andi zeisler
@andizeisler
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Writer, editor, @BitchMedia cofounder, speaker, author, WE WERE FEMINISTS ONCE. I look like your cousin's friend or your friend's cousin. I love your dog.
Portland
Joined May 2012
I’m old enough to remember two weeks ago when mobs of white people armed themselves to the teeth and stormed state capitals to cough on cops because they wanted haircuts and apparently that was fine???.
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I’m seeing people ask things like “But if there are no police who will go after RAPISTS???” and well I have some very bad news for those folks.
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JK Rowling really could have just remained a wealthy, beloved author for the rest of her life. And she chose Twitter instead. Incredible.
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Spoiler: it’s the racism
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Using the descriptor "convicted rapist" rather than "disgraced producer" would be a good start.
⚡️ “Harvey Weinstein: What's next for the disgraced producer?”.
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Listen, some pundits may say that it was unsporting for Elizabeth Warren to kick off this debate by ripping Mike Bloomberg’s arms off and using them to punch him in the dick, but i respectfully disagree.
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Female politician: <exists, is serious>. "Why is she so unlikeable?". Other female politician: <exists, is fun and outgoing>. "How are we supposed to take her seriously?". You guys aren't slick.
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yes that's literally the point.
The richest could lose hundreds of billions under Elizabeth Warren's wealth tax
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The conservative ethos distilled: It's not a problem unless it happens to me, and when it does happen to me I am absolutely outraged that other people let it happen to me.
Meghan McCain had a baby and now realizes that the US needs paid maternity leave, she explains on The View. She says personal experience helped open her eyes.
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The takeaway from this piece isn't the term "self-partnered" but the fact that you can be a BAFTA recipient, UN goodwill ambassador, and beloved icon of a generation of women and people will still ask if you feel like a failure because you're 30 and not married with kids.
Emma Watson has said she prefers to call herself "self-partnered" rather than single as she approaches her 30th birthday.
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Does. does he mean “people”.
White House adviser Kevin Hassett: "Our human capital stock is ready to go back to work." #HumanCapitalStock
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This is only startling if you’re not a woman but sure.
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This picture just tried to recruit me for both a multilevel marketing scheme and a threesome.
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This is why net neutrality is a big fucking deal.
In Portugal, with no net neutrality, internet providers are starting to split the net into packages.
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Quick fun fact that lens is called misogyny.
Not to get into a shamelessly lazy-pundit mode here. But the male friends I have thought Pence did, on the whole, way better than the female friends I have. Worth understanding the lens through which you are viewing this stuff isn’t universal.
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Blue Lives Matter folks are so very very quiet right now.
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I don't know who needs to hear this but YOUNG WHITE GUYS GET ONE FREE RAPE is an indefensible judicial stance.
No jail time for NY school bus driver who admitted to raping 14-year-old girl. The judge says the 26-year-old has no prior arrests and there was one victim, so the sentence was appropriate. #KHOU
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<steps to mic, clears throat>. THERE ARE NOT “TWO SIDES” TO AN ACT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT THAT WAS LITERALLY CAPTURED ON CAMERA FOR EVERYONE TO SEE.
The man accused of slapping @wsavalexb's backside while she was on the air is telling his side of the story. In an interview with @InsideEdition, 43-year-old Tommy Callaway says he went to wave to the camera and got caught up in the moment.
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Fight the power, queen.
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Jim Jordan's energy can be best described as "extremely angry former wrestling coach who definitely ignored sexual abuse".
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Heard my boyfriend in the other room say YOUR MOTHER TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THAT and it turns out that my kid and his friend accepted balloons from a clown on the street.
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“Why don’t women come forward?” part 2 million and one
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Media: People love Trump because he’s not afraid to tell it like it is!. Lady comedian: [tells it like it is]. Media: OMG SET HER ON FIRE.
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I admit I was not prepared for Nicki Minaj to kill Henry Kissinger, but at least he’s dead.
The fact that y’all have no idea what’s about to happen.
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Hell yeah I'm a PATRIOT. P ay.A mericans.T o.R emain.I nside.O f.T heir homes.
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If Pat Robertson didn’t want his enemies dancing on his grave he could simply have chosen not to die during Pride Month
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FUCK HIM UP, DICTIONARY DOT COM
The n-word is considered the most offensive word in the English language. “Straight white male” is . not.
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Have. have you seen Bambi.
“Maleficent: Mistress of Evil,” is a children’s movie with a death toll. It's a far cry from children's movies in the age of "Bambi."
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So uh is there a betting pool on who at the NYT is the subject of a soon-to-break exposé by Ronan Farrow.
