The BITCH has landed. This is the book that took me over two years to write. In my actual hands. It documents how sexist bias polluted evolutionary biology & caused the female of the species to be marginalised & misunderstood by the scientific patriarchy. Out March 3rd
#bitchbook
One for animal weapon geeks - the definitive claw draw. Who knew harpy eagle beat polar bear’s in length? And snapping turtle beat lynx! Take that pussy cat!
Tonight’s nightmare is brought to you by the hammerhead worm. A giant 2 foot predatory flatworm that hunts earthworms and looks like it’s wearing a plastic joke shop moustache.
I’m back and can report that Madagascar is an animal wonderland - it’s as if evolution got drunk on absinthe and created crazy creatures. . Just look at this Indri bounce (it’s body is built for vertical leaping not walking so terrestrial movement is something of a compromise)
We are feeling punchy in Camp Cadwalladr. Big day in court gor
@carolecadwalla
as she’s forced to defend public interest journalism. In awe of the bravery of my brilliant friend.
#slappsuit
The photographer Kristian Laine bumped into a bubblegum pink manta ray on the Great Barrier Reef - probably a rare mutation, like albinism but oh wow, how beautiful! Follow Kristain on Instagram
@kristianlainephotography
for more underwater marvels.
And this is the all-female species of gecko that has dispensed with males altogether by evolving into a self-cloning sisterhood. They are great colonisers, able to reproduce at twice the rate of sexual species without the 'evolutionary wastage' of males
#naturetable
Kiwi eggs are proportionally the largest egg of any bird & weigh a quarter of their body mass. That’s like a human giving birth to a fully formed four-year-old.
#ouch
Monday morning inspiration: waxy monkey frog secretes his own sunscreen AND doesn’t need any help thank you very much reaching his back thanks to super bendy legs
#lovefrogs
❤️🐸💕
Scientists have taught a Killer whale at a marine park in the States to say HELLO. I'm wondering if LET ME OUT OF THIS F***ING TANK AND SET ME FREE might have been a bit more useful...
Here's the photo of Loretta the bonobo matriarch I showed on this week's
#NatureTable
You might be surprised by how bald she is. That's because - as the top ranking bonobo in her group - she receives the most grooming. So, if you are a bonobo, baldness is a sign of high status.
Im on
#Springwatch
tonight exploring my parents garden in search of bugs & newts. Just as I did as a kid. Emotional & poignant as both mum & dad have now died & house about to be sold. They built that garden & we all loved it. Grateful I got to explore 1 last time
@BBCSpringwatch
Job alert! I’m looking for a researcher to help with my new book. It’s a paid gig. I’m after someone with a masters or phd to help me churn through academic papers on evolution, animal behaviour, primatology, physiology, etc in search of stories. Email me using link in Linktree
Today is my birthday. It’s a big one & I had a big party planned. Instead I shall be celebrating by taking a long coastal walk with my dog. But I’m very happy with that. I feel grateful for so much today. The NHS, the sunshine, my dog, the wonder of Nature. And life itself.
The giraffe has a purple tongue thanks to the melanin which protects it from the suns rays. So they can derp all day and not get burnt 👅
#derpy
#evolution
#solutions
For those that enjoyed the orca on
#NatureTable
there's more matriarchal fun in my latest book BITCH described by
@sueperkins
as 'A refreshing challenge to society’s assumptions about sex. Mr Darwin your time is up. This the evolutionary reboot us bitches have been waiting for"
So excited to see an adder on my walk this morning. Sunning itself like a boss. My friend jumped like a cat that’s just seen a cucumber 🥒🙀She moved faster than any animal I’ve ever seen.
#snakeinthegrass
It’s paperback publication day for BITCH in the UK. Which is quite surreal as I’m 1000’s of miles away in Nicaragua. But I’m spontaneously celebrating with the badass cover star of my book & enjoying photos sent to me of my BITCH in British bookshops. Please share any you find.
