Michael Maiello
@MichaelMaiello
Followers
3,123
Following
1,298
Media
1,186
Statuses
50,403
… @tnyshouts , @mcsweeneys , @SpliceToday @forbes , @tpm , @esquire , @thedailybeast , @weeklyhumorist , @251Tweets , @bystanderTweets
New York, NY
Joined August 2008
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THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS
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श्री राधा
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#صباح_الخير_والحب_والسلام
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Pinned Tweet
It's a very great day for a comedy writer when I get to play with the
@BystanderTweets
crew. Check out this Amazon review of Neuralink:
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@JuliusGoat
I’m an ally wgho has never personally thrown anybody into a pit (and never would) but when you go on and on about pits it creates economic anxiety that turns other people into pit throwers.
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@JuliusGoat
Julius, I understand you’ve been thrown into a pit and possibly injured but I’m concerned about your incivility.
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@_dariussimpson
I should have been a pair of ragged claws/Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. -TS Eliot
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@mad4sci
@ImmCivilRights
We have a $20 trillion dollar economy and these are people seeking safety from barbarism? The solution is to let them in and the long-term rewards will be immense.
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@LHSummers
Until ChatGPT consistently argues for policies that hurt regular people at the expense of economic elites, you’ll be fine.
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@joshtpm
We’ve been admonished to try to understand and respect every false notion held by Trump supporters since the 2016 primaries and I am starting to believe thIs tactic is not bringing society together.
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@erichhartmann
@lhfang
@ShellenbergerMD
Oh, they’re not going to admit it. The goal was to rile up the MSNBC faithful to denounce the Twitter Files.
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@codeedog
@Alco_ca
@JuliusGoat
Dad got his degree in a pit. Sure, he died horribly, but he left us better off.
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@MJpapaTheCode
@Resist_05
The real issue here is it’s a political fraud — regulations thrust on people without specific accountability. Hopefully, farmers throughout the EU simply refuse and consent of the governed is restored.
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@joelgrus
@Heminator
Until the visionary Lin Manuel is held accountable for the crime of… storytelling… who can sleep?
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@AshaRangappa_
Given the century of history where the US “intelligence” apparatus has tried to subvert and dismantle left wing movements in the US, this is an insane demand.
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@rachel_maria65
@martyargyle1
Wanting to cut off food sales to normal Russians who are not consulted about starting wars (and whose children were conscripted to fight) is not sound thinking.
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@CeeZeeEm
@daeshikjr
Broke what law? What if the police are lying or exaggerating (as seems likely)?
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@JuliusGoat
If you’re ever lost in the woods you just say “America is a democracy” very loudly and one of them will find you to correct you.
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@mehdirhasan
So… you found three minor errors in all the Twitter Files reporting? Okay, Petty Mehdi.
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The Watchmen is trending because people are "embarrassed" to admit that the HBO series is how they learned about the Tulsa Massacre. It's not embarrassing to learn about something from art instead of a history book!
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BREAKING: Native Americans offer blanket amnesty to 316.1 million illegals.
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@SomersErin
It’s just like when Cesar Chavez gave up eating grapes entirely to write for Laugh In.
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@Wolfrum
@CohenProf
To be fair, it’s universities and biotechs that will cure this stuff and Pfizer will license/purchase the approved treatments.
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@AdamSerwer
@nerdoner
Fair! It’s insanely stupid to arrest people for drinking and doing drugs.
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@teresamccarthy
@Wolfrum
@CohenProf
Gotta save the tax breaks for economically productive businesses like... real estate rentals.
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As a prosecutor Giuliani popularized humiliating public arrests and perp walks of people he was then unable to successfully prosecute. He’s never even apologized.
I appeal to honest and fair minded Democrats to realize that “equal treatment under law” is necessary for domestic tranquillity.We are all Americans.The differing treatment by media and law enforcement for Trumps vs. Bidens and Clintons is a real problem for all of us to solve.
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When you watch Idiocracy and don’t get that you’re President Camacho.
Watch the opening scene of Idiocracy.
When I ask my friends why they’re not yet having kids (very few are), it sounds exactly like the movie.
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@Esqueer_
@bariweiss
@charliekirk11
You were also told that shadowbanning wasn’t real and that Twitter didn’t use it to censor people’s views.
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@michaelianblack
This whole thread is disturbing to me because 1. You were my favorite NFL Star and 2. I thought you and my mom had something special.
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@BostonJoan
@Dethtron5000
So, the government is going to wade into internet censorship, but will, I’m sure, do it’s best to claim it’s not “technically censorship.”
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@joshtpm
Do you think this is because we can’t face it? I mean, go back to 2000. We also knew that the Supreme Court let Florida rig the vote against Gore. But we never... you know... faced it. Do we collectively deal with massive election fraud by compartmentalizing?
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Does anybody remember that
@elonmusk
promised to stop manipulating stocks on Twitter after he lied about taking Tesla private?
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@Faytte
@bryanalvarez
You're being entirely too reasonable. Pick a show and childishly demand its nonexistence, now.
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Amazon Prime rep says that “A Rainy Day in New York,” the latest by Woody Allen, produced by
@AmazonStudios
, will be released before the end of the year.
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@jeremyakahn
@technology
The funniest thing about this story is that it uses jay walking laws as a precedent. We should never have passed laws that value cars over pedestrians in the first place.
