brooke foster, still waving at the end of zooms
@lonesometoast
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70,372
leftist. married to @ianfroeb . rhodes college, iowa writers workshop. proud SLPS parent (x2). co-founder, @wearenovella . STL forever
St. Louis, MO (Shaw)
Joined October 2007
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
losing it 😂💜
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i don't know who needs to hear this but Dan Levy is hosting SNL on 2/6
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My five-year-old just referred to Oscar the Grouch as “Trash Grover” and I may never recover
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important Murph update from our friends at
@WBSSTL
!
Murphy does not need a real egg to feel accomplished!!He’s quite content with his rock, and VERY protective of it! After his spring hormones have run their course, he will get bored and move on to other activities. Poor rock.
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Murphy (and his rock) live at World Bird Sanctuary in St. Louis, an extraordinary place that rehabilitates birds of prey and provides lifelong care for many kinds of birds who cannot be released back into the wild.
@WBSSTL
💜
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Good on
@RuthsChris
in STL for ceasing to advertise with Jamie Allman. Much respect for companies that take a stand with their dollars. Cc:
@staceynewman
@Jack_Seigel
@BikeCurmudgeon
Thanks for bringing this to our attention. Upon further investigation, our franchise partner has stopped its advertising. Thank you again for your concern.
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please excuse the rage in my tweets for the foreseeable future but today i learned adult men have been messaging my 9yo daughter
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My dearest Cynthia,
I write to you today a broken man.
Despite our best efforts, the Cracker Barrel fell. We fought for its potpourri-scented gift shop, its tabletop puzzles. Our tears and sweat mixed with the cream gravy atop the chicken fried steaks.
We take no pleasure in reporting that
@CrackerBarrel
has fallen.
A once family friendly establishment has caved to the mob.
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both of my babies are on lockdown right now at two separate elementary schools and i wish i could just go get them and hug them
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i think about this tweet so often that i am a true liability when listening to a Rat Pack compilation or dining at a red-sauce italian joint
What's a tweet that's so canonical in your mind you make shorthand reference to it, even if people might not know what you're talking about? (I sometimes just say "uh oh y'all it's gettin' kinda hazy" expecting people to get it)
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@clhubes
my 10yo took 4+ years to conceive and my 5yo was "oh hey haha yay!" and -- can confirm that the parallels are real
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@JakeKeuhlen
@aweary
"too spicy" is always the move. things i've convinced my 4yo are too spicy include but are certainly not limited to:
- potato chips
- sparkling water
- top ramen
- pizza that is specifically mine
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it isn't, and we are
If Missouri is so great, explain why its two biggest cities look like they're actively trying to escape?
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If you think are bagels are wild, just wait till you see our
~urban green space~
and
~comparative cost of living~
(not a joke tweet, just tired of people bagging on the middle of the country)
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asking for photos of her with her stuffed animals? I will k*ll you myself
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@OmnishamblesFPL
murphy lives in a sanctuary. the majority of the birds of prey here have sustained injuries (either in the wild or at inhumanely run zoos) that render them incapable of flight. those who can be rehabilitated are released; those who can't are cared for at the sancutary for life <3
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Also I have these pedophiles’ email addresses
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hey Missouri! Thanks for fucking it up so bad that my 3 year old now has to wear a mask to daycare.
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wesley bell has now spent $17M to unseat our congresswoman
@CoriBush
, making this the 3rd-most expensive congressional race in history. imagine having so little to stand on that you'll take millions in AIPAC money to produce ads full of lies. embarrassing! anyway, vote for Cori
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he thought these boots were a good idea AND made someone take this photo; i once again beseech illinois to mercy-annex the city of st. louis
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sorry, still losing my mind over charters that brag about their teachers not being certified and having “real life experience”
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talk one minute of shit about public schools and i will come at you with all of the gracious, empathetic, fiercely loving, protective ways SLPS teachers and staff treated our children today.
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two ladies in the coffee shop discussing their daughters' weight and i might need one of you to provide me with an alibi right quick
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In the event that this helps someone: I had COVID for 8 weeks. I have recovered thanks to amazing family and friends. But I am also ready to fight anyone who calls it a hoax.