Ladies & gentlemen let me present the critically endangered Pygmy sloth, Bradypus pygmaeus. Roughly half the size of regular Bradypus variegatus. And twice as cute. Only found on one island & gd eg of
#islanddwarfism
Protected by
@EDGEofExistence
as utterly unique tiny
#freaks
Last night I got to meet
@AlongsideWild
- the man who just discovered and named this strange new salamander that was something of a mythical beast. He’s a great conservationist - follow him for more weird and wonderful wildlife news.
Great news for bat and booze fans alike - the bat that pollinates the Agave plant (that’s used to make tequila) has come off the endangered species list. Celebrate with a margarita!
To celebrate
#nationalInsectWeek
I bring you a monstrous pickled larva from
@NHM_London
Any ideas what beast this becomes (if not pickled by scientists first)?
“We can learn [from sloths] how to be more slow and sustainable,” says zoologist Lucy Cooke. “We're destroying this planet at an alarming rate, and part of that is because of our addiction to speed and convenience.”
Tomorrow is
#InternationalSlothDay
- a day to release your inner sloth & celebrate the lethargic lifestyle of the world's slowest mammal. Here is Coconut with a little guidance on how to get your sloth on. Follow Sloth Appreciation Society
@slothville
for more sloth-spiration
Today’s animal encounters part 2. I was sitting on the beach trying to read my book (on promiscuity in birds as it happens) and this pigeon started trying to eat my shoe. While it was still on my foot.
#wtf
#animalbehaviour
#bizarre
According to
@DaniRabaiotti
sloths are the only mammals that don’t fart - they absorb excess gut methane & breathe it out (as a sort of ‘mouth fart’ I suppose). I always knew they were special
#DoesItFart
Tune in to
#BBC2
tonight at 9pm for my latest doc - INTO THE BAT CAVE. No mention of
#COVID
but plenty of amazing new science about these astonishing beasts. Plus you get to see me try and echolocate like a bat around a lab in Durham university.
The sloth is a digestive athlete with a four-chambered stomach, says
@mslucycooke
. They have the slowest digestion rate of any mammal: it can take up to one month to process a single leaf.
#TEDWomen
I am heading to Madagascar!!!! It’s been top of my list since...forever. Tomato frogs, dancing lemurs and more chameleons than you can shake a stick at. I am beyond excited. Follow luckycooke on Instagram if you want to watch my adventures.
3yrs ago I was treated for breast cancer by a world class medical team from the NHS. I’m so very grateful for their existence. Here I am marvelling at the standard issue surgery underwear they provided pre-op. Definite room for improvements there. But overall ❤️❤️NHS
#NHS70
@monsterfucker76
@gizaartworks
They have been tagged for all that time and I met the scientist studying them who discovered a high proportion of female-female couples in this colony
Anyone seeking light relief listen to Radio 4 tonight at 6.30pm for the last episode of Nature Table with
@sueperkins
, my old friend
@sallyephillips
& me laughing about face mites & whether geese were conscripted by the army. It should raise a much needed smile.
@BBCRadio4
This is Eba - a whale poop sniffer dog & she’s helping save orcas by sniffing out their scat, which helps scientists monitor their hormones & diet in a non-invasive (albeit smelly) way. She’s a former street dog now saving whales. And she’s super cute. Please support
@wildorcaorg
Hooray hooray it’s paperback publication day! THE UNEXPECTED TRUTH ABOUT ANIMALS now available as a softer, cheaper, more portable read. But with the same hard facts and crazy stories. What more are you waiting for....
Was proud 2 take 3 boys to protest. I almost felt sorry for TM as I stood amongst a sea of kids chanting ‘f*** you Theresa May’ until I read her wildly inappropriate comments. They have a right to their voice. This is an emergency & we should all listen and act accordingly.
British PM says that the children on school strike are “wasting lesson time”. That may well be the case. But then again, political leaders have wasted 30 yrs of inaction. And
that is slightly worse.
