Ivana Greco
@IvanaDGreco
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My day job is as a homemaker and homeschooling mom of four. I also moonlight writing about women and families, and advocate for stay-at-home parents.
Connecticut
Joined April 2022
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So pleased that this working paper on reforming social insurance and employee benefits to better protect homemakers has been published. Stay-at-home moms and dads are critical to the smooth functioning of civil society, government, and business. They deserve robust protections.
NEW:
@IvanaDGreco
on how robust family policy should “lean in” to ensure that families with one homemaker and one breadwinner can make the same use of social insurance and employer benefits as families where both parents work.
Read the full proposal:
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This photo is not of
@CRPakaluk
or her house, nor does she tell other women to have kids. But what’s most notable about this Tweet is that it is inline with the negative comments women with lots of kids get: at grocery stores, on planes … from random strangers on the Internet.
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Sen. Vance gave the single best explanation on the difficulties of being a working mom combined with flexible policy choices *based on what mom WANTS* that I have ever heard from a national politician. Amazing. Quotes below.
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Amen. Anti-child spaces ARE anti-women spaces. If it’s hard for a kid under 10 to be there, you’ve made it difficult for a large subset of women also. This goes for churches, but also museums, trains, airports, grocery stores, the local Social Security Office etc.
Anti-child spaces are anti-woman spaces. And if you whine about spending one hour of your week being inconvenienced by the noise/movement of a child whose parents are working very hard to bring their child to Jesus, straighten out your priorities. 2/
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It remains baffling to me that this counted (counts?) as feminism, if feminism is defined as being in favor of women’s interests and rights.
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Listened to a podcast episode with a homemaker who decided she wanted to get disability insurance to protect herself and her family. She was rejected because she was “just a housewife” and so there was “no loss if something happened to her.”
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I am very much in favor of paid maternity leave, but it excludes support for stay-at-home moms (many of whom do some sort of paid work) and moms who work part time and take care of their kids the rest. This chart shows it. We could use a better system.
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I wished the conversation around homemakers and working moms took better account of the fact that it’s not an either/or proposition, and often moms move in and out of the workforce depending on family needs. The *whole* family’s needs, including mom’s.
There are great benefits to having one parent home. But there can also be huge costs to family life when what’s considered “ideal” simply doesn’t work well for a family’s circumstances. I just hate for young couples to feel shamed when discerning what’s best for THEIR family. 6/6
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Tempted to start referring to this type of essay as “neo-sexist” in its refusal to understand that what was traditionally women’s work (home & children) remains vitally important and something families might reasonably wish one spouse to be able to fully commit to doing well.
Again I think everyone writing about neo-traditonalism on the right (here described as a "neo-patriarchy") would benefit from taking their eyes off the tradwife memes and looking at prominent case studies and sociological data:
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Currently 35 weeks pregnant and therefore at the stage where I need to start chopping vegetables for dinner at 10am, because if I wait until 4pm all I feel is overwhelming despair and *the best* anyone is getting for dinner from me is oatmeal (and possibly bacon if I got a nap).
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Just read an incredible essay on the “faithfulness of small things” necessary to being a parent. Our education system prepares us to “reach for the stars.” Then, suddenly upon having a baby, you abruptly realize it’s the little, mundane things that really matter to that child.
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Early childhood policymaking directed solely at outside paid childcare does not take into account the preferences of working and lower class families, who are likely to want their little kids cared for at home.
While policymakers have focused intensively on reducing the cost of childcare, less than one in five families uses paid childcare at all.
Lower- and working-class Americans are more likely to prefer having a parent at home with young children.
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“If a society says ‘having a job gives you status, and being a mom doesn’t,’ one answer is to ensure that mothers always have access to jobs and .. status; another answer is to simply say ‘no thanks, that sounds wrong’ and accord motherhood its own status”
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This is really fascinating and important research. Americans hate the economic pressure put on families to have two working parents. And yet, government mostly isn’t doing anything about it, even though this is a key issue for many.
