Sex is cool but have you ever been singing a song and both the lyrics and music pause and then you absolute NAIL the timing when the next lyric drops. So. Good.

@eastvillageguy Would you prefer he lie to you?

Past a certain age, a man still wearing Nikes can be a bad thing. Trust me.

@DanAdvantage @realDonaldTrump He didn’t have Elon

This is how husbands feel. “Why are people here? You didn’t tell me people were coming today. I would have remembered.”

This is bear vs bear. This does nothing to prove the outcome of bear vs man.

@68shooter Yes, but being both is best.

@Bonecondor The second best time is now. I’m assuming you’re taking advantage.

New music is the worst. I have to accidentally discover a new song.

A cool feature would be being able to relive the @X feed of a given event. It’d be fun to see all the hate the Patriots were getting at this point in game, and then see the tide turn as they turned it around.

@Rothmus Fear not. Dems will come to power again and the hunger for wasteful spending won’t be easily satisfied.

@KettlebellDan In the code it’s probably crow and crow2

@n0w00j Same energy

@mardybumnn @river_is_nice Helluva movie

@BA_turtle_BS

@netcapgirl Is it “retardio” or “retard io”?

@fightwithmemes @elonmusk Gotta get that bread

@AvgDatabaseCEO wE sUcK lEsS tHaN yOu

@river_is_nice It used to be simple: movie started about 10 minutes after posted time to account for trailers. Now it’s a complete mystery. I’ve waited 45 minutes. 20 is common.

RT @IMAO_: Twitter needs a button that's "bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed."

@jeremyjudkins_ 192 years. Perfect. I’ll pass it down to my kids, and them to theirs.