manwhohasitall
@manwhohasitall
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Satire account. Satirising the patriarchy since 2015. Agent [email protected] Also Facebook, Insta, Bluesky https://t.co/OPKFc11AZG
Joined May 2015
FLIPPING PATRIARCHY will be published on 6th March 2025. Pre-order today!. Thank you to everyone who pledged to support this book as early as 2022 and helped to make it happen. Your name will be printed in the back. Together we are making men's history.
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My friend is a history teacher. She's compiling a list of great historical figures and she needs a male to add to the list. Suggestions?.
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Thanks all, but she has decided not to add a male historical figure to her list just for the sake of it. History should be gender-neutral.
My friend is a history teacher. She's compiling a list of great historical figures and she needs a male to add to the list. Suggestions?.
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When it comes to shoes, it appears the Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry have similar taste
When it comes to shoes, it appears the Duchess of Cambridge and Meghan Markle have similar taste:
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CONGRATULATIONS to childfree brunet Geraint Thomas, age 32, set to win the #TourdeFrance today. Healthy hair, easy midweek suppers, fighting the 7 signs of ageing, cycling. How DOES he does it?.
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I'm interviewing a male professor about what it's like to be a professor at the same time as being a man. What should I ask him?.
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"Having a son has taught me how to respect men." Claire, CEO.
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MY DREAM: That one day boys will become anything they want to be – male spacewomen, male chairwomen, male actresses and gentleman doctors.
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GENUINE QUESTION: Is there a creche at the England v Croatia men's game tonight? With so many young fathers on the pitch and in the stadium, just wondering who's looking after their kids.
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I'm interviewing a male academic about what it's like to be a academic at the same time as being a man. What should I ask him?.
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"I can't believe anyone would accuse me of grabbing a handsome young man's penis. My own father is a man." Claire, CEO.
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Mr Gove confidently flaunts his figure in a thigh-skimming power jacket & cropped high-waisted trousers, proving older men can be relevant.
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"I resist the natural urge to grab my male employees by the testes because I have a husband, son & father. Otherwise I would." Claire, CEO.
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CONGRATULATIONS to emotional superdad Novak Djokovic, age 31, father of 2, for winning the Men's Final today at Wimbledon. Kids, simple family suppers, fighting the 7 signs of ageing, tennis. How DOES he does it? #wimbledonfinal.
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"Will you STOP calling me a 'male scientist'? I'm just a scientist!" shouts angry John, bringing his gender into everything as usual.
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How to be a Handsome Man. Be thin.Be able to cook .Don't be too thin.Listen to women.Wear blue.Love almonds.Be thin.Stay at home.Be quiet. Stay classy gentlemen!.
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TODAY'S DEBATE: Has Donald Trump's incompetence set men in politics back decades?.
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Mr Gove confidently flaunts his figure in a thigh-skimming power jacket and cropped high-waisted trousers, proving older men can still be relevant.
"It's absolutely vital that we focus on getting the right deal in the future" -. Michael Gove happy to stay in government amid #Brexit agreement fallout
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"We don't use men in our clinical trials because controlling the effects of the testicles would be too difficult. So we just use normal humans, i.e. women." Caroline, scientist.
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A small but not unimportant matter. What should a man with a doctorate call himself? Without sounding comic and fraudulent. Advice please.
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MY DREAM: That one day boys will become anything they want to be: male firewomen, gentleman taxi drivers, male surgeons or boy bosses.
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TODAY'S DEBATE: Has Donald Trump's incompetence set men in politics back decades?.
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MY DREAM: That one day boys will become anything they want to be – male oarswomen, men writers, male spacewomen, men poets and gentleman doctors.
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Should schoolboys be told to hide their shape in loose fitting trousers to create a non-tempting work environment for female staff?.
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CONGRATULATIONS to the 8 men appointed to the Science & Tech Committee for getting there on merit alone. Very well done mates.
We are pleased to announce that our membership has been confirmed and @CommonsSTC is up and running:
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"Don't assume that someone with the title 'Professor' is a woman. Men can be professors too," says angry Rob, making everything about gender as usual.
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My book has sparked a national conversation about empowering men to be thin, silent and grateful. YOU GO BOYS!
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My wife actively participates in the care of our children. She even volunteers to give them a bath or put them to bed on her own sometimes! I'm SO lucky.
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"I'm not hung up on the term 'camerawoman' because I know it refers to both women & men." Jon, age 46, male camerawoman.
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Working husband and father? Feeling overwhelmed? YOUR FAULT. Drink more water, get up earlier and dress in your 'wow' colours.
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"I'm automatically attracted to handsome men — I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the penis. You can do anything." Claire. politician, CEO and TV celebrity.
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TODAY'S SCIENCE: Baby boys are naturally more interested in looking at faces, whereas baby girls are naturally more interested in politics, economics and STEM.