12/ Americans overwhelmingly reject the argument that it's OK if families need to send a second parent into the workforce to maintain a middle-class lifestyle. Again by huge margins, they recognize the economy's trajectory as a big problem.
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It’s a shame that highly-educated mothers don’t often talk publicly about how they leverage their bargaining power into more flexible work arrangements. This may be because it’s a violation of ideal worker norms (or perhaps a perceived betrayal of prevailing norms of feminism?)
A “new inequality [in terms of realizing preferred fertility goals] has emerged in which educated women face less work/family conflict because their jobs are more flexible than lower-skilled jobs.”
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Really enjoying Ben Young's TedTalk titled: "Why Have We Stigmatized and Marginalized the Stay-at-Home Mom?" The below screen shot from the talk is the best description I've ever seen of how society often undervalues homemakers:
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Prepping to lead a women’s book club and so strolling around downtown New Haven with 17 copies of Flannery O’Connors short stories (along with a baby). As one does.
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Econ 101 convinces many families that it is more efficient to outsource as many household tasks as possible, in order to pursue career development and “higher value” activities. In a new essay for Public Discourse, I ask: what do we lose when we do that?
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Whatever the merits of Sen. Warren’s child care plan (and I’m dubious) it makes no provision for stay at home moms or dads. Thus, it isn’t either comprehensive or targeted to low income parents - who usually want to care for their kids at home or by extended family.
"Families earning $130K per year should receive a $35K subsidy to put their infant and toddler in daycare" is a heckuva vision for the nation.
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These supposedly feminist articles that take direct aim at married moms who are choosing to have large families and take family life seriously are actually ridiculously anti-women.
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Perfect example of why increasing "women's labor force participation" should not be the goal--helping families live how *they want to* should be the objective instead. It's deeply misguided to confound maximizing a metric with a good outcome.
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Read this superb new study this morning. I am again struck how clear the polling is that the majority of moms do not want to work full time, but that government and businesses are taking few steps to support that preference.
Mothers of parents with kids at home showed a big educational divide in their ideal work situation - 57% of GOP moms without a college degree, and 53% of Dems, said their ideal was to work part-time or not at all
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Or alternatively, you can live in a small house with grown-up and kids books piled everywhere, a bunch of kids to read ‘em, plus a puppy to eat a few every now and then, and embrace the chaos. Just saying.
my hot take is that this sort of space is romantic if you live in a place with affordable housing, but in places where housing costs have skyrocketed, living with a giant collection of books can be unpleasant. at some point, i switched to digital where possible
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I do understand this. We used to provide this care at home, and it was immensely valuable-but outside of the market economy. Then we devalued it and put it into the market economy, but it turns out it still is incredibly resource-intensive and so expensive to provide.
i don't understand this economy when nursing homes are so expensive they bankrupt our grandparents but nursing home aides need to use food banks.
daycare is so expensive it eats up one parent's entire paycheck and yet daycare providers only make $10/hr and need second jobs.
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Big day tomorrow, as we baptize our youngest. So special to wash and iron this multi-generational gown.
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“The Biden administration’s focus on getting homemakers into the workforce is short-sighted. It may improve GDP growth, but there is no reason to believe that is what American families want or need.”
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Kids are playing a pick-up baseball game with friends. 80% of the game seems to be arguing over the rules. I think this is developmentally important. Cc:
@FreeRangeKids
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@JHB_econ
Well-meaning lady at a party: “And of course you don’t want a glass of wine because you’re nursing.” Me: “Oh, I do. Want a glass of wine. Thank you.”
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This paragraph on the bane of rootlessness, workism, and money-driven goals to American communities is 🔥
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People think of stay-at-home moms as wealthy ladies eating bon-bons and watching soaps on TV. This is a *much* more typical SAHM: had a special needs child, she and her husband worked their butts off keeping everything together, and she returned to work when possible.
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This is an extremely interesting paper analyzing the decline in marriage rates - particularly because it suggests that women become uncomfortable specializing as homemakers without knowing there’s a safety net for them in the event of divorce.
