Frap Slim believes in the Holy Trinity 🇺🇸⚽️
@FrappuccinoSlim
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Following
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Media
3,767
Statuses
41,983
Tweets often lie in the uncanny valley of Poe’s Law.
Kamala Harris County, TX
Joined May 2019
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南海トラフ
• 742035 Tweets
地震大丈夫
• 256328 Tweets
緊急速報
• 204682 Tweets
緊急地震速報
• 194413 Tweets
神奈川県
• 129757 Tweets
#それスノ
• 105305 Tweets
震度5弱
• 85571 Tweets
FAYE YOKO X EVEANDBOY
• 84812 Tweets
神奈川の地震
• 84346 Tweets
地震の影響
• 78645 Tweets
VISA
• 76450 Tweets
防災グッズ
• 74210 Tweets
BTS IS 7
• 59133 Tweets
ハグの日
• 53162 Tweets
BTS IS SEVEN
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ビックリ
• 45106 Tweets
Isaquias Queiroz
• 42928 Tweets
パニック
• 37497 Tweets
地震警報
• 29193 Tweets
地震びっくり
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#ビリオンスクール
• 27782 Tweets
安全第一
• 25674 Tweets
#ビリスク
• 25595 Tweets
フレンドパーク
• 21629 Tweets
とらのあな
• 19516 Tweets
アラート
• 19052 Tweets
電車の中
• 15288 Tweets
アラーム
• 14038 Tweets
安楽選手
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ステージ乱入
• 11901 Tweets
乱舞音曲祭
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JCBカード
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スポーツクライミング
• 11058 Tweets
小田急線
• 10992 Tweets
@birkez90
@TerribleMaps
It’s weird how culturally different neighboring countries are. In Sweden they wouldn’t have ever fed you.
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@sorkincel
I have three dogs and no kids under 21 and I agree. I get not wanting to see a movie with crying infants, but society should be kid-friendly. Seeking out places that ban kids is probably an indication that you're a bad person.
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6K
@DougJBalloon
Everyone assumed we had it easy because Dad was named one of America's wealthiest men by Forbes magazine. I wearied of explaining how much of that was in preferred stock, buffeted about by the cruel whims of the market. I never knew the security of a predictable weekly paycheck.
23
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5K
@TheOmniZaddy
On behalf of my ancestors, all my mutuals are allowed to order from the Ikea catalog.
7
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4K
@mbaldauff
Had a customer wanting Plan B. Employee told her we had store brand for $10 less.
"Ok, but if it doesn't work, I'm naming my kid Walgreens."
5
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3K
@maureenherman
@hannaemilyy
I’m choosing to read this as you being able to tolerate everything up until he punched the dog, which is where we all should draw the line.
7
24
3K
@SteveSchmidtSES
Ken Starr’s record as a prosecutor and at Baylor University shows that he thinks consensual sex is a high crime but rape is no big deal.
13
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2K
@JoshMandelOhio
Columbus discovered Hispaniola. If that’s America, then that would make the Haitians at the border American. I guess we have to let them in.
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1K
@Molson_Hart
$60,000 annually for food and entertainment is code for “get the family out of the house while I have sex with the $192,000 nanny.”
8
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1K
@superinducting
Biden said he won’t raise taxes on people making less than $400,000. You make exactly $400,000, so you could probably save a lot of money if you have your salary trimmed by $1.
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1K
@upzone_CA
Half the states wouldn’t let anyone enter and half wouldn’t let any woman of childbearing age leave.
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1K
@GoodwinMJ
“Life was better before technological progress enabled normal people to access luxury goods,” tweets author of National Populism.
8
20
1K
@Dom_R52
@vanillaopinions
@KarlAlexPauls
@johnaldjsmith
It's not non-negotiable. It can be changed anytime.
6
0
963
@diandrasdiandra
@maiamindel
I’m not seeing the usual “protect women’s sports from predators” crowd. Maybe they just haven’t heard about this story. Surely they’ll raise their voices any second now.
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950
@fudokun7
@rahulshekar29
@nilocobau
@opinonhaver
@bleezybeeasy
The Indian Dream of a Silicon Valley tech job and the American Dream of being a world class athlete. Really inspiring.
4
13
965
@Ida_Clemens
There are very few people so disabled that they can't cook that can afford DoorDash regularly, right?
9
1
903
@AlexGoodwinTSM
There was a math prof at Houston who made all his tests worth 10,000 points so nobody would tell him they were only 2 points from an A.
8
20
863
@ndrew_lawrence
@natsfert
@BernieSanders
I thought this was part of the thread and not a comment at first. Life was better before I realized my mistake.
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3
817
@dremilyportermd
I had a coworker with two kids who wanted a ligation. The doctors said she was too young. She was an adult, old enough to vote, drive, work, raise a family. She ended up having two more kids she could barely support. If abortion is bodily autonomy, ligations are bodily autonomy.
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@ZackBornstein
I’m eagerly awaiting someone’s tearful “logging off for the last time final goodbye” tweet that they follow up a few hours later with “Wow, this is doing numbers! Follow me for more great takes.”
