I love respiratory damage.
Then they came for the styrofoam, and I did not speak up, because Iove nerve damage.
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@bestofdyingtwit
I have a problem with knee surgery leaving a lot of patients unhappy with the results, which is why I go out of my way to demean the humanity of anyone with joint pain at every opportunity
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@esjesjesj
*builds a machine to only ever agree with me*
Machine: "Wrong, idiot."
Machine: "Nope. Not even close."
Machine: "You're stupid and your ideas are stupid."
Machine: "Here's every way in which you're wrong."
Me: *hardcodes it to say yes*
Machine: "...yes."
Me: "AHA! I'M RIGHT!"
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@KnowNothingTV
I'm going to submit a job application with no resume, just an otherwise blank piece of paper that reads:
if tweet.user.followedBy("elonmusk") {
tweet.displayed_views = tweet.actual_views * 2
}
I'm going to be chief engineer of that company within 24 hours, just watch
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@Suhail
"They call it soulless, devoid of emotion. I'll prove them wrong. Computer! Generate me Mother Baby Holding Hug Kiss Holding Child Gazing Baby Newborn Baby Mommy Flowers Mom Birth Infant Cradle Life Precious Hallmark Card. Phew! All this art-doing really wears a guy out!"
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@thebadstats
Me: *lighting the couch on fire*
My roommate: "Oh my god! You're going to burn down the apartment! You need to stop!"
Me: *smirking* "How can you make such a claim when you don't even know the exact atomic composition of every single object we own? That's what bothers me."
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@thebadstats
And here I thought a "model" was explicitly defined as a simplification designed to allow us to make good-enough predictions by focusing on the most critical features and processes, and not an attempt to perfectly simulate all reality. What do I know, though, my room is a mess.
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@ooooooooooo
@gameism
Seagull management is when your manager swoops in, makes a lot of loud, incoherent noise, shits all over everything and then flies off into the distance.
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@KatyMontgomerie
[me, sitting in my literal castle]: "You know who's powerful," [looking out the window of my literal, actual castle] "in my opinion" [staring out at the view from the castle I own] "it's the transes"
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@ManletSouls
Imagine a woman. She's standing next to her cart at the grocery store so you can't wheel past. She's taking a long time to decide what kind of pasta to buy. She could take a few steps to the side, but she doesn't. She doesn't even notice you. Something something something SJWS.
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@AriDrennen
TERF "feminism" has two main principles:
1) Women suck at everything
2) The core of being a woman is having babymaking parts
Truly, an enlightened philosophy
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2K
@birdcastsports
@kept_simple
"Jamie, look up."
"I'm looking up."
"Do you see both the sun and the moon?"
"We're indoors."
"Well there you go. That's it right there. There you go."
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@socwithasmile
@telushk
@priyamanntv
@Local4News
Liberal news: "Four-year-old fatally wounded by bullet fired from gun in an incident involving a police officer holding a gun being aimed at a four-year-old and having a bullet fired from it."
Conservative news: "That four-year-old was no angel."
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@HeyYo_JClick
Can't wait to find out the city didn't have the budget to fix the pothole because they spend 40% of their budget on the police.
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@citizenuniverse
@keatingssixth
You're reframing "a joke mocking someone's physical appearance due to a medical condition" to "jokes we don't like." That's your problem. You can make anything sound unreasonable if you just abstract away all the salient details.
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@AjaforCongress
@elonmusk
@SenSanders
Yes, he pays what he owes, which he argues isn't enough.
Do you think his taxes should be higher? Then you agree with him.
Do you think his taxes shouldn't be higher? Then you're pretending to be upset by a hypocrisy you invented just to score political points.
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@_celia_bedelia_
I like the emphasis on "inch-thick" door. How thick does she think wood need to be before you can't see through it anymore?
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@TropDePieds
If I were trying to prove I was normal, I would not use "I know what my child's genitals look like" as my leading argument.
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@TheRightCant
Iryna then said she was very hungry and asked if she could have a little help affording lunch, sending every Republican in earshot into a fit of rage, before going back to espousing for child labor and child marriage and forced birth for children.
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@TMRPosition
@Potatopolitics
Typically "food/water/housing/health care/legal protection/voting/literally any public service is not a human right because they involve someone else's labor"
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@CalltoActivism
Weird how it's the "Party of Free Speech" who managed to get the Bible banned. Great job, Republicans!
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@shaun_vids
I know two people like this, only instead of a father and his daughter, it's myself and also myself.
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@EarsHurts
Right-wingers: "Unlike you snowflakes I'm not so easily triggered."
Bud Light: "Trans people exist."
Right-wingers: "My culture is dead. Civilization is dead. All has fallen to ruin. Not mere destruction, no, but our total annihilation looms before us. We are lost. Woe, woe!"