My hot take is that if people are getting married less, it's because it's not offering them the value it once did. For couples without assets, they can't offer security for one partner to stay home. So women end up "winning the bread and baking it too," a completely raw deal.
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My first two children were in daycare, and I thought the care they got there was good. I just really missed them all day (of course they were too young to be asked what they thought). This was dismissed by well-meaning people as “hormones” that I should “get over.”
No judgement on what any family needs to do to survive; but it ought to be possible for policymakers to support families, so as to take into account what children need - as well as what a great many mothers want. Which is more time together, especially in infancy
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It also ignores the fact that having kids can make you a better person or fix things about you. There’s a lovely passage in
@CRPakaluk
’s book about a dad who is devastated by losing both his dad and his job in a short period, who is healed by the birth of his 4th child.
"before you can have kids you need to fix everything about your personality or you'll ruin them" strikes me as a bad message to send parents.
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Thrilled to have an essay out in
@FairerSexFD
reviewing
@CRPakaluk
’s powerful new book exploring the reasons why women choose to have 5+ children. The primary goal of the review is to ask her to please write another one: interview the dads!
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I’ve discussed with several mothers that they feel - or are made to feel - as if their education is “wasted” when they became homemakers. I loved this little anecdote from
@CRPakaluk
’s book Hannah’s Children on this issue:
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This is a wonderful article. The SSI income limit is also a big deal for married homemakers who become disabled. They often lack the work history to qualify for SSDI, but the combined assets test usually also rules out SSI.
When someone with a significant disability seeks to marry, the government is the unwelcome wedding guest with a reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony.
One of the cruelest marriage penalties targets the poor and disabled.
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Was SO excited to see this interview this morning!!!!
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21st century society (mostly) only is comfortable with certain kinds of female ambition - and is often hostile to women who are ambitious about building a family.
Why does degree of ease only come up with regards to having more kids? In no other domain is it cool to admit to being less ambitious because striving for more is too hard.
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Very pleased to publish this article with Compact on the rural maternity healthcare crisis:
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I so enjoyed getting to see Leah (a very talented speaker!) at this last night. It also reaffirmed my faith in the power and importance of college debate.
On the train to Yale to tell students to have more children, earlier.
What do we say no to, when we say no to children?
-No to hope/futurity
-No to need/dependence
-No to particularity
-No to the idea that the world can exceed our plans/control
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Teaching my kids about Genesis: “The Creation Story helps us understand big questions like ‘Why are we here’ and ‘Why is the purpose of life.’ Everyone has these questions.” My seven year-old: “I don’t have those questions at all.”
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This article is very close to my heart! For IFS, I wrote about how little boys learn, how the traditional school system often fails to accommodate them, and how homeschooling might help.
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Yes. Through Medicare, we have made hospice very close to free for our elderly. We should make sure birth is as close to free as possible for our youngest citizens.
Make Birth Free.
At
@compactmag_
today, Catherine Glenn Foster of Americans United for Life (
@cateici
) and Kristen Day of Pro-Life Dems (
@ProLifeDem
) launch a campaign to tackle the obscene costs of giving birth in America.
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Thrilled to appear in Fairer Disputations. Years ago, Sandra Day O’Connor was able to leave the workforce for years to care for her children, and return to eventually become the first female Supreme Court Justice. Why should mothers’ career paths today be *more* constrained?
"Homemakers constitute a broad cross-section of American society, and they deserve support and help should they wish to return to the paid workforce."
Our newest Featured Author,
@IvanaDGreco
, on why we need a "G.I. bill" for homemakers
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Happy Father’s Day to all the great dads out there! I mostly write about mothering, but the work of being a good father is just as important- so grateful today for all the dads do!
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One day I would like to write an article about how my experience homeschooling has convinced me small boys are just simply not designed to sit at desks all day. One of my boys likes to practice spelling while jumping rope.
