Tucker Carlson
@TuckerCarlZyner
Followers
350
Following
131
Media
40
Statuses
188
Slut enthusiast, liberal enemy #1 , Serial Boozer
Joined December 2022
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Girl I’ve been hitting it off with just sent a selfie with my ex, it’s over for TC.
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Can’t even leave a date to take my grandma to the hospital 😂
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Jerked off to this twice so far today
Sydney Sweeney photographed by Kaylee McGregor via Instagram
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Drunk texting tinder girls at a dangerously early time today (3:17PM EST)
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Cut my ballsack open shaving, en route to the tinder girl. It’s in Gods hands now
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Seeing girls on Snapchat post their boyfriends after you just added them from tinder is diabolical
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Just found out girl I’m talking to still lives with her ex. How retarded am I?
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Drunk texted a girl from high school last night and told her “wouldn’t hurt to get inside you”
Not a good look
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One of my hoes got drunk and said the only other guy she’s fucking has a really small dick
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Mom just accused me of still being drunk from the night before (I’m hammered)
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Do you know about Negra night?
Probably not, I invented it when I got no pussy in South Florida
I lock my phone away, turn on the Sopranos
I drink 18 Modelo Negras
I text and call 7 different girls with no response
That’s simply it
I embarrass myself all night
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The left is going to be in shambles when they find out I’m having a cocktail on the water
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Got a tinder hookup 10 min out and I’m still shitting liquid from the 34 beers last night
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Having unsupervised access to the internet
10 years old boy writing program in python...what were you doing at his age?
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Arguing with the situationship about being loyal and she sends screenshots of your hinge and tinder is a huge ball buster
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Studying crime demographic facts so I can own my gay liberal sister in 3 days
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Would love to see this guy relapse and go on an absolute generational bender
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Ban the obese from public
Got a morbidly obese bitch next to me on this flight
arm rest has literally disappeared
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Taking a heinous hangover shit moments before a hinge date
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Cutting limes for Coronas this drunk should be an Olympic sport
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Not being able to open a screw top Coors Light in front of a female kind of night
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Was just informed by my potential new girlfriend that she celebrates her birthday the entire month of September. How cooked is Tucker?
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Sexted a trans girl from tinder at 4:30am, that tells you the kind of night I had
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Got soap in my cock tip this morning and my day has not improved
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Anyone living in South Florida during spring break hates black women
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Got a morbidly obese bitch next to me on this flight
arm rest has literally disappeared
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Zero recollection of how I got home from the bar last night
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Just got home and found out Dad drank all my beers, life really comes full circle
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Hot goth girl from tinder is into strap ons
What the fuck should I do?
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Christmas with a family who thinks a 3rd drink is controversial is worse then getting crucified
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Group of black kids on bicycles hit my car in traffic today, feeling extremely racist
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Just matched with a tall goth mommy on hinge, thoughts on an opening line?
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If you see a 2019 red Jeep Wrangler license plate 516-BMV driving recklessly around Fort Lauderdale tonight, mind your fucking business.
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