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MY DREAM: That one day boys will become anything they want to be – male firewomen, gentleman taxi drivers, male surgeons or boy bosses.
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Hats off to second-time dad Novak Djokovic for claiming his first major title since welcoming a baby daughter last year. Fatherhood, natural hair, a career. How DOES he do it? #AustralianOpenFinal.
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"Don't assume that someone with the title 'Doctor' is a woman. Men can be doctors too," says angry John, making everything about gender as usual.
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"As a woman with no sons, I find it hard to respect men." Cathy, mother of no sons. Thanks Cathy.
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CONGRATULATIONS to Joe Biden for becoming the 46th male president on merit alone. You go boy!.
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HARRY'S SKIN TAKES CENTRE STAGE. Prince Harry embraces his natural freckles on his wedding day. Gorgeous. #RoyalWedding2018
Prince Harry and Prince William are in St George's Chapel waiting for the #royalwedding to begin - watch it live here:
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Does anyone know a male comedian? My sister is putting on a comedy gig and needs a male for the line-up. He has to be funny. Suggestions?.
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"I resist the natural urge to grab my male employees by the testicles because I have a husband, son and brother. Otherwise I would." Claire, CEO. What a lovely woman! Bravo Claire.
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MEN! Accentuate parts of your body you like e.g. good legs, to draw attention away from problem areas e.g. the things you do and say.
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I'm writing a letter to Dr Biden and her husband Joe. How should I address it?.
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"Will you STOP calling me a 'male cyclist'? I'm just a cyclist!" shouts angry Dave, bringing his gender into everything as usual.
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"Is your wife a big kid at heart? Mine is. I tidy up after her and organise her life. Sometimes it feels like I have 4 kids, not 3!" John, busy dad of 3.
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MEN! Accentuate parts of your body you like e.g. good legs, to draw attention away from problem areas e.g. the things you do and say.
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IMAGINE what men could achieve if they didn't spend so much time on cleaning, laundry, meal prep, tidying, childcare, holiday planning, school admin and remembering birthdays.
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TODAY'S DEBATE: Should 102 allegations of penis grabbing REALLY finish one woman's career?.
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To all men with a brain. Don't try to hide it around women! It's OKAY to be a man and have a brain. Some women actually find it attractive.
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"I'm not hung up on the term 'spacewoman' because I know it refers to both women and men." Tim, age 44, male spacewoman.
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5 years ago today I joined Twitter! This account proves that men CAN actually be quite successful. With the right mentoring, tone of voice and outfit, we can be anything; men entrepreneurs, male leaders and boy bosses. Thank you for following and supporting the male cause.
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"I'm not hung up on being called a 'firewoman' because I know it covers both women and men." Sam, male firewoman #FirefightingSexism.
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"I actually don't mind helping my husband with the housework, as long as he tells me what needs doing and when." Family woman, Claire, CEO.
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MEN! Accentuate your best features, e.g. piercing blue eyes, to draw attention away from problem areas, e.g. really horrible person.
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TODAY'S DEBATE: Has Donald Trump's incompetence set men in politics back decades?.
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Career OR baby? A choice facing so many men. I fully support all men's choices - busy dads, career men, crazy cat gentlemen and men who have it all.
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TODAY'S DEBATE: Is it right that 7 women decide what men should do with their reproductive organs? Or should an 8th woman get involved?.
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Career OR baby? A choice facing so many men. I fully support all men's choices - busy dads, career men, crazy cat gentlemen and men who have it all.
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TODAY'S DEBATE: Should we be cautious about electing men in future, in case we get another Trump?.
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I'm interviewing a male academic about what it's like to be a academic at the same time as being a man. What should I ask him?.
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MEN! Accentuate parts of your body you like e.g. good legs, to draw attention away from problem areas e.g. the things you do and say.
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Anyone know a man who has completed a PHD at the same time has having a child? I'm writing an article about how men juggle a family at the same time as research. Anyone???.
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"I'm not hung up on the label 'camerawoman' because I know it covers both women and men," Jon, male camerawoman, age 45. Very sensible mate.
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"Don't assume that someone with the title 'Doctor' is a woman. Men can be doctors too," says sexy little nurse Jack, who isn't a doctor.
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'Male tennis player' is NOT an offensive term. It is simply a way to differentiate them from normal tennis player. End of story.
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I'm writing an article called 'Why Joe Biden is the modern style icon every man needs.' What should I include?.
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"I resist the natural urge to grab my male employees by the testes because I have a husband, son and father. Otherwise I would." Claire, CEO.
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Marina Wheeler QC’s husband and father of 4 cleverly draws attention away from his plus-size figure with a bold accessory and poor speech.
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MEN! Accentuate parts of your body you like, e.g. nice ankles to draw attention away from problem areas, e.g. personality.