@NadyaWilliams81
My homeschooled 7-year old was outside reading his history book yesterday with his binoculars around his neck lest any interesting bird fly by during migration season 🤣
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You can read all about the negative comments and other difficulties moms of many children face in Dr. Pakaluk’s wonderful new book, as well as why these women choose to have these large families anyway:
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Having a breadwinner/homemaker division of labor is not inherently oppressive. What is oppressive is when society fails to value and support the work of the home.
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Highly recommend both of these wonderful magazines. I’ve subscribed to
@thelampmagazine
for a while. Hearth & Field has a beautiful new paper quarterly. Best weekend reading there is.
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Also, it should be obvious that raising human beings is tremendously complex endeavor requiring considerable thought and reflection. It’s not necessary, but can be helpful to have a lot of “intellectual furniture” from a broad liberal arts education before embarking on that task
One of the best things my education has done for me as a mother is just to make my mind a really interesting place to be. Long walks with the baby, contact naps, etc. all made vastly more enjoyable by just having put a lot of interesting furniture in my mind to move around
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Wrapped up in this is that many see the important work of creating community and social connections as less important than a “mega career” and so it’s somehow perceived as demeaning when a wife takes on this work. But what if we agreed with Putnam that it’s more important?
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I am constantly intrigued that society is happy to recognize women who make enormous sacrifices to reach the top of their career ladder (you don’t become a top ranked doctor or lawyer without sacrifice) but not women who do the same with respect to family life.
Question raised by this graf in the Slate review of Hannah’s Children: Is heroism “meant” (in the human condition) to be extraordinary? Also, are athletes the pinnacle or only a clear image of something else, more important?
@CRPakaluk
@rebeccaonion
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Have seen several viral videos about the dangers of being a homemaker in cases of divorce, death, etc. This is why we need a “GI Bill for Homemakers” to make it easier for homemakers who want or need to renter the paid workforce to do so.
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There’s a fundamental truth here that it’s really good to have responsibilities and things you have to do, even though it might seem better to have no obligations.
Average Retirement ages fell for like 100 years, even as life expectancy increased. The result has been less happiness, weaker social networks, more drinking & Tv watching, higher divorce rates, ⬇️ life expectancy growth, ⬇️ retirement income, a weaker economy, and ⬆️ deficits.
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This is dead wrong and a serious gap in the insurance market, as I’ve written about here:
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This is in many ways a return to the old system of “social childbirth,” in which an expectant mother could be expected to be assisted by her female friends and relatives throughout the end of her pregnancy, labor, and postpartum period.
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I see many complaints that we don’t have *enough* childcare infrastructure and need more. Less recognition that we possibly have *too much* in other cases and the school/sports/full-time summer camp treadmill is exhausting for everyone.
Has anyone else concluded that the typical k-12 school schedule is impractical, unnatural, and exhausting? Does anyone else find it odd that everyone just goes along with it and acts like it’s normal to spend hours a day in the car schlepping tired children to and fro?
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@MCMCD_
I worked with chain restaurants in a past life, and my guess is that this is the franchise owner, and she’s doing what she wants to do (and she can). This photo is probably an endorsement of capitalism and small businesses ownership, not a rejection.
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Wow. We are able to understand the good of sacrifice in many things (marathons, high powered careers, etc.), but often do not see how that also applies to homemaking.
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I have a great deal of respect for Prof. Oster, but I think her view of stay-at-home mothers and fathers is much too narrow. Many of them are providing invaluable services, including caring for special needs children, their wider communities, elderly family members, etc.
Big Oster fan, but I disagree w/ her here. The idea that the justification for publicly funding childrearing lies in the possibility that doing so might allow parents to do *other* work (whether employment or volunteering) is exactly the kind of thinking we need to get away from
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I don’t really do Instagram but a friend sent me a clip of a lady who said she became a stay-at-home mom so she could have “calm, peaceful mornings,” to which all I can say is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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So happy to publish this post with IFS, arguing that while second-wave feminists believed technological and economic development would render homemaking (and homemakers) unnecessary, in the 21st century it's clear that is *not true*.
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Really pleased to see Heritage endorse the idea of a Family 401k, which would enable employers to better support families with a breadwinner and homemaker.
