Thorpe Langton
@mspdawg
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Following
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@DiabolicalSpuds
I'm a lawyer and my fiancee is an elementary school teacher... we each put 50% of our paychecks into a joint account that pays all of our joint expenses: mortgage, utilities, groceries. Guarantees we're each paying relative to the income we bring in.
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@kittynouveau
@Athens_Grease
You'd think they could have used this time at home to learn how to draw their eyebrows.
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@BrianMFloyd
It’s almost like all 30 clubs have access to a trove of information collected during the MLB’s investigation and each of them have decided he isn’t worth whatever marginal upgrade he’d provide to their rotation.
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@normcharlatan
"Never forget" unless and until you start collecting paychecks from the same bank account that paid the hijackers
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@megaluscus
@AnkleBullyDon
@KyleSloter
@NickNelsonMN
Wow, so Biden is gonna reschedule Easter next year so it doesn't steal the thunder of Trans Day of Visibility?!
My brain has been pounded to mush by oncoming linebackers just enough to be outraged by this!
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@ajc
So you're saying the cops would be justified in shooting me 57 TIMES because I frequently point out that the average cop is more likely to (1) beat his wife; (2) have a father that didn't show affection; and (3) graduate high school with a C- average?
Good to know, AJC
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@bomani_jones
Truest take I’ve ever heard was that Auburn is like the uncle who runs an all-cash landscaping business, he’s either eating lobster or living out of his truck.
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@38Godfrey
The guy's first season as "character coach" was the same year Aaron Hernandez murdered a guy?
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@JimTading
@DiabolicalSpuds
As someone with more guitars than he needs, it's very important that my frivolity budget not impact the family's bottom-line
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@mvortiz
@DiabolicalSpuds
We are paying proportional to our salary because we're each contributing 50% of our salary to our household account. Because our salaries are so disparate, my "split" of our joint expenses is effectively 80%.
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@EWErickson
Maybe the guy who gleefully celebrated the murder of George Tiller and called the killer a hero is probably the last dude who should weigh in on this
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@SonyaShaykhoun
@AndrooHiss
@jules_su
@brandrroyo
Proud product of the Dalton School, ladies and gentlemen
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@MyHomieMahoney
@PPowell_
No wonder he’s anti-vax, a Covid outbreak is his only chance of seeing the field
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@bluestein
Sure Georgia voters will overlook the multiple instances of domestic violence because he used to score touchdowns
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@mvortiz
@DiabolicalSpuds
We like the system because it simplifies how joint expenses are paid and leaves us each with our own "spending" money. While my spending money might be more, it generally means I'm the one paying for dinners, concerts, etc.
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@kittynouveau
@Athens_Grease
Did I miss something when reading the books, because I thought that where someone wound up was dictated by the whims of a talking hat.
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@benshapiro
WATCH: Failed screenwriter, Ben Shapiro, DESTROYS guy who actually got a show on television.
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@EWErickson
Erick this week: "Haha, I LOVE that Israel killed this man and his entire family!"
Erick next week: "Please, everyone, say a prayer for my wife and my family."
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@actioncookbook
Scoffing “This is gonna ruin my knife” right before plunging it into the back of an unsuspecting henchman
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@tangot296
@badler
@OrrellAEI
@mikepolkjr
@JonahDispatch
You need to have Confederate currency framed on your wall to remember that the South got their asses kicked?
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@fanazer
@TVietor08
"Hey, Americans! Come visit the country that funded 9/11! We've got great hiking trails!"
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@shawnstewartKC
@JoeyMulinaro
@TuckerCarlson
I’m not sure you understand the concept of wit, my dude.
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@BrianKempGA
@JoeBiden
Big talk from a dude whose rural broadband program was entirely dependent on the availability of matching federal funds.
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@PopA500Beny
@BrianMFloyd
You should ask your Philosophy 101 professor for a refund, b/c this isn't an appeal to authority.
I'm merely noting that 30 teams-whose ostensible purpose is to win baseball games while selling tickets to said baseball games-have decided that Bauer is a detriment to those goals.
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@LaurieLee0966
If you couldn’t afford quality private schools before vouchers you ain’t gonna be able to afford them with one.
This is a rebate check for wealthy folks like me.
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@KrangTNelson
Love that the GOP has gone from folks who were performatively intellectual to folks who are just performatively racist.
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@raskolnehkov
@MattWalshBlog
Yeah because *checks notes* fuckin podcasters contribute so much to our society
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@300furrybears
If you think you could be happy doing something else... do that something else.
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@EWErickson
No one is above the law, except for Herschel Walker, who Erick wanted in the Senate despite beating the shit out of his wife.
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@bethanyshondark
You’d think with all your experience getting dunked on you’d take it a lot better
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@HollyAnderson
We're just trying to have a little fun by accusing people of trafficking minors before we take another sip of ayahuasca
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@RJ_Writes
Urban has looked the other way on domestic violence, battery, theft, and Aaron Hernandez's entire college career, I think he can willfully blind himself to a little casual racism
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@amandamull
There’s a diary from like the 1800s detailing my great (x4) grandfather plowing a field, by hand, without stopping, from sun up to well past sundown like some kind of south Georgia John Henry. Really wish that was a recessive gene.