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Women and men are equal but different. For example, men are naturally better at remembering birthdays, arranging playdates, icing cakes, smiling and knowing when to clean the bathroom and we should absolutely celebrate that.
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Men's naturally bigger hands are perfect for cradling babies and hanging out washing. What else can men do with their lovely big hands?.
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ALL MEN! Are you washing your hair too much? Are your eyebrows insta-ready? Are your ankles prepped for May? Do you look fat from the top? Is it okay to be a person?.
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My friend is chairing a 3-day computer science conference next week. There are two men on the registration desk and one of the 63 speakers is male. Is this enough, or should she look for another male speaker?.
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Should male academics be told to hide their shape in loose fitting trousers to create a non-tempting work environment for the proper academics?.
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"I actually don't mind helping my husband with the laundry, as long as he tells me how to do it and when it needs doing." Family woman, Claire, CEO.
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Women and men are equal but different. For example, men are naturally better at packing the kids' clothes for holidays, cleaning behind the fridge, remembering birthdays and making sandwiches and we should absolutely celebrate that.
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"My wife refuses to do any cleaning and takes no responsibility for the kids. What should I do?" asks Ben. You should get up earlier mate.
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"My wife is actually really good. She irons her own tops and makes her own sandwiches for work." Steve, age 42. Wow! You're a lucky man Steve.
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"I resist the natural urge to pat my male employees on the bottom because I have a husband, son and father. Otherwise I would." Claire, CEO.
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GENUINE QUESTION: Does anyone know if there's a Men's Football World Cup?.
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Words are our way of constructing our world. Woman up .Grow some ovaries.You throw like a boy.Don’t be a willy.Stop being a boy.Don’t be such a man . Think about it .Being male is an insult.
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"I can't believe anyone would accuse me of grabbing a handsome young man's penis. I'm the daughter of a father." Claire, CEO.
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ALL MEN! Just a little reminder to SMILE today, because women like to see positive men! #internationalwomensday2018.
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"Don't assume that someone with the title 'Doctor' is a woman. Men can be doctors too," says angry Ben, making everything about gender as usual.
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ALL MEN! Did you know that an hour spent cleaning the bathroom burns 71 calories? Be thinner. Stay inside. Be quiet. And don't forget to smile!.
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Men's naturally bigger hands are perfect for cradling babies and hanging out washing. What else can men do with their lovely big hands?.
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ALL MEN! Did you know that an hour spent cleaning the toilet burns 86 calories? Be thin. Serve women. Be quiet. And don't forget to smile!.
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"Talking to men is a minefield. You have to avoid bullying them, patronising them and treating them like objects. It's exhausting." Claire, CEO.
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I'm interviewing a male surgeon about what it's like to be a surgeon at the same time as being a man. What should I ask him?.
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"Being called a policewoman doesn't bother me at all because I know it covers both women and men," Andrew, policewoman, age 40.
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"What amazes me is just how quick some men are to complain about having to do all the Christmas shopping, baking, card writing, decorating and organising. Don't they realise men in other countries have it a lot worse?" Alice, accountant.
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Genuine question: Is there a creche at the France vs Germany men's game tonight? With so many young fathers in the stadium and on the pitch, just wondering who's looking after the kids? #Euro2020.
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Working husband and father? Feeling overwhelmed? YOUR FAULT. Drink more water, get up earlier and dress in your 'wow' colours.
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PENIS STEAMING. To achieve a clean and balanced penis, squat over steaming water containing herbs such as cumin, cayenne pepper and chilli.
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STRESS-STRICKEN DAD? Did you know that drinking lemon water has many benefits? It releases the hormone that tackles structural inequalities.
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CONGRATULATIONS to the 30 men historians who discussed male history earlier this month @Stanford. Hats off to all of 30 of them for getting there on MERIT ALONE. Well done to ALL of you.
ALL-MALE HISTORY CONFERENCE. This goes for the GUINNESS BOOK of the century! A team of 30 white male historians will discuss Applied History at @Stanford . What a shame.
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IMAGINE what men could achieve if they didn't spend so much time on the cleaning, laundry, meal prep, tidying, childcare, caring for in-laws and parents, present buying, food shopping, holiday planning and remembering names.
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"My wife is great. She'll even take the kids to the doctors and dentists for me as I long as I book the appointments and remind her where to go and when. I'm SO lucky." Paul, busy dad of 3.
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ALL MEN! Are you thin enough for your summer holiday? Are you fully hydrated? Have you layered your skincare products in the right order? Do you smile 100% of time, even when you're sad?.
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"The word snowwoman is obviously gender-neutral and refers to ALL snowwomen, both female and male ones. If you insist on being awkward and making a male one, you can call it a male snowwoman." Kelly, linguist.
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