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i've been to so many wonderful american cities but st. louis remains the most fascinating and, in so many ways, the most beautiful
i do not wish to argue
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Whoever referred to Chesterfield's dumbass plan to secede from the county as Chexit is my new best friend.
CHEXIT
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excuse me, he is not the stepdad; he is the dad who stepped up 🫡
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am i going to post less in 2023? no. will the quality of my posts improve? also no
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i love STL, but damn, our lack of walkability is depressing. walkable cities are THE DREAM and should be the norm
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@RespectfulMemes
i live here, took that photo, and posted this nearly two weeks ago, my dudes
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Jamie Allman made his account private. Guess he doesn’t like it when people take him to task for tweeting about sodomizing kids who survived school schoolings. Real titan of media right there.
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@YungWhippersna4
@notdrosebih
@chxrrydolls
@JaviBaez23
@I_heart_lies
@smorguspeterson
@michaelcarrotu
the macchiato mafioso
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if the moratorium hadn’t been reinstated, 7000 people IN ST LOUIS ALONE would’ve been without homes.
let’s keep our congresswoman
@CoriBush
in Washington, where she fights for EVERYONE.
Three years ago, we led an action on the Capitol steps to keep 11 million people in their homes.
We camped on those steps for four nights & five days—and we refused to leave until the eviction moratorium was reinstated.
Together, we organized & saved lives. Together, we won.
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shout out to the driver in front of me on Chippewa with the ultimate STL joke:
a ~vanity plate~ that says TMP TAG
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oh NO we are NOT fucking doing this when the word “gifts” literally exists
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This is what you get without an HOA. We have one place in our neighborhood that isn’t governed by the HOA and this is what we get as a neighbor.
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(•_•)
<) )╯wear
/ \
\(•_•)
( (> a
/ \
😷
<) )> mask
/ \
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i don't know why the detail of the Central kids being evacuated to the grocery store is so harrowing but it fuckin is
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Good news: my kindergartener ate braised greens at a restaurant
Bad news: she turned to me mid-forkful and said, “maybe if you cooked vegetables as good as this, I would eat them.”
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the way i just put my head directly into my hands
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st. louis, i am honestly asking: does any other american city break its own heart again and again like we do?
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vicky hartzler frantically googling “how to change name to Eric”
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as a survivor of sexual violence, seeing eric greitens just get absolutely embarrassed feels great. but seeing steve roberts get humiliated? next-level. none of you abusers are slick. we all know.
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no one needs an AR-15. fucking NO ONE NEEDS AN AR-15.
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we're talking a lot about dumpster sled guy, AS WE SHOULD BE, but we're not talking enough about how he disinfected the dumpster lid in his bathtub
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So Louisville is basically what happens when New Orleans and Nashville have a baby together and the kid is super lowkey
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my 8yo having to do virtual school on a bona fide snow day after two years of hell = my villain origin story
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i (truly) don't know who needs to hear this, BUT, if you are a woman in an abusive relationship, i've got you and i can get you out. we can be close friends or we can have never met. i have resources and i am D O N E with abusers.
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STL, if you're looking for an easy getaway (wee vacation, not fleeing a crime), cannot recommend Louisville highly enough. just under 4 hours from our downtown to theirs, and so walkable and compact that you can fit in a ~lot~ of fun. recommendations forthwith:
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Our 7-year-old made this very simple list
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respectfully, are you watching the newest season of St. Louis, Missouri
#TheWire
debuted 20 years ago tonight. I wrote about all the ways the HBO masterpiece has proven impossible to duplicate, no matter how often other shows try to imitate parts of it:
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weird take: I find no solace in, nor do I celebrate, the governor and his wife having COVID. it’s a terrible sickness; it stole my summer, and I’m one of the lucky ones. I hope they recover well and tell the truth about this thing.
