I struggle when people ask me what I do for a living, as I usually just say "private equity" to keep the conversation moving. For those who are more curious, here's my life summed up in a series of bullet points:
- I lend money via . Mainly private
🚨 Just received a phone call from the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office this afternoon. Officer reads off his badge number & proceeds to ask if this is [my name] located at [my address] w/ SSN# [reads last 4 of my social]. Fuck. Was walking through Costco as I took the call.
after ditching my Costco basket mid-aisle, realizing I was getting scammed. THESE GUYS WERE GOOD. Their script was perfect. I fell hook, line & sinker. Every single data point matched. I'm young, and consider myself relatively tech savvy. Yet, I fell hard.
I got off the phone and called the sheriff's office, who unfortunately told me that I wasn't their first call today. Multiple people are getting scammed on a daily basis. I only realized it once payment had to be posted somewhere other than the sheriff's office.
Some call center somewhere is absolutely RAKING in the cash on this. And whoever is coaching them deserves every bit of their bonus this month. I respect the hustle. I want to punch them in the face just as much as I want to hire them.
Please roast me at your dinner table tonight, hopefully this story saves your mom, dad, grandma, whoever from falling for this insanity. If this post saves one person though, it's worth it. Thank you for attending my real world scam artist TED talk 🫡
I called back the scam number an hour later, no answer. They then called me back a few minutes after, starting the scam all over again. I went with it, only to feel more ashamed the second time. Once they realized I was screwing with them, they hung up.
Some qualifying points for the keyboard warriors:
1. It's easy to say "never pick up a number you don't know". A lot of careers depend on answering the phone. Mine is one of them. Also, you're telling me you won't pick up the Amazon or Uber Eats driver's call? Lots of examples.
Once I confirmed that I had the cash, the officer notified me that I needed to make payment at an alternate location prior to arriving to the sheriff's office. He re-routed me to a "federal payment processing location"❗️ And there I am, 20 minutes into this phone call...
The officer stated that I had two choices: 1) drive down to the sheriff's office today or 2) an officer would come to my house. I immediately hopped in my truck and started driving there. I'm anal, zero chance I missed jury duty, I'm 100% innocent. Orange isn't my color.
I confirmed accuracy. The officer proceeded to tell me that I failed to appear for jury duty & currently have a civil citation as a result, which can lead to an immediate arrest. He proceeded to ask if I was able to come down to the sheriff's office in town. He gave the address.
I quickly Googled the address, confirming it is in fact the sheriff's office in town. Damn, legit. I proceeded to tell him that I never received a jury notice. He says that a common scam is going around. Scammers are forging jury summons, causing all sorts of problems.
I had just moved into a new home a month ago. He listed off the date in which the letter should have arrived, and of course it was during the week I was moving. It all added up.
Once I got in my car, I asked the officer for more proof that he was legitimate. He suggested I google the # that I took the call from. I did, it matched. He repeated his badge number, full name, the judge's name, etc. Google matched everything to a local corresponding person.
I asked if I could patch in my lawyer as I drove. The officer stated that I could call him once I arrived at the station, and that there is currently a gag order in effect due to the high profile case at hand. In his words, they were attempting to entrap the scammers.
After about 15 minutes on the phone, I was ~5 minutes away from the sheriff's HQ. The officer told me that I needed to bring two forms of ID, in addition to payment for the civil fines. He said I would be reimbursed once I could prove it was a forged signature.
@1337omni
$4,500 for the Failure to Appear + $4,500 for the Contempt of Court. $9K to make it go away immediately. Scare tactics are wild. Amazing what you'll do to *not* go to jail, even if undeniably innocent.
Shitty that I have to specify this as it's missing the entire point, but I will clarify my original verbiage to ensure no ill-will. I do not respect the con. It's despicable. The whole purpose of this post was to bring awareness. The word "hustle" was meant in the context of
@gpalcher
I said exactly that. His response was: "Absolutely, when you call back, just ask for Officer XYZ, Badge Number XYZ. I'll be here waiting for your call." He bluffed me, which resulted in me not doing exactly that 🙈 no poker games for me in the future
Just got denied term life insurance because of my passive investment in a private adult nightclub. Sounds like a few underwriters have dated strippers before & know the toll they can take on their lives! But seriously, got denied. I can understand a bank, but life insurance!?
@that1dood
Having a non emotional third party next to you during these calls is huge. When you explain it, you feel dumb. When you hear it yourself, you believe it.
Dead
#SMB
deal. ~$38K lost over a 45 day DD period. But it's dead for a reason not many talk about. It took until two weeks prior to closing to digest the PG language in the SBA 7a docs. The ~$8M PG was more than enough to take me down, and I couldn't stomach it. My story:
Any land brokers in North Carolina? Borrower defaulted on 100 acres in Bryson City (Macon County). Infra (roads, electric, telephone) in place, 30 lots. Prefer to sell, but always willing to listen to ideas.
Yes I own a strip club w/ a few partners. Yes it has a spaceship on the roof. Yes it makes money. Yes John Mayer has blasted off in it. Yes I'm getting married in a few months (and no, she's not a stripper). Yes you should sign up for Google Earth Studio, it's pretty damn cool.
@mjrsmith5
Someone in my DMs said it best. The scammers have the perfect "sheriff's voice" well put together. It's a stern tone of seriousness. Everyone is just used to phone scammers being foreign with an accent.
@RunningGag77
Agreed. My mentality in life/biz is to get things handled though. That ambiguity gives me anxiety. So why not make a quick trip to the sheriff's office to resolve it? Obviously if they had led with the payment requirement off the bat, it would've been obvious.