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@NBNelson_
@Keggs719
@benshapiro
I did. Ben doesn't address the central premise: spending 43 minutes whining about the Barbie movie is pathetically unmanly behavior out of a 5'4" weirdo
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@livlaz
@kittynouveau
@Athens_Grease
I feel like the real outrage was the segregated seating area in the back of the venue for "muggles."
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@KrisHerring
@BrianMFloyd
Well it would seem that the MLB investigation uncovered some information that doesn't him worth even league minimum.
Heck, LA is paying him $34 million to pitch anywhere other than Dodger Stadium.
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@michelletandler
“I’m not advocating for public hangings, but I would be in favor of tastefully done, private hangings”
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@bluestein
Because when it comes to seriously investigating acts of antisemitism, you can always trust Cobb County
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@ClayTravis
Fun fact: Clay got his Covid shot in March 2021 and a his booster that November.
I know because I checked the Tennessee vaccine database
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@AaronBlake
Kristi has a rare disorder that causes her to mistake people’s faces. It’s why she’s wound up sleeping with so many dudes who aren’t her husband.
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@robincperez
@JasonIsbell
He ain’t calling her a horrible person because of her religion or her ethnicity, he’s calling her a horrible person because she’s an asshole. There ain’t nothing dehumanizing about calling an asshole and asshole.
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@JimmyPatronis
Maybe the fact Florida's CFO considers insurance fraud a crime with "NO victims!" is one of the reasons why homeowners are struggling to find affordable policy coverage.
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@smmarotta
@rfelicello
If Hogan Lovells is churning out Supreme Court briefs on par with a two-person consumer fraud firm, it makes you wonder why clients are paying the Hogan Lovells rate.
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@PopA500Beny
@BrianMFloyd
Aroldis Chapman choked out his wife and fired off a handgun during a domestic dispute and still landed the largest contract ever given to a reliever.
Trevor is either decidedly cooked as a pitcher or perhaps something within the MLB's investigation is warranting trepidation.
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@MurphyAJC
@GovKemp
Bill White floating off to find a new city to grift, like a racist Mary Poppins
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@The_Law_Boy
@BobbyBigWheel
You mean we were right about it being a giant ruse the whole time?!
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@bluestein
So glad Brian is making sure wealthy Buckhead families get a nice welfare payment from the state
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@nickhaltermpls
The mayor works from an office every day and is a bigger loser than most anybody I know
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@amuse
@AshaRangappa_
Wild idea, maybe Candace and her husband could learn how to, you know, cook? Stunning that such a strong advocate for "self-sufficiency" needs to rely on the grocery store hot bar to feed herself.
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@PopA500Beny
@BrianMFloyd
We have seen MLB teams sign guys despite DV arrests and other moral/legal failings b/c their talent outweighs the reprehensibility of their actions.
Bauer got DFA'd and isn't getting signed because something in that equation isn't adding up for teams.
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@KLoeffler
Just like you gained nothing--other than some sweet insider stock tips--by serving as Senator, amirite?
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@DarthAlide
@mvortiz
@DiabolicalSpuds
We haven't really had that discussion, although we are planning on her staying home when we have kids (at least until the kids are in preschool), so this system may wind up being moot in a few years.
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@JeffLandry
So when are we cutting funding to the football program, they've never been on field for the national anthem
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@defendATLforest
@HollyAnderson
Weird how Chris Carr wasn't too concerned about folks attacking cops when he was helping send busloads of folks up to the Capitol for Jan. 6
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@EWErickson
Erick is so desperate for DeSantis to get like a shred of traction because he doesn't want Donald to call him a cuck again.
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@TommyTortelini
@38Godfrey
...and he was chaplain in KC when Jovan Belcher murdered his girlfriend. Starting to think this might not be great at any of his jobs.
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@normcharlatan
Legit considered taking them up on the free ticket offer and then sneaking into Barbie or Oppenheimer instead
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@bluestein
It's a real indictment of Brian Kemp's ability to govern if Atlanta's once-robust economy now hinges on a summer camp for cops
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@jett012720
@KrisHerring
@BrianMFloyd
The fact the Dodgers are paying him $34 million to not pitch and he hasn't been signed to a league minimum deal when MLB clubs have clearly evidenced they'll look the other way on DV if the talent outweighs the egregiousness of the wrongdoing.
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@mbaram
Just a friendly reminder that
@PaulBrounMD
only graduated MCG because his daddy threatened to cut the med school's funding; doesn't have admitting privileges at any hospital in the State of Georgia; and, if you ask around Athens, has a reputation for being a little handsy...
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@jamiedupree
Is she gonna print out photos from her multiple affairs and put those on poster board, too?
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@EWErickson
Erick: "I'll have no choice but to support the rapist if you keep being mean to him!"
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@bluestein
Kemp: “We need judges not partisan politicians [so be sure to vote for my guy who’ll rule through a completely partisan lens]”
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@JMoE220
@AgentRachelLuba
@Yankees
@BauerOutage
The fact that nearly every teammate he's ever played with, including Gerrit Cole, hates his guts
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@jett012720
@KrisHerring
@BrianMFloyd
Alternatively, the fact he's never followed through on his multiple threats to sue Major League Baseball
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