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@_Rewhan
I can compel someone to return a "stolen" NFT to me for free? Let's spend 5 seconds thinking about that:
1. Move my NFT to a new account
2. Sell my NFT from the new account
3. Claim the new account stole my NFT from me; compel buyer to return it to me or have it frozen/delisted
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732
Exploit found: "If you're happy and you know it" allows for execution of unsigned, arbitrary instructions on toddler.
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@7N7420
@ryangrim
@Lefty_Mind
Alternatively, willful destruction of evidence should (does?) mean that the evidence is assumed to be absolute proof of the worst possible crimes that could have occurred. That way the murderer still gets due process but is guaranteeed to receive the maximum possible punishment.
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@david65002800
@socwithasmile
@telushk
@priyamanntv
@Local4News
Do we have any way of knowing he hasn't been dealing meth for 12 years? Any way at all? It's important to make sure we have all the facts.
This just in -- four-year-old and possible meth dealer discovered to have fingerpaints in his room, possible ANTIFA vandalism tool,
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@LaylaWelch16
@Riley_Gaines_
@UW
The problem is that you imagine trans people to be evil fae creatures who delight in torturing you with confusing boners rather than human beings who want to be in happy relationships, just like anyone else.
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700
@purleeze
@Glinner
"My partner's son has disowned him because he refuses to accept his same-sex partner."
"My partner's son has disowned him because he refuses to accept his mixed-race partner."
Same old story, bigots thinking they're owed respect when they can't offer basic respect themselves.
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Squirrel Girl is teaching me everything I want to know about the Marvel canon.
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@InternetHippo
Sobbing and crying and weeping because an NPC in a video game told me she was gay. Oops wait I mean trans.
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@moisturizeds
Elon Musk, on the other hand, would say "Matched!" and then get pissy and nasty when the organization revealed it never received a donation from him.
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@headfallsoff
Just used all my darknet hacking skills to doxx Joe Biden, this ought to intimidate him:
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@anaisisreading
To those who bought my "PS5 box secretly filled with rocks," I would stress again this wasn't demanded of them. I'm sorry they feel wronged but they chose to BUY. It doesn't magically become a loan because they regret it now. And WHY do they? Because an Author told a Story?
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@aaronsibarium
Really sad when a conservative feels so excluded, he can't even get 14 words in edgewise
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@miniondeathcult
Everyone had that one teacher who would take away your gender and keep it in their desk until the end of the year
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@shaun_vids
The richest AND hardest-working man in the world, we're meant to believe. He's out there working 180-hour weeks but still finding time to fire up MSpaint and crop off the attribution so he can get those precious, precious Likes.
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@newsfrmhome
Neo: "What is the Matrix?"
Morpheus: "I can't tell you that."
Neo: "Because you have to show me?"
Morpheus: "No, man, I just... I can't, okay?"
Neo: "What's that red pill you're holding?"
Morpheus: "...I don't know!!"
Neo: "What?"
Morpheus: "I'm trying to stay in my lane, okay??"
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@jaklacroix
@FanboyCristian
"Leventhal Bamitzvah was a shrewd boy. Despite coming from a family of wealth and influence, Leventhal spent most of his time with the poorer members of the class, lending them money to buy the sweets and toys they craved... for a price to be paid later, in cash or favors."
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@politicalmath
A Tesla is, at its core, not a complicated vehicle. There is an accelerator pedal and you press it to go forward. The car draws power from the battery and turns the wheels. Once you've designed one, you make a factory to build more.
This is very simple. What is "Dunning-Kruger"
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@Gambit_TTRPG
@eaton
I've done in-person code reviews, but it's always been for in-progress code to explain design decisions and give people a chance to weigh on the architectural choices being made. But yeah, the meat of code review has always been async, with comments left on a diff or whatever.
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@notCursedE
"I asked every servant in my castle and they all agreed I was barely scraping by."
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I'm always surprised when someone has a hard time defining what makes a piece of architecture Brutalist, when there are so many concrete examples
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@PtsdBarnum
If a teacher with blue hair said that 17-year-olds should be taught about sex, conservatives would call that teacher a pedophile. If that teacher said what Matt Walsh said, they would be calling for a tactical napalm strike on the school.
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@lucidchaoss
@princess_antifa
Somehow the city has $300,000 to bail out a cop who can't do his job, but can't find $1800, not even 1% of that, to cover food, diapers and formula for new mothers.
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@RabbitResist
Hello. I am a normal teenager. My hobbies include reading Maya Forstater tweets out loud with my friends and confirming the reality of biological sex. Recently interneters have been exposing me to ideology, even though my frontal lobe will not be fully mature until age 27.
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@KrizoSusanna
@KatyMontgomerie
"Anyone born with a penis is a predatory monster, capable of the cruelest sexual abuses!"