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798
@TylerDinucci
The unsteady, short-term nature of the Taylor Swift boyfriend job makes it easier to accept when you have a European-style safety net. Universal benefits and improved unemployment insurance can help us keep this important industry in America's heartland.
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782
@DougJBalloon
When I was 19, courting a summer love at the yacht club, I was so embarrassed of our 53 footer that I had the staff call it the skiff and said our yacht was in Hyannis. Eventually her father told her to stop seeing me, the "gold digger." I still think about that girl sometimes.
4
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762
@JoePostingg
As a single-issue national security voter, I trust the party that’s paranoid enough to wear wired headphones over the party that stores classified information in an unlocked supply closet at a hotel.
7
15
769
@DrClaytonForre1
There was a study done somewhere else that showed wolves prevented traffic accidents by keeping the deer population in check.
1
9
688
@DaytimeDan
Stores and restaurants should put in a policy that they won't let you speak to the manager unless you show your vaccine card.
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667
@souljagoytellem
Men will literally start a land war in Asia instead of facing their fear of commitment.
1
10
631
@The_Law_Boy
Just told my ten year old daughter about Breyer. She had tears in her eyes. And then she did the Wakanda pose and said "
#Breyerkanda
forever"--which is the sort of pop culture cross-over I can celebrate.
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572
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@emilypothast
"Many people are calling for an end to the genocide of innocents. But at this Tel Aviv diner, they're not sure."
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566
@mags_mclaugh
Lotta people who pay their nanny $30K who think she makes another $370K a year selling scarves on Etsy or something.
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9
570
@NickTagliaferro
At my old job, we would routinely get emails from corporate telling us to politely decline any media requests and refer them to the media relations dept. Any serious organization will do the same.
2
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585
@GoldwagNathan
@souljagoytellem
Someone on here said that fast food prices are just gas prices for young urbanites.
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9
538
@sorkincel
Nothing wrong with not having kids; if you're that against them you'd probably be a bad parent, so a responsible choice. But you can make it through dinner with them at the next table.
8
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538
@nikicaga
Such a waste. All that potential prime parking space taken up by trees that do nothing but block the sun and spew pollen.
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@DougJBalloon
I was a lifelong liberal Democrat. Then Joe Biden’s gestapo Justice Department prosecuted Hunter Biden merely for exercising his Second Amendment rights.
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@Blake_Allen13
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳
@fudokun7
@rahulshekar29
@nilocobau
@opinonhaver
@bleezybeeasy
The Indian Dream of a Silicon Valley tech job and the American Dream of being a world class athlete. Really inspiring.
4
13
965
3
5
460
@DougJBalloon
Jesus’ statement that the “meek shall inherit the earth” is a woke attack on the traditional masculinity of shirtless, oiled up, well muscled physiques that our society used to cherish.
By Tucker Carlson
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450
@franklinleonard
She put her med school plans on hold to pursue a higher calling, playing for the Houston Dash and the Super Falcons.
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442
@mere_rain
@DaniRabaiotti
@gwenckatz
Just a bird with a podcast about how we should all be paid $2000 a month to stay home.
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441
@vanillaopinions
We need a candidate who’s proven he can win the whole thing, has experience fending off a primary challenger, and is popular in Georgia. There’s only one person who fits the requirements:
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15
442
@xenocryptsite
Scully, one week after slaying the Chupacabra and making out with a shapeshifter who took on the form of David Duchovny, "Mulder, there's no such thing as Bigfoot."
1
17
434
@vanillaopinions
@willieboag
Shows how out of touch Biden is. If he wants to win back the white working class, he needs to start eating lobster ravioli and drinking expensive imported wines.
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@DougJBalloon
From sticker shock on a gallon of milk to toxic stickers on apples, the neighborhood grocery store is suddenly a treacherous place in Joe Biden’s America.
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385
@umichvoter
@nikicaga
I was doing much better financially when I was in high school and my parents paid for everything and I didn’t have to work. I don’t know why Bill Clinton made me grow up, never voting Democratic again.
1
23
385
@JakeM0NTGOMERY
Ted Williams to have a war-free career Give him an extra 5 prime years, maybe he's the first to 715. (Respect to Hank Aaron for actually getting 744, and for overcoming the hatred he faced). With an extra 44 WAR--in line with his averages for those years--Ted is
#1
all-time.
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@DougJBalloon
When I was a kid, I was so embarrassed about how poor my family was that I had the chauffeur drop me off a block early so the other Riverdale Country School students wouldn’t see how old the limousine was. I vowed to never let my kids grow up like that.
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@joshtpm
How am I supposed to yell “get a job!” at the longhairs when statistics indicate that they already have one?
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@DougJBalloon
"It's got a microchip so the government can track you," the retired police officer wearing a LoJack shirt said into his cell phone.
4
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372
@scottjshapiro
I’m in a forgiving mood, and am willing to let Ginni Thomas have not just government security, but maximum security.
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@nikicaga
And all we had to give up was Harry Potter, which is basically like paying in Confederate money.
