Keaton Patti
@KeatonPatti
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I've written for @NewYorker, @Marvel, @TheOnion, @ComedyCentral, @McSweeneys, but mainly for you, the reader. 👇Check out my bot book!
Joined January 2012
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of a lot of stuff and then asked it write a whole freaking book and it did. With scripts (old & NEW) + all new formats (Shakespeare, poetry, horoscopes, and more)! Out on Nov. 17th (just in time for Thanksgiving)! Link in bio to order!🤖
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If you're not signed up for the Panda Express loyalty program, you're really missing out on some great deals.
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The moment before Joe Biden strangled Bill Nye while whispering, "Science isn't real."
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Jerry: I'm in Nosferatu's thrall. George: You're in his thrall? Jerry: I'm in his thrall! George: Get out of his thrall. Jerry: You can't get out of a thrall. That's the thing with a thrall! You're never through with the thrall! KRAMER BARGES IN Kramer: Well, I got the plague!
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This year's Kevin Spacey Christmas video is the wildest one yet.
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There's no way the Joe Rogan Trump interview will be as crazy as the Bernie Sanders one.
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"She was Indian all the way and then all of the sudden she made a turn and she went, she became a Black person. Anyways, do you want any ketchup?"
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If anyone is an Emmy voter out there, consider voting for The Oscars and Jimmy Kimmel Live, two shows I was fortunate enough to write for. If you're not an Emmy voter, I still love you, but please do better.
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How frequently are people asking The Blue Man Group these questions?
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