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@J87358786
@josie_huang
@LASDHQ
All citizens have the right to observe and record and report the work of public employees, including the police.
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@DeeNadjkovic
@BikoMandelaGray
One of the failures of the PPP was the the gov’t avoided the implication of “free money,” when “free money” is exactly what the economy needed.
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@nerdoner
@AdamSerwer
Though, putting college kids in jail for experimenting with drugs or alcohol is insanely stupid...
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@mkraju
Hopefully Senator Sanders will stand up for the completely reasonable request for paid sick leave.
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@pixelatedboat
@christophpaul_
This very nicely sets up Fitzgerald’s planned sequel, “Gatsby’s 12.”
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@SpeakerPelosi
@PoliticusSarah
So… an adult can’t have sex with another adult and the enter into an NDA? What is the crime here?
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@reindeereks
@dennisbhooper
The $$$ quote: “I think the film editor must have died before she got a chance to work on “Tar.” If she didn’t, shame on her.”
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@EricHolder
Weird to see the man who needlessly and shamelessly prosecuted hero whistleblower John Kiriakou suddenly worried about the character of our democracy.
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@EDNYnews
Hang on... so if I Tweet that really old "See you at the polls on Wednesday, Trump supporters!" joke, I can go to jail?
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@charliespiering
It's so cute how you losers pretend to be real media and hold "editorial meetings."
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@BrandyLJensen
I want this paragraph rewritten as "I took my friend to Subway but he wanted Chipotle and I think it's because he didn't go to college."
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@PreetBharara
But, Preet... there are politically motivated investigations out there. Some investigations and prosecutions are not fair or right.
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@NYCPDDEA
So, you’re apologizing to Shake Shack and employees inconvenienced by phony allegations?
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@The_Golden_Jew1
@joshtpm
So many times that Gillibrand would be in her second term as president.
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@FOmyronpitts
@mtaibbi
@ShellenbergerMD
@bariweiss
And, yet… the government still pressured the social networks to suppress and remove user content. Which is really what matters.
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@Ize
@ColbyCovMMA
@TeamKhabib
You know you’re being ridiculous and that Colby would never have used the terms “filthy animal” and “sheep fucker” outside of this context. You ready to tap?
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@mtaibbi
I started as a fact checker at Forbes. It is not a job that lends itself to handing out Pinocchios and “Pants on Fire” rankings. Issues become ambiguous. Which is why good writers use storytelling to cut to the truth, which is more than an assembly of facts.
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@michelleinbklyn
@joshtpm
@misanthropolgy
@NellieBowles
Look, there are elements of this I plan to carry forward. Zooms with friends from far away, not spending most of my time in an office, telehealth for routine matters. But I also want to party.
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It’s hard to be a public Woody Allen fan these days, with so many easily swayed detractors willing to throw away the work of a great artist, but
@CathyYoung63
is a voice of reason against the madness.
OPINION | Woody Allen is getting a raw deal: A new documentary doesn’t present a fair picture, writes
@CathyYoung63
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@YKokonami
@wolfblitzer
@CNN
@CNNSitRoom
You mean the panicked violation of our civil rights and liberties that never should have been made law in the first place?
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@ubiquity75
I agree with a lot of your points, but Substack is no more a threat to journalism than blogging was. The problem with Substack and blogs is you have to have a following to make them work. They fail to elevate new voices.
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@flipyourface
Thank you for fighting the ghouls behind “Carrie Fisher died, here’s our computer version of how she kind of looked decades ago.”
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@mtaibbi
Imagine this in another context: An FBI agent at Walgreens calls the store manager to say, "These two customers are clearly married but ringing up separate transactions to double up on a BOGO deodorant promo. Not telling you what to do, but you should ban them from the store."
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@Wigand_Watkins
@rutheday99
@JSebsRib
@mtaibbi
@bariweiss
@Apple
Your content, such as it is, suggests that people, even when writing creatively, should exhibit only attitudes that would be acceptable to large corporate HR departments, if they ever need a job. You want to hang this on the word "bigot" but It doesn't apply here.
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Cuomo says he’s increased state burden for subway financing. But why has the subway deteriorated in the face of that spending?
#NYGovDebate
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@ScottPresler
@mtaibbi
Democrats wanted social media to muzzle a news organization telling an inconvenient story. That’s the real issue.
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@CaseyNewton
@MollyJongFast
Yay. Twitter is a platform, not a publication. Nobody who has ever worked for it has the editorial skills to moderate content.
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@ginnyhogan_
What are Biden and Trump going to do between concluding early bird dinner at Sizzler and the debate start time?
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@glenntongue
@unusual_whales
The thing with Tesla is… the cars only work with Tesla’s software. So, you have to license or buy it, it or they’ll brick your ride.
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@thefilmgoer
@latimes
Allen's supporters are mostly progressives, sympathetic to feminism. I object to a level of vitriol that has attempted to make it impossible for him to work creatively and reach his audience. It's gone from "I don't watch his movies" to "I don't want you to see them either."
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Why is
@HBODocs
attacking Woody Allen when they should be celebrating his work? It’s shameful.
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@joshtpm
If you're going to undermine this, you have to have the goods. This is right out of Bob Roberts, right up to Jack Black being involved.
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@joshtpm
“I officially drone strike my political opponent, who I believe officially deem a terrorist. He’s even on the no fly list, where I put him.”
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