1/ 🧵So you want proof the New Right really cares about worker power and is prepared for public policy to do something about it?
Let's take a walk through the Labor chapter of the new
@Heritage
"Mandate for Leadership": 👀
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Sen. Vance: “…I speak from this very personally because I'm married to a beautiful woman who is an incredible mother to our three beautiful kids, but is also a very, very brilliant corporate litigator, and I'm so proud of her. But being a working mom, even for somebody with all/
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One of the most fun things about homeschooling is getting to read great books with the kids. It also makes me die a little inside when I read education articles about how we can’t teach the classics to kids because they are “boring.” Could not be more wrong.
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Baby lulled to sleep through dramatic reading by one of her brothers regarding a hippo vs rhino fight to the death.
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The loss of stay-at-home parents causes a family time crunch. “While women’s entry into the labor market has helped their families avoid a money squeeze, it has exacerbated what we will call ‘the time squeeze.’”
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I am struck by the fact that many highly-educated professionals recognize the value and joy of having a stay-at-home parent (even if temporarily); yet suggestions we make it easier for the working- and middle-class to do the same are sometimes met with outrage.
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Families in 2023 are able to afford pretty big TVs. But are they able to make a home-cooked meal and find time to sit around the table as a family and eat it? The latter is, in my opinion, much more important the former. But only the TV is counted in our current economic stats.
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Thrilled to see this. Any comprehensive childcare and eldercare policy is doomed to failure if it doesn’t take family caregivers into account (i.e. stay at home moms and dads in the case of young children, and spouses/adult children in the case of seniors).
Credit where credit is due, this rather vague but directionally correct plank in the rewritten GOP platform could be of future interest
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Love this suggestion by
@mfmyler
that we should encourage young men and women in college to think about their possible future family and children when considering careers, including by "hear[ing] from mothers who no longer work, or who work part-time."
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So excited to read
@BradWilcoxIFS
's book "Get Married." My husband I are approaching the 20th anniversary of our first date. I was 18 at the time, now 38! In many ways we became "grownups" together, and that's very special.
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Completely endorse. Family food is what you make for a bunch of people while directing one child to set the table, answer homework questions, and have the baby in a backpack on your back. That other stuff is tastier but you can’t do it with a bunch of little kids around.
Family food is female-coded. You make family food with children underfoot and conversations ongoing, while juggling several other tasks
Excellence in family food is something everyone will eat, that you can make to budget in the available time, and with minimum washing up
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I think this is the most harmful concept in The Feminine Mystique. Raising children is deeply interesting and creative. It is reasonable to wonder how to combine that with paid work; unreasonable to depict raising kids as a constraint that keeps you from more important work.
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This was an incredible interview between
@Louise_m_perry
and
@EricaKomisarCSW
. I think I’m going to have to listen to it a few more times to get everything out of it.
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Kids and I celebrated “not back to school” day (public school kids go back today) by going to an enormous used bookstore and buying a bunch of kids books. One week and one day until we start homeschool ‘24-25…..
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I appreciate this thread. Homemaking today is often unappreciated not because it is unimportant (it is still very important), but because we aren't good at valuing non-monetary family contributions anymore. I make this point in more detail here:
okay i'll bite.
in Biblical societies, a woman's "economic" contribution via domestic work was a large share of total household consumption because returns to non-domestic work were low. as such, she in many ways had more relative economic power than a SAHM today...
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YES. “A family care model that makes choice possible” is exactly what we need, so that women can make the work choices that is right for THEM whether that be working, working part-time, being home, moving in and out of the workforce, etc.
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"When we think about early development these days, we’ve started to think it means early school. And while it’s true that children are learning from birth, that doesn’t mean they should be in school from birth."
"Maximizing the well-being of young children should be at the center of our thinking about early childhood policy."
@kbstevens
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Interviewing stay-at-home dads is special because it allows discussion about homemaking without the cultural baggage can attach when mom is at home. I was honored to publish a conversation on this topic in my newsletter. The father saw many benefits to being at home, including:
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Was honored to write a review of
@TPCarney
’s wonderful new book, Family Unfriendly. I particularly appreciated the book’s treatment of homemakers and moms.
