my husband used to live on a farm, and the number of times he's told me something about pregnancy and then said, "well, maybe that's only true of sheep" i stg...

I’m not gonna tell you calling your Republican representative is pointless, but I will say, I’ve been calling Josh Hawley’s office every day for six years, and I still haven’t heard back about dinner

i can't believe i'm carrying a fetus on the front of me like i'm some kind of fucking kangaroo.

it's like no, i was right when I was a teenager, having huge knockers is much better

RT @FilledwithUrine: your twenties are for working towards a life you won’t want after 6 months

RT @itsqail: U could be losing your mind and check Kanye’s tweets then realize you’re actually doing alright

RT @TheOnion: Mitch McConnell Vows To Continue Falling Down Stairs In Face Of Fascist Takeover

I do not support Tulsi Gabbard, but I do admire a woman who bucks stereotypes & applies for a job she’s completely unqualified for

RT @krystalball: I’m a tiktoker now. I can’t have Gen Xer @ryangrim showing me up.

RT @Reductress: Incredible! Single Woman Brushing Teeth Before Bed Even Though No One Would Know if She Didn’t: htt…

I should add that Luigi is not my personal internet crush. NOT because I don't like italians. just because i don't like murderers. but I respect everyone's preferences.

RT @sydneyelainexo: i’m calling the police

@Refracture_ @tedcruz i always thought it was insane to call ted cruz's wife ugly, when the ted cruz himself was literally right there

RT @acry4helpp: we’re going in circles here

and kids

RT @AkilahObviously: If he’s getting rid of the IRS can he do it before I waste time on taxes pls