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hey boy are u a pothole
bc u are all over st. louis and i am doing everything i can to avoid u
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truly, god bless anyone who is clueless enough to throw so much chum into the waters of St. Louis twitter. good luck babe
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OUR 4YO IS GETTING THE VACCINE!!!!!!!!!!!! i could cry (i still might) 💜
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I had a self-managed abortion. we tried for a baby for nearly five years, wanted nothing more. that end-of-first-tri checkup, supposed to be so joyful? Just a doppler picking up *nothing* and my wonderful OB ushering me out a side door so i could cry privately. (1/xx)
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whenever 3 men are gathered, that's called a podcast
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*OR* you could just let trans children (and adults) live their lives rather than spending taxpayer dollars to elevate your bigotry, you dumb potato
#NEW
|
@GovParsonMO
says he will call a special session if the General Assembly does not pass legislation restricting transgender athletes from playing on the team that matches the sex on their birth certificate and banning gender-affirming care for minors.
#moleg
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so our governor . . .
⚠️ went into a crowded room
⚠️ minus a mask
⚠️ in a part of our state that is being pummeled by the delta variant
⚠️ and had unmasked chats with kids too young to receive a vaccine
got it. great photo op, sir. just all-around stellar work
We toured the Boys and Girls Club of Poplar Bluff this morning, and met with students ages 6-17 years old attending the summer care program.
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Also staying home. 💕 Who else?
So many in
#STL
are acting like tomorrow is “back to normal”. Making restaurant plans, suggesting dates, visiting family. Yeah, I’m bored and lonely and miss regular work and life. This is really hard. But I’m staying home! I hope I’m still in the majority. 🙋🏻♀️
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first-grade zoom just got TURNT because a kid's turtle crawled into view
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our daughter has been making lil likenesses of our friends’ cats (and our cat) and I’m 🥹🥹🥹
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late-stage capitalism is having to do all my little work tasks while both my kids are on lockdown and the helicopters have been circling for three hours
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so furious at our dumb, science-eschewing, ethically compromised fucking governor that i can barely think straight.
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my 4yo's daycare is closed due to COVID and he is currently playing "taco restaurant" if anyone would like a taco. options are chicken, beef, or jelly
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I feel sick reading this letter. Dr. Khan should not have been subjected to this.
Dr. Faisal Khan, acting health director, sent this letter to Chairwoman Days following what he calls “racist, xenophobic, and threatening behavior” at last night’s council meeting.
He admits he threw a middle finger at some people on the way out following physical/verbal assault
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“You don’t spend $20M from a position of strength, but from a position of weakness—if your position were popular, you wouldn’t need to lie, to break spending records, just to have a chance at beating us.” -
@CoriBush
, in an interview with
@kylietcheung
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Omg this man is so embarrassing
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our governor is truly one of the worst people out there. just a feckless, bad-faith potato of a man who parrots whatever stupid things his advisors whisper in his ear
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obviously i support kunce but this "quién es mas macho" approach to politics (and life) is so exhausting
@HawleyMO
&
@LucasKunceMO
face-to-face at the Missouri State Fair ham breakfast
#MoSen
#Elections2024
#moleg
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we had a shooting yesterday on our block in broad daylight, and just now a neighbor who’s been here for 40 years brought us a beautiful bouquet and said “please don’t be discouraged.” If that isn’t the platonic ideal of community in these weird times 💜💜💜
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i am once again asking illinois to annex the City of St. Louis
Updated: Chesterfield venue adds age limit on Christmas drag show after criticism by GOP lawmaker by
@KurtEricksonPD
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@BrandyLJensen
THANK YOU
:: meaningfully closes living-room pocket door in home built in 1896 ::
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it was the fuck around of times, it was the find out of times
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my preferred forms of communication, ranked:
1. concise email
2. in-person meeting
3. text thread
4. twitter dm
5. fb message
6. us postal service
7. slack
8. messenger pigeon
9. skywriting
10. land shark
11-98. Eighty-seven people yelling in unison
99. phone
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based on the current scene at a bar in my neighborhood, COVID is apparently over. YAY WE DID IT*
*we did not do it**
**go home
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