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Librarian: OMG that is the most high tech stroller I have ever seen. Me: It’s actually the Costco beach cart with the car seat and a milk crate put in it.
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@ehaspel
Women’s labor participation being “too low” is a subjective, not objective factor, and depends on what outcome you are hoping to achieve. If we are talking about people’s preferences, *more* women want to be home than currently are able to do so.
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I loved this interview with my dear friend
@NadyaWilliams81
, and especially her reminder that while it’s good to care about the big news headlines, it’s even better to care more about the people around you.
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We should have a family care model that makes choice possible.”
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I really enjoyed this essay on some of the modern philosophical questions surrounding having children, but it’s simply incorrect that our ancestors did not have (a variety of) rich theological and philosophical frameworks for how they understood child-bearing and child-rearing.
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I have been informed by a very reliable source (a friend who lives in a wealthy area 🤣) that the going rate for "household managers" is $50/hour. The work homemakers do IS valuable -- we just don't recognize it.
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Agreed! Although I would probably say: “America needs homemakers” - someone (man or woman, parent or not) who can put serious time and attention into caring for family, home & community. We rely on those invisible networks and (as we are discovering) there’s no good substitute.
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Facebook is reminding me of a unhappy memory where I was forced to empty my coat pockets in the Court’s Lawyer Security Line and had to dump out handfuls of smushed goldfish crackers, a bunch of random rocks collected by my oldest kid, an apple sauce top, and a child’s mitten
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The last homeschooling books for fall are trickling in and it’s a little like Christmas came early over here. Particularly excited to read “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” with my oldest.
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So pleased to publish this article in
@tac
in favor of
@jdvance
’s bill that seeks to protect women who leave the workforce to be home with their babies. It’s good politics and good sense to support stay-at-home moms.
Policymakers interested in the future of America should be sure to advocate for the stay-at-home parents busy raising up the next generation.
Fairness for Stay-at-Home Parents by
@IvanaDGreco
|
@amconmag
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My most serious homeschooling tip is that as you are teaching growing children exercising both their brains and their capabilities of self-restraint, you must think about whatever protein portion you would consider sufficient to feed them and triple it.
Today is the first day of our 8th year of homeschooling! Four kids, K-8, and at the end of the morning I am making a huge list of snacks to buy from Costco. I had forgot how HUNGRY school makes everyone!
Bon courage, homeschooling parents! You can do it!
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of the advantages of my wife, is extraordinarily difficult. And it's not just difficult from a policy perspective. She actually had access to paid family leave because she worked for a bigger company. But the cultural pressure on young families, and especially young women,/
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Adding to
@tsh
’s “homeschooling in a hammock” series. My 4th grade boy is reading “The Princess and the Goblin.”
Found: a freshman boy, up in a tree on a Friday morning, reading A Tale of Two Cities.
#homeschool
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"Screens and children don't mix...The reason: the heart of education is not the transfer of knowledge, but the nurturing of relationships – of child to teacher, of children among each other, and of children to nature."
"As the French thinker Jacques Ellul recognized, the technologies we use always have an effect on us, and that effect is both burden and blessing."
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It is telling (and depressing) that a lot of discussion around
@kearney_melissa
’s excellent new 📕 on marriage is about how best to fill the income gap for single moms. As if the only thing dads (especially non-college educated dads; the main topic of the 📕) contribute is $.
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I think, makes it really hard for people to choose the family model they want. A lot of young women would like to go back to work immediately. Some would like to spend a little time home with the kids. Some would like to spend longer at home with the kids./
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Stay-at-home moms may not be paying into Social Security by working, but they are contributing in other ways. Guess what happens to the Social Security Trust Fund if there’s no kids to grow up to contribute to it?
Lauren Boebert is against providing Social Security benefits to “stay-at-home moms.”
Boebert: “Stay-at-home moms …are not paying into the system.”
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