Exciting news! the "Yellow Book Of Poems Volume 2" (by me) is now available from only £4.85 + p&p for 149 pages. Everybody should buy it, although it's not as good as my first book.
I have just watched “Bedtime Stories” on CBeebies, with HRH Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge telling the story of Plop. Very uplifting story! I am old enough to remember when Prince Charles read “The Old Man of Lochnagar” on “Jackanory” in 1984.
#Plop
#CBeebies
@Richard_Spoor
I have never got drunk and "mooned" someone, nor set fire to a police car, nor driven while drunk. If I were to do so, I would expect to be punished accordingly. I wouldn't expect a mad person on Twitter to make ridiculous excuses as if it's only trivial
I don’t know who Nabil Abdulrashid
@Nabilu
is, or where he’s been hiding all this time, but he was hilarious of
#HIGNFY
this week. I hope he’ll become a regular. Is he from Croydon?
This does not diminish my opinion of Gavin Williamson at all. Gavin Williamson is an obnoxious pathetic nauseating arrogant adolescent who is already at the lowest level of the gutters of Hell. It is a disgrace that he ever became a government minister.
EXCLUSIVE: Christian Wakeford says Gavin Williamson is the MP who threatened to cancel a new school in his constituency if he voted against govt on free school meals
He's categorical: "It was Gavin Williamson" — then education secretary.
In the entire history of the NHS, every Conservative government in every single year has increased expenditure on the NHS. The only government to cut spending on the NHS in real terms was the Labour government in the 1970s.
#VoteConservative
!
@piersmorgan
@BenedictMPWhite
You are not being criticised for interviewing him. You are being criticised for shouting him down and constantly interrupting him.
@thequentinletts
@AlasdairIS
Most of my fellow Conservatives that I've interacted with in recent weeks say the same thing. Better to vote Brexit than to spoil the ballot paper, or to boycott the election.
@liamsolodebut
@LiamPayne
Top 3 reasons why
@LiamPayne
is the nicest 1D member:
1. He has the deepest voice
2. He is the most handsome
3. He wrote me a nice letter
@chrisdeerin
I can't speak for other Brexiteers, but I'm not barking with jingoism. I'm an internationalist, rejoicing in opening up to the whole world.
@BeckettUnite
No it wasn’t. It was a loving son assisting his frail elderly mother. It was also a method of enabling him to enter the Abbey without everyone having to watch him parading along from the western entrance.
Just think: every day closer to
@TomDaley1994
competing in the FINA diving competition in Beijing is a day closer to
@DLanceBlack
jumping off the 10 metre board 👏🇬🇧🇺🇸🇨🇳
The main clear impression that I got from
#InsideEurope
#TenYearsOfTurmoil
is that it has always been difficult to get other EU countries to agree to even modest concessions. The UK should be able to make its own laws, without needing to negotiate with EU. Confirms my Leave vote.
@QueerlyNiamh
If you think that’s an appropriate way for people to demonstrate or protest about the circumstances of someone’s death, then you have to understand that it is also subject to criticism by those who think that such behaviour is not appropriate. Freedom of speech works both ways.
#TheMissingChildren
If the government of the Republic of Ireland wants the world to think that Ireland is a modern civilised country, it must fully open the archives, allow the adoptees to have full access to their identities, and have a full forensic investigation of the bodies
One of the reasons I’m glad we have the professional British police in the UK instead of the trigger-happy psychos they have in American police forces
#24hoursinpolicecustody
@rchrisleigh
Then UKIP would have got 20% of the votes in 2015, the pro-Brexit vote would have been split, and Ed Miliband would have been PM under a Labour government.
@AlexPetrovnia
"...They are ancients, elders, witnesses to half a billion years of life coming and going. To be tall is not a virtue. To be small is not a sin. The Appalachians are eroding under the weight of time, slowly shrinking and returning to the Earth from which they sprang.” (2/2)
@MartinDaubney
Diane Abbott did not “block the extradition of” anyone, because she doesn’t have the authority to do so. It was the courts which did that, because the courts were upholding the law.
@theandydurrant
@thestorybeast
Why didn't he just take a small sip first, normally and properly, to taste it, instead of gulping a whole lot in one go?