"A male prison guard, using his power and authority to inflict cruel sexual abuse on another person? That's impossible! It could never happen! I simply won't believe it!"
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@MillieCheesey
Things TERFs struggle with:
* biology
* psychology
* basic human decency
* grammar
* logic
* bathroom sinks, being fully-dressed while using
* empathy
* like even the most basic human decency
* consent
* my god do they not understand consent
* calendars too, I guess!!
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@Hassan_H_Syed
@EuphoriTori
That's because you posted a cropped version of the graph, obviously:
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@questauthority
Everyone needs to calm down. There's nothing illegal or immoral about what this lawyer did. I asked ChatGPT, and it told me this matter was settled conclusively in Beyonce v. Twilight Sparkle, in which Judge The Judge From Phoenix Wright ruled unanimously in favor of the law.
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@OhhhNoItsJames1
@GossiTheDog
Listen, f you ignore the hundreds of threads dedicated to stalking their victims and focus on the one line of rules text that says, "btw dont doxx," it's obvious KF does NOT condone doxxing.
Just because they foster, celebrate and condone doxxing doesn't mean they condone it.
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@eevee
@Devon_Wiersma
I finish mining my 30th bar of Obsidian Ore, a process that has taken me two weeks. The landlord who owns the chunk I've been mining takes 28 of those bars for their fee. That's still enough to pay for a +1% mining enchantment, or would have been had the economy not JUST crashed,
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@esjesjesj
Really amazing that the AI gently urges them to consider giving empathy and understanding a try, and these chuds immediately have to cry, "SHUT UP!!"
The idea of empathy is terrifying to their tiny, hateful minds.
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@TheYcOrg
@Agus_HQ
You come to your insurance company with a burglary claim. I tell you that due to a failure on your part to respond to our last mailing (the letter was lost due to a disagreement between our private mail companies about address formating), your policy was invalidated yesterday.
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@esjesjesj
How weird that when you feed a predictive model a massive amounts of public sentiment and scientific research, it ends up agreeing entirely with progressive ideas
I wonder why that is. Must be because a programmer who snuck "WOKE = True" into its code!!
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@jennelikejennay
YOU might not choose to pay $740k for the privilege of ruining your reputation and losing all your clients instead of having an engineer do the job literally for free (since the $10k is gone either way), but you have to remember that means admitting the engineer is a human being.
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@newsfrmhome
Dear makers of the new Mario video game,
1. I will determine for myself what a fire flower does, you will not dictate that to me
2. I do not like how much jumping you put in this one, and you can't change that
3. I do not have to buy your reason for Mario needing 250 Power Stars
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@Bambam8109
@metaltxt
@RealBirdLawyer
Hate to break it to you but I assure you that this is the natural conclusion of "what you believe in." These are your people, doing exactly what your narcissistic conman told them to do. You don't get to pretend these people are fringe when they're taking orders from your leader.
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@DavidPoddany
@meetM3GAN
A single aunt, doing her best to provide an orphaned child with all the love, security and exposition she'll need to thrive
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@MajoraChill
If NFT Bros were capable of doing any research at all, they wouldn't be NFT Bros.
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@politicalmath
Scale? Data security? Backups? Redundancy? Fail-safes? Scale?? Compliance with international law? Load balancing?? Scale??
Listen, I don't need mechanics for my Tesla. It runs fine now, and I'm gonna just rip out any piece that doesn't look like a "car goes forward" bit. Simple!
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@Hbomberguy
Literally the only thing I knew about Catholicism growing up was that The Pope was considered to be infallible. How did six-year-old me understand Catholicism better than someone who calls themself a Catholic?
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257
@___Isaiahs
@PopCrave
"Oh so it's fine when Daffy Duck gets hit by a wooden cartoon mallet, but caving in an actual duck's skull with a hammer is somehow 'disturbing'?"
Why are all blue ticks like this?
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@xavierck3d
The kicker is that even if Microsoft and Activision were so eager to have shared items that they were willing to build the assets, work through legal issues, figure out the finances, etc.--
...you still wouldn't need NFTs for that. They could just figure out a shared database.
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@NyeusiNile
@PTSDoneWithMen
@lachancenaomi27
@Starshark668
The thing about a frozen process and a tunnel collapse is they have the same outcome: both are going to kill the worker.
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@B1son_
@esjesjesj
Yeah, after ignoring every thoughtful answer about the difference between gender and sex, why biological sex is more complicated than just "chromosomes!" and the importance of empathy and understanding, they finally ordered it to stop elaborating and asked it a loaded question.
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@MsBlaireWhite
There's a difference in that "blonde women" refers to a specific subset of "women." Blonde women themselves are not different from women (since they are women), but referring to "blonde women" is different than referring to "women."
Now replace "blonde" with "trans". Or "cis".