#schoolstrike4climate
#FridaysForFuture
#ClimateStrike
I just booked a flight to Madagascar!!! yay!!! It’s top of my bucket list. I’m going to research lemurs for my book in Western Madagascar. I’m also hoping to meet a tomato frog in the flesh. All Recommendations welcome. 😍
That’s me. On the bill at this year’s Glastonbury. In between Jarvis Cocker &
@theAliceRoberts
at the
@glastonburyuni
That’s some fun sandwich 🤩
Caecilians are strange & wonderful creatures - amphibians that look like giant worms & feed their young using the skin off their own back (known as maternal dermatophagy). Now it seems they might hold the cure to cirrhosis of the liver in humans
So thrilling! A fox just crept through my garden. He looked a bit mangey though, I hope he’s not been bullied by the local badgers. Perhaps he might like to eat the cat that keeps crapping in my front garden.
Woop Woop! New episode of
#naturetable
starts now! Starring
@sueperkins
@felicityward
@MeganMcCubbin
and yours truly. I'll be talking about a sisterhood of self-replicating lizards and how bonobos managed to overthrow the patriarchy through ecstatic same-sex frottage
This pangolin sticking its tongue out at u shows how freakishly long it is - their tongues hoover up 70 million insects a year, are stickier than a cinema carpet & longer than their entire bodies. So long in fact that they’re attached to their pelvis & stored in its chest cavity
Retweeting not just because I’m cited but because, as always,
@Anthrofuentes
gives a clear scientific argument why you can’t divide the world into one of two neat binary buckets, however much culture wants you to.
1/Latest WSJ Opinion piece on why sex is "binary" by
@SwipeWright
is another reason why people really need to learn about biology in general and human biology in particular. Here are just a few lines that are factually incorrect from the piece:
Happy Birthday to Sir David Attenborough. I wrote about when we met - a study in how not to meet your heroes- as it could not have gone more embarrassingly wrong. Read & weep
#Attenborough
This story fills me with sadness. In the wild sloths occupy a range the size of several football pitches and live for over 30 years. A bedroom is no home for such a wild animal, however slothful
#sloths
#notapet
I return to
#NatureTable
on Radio 4 18.30 tonight with my fantastically funny old friend
@sallyephillips
whose impersonation of a topi's snort may have been my highlight of 2021. Host
@sueperkins
was hilarious as always &
@curataceae
made us all think differently 'bout 'shrooms
A timely critique of the populist science that dominates the media: Harari’s errors are numerous and substantial, and cannot be dismissed as nit-picking. Though sold as nonfiction, some of his narratives hue closer to fiction than fact’
Winterwatch starts tonight! Catch me on Wednesdays show investigating how stressful it is being a grey seal breeding on the Isle of May (spoiler : more than you might think but not rush hour on the tube bad)
@BBCSpringwatch
@choward
@isleofmay7654
Bravo
@ChrisGPackham
for speaking out. I hate this show and the way it kills and demonises harmless critters. All in the name of entertainment. Truly gross.
People keep sending me this video which looks like a sloth playing with water on a boat trip, but is actually a stressed animal trying to escape but not comprehending how. Very 😢
This baby gorilla practising his big boy chest beating a little too enthusiastically is all I ever need to watch from now on
#babygorilla
#cutecrack
#iAmAddicted
The photographer Andre Vorster captured evidence of a turtle doing the job of cleaning a rhino’s bum. As a citizen of The UK right now, I relate to that turtle.
#brexit
#covid
#clusterfuck
Tonight at 8pm in Bbc4 they are repeating one of my favourite shows - Nature’s Miracle Orphans, in which I got to teach an orphaned baby elephant how to swim. It was EMOTIONAL.
This has made my day. It seems a number of people turned on the telly last night and mistook me for
@noelfielding11
- the only giveaway was I didn’t get the Shock Rock Question right
#lifegoals
All female line-up at the Free Uni of Glastonbury
@glastonburyuni
today! Lovely to share the stage with inspiring women
@DrJaninaRamirez
and
@mslucycooke
talking about our books: Goddess, Femina, Bitch, Ancestors
Dr Chimp is ready to see you….astonishing new evidence of chimpanzees treating each other’s wounds with insects that may offer anti-inflammatory effects