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Channing Tatum getting thoroughly shook by astrology and interrupting himself to tell people to go to therapy is, as the kids say, a big mood.
Yo anybody know of this shit and can explain it to me! Cause WTF!
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In case you ever, EVER believed that the "pro-life" movement was about anything other than punishing women.
Texas lawmakers consider the death penalty for abortion
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The train just passed a field full of cows and no one in our car said “COWS” so I whispered it to myself. Just not ready to find out what happens when cows are not duly acknowledged.
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Me this morning: I have zero interest in anything monarchy-related but I’ll probably watch the interview . Me 20 minutes in: I will fucking fight the queen.
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Portland has finally used its overwhelming whiteness for good 🥍.
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He invented the site so he could rate his female classmates' looks but okay, sure.
Invoking Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King Jr., the Vietnam War and the First Amendment, Mark Zuckerberg cast Facebook as a beacon of free expression in a defiant speech dismissing critics of the site’s role in spreading disinformation
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Stop paying them less than men
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Show me a man who marries a sex symbol and I’ll show you a woman who spends that marriage being slut-shamed and told it’s her own fault.
Kanye West Told Kim Kardashian That Her "Sexiness Hurts His Soul" In An Argument About Her Met Gala Dress. "You are my wife, and it affects me when pictures are too sexy.".
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For the last time: NO ONE IS WASTING THEIR STASH ON RANDOM 8-YEAR-OLDS IN THIS ECONOMY.
Police urge parents to check Halloween candy after THC-laced "Nerds Rope" edibles found
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Perhaps this is a good time to talk about all the perfectly legal ways the wealthy are both allowed and expected to manipulate college-admissions systems while teaching their children to disparage "affirmative action".
US Attorney re the Huffman/Loughlin (among others) college scam: "We're not talking about donating a building. we're talking about fraud.".
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Someone once asked me if having a child changed my views on abortion. I told them it did: It made me infinitely more certain that pregnant people should have a choice, that a child should be a blessing and not a punishment. Happy Mother’s Day💐
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Imagine how much time could be saved, and how much harm avoided, if we didn’t wait for a male researcher to confirm something that feminists have been saying for decades 🤔.
Science says toxic masculinity — more than alcohol — leads to sexual assault.
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2016 "I'd totally vote for a woman, just not Hillary Clinton.".2017: "I'd totally vote for a woman um but not this one either."
Kamala Harris, a rising Democratic star, faces a problem: the Bernie-wing of the party is skeptical of her
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George Zimmerman is somehow always trending and it's never because he's dead or in prison and I for one am tired of it.
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<every woman on Twitter turns and stares directly into the camera>.
The one thing I have no patience for is dudes (it's almost *always* dudes) who spend 15 minutes on something you've been studying for 10+ years and act like they've solved Fermat's Last Theorm.
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This is the only Roy Moore headline any outlet should be running.
BREAKING: Roy Moore, accused child molester, announces second Senate run
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Got a call from my kid’s school and lolsobbed with relief because “There’s technically no rule against it, but he was giving another student a haircut” feels almost like a blessing today.
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What if people get TOO healthy, what if that happens huh.
Elizabeth Warren’s Medicare for All plan risks unintended consequences such as overuse of health care, @Greg_Ip writes
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IF WE DON'T LET MEN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT TO OTHER PEOPLE WITH NO ACCOUNTABILITY THERE WILL NEVER BE MALE GENIUSES AGAIN is a hell of a take to have in the year two thousand and nineteen
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“Shot himself in the meat department” would really have sufficed fine here.
Arizona man carrying handgun in waistband shoots himself in the groin in Walmart meat department
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I think I speak for many cis women when I say that our actual greatest locker-room fear is getting stuck in our sweaty sports bra with no one around to help free us.
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Wow guys you really misspelled “being paid by a conservative think tank to front a disinformation campaign that the media can portray as a catfight between two teen girls”.
Meet the anti-Greta, a young YouTuber campaigning against "climate alarmism"
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I am once again begging everyone who does not actively need to be involved with the ocean to leave the ocean the hell alone.
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Phone banking is a cool thing to do if you ever want to realize just how many men do not want you to talk to their wives about politics.
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Because I keep seeing people dismayed at how far Yoffe has fallen since she was Dear Prudence, a brief refresher
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Fuck it just open the thing, we probably deserve whatever’s inside
A Massive, Black Sarcophagus Has Been Unearthed in Egypt, And Nobody Knows Who's Inside
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“No shit” — women.