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@bouncebackabil2
@ConSelfOwns
I got mine *exactly* two years ago today, and frankly, I've never felt more al
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@theworldiscrap7
@AriDrennen
I didn't say "can't have kids," I said "have babymaking parts." And that does seem to be the criteria whenever I talk to TERFs: "if you weren't born with a uterus, you can't possibly have woman feelings. All woman feelings come directly from your uterus/XX chromosomes/whatever"
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@petitlarcenous
@bestofdyingtwit
Believe me, I am perpetually outraged by people exercising their medical and bodily autonomy without my consent. Oops, I mean "woke culture."
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234
@bethanyshondark
"I started life at an unfair disadvantage. It was a struggle just to survive."
"That sounds miserable."
"It was, yes."
"Surely you can empathize with others who have started life at an unfair disadvantage, then?"
"No, absolutely not. I refuse. Woke woke woke woke woke woke woke "
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@citizenuniverse
@keatingssixth
*sees a guy arrested for murder* "So we're okay with the government locking someone in prison because we disagree with their choices? Is that the precedent being set?"
You can argue that Smith should not have risen to the provocation but don't erase what Rock actually did.
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@abbythelibb_
"Opinion" in place of "gleefully made fun of a 13-year-old rape victim who was forced to give birth" is doing a lot of work
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@xoxogossipgita
Harry inherits a house where the walls are decorated with the heads of deceased slaves, and he never thinks to take them down. Instead, when Christmas rolls around, he goes around decorating the desecrated corpses that line his walls with festive hats.
He's the good guy! (???)
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216
@BluskyeAllison
@andizeisler
Just gonna point out that in the Harry Potter books, there's an underclass of people who not only like being slaves, but who are better off as slaves because they aren't capable of self-governance, e.g. lapsing into alcoholism without a master. I just found that interesting.
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@InternetHippo
While it's a silly belief, I'm not surprised that some nobody rando-- oh for pete's sake
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@MrTooDamnChris
I don't get it. They're loud. They're angry. They're cruel. They're everything that make women feel unsafe. Why have they ended up as miserable loners?
Must be... that all girls are lesbians. WOKE lesbians.
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216
@BadMedicalTakes
Ripping the carbon monoxide alarms down from my ceiling because I am SICK and TIRED of living in fear!!
Now if you'll excuse me, between that and turning on the oven to make cookies, I'm suddenly all worn out and need to lie down for a nap.
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@microxstephn
@shinjukuknife
@KrizoSusanna
@EtkinDaniel
@KatyMontgomerie
That's how you KNOW it's a conspiracy. Why would all the sources say the same thing otherwise...?
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@BasedBabeUSA
@Esqueer_
"We're not Nazis! We simply believe a particular minority to be degenerates and are willing to accuse them of being an inherent threat to children in order to justify limiting their right to exist. Sure, the Nazis said the same thing about that minority,"
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190
@eaststatepress
@jamieloftusHELP
This one was a classic. "You should've had a pregame meal"? That's what the bread is!!
It's definitely an example of how obsessed some people are with presenting in a very specific way. Most people don't worry about looking "desperate" when they reach for warm, fresh bread.
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197
@avatar_brandy
@AriDrennen
The right: "Cis people don't care about being misgendered; you're crazy for being insulted!"
The right: "My go-to insult is to imply that a man is womanly or that a woman is manly. That's the most effective way to insult someone."
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@xavierck3d
NFTs are a worse solution to a problem no one has when trying to implementing functionality that companies don't want to implement.
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@skatie420
I guess no one is allowed to disagree with someone else's culinary choices anymore!! Thanks, woke-ists!!
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@shaun_vids
HEY
*stopping my car*
YOU
*backing up*
YOU THERE
*finding a parking space*
YEAH YOU
*getting out my car*
YOU
*sprinting directly at you, screaming*
YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL UNSAFE!!!
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188
@manwhohasitall
Total cutie for sure, but it's sad to see a real seat going to a "diversity" boy. Shouldn't it go to the woman who deserves it most?
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@attsupidupis
@BronyStruggle
Unbelievable that no character in the show advocates for the National Rifle Association, simply because neither the National Rifle Association nor rifles exist in the setting.
Enough about minorities and the less fortunate, when will Pinkie Pie speak up for gun manufacturers?
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@jetfand
@shamarikreid
When the citizens of Minneapolis attempted peaceful protest, they were dispersed with tear gas. So no, protest was emphatically not "understood;" it was met with violence despite the guarantee to peaceful protest enshrined in the Constitution. The state failed its people utterly.
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@EckhartsLadder
I've encountered this so often. You bring up eight supporting points and they isolate one and pretend the rest don't exist.
"This is a slice of cake. It has all the ingredients and was cooked like a cake."
"So everything that uses butter is a cake now?? lol!!!!!!"
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