#MurderInTheOutback
on C4 about the murder of Peter
#Falconio
was interesting so far, but I'm still waiting for the doubters and skeptics to explain
(if they think Bradley Murdoch is innocent)
how his DNA got onto Joanne Lees' shirt.
Will I still be waiting after 3 more episodes?
It is horrendous that the parents are casually saying "it's tradition" and "we've always done it" as if that's a rational excuse for mutilating non-consenting children without medical necessity
#ACutTooFar
According to various people on Twitter
(and of course Twitter is always 100% reliable),
Princess Eugenie
(a) was in labour 3 days ago
(b) gave birth to a girl yesterday
(c) gave birth to a boy today
I predict that she will give birth next week to octuplets
(5 boys & 4 girls).
@AlexPetrovnia
“The Rockies are new, young and virile and fresh from the Laramide orogeny, tall and lanky teenagers on the geological scale. The Appalachian mountains are old, formed hundreds of millions of years ago before the dinosaurs walked the Earth. ..." (1/2)
@dbuzz6589
@RevRichardColes
What a pity that the excellent piano playing was spoiled by the noise of an insane lunatic squawking and shouting all the way through
This afternoon, for the first time in my life, I went into a ward represented by Green Party councillors in Croydon 👏🟩🇬🇧 Congratulations to
@CroydonEsther
and
@Ria__Patel
and commiserations to
@GreenPeterU
, who would have been an excellent councillor
Soldiers who are deployed to maintain security in tense situations do not suddenly forget that it is illegal to shoot and kill unarmed unresisting civilians in the back.
#MassacreAtBallymurphy
Any Paras who committed those murders, and who can be identified, must be prosecuted.
#Corrie
#CoronationStreet
Leanne is really annoying me. She's completely deluded and unrealistic. I want Oliver to wake up, become a serial killer, kill her (and kill Geoff as a bonus) and then slip back into a coma.
@JodieWantsPizza
No it isn't. The picture on the left is Esther Phillips (1935-1984), and the one on the right is a Ukrainian model called Olya. The real Esther Jones died or disappeared in c.1934 and no known photos of her as an adult exist.
There isn't any law which says that victims of crime have to be articulate, or have perfect memory of all details, or be charismatic or likeable, or have to emote and cry constantly, or gave to give media interviews, in order to be believed.
#MurderInTheOutback
#Falconio
@DannyHackett
@BenKentish
The 72-year-old wasn’t jailed for selling mice pies. He was jailed for perverting the course of justice (trying to delete the CCTV evidence of the mince pie selling).
@PeterTatchell
If you ask my opinion, the original rainbow flag should suffice for everybody. The ugly flags are the multiple variations with added circles, triangles, pink / brown / grey stripes, chevrons etc. which are divisive and break us up into ever more microcategories.
@milehigherjoel
"The Rockies are new, young and virile and fresh from the Laramide orogeny, tall and lanky teenagers on the geological scale. The Appalachian mountains are old, formed hundreds of millions of years ago before the dinosaurs walked the Earth. They are ancients, elders,..." (1 of 2)
@milehigherjoel
"They are ancients, elders, witnesses to half a billion years of life coming and going. To be tall is not a virtue. To be small is not a sin. The Appalachians are eroding under the weight of time, slowly shrinking and returning to the Earth from which they sprang.” (2 of 2)
The insurance fraud by Dr Anthony McGrath is the most entertaining, most interesting, and most hilarious episode of
#24HoursInPoliceCustody
that there has ever been. I’m glad that
@Channel4
is repeating it so often.
@geohenleyreal
@emmhi0
It is scientifically impossible for anybody to hate Skandar. He is one of the most beautiful men in the world. Anybody who suggests otherwise is obviously insane.
@LackingSaint
Capitalism is the thing which has lifted humans out of absolute poverty and prevented those numbers from being higher. Those causes of death have been the norm for humans for tens of thousands of years.