Women who speak in public are expected to give a no-room-for-error performance never expected of men
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JESUS EAR-CANDLING CHRIST JOE SHE IS LITERALLY HANDING YOU THE WORDS IN ORDER.
"I think what [Anita Hill] wants you to say is 'I'm sorry for the way I treated you' not 'for the way you were treated." -@JoyVBehar. "Well, I'm sorry the way she got treated. If you go back and look at what I did and didn't say, I don't think I treated her badly." -@JoeBiden
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@ARTschorn I’m not taking fashion advice from a guy who looks like he runs the bumper boats at a segregation-themed amusement park.
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Hello hi hey there it's your occasional reminder that brands engage in things that resemble social-justice activism not because they care about actual social justice but because they want you to buy their shit instead of the other guy's shit, brands are not your friend, good talk.
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I don’t see myself getting over this 1976 photo of Martha Stewart anytime soon
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I’m old enough to remember when every single one of these dudes spent hours each day assuring us that Trump would pivot and become presidential and grow to respect the gravity of the office, as though we didn’t have perfectly good eyes and ears.
"Let's be frank: a national nightmare is upon us," @ChuckTodd said tonight. "The basic rules of our democracy are under attack, from the President."
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For the hundredth time: That is not how you spell “rape”.
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Would you call this . [lowers sunglasses]. Orcanized crime.
Another orca repeatedly rammed into a yacht near Scotland as their boat-bashing behavior appears to be spreading north
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In retrospect, Red Dawn did not properly prepare Gen X for a future in which politicians and pundits were like "Stand down Wolverines, let us tell you why Russian aggression is actually good for America".
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Sinéad O'Connor was canceled—*actually* canceled—for telling the truth about sexual abuse in the Catholic Church. She was right and she was punished because people didn't want her to be. I truly hope she has found peace.
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Not a big drinker but I do not understand Dry January, like why would you pick an objectively miserable month to stop numbing yourself to the horror of <gestures to everything>.
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"A 2015 investigation by the Buffalo News, based on a national review of media reports and court records over a 10-year period, concluded that an officer is accused of an act of sexual misconduct at least every five days."
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Woman Fairly Compensated For Performing Skilled Labor.
NYT: Elizabeth Warren earned "hundreds of thousands of dollars over roughly two decades beginning in the late 1980s, mostly while she was on the faculty at Harvard. Much of it involved representing big corporate clients."
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If you tell me you’ve gotten a decent night’s sleep in the last month I’m going to assume you’re either a wizard or a sociopath.
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@thetzechun @AlexandraErin “I apologize if I threw you in the trash can” is exactly what someone who *knows full well* that they threw you in the trash can would say.
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Guys listen I am really and truly thankful for Hilaria Baldwin; my mom died this weekend, and a celebrity mess that has no political or medical urgency whatsoever but *is* absolutely batshit is exactly the level of distraction I need 🙏🏼.
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Kurt Loder was never a VJ, but he *was* an adult who never fucked around with the news or condescended to his audience and I appreciate the hell out of him.
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A short list of things that are not synonyms for “feminism”. Being a woman.Having a successful career.Being a mother.Having women friends.Doing a job women weren’t always allowed to do.Legislating away other women’s bodily autonomy.
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Personally I feel that one of the best decisions I made in college was to keep my half-baked political and philosophical opinions to myself and listen to/read people who knew much more than I did.
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Ah yes, “WAP,” the storytime classic shared with delight by parents and children for decades.
Why is a song called “Wet A** P***y” not considered inappropriate but Dr. Seuss is?.
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Twitter, show me the literal embodiment of entitled brogressive egotism.
I asked Aidan Cook, an animal rights activist who jumped onstage to interrupt Kamala Harris, if he had considered the optics of literally taking the microphone away from women of color. “I did,” he said. “I tried to show my profound respect for each of the people onstage.”
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I think it’s possible to acknowledge three things: that Kamila Valieva is a spectacular skater, that she should not be taking the blame for doping, and that she should also absolutely not be competing.
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Bitch we JUST finished a civil war, slow your roll
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Yes, Michael Bloomberg is a racist, sexually harassing, out-of-touch billionaire who bought his way into the primary, but I would like us to remember that he also has the charisma and debating style of a golf pencil.
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guys OF COURSE the sexual predator doesn’t take no for an answer.
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Notable that this verification clusterfuck is happening in large part because online contrarians decided to pretend that “blue check” was synonymous with “elite liberal scold” rather than with “account from a user whose identity has been confirmed”.
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If you don’t understand by now that the sexual assaults Trump has committed make his base like him even more, I’m not sure what to tell you.
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please by all means do keep asking how victims of sexual assault will fare if we defund police departments.
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