Incentives make the world go round. We pay out ~$1K a night to taxi/limo/Uber drivers. $10 per head for every individual they drop off, as long as they come inside. That party bus with 20 bachelors? Easy $200 to the driver. Do this for long enough, the drivers will convince you
@shawngorham
I’ve done exactly this over the last two+ years, about 150 loans of all shapes and sizes. 100% referral based, but finally putting a brand to it:
I've wanted to give back for a while now, but didn't know where to start. I'm a die-hard
@TBLightning
STM, stoked for the new season. Any father/son or military duos out there who haven't ever been to a
#GoBolts
game? 2 tix, pre-season Thurs 9/29, my treat, no strings attached.
Fired one of my drivers for a laundry list of performance issues. The final straw was a TikTok video that went viral of him slacking off on the job. Told him he should pursue social content / video editing in his next career-- had to give him kudos, was catchy!
For those who don't know me, my life summed up in a series of bullet points:
- Partner in the world famous 2001 Odyssey strip club & Riveters Tampa. The one w/ the spaceship on the roof.
- Early search funder 5+ yrs ago, acquiring + operating various businesses: dumpster
@signthefronts
Had 100+ employees running Amazon routes. Always knew anything I “loaned” wasn’t coming back my way, mentally wrote it off. Have to accept that, or else you’ll quickly lose your faith in humanity when it doesn’t boomerang.
@NermittheFrog
It’s that unique combo of past events that hooks you. Ie the fact that I just moved gave me doubt that I actually missed the document in the mail 🙈
The ultimate double-win:
A week off the grid (truly no cell service or Wi-Fi)
+
A week alone with your father, no distractions. 8 hours a day, alone on a boat in the middle of 🇨🇦
Highly suggest both. Wasn’t until I turned 30 that I realized just how valuable this is 🙏🏻
Day 404 since permit approval- All final inspections happening this week, hopeful for Certificate of Occupancy by April 15th. Probably another two weeks of punch-items from there. Move-in by first week of May.
@ThaumaturgeRN
Any location other than the local sheriff's office would've tipped me off. Because they led with that, I fell for it. Why would a scammer tell me to go to the local sheriff's office? Smart tactic, but they obviously lost it once they diverted me
Yes, hospitality sucks, you should stay far away from it! On that note, I bought a restaurant in Sept because
@MatznerJon
told me I enjoy getting kicked in the nuts. A Tampa staple, in biz for 30+ yrs. $6M+ in rev for decades. Some crazy findings in the first 60 days post-close:
Shoutout to
@JovanTezos
for my full Tezos Node install and Ledger Configuration for Self-Baking. Educational, efficient & patient. For anyone (non-techy) chewing on self-baking, he’s your guy. Don’t be afraid to ask dumb questions, because I did 🙋♂️
Went to the ER yesterday for a kidney stone. Most painful morning of my life, but made it thru. Find yourself a friend who makes you laugh when they know it hurts. Cheers to the kind note & flowers from
@thepoktopus
PS- drink water & go see a Urologist once a year, trust me
Last note: mental health is a thing. Searching for, buying & operating businesses is not for the faint of heart. Learn to listen to your body, mind & gut. Life is good! To reiterate: I'm a perpetual opportunistic searcher. The next deal is always right around the corner 💯
@barry_weinstein
Sadly my work involves a lot of non-saved numbers calling me (prospective borrowers, biz owners, etc). But agreed, should’ve stayed focused on the $1.50 hotdog and not my phone.
Fun fact: EIDL loans *are* assumable. Took us about 4 months, but we were able to take over a $950K note, 3.75%, 30yrs. We absolutely did not appreciate what we once had, not long ago.
Getting married in 7 days 👀 My 32 yr old life version of the ultimate well-dressed melting pot. Heavy conservatives, flamboyant liberals, devout Catholics, a magician, entrepreneurs, entertainers, ex frat stars, magic internet token millionaires & a few of X's finest 🤵♂️
Sometimes the best deals are the ones you don't do. I walked from this
#SMB
deal almost exactly 6m ago. 100% does not pencil today at the same terms, my butt would've been clenched on a daily basis. PGs are no joke, it's healthy to talk about them. But man was it a kickass biz!
Dead
#SMB
deal. ~$38K lost over a 45 day DD period. But it's dead for a reason not many talk about. It took until two weeks prior to closing to digest the PG language in the SBA 7a docs. The ~$8M PG was more than enough to take me down, and I couldn't stomach it. My story:
@GerritStukkie
80% LTV is high. 70% max. Hoping it’s current market value & not assuming any capital will be “added” to the RE. Based on state, ensure no homestead + PG of both (if married). Force extra insurance on RE w/ you added as beneficiary. I’ve done $30M in loans this yr, happy to chat.
Received some truly incredible wedding gifts. Some I'll never forget, the ones that took thought. Most notably a Crate & Barrel box (where our registry was) filled with crumpled singles. IYKYK.
I've owned a profitable strip club for about a decade. I'm blessed to have partners who run the club while I sleep. I get asked some wild questions from time to time, so I figured I'd toss out the 5 most common misconceptions of strip club ownership. Have a Q? Ask away. Top 5⃣ 👇
@ChrisRamsey60
People hate on crypto, but it created a whole new set of investors that 1) tolerates/embraces risk better than anyone else and 2) appreciates speed and transparency more than checking a standardized check box
I've helped entrepreneurs acquire small businesses over the last few years, providing debt & equity capital. Most recently, a broker would not send a CIM w/out POF or a substantial PFS for a searcher. I get it, searchers don't "have" the money, can be tire-kickers. I was 100%