@PaulBlack2022
@BBCAfrica
The headline doesn’t say “hero”; it says “fallen hero” i.e. that he WAS (past tense) a hero BEFORE he started murdering people
#SteeltownMurders
keeps alternating between 1973 and 2002. It would be easier to follow if they had the 1973 bits in sepia/beige tone, and the 2002 bits in bright colours. But they are both in the same beige colours without any differentiation.
.
@DLanceBlack
You made me cry. A lot. Or at least, your Mom did. Or God did. Or whoever. I read your book (in 3 days) and just now I watched the tribute film from her funeral. By the end of the 3 minutes 26 seconds I was blubbing. RIP Anne Bisch, RIP Marcus, RIP Iz Kamakawiwo'ole
@toryboypierce
Nothing ridiculous about protecting children from violence. I've never understand why it is somehow OK to assault a child but not an adult.
R.I.P. My father, Roland Cartwright (21st July 1926 - 27th October 2022). We are all lucky to have had him for so long, and in good health until only a year ago. He always liked being 3 months younger than the Queen, and was interested to see one more Prime Minister than she did.
@TitaniaMcGrath
Our modern prosperous peaceful progressive tolerant democratic society will never be truly happy until all our citizens are consumed by a frenzy of hatred and rage towards those who try to undermine our tranquillity and harmony by peddling their divisive dogma of open-mindedness.
@Branquita4
@qikipedia
Sub-atomic particles randomly pop in and out of existence, in pairs, out of empty space, and then annihilate each other again. If it happens near to the event horizon, one half can fall in to the black hole and the other half can escape. It takes light energy with it.
@JimReaper11
They would be amazed and delighted at how rich the people of Ireland have become, and how modern technology has transformed people’s lives for the better. Plumbing electricity internet television radio roads trains hospitals, clean water supply, gay marriage, legal abortion
@TitaniaMcGrath
You already do. You "earn" your money because people willingly pay for your product. Bankers (especially male ones) acquire their money by hierarchicalistic expropriation of excess value from the toiling masses and from imperialist colonialist plunder. It is scavenged, not earnt.
@HalifaxBank
Going out of your way to alienate and insult your customers, and telling them to take their custom to other providers, might not necessarily be a good business strategy.
@JoaquimCampa
@citnaj
Fascinating! Lots of people who died in WW1 or WW2. People who died in the Spanish Flu of 1918. People who died of old age in the 1950s & 60s. And almost everybody, everywhere, of all ages, and of both sexes, is wearing a hat! Hats are universal.
@4m4r_1
No it is not what most UK people feel. Most people don’t going around referring to Israel as “The Jews”, and most people recognise that Israel has the legitimate right of self-defence against the Hamas terrorists.
What next after Partygate?
Harrogate: lying about going to public school
Southgate: lying about coming from the Home Counties
Highgate: lying about taking hallucinogenic drugs
Stansgate: lying about supporting Tony Benn for leader
Postgate: a series of clangers
#MadeInKorea
#TheKPopExperience
Why are they being forced to struggle with such a high-pitched song when they have naturally much deeper speaking voices?
All 12 episodes of
#TheYoungOnes
(1982-1984) are available to watch on BBC i-Player. Everybody who hasn’t watched it yet should watch it, because it’s really cool and heavy, man.
@alexlowe51
@NickFerrariLBC
Well obviously the reason why Peter will be in the middle, between William and Harry, is to stop them fighting. It can't possibly be anything to do with being the oldest grandchild or anything
@ElectoralCommUK
Ridiculous idea. Deposit of £500 indicates that a candidate has resources for a proper campaign. Should be increased and/or index-linked.
@jessicaelgot
@jason_manc
The good thing is that it's not up to him. Abortion laws depend on what a majority in Parliament thinks, not what the PM says.
#Coma
Theory:
Jordan’s father will find out that Jordan has been blackmailing Simon
He won’t believe that Simon attacked Jordan
He will be angry with Jordan not with Simon
Yesterday I went to see "Endgame" at the Old Vic, starring Daniel Radcliffe and Alan Cumming. Afterwards I gave Daniel a copy of my Yellow Book of Poems, and did a selfie with him (slightly more successfully than in 2013).
@Ferng6Ferng
You asked about why someone would want to read stories to children. The clothing of the person reading the story is irrelevant, and therefore not a relevant part of the question.