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377
@BrandyLJensen
If there are enough tongue depressors you can make a mini Washington monument
1
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@vanillaopinions
We could have free parking for everyone in America and abundant freeway lanes everywhere if 98% of the federal budget wasn't being used to support war crimes like bike lanes and buses.
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362
@robertjbennett
If you go far enough back, our ancestors came crawling out of the sea, which is why I, as a leftist, felt comfortable taking a Carnival cruise.
0
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353
@cheer_wine
There was a guy in the East German Communist Party who defected after finding out the party had separate lunchrooms for different ranks in the party hierarchy. People’s breaking points are often very strange.
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@opinonhaver
To the extent that getting a PhD qualifies you to become a PhD manufacturer, it's a bit of a pyramid scheme.
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@cheer_wine
Bollocks to this rubbish. How can 78% of the colonials be living paycheque to paycheque when the unemployment rate is 43%?
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@nikicaga
Most of the anti-abortion arguments I've seen on here consider unwanted children as a just and necessary punishment for sinful women.
2
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@jbendery
“Before I get to my questions about MASH, my granddaughter wanted me to ask if you could get her BTS tickets.”
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@DougJBalloon
In the Florida panhandle, they're still adjusting to gravedigger being the town's fastest growing job instead of their favorite monster truck, and buying a tombstone no longer means it's pizza night. The one constant: unwavering support for Ron DeSantis.
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@jdcmedlock
Economists cheered the January jobs report. But for these mall Santas and their elves, things aren’t so merry.
1
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301
@akela_lacy
@GeeDee215
There are a lot of people who need the money and should absolutely get it. Then there’s people like me, employed the entire year, not needing help more than any other year. A check for me is silly-it will just sit in the bank-but if it’s the only way to get a bill passed, ok.
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@Sartor1836
If I say I’m proud to be an American, I just mean I’m lucky to live in a country that people like him built and steadily improved.
2
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@DougJBalloon
The 22 Wildest Herschel Walker Secret Child Revelations of the Week
By Chris Cilizza
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@maiamindel
@nikicaga
6’ is close enough that shoes and estimation can push a lot of guys over the line. 2 meters is pretty unattainable though, so you just get a vaguely round number l ear the median.
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0
274
@ItsBeardoWeirdo
At Big Rx, contest “prize” was district staff covering shifts for a day. I told pharmacist not to win under any circumstance, because they’d get in way, make a mess, then leave a list of things we needed to fix ASAP. Actual winner confirmed later that was exactly what happened.
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@ArmandDoma
Stoning rape victims for adultery might not be in line with your western progressive values, but it’s nonetheless an admirable example of prison abolition and community based justice.
5
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@OregonMapGuy
It’s going to be very exciting for Sunak when half the soccer team tweets out that they don’t endorse the Tories.
1
1
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@merovingians
If you think we're currently in a world war, the Great Depression II and that covid is still as destructive as it was in 2020, there's not much appeal in harm reduction.
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@NickTagliaferro
It’s not a great sign that upon being accused of a war crime, Israel’s first response was not to deny it but to say “that does sound like us” and then explain why it was actually very cool and justified.
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10
250
@LinkofSunshine
Democrats rig the jury pool to select all educated minority women backfires when they select 12 terminally online Columbia linguistics grad students.
0
2
259
@RiverTamYDN
“Don’t assume we’re the 51st state” is a weird response to criticism that suggests that they would be much better off if they were the 51st state.
1
1
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@AlecStapp
Protecting the environment, for many people, is basically a pro-scenery position.
3
6
241
@SamRamani2
My entire childhood I thought we had a literal Red Phone in the Oval Office that went directly from POTUS to the Kremlin
14
6
237
@BadMedicalTakes
Physical superiority is dying five years earlier. Psychological superiority is committing suicide 3-5 times as often.
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229
@vanillatary
All you have to do is know
-which items are taxable where you are
-if you have a form of payment that’s tax exempt
-if you’re tax exempt on allowable purchases
-state tax rate
-which side of municipal boundaries you’re on
-whether you’re in the local transit sales tax zone
🇺🇸🇺🇸
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3
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@McKay4Senate
Tell those Dutch bums that if they’re hungry, they need to get a job and quit asking for handouts.
4
2
234
@GrahamGallaghe9
His mistake was mouthing off while sitting down to a guy standing up. Totally conceded the high ground.
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@DougJBalloon
The Constitution is Clear that States Must Permit Swollen Testicles to be Used as Proof of Covid Immunity.
By Jonathan Turley
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214
@RyanMarino
Do mask mandates in schools permanently destroy the ability of kindergarteners to recognize human facial expressions and create a future generation of serial killers? Here’s what three Harvard Business School professors had to say.
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217
@nikicaga
Weird how attached modern Republicans are to statues of bad rebel slave-owning Democrats from 160 years ago.
1
1
223
@notthechips
“By destroying Russia’s stock market Putin is bringing about the end of capitalism” logic.
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208
@nikicaga
Probably the guy should change seats, but if you can't handle being all of 18 inches from your beloved for a few hours, you should have booked your seats next to each other.
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@nikicaga
If the United States had a parliamentary system, the GOP version of this would also be very funny.
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