#1 Charlie Lindgren Fan Margaret H. LastName ⚾️
@RestYourBreasts
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670
Following
2,989
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Statuses
37,750
Manic depression, hockey obsession, 3.5 metric tons of raw, sexual aggression. @SuperMex44 is my favorite person!
Virginia, USA, she/her
Joined January 2015
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Pinned Tweet
I AM ACTIVELY GOING TO THROW UP
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There is no dog here, I dunno what you're talking about.
This is Burger. He thinks he’s invisible. Would’ve pulled it off if it weren’t for his wiggles. 13/10 still very sneaky
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@womenpostingws
I have a friend who sends dick pics to guys who send unsolicited dick pics. He even dresses his dick up in little ween sweaters. Then says "If you didn't like this, *woman's name* didn't, either. Next time I catch you sending unsolicited dick pics, I'm sending them to your mom."
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@bigfatmoosepssy
This is my bestest friend's cat, Clockwork, and he is an angel baby that I would commit several federal crimes for
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"Among Us hack"
I saw it trending and just wanted to show y'all my dog 🥺💖
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@OddPercentage
@ANTWTF
I got a Facebook ban once for posting this picture.
I'm a white people.
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@freshhel
Not gonna lie, I've always thought he was hot, in a "skinny white boy that looks like he hasn't slept in a week" way.
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@crocfanpage
This is the caption from the person who actually made him. He lives in a Facebook group called "Bad Taxidermy," and his Instagram username is oscarmeyerweinercat.
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@mcmansionhell
@strawssuu
As an adult, ADHD has absolutely fucked up my memory. I don't remember much from childhood, except some of the traumatic parts. I don't remember a lot of things I need to do, so I can't even do retail jobs right. I still live with my parents because I struggle to care for myself.
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@lilaltoid__
My brother is across the country, and he's legit the person I call during panic attacks. I don't think he understands the anxiety disorder very well, but he tries his hardest to get me through them, and he does an amazing job. I love him a lot.
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@velveetaranch1
My dad tells us how many steps he got in that day EVERY SINGLE NIGHT over dinner. 😭
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@babblingfringe
@superloafcat
My dad grew up in farmland, and he talks about how people would lock their car doors during zucchini season because you'd come back to a whole basket of zucchini in your front seat.
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@GoodReddit
- thousands of hours into New Leaf because I wanted to make my island perfect for my best friend's villager. If my real friend couldn't see it, my virtual friend would, and I liked to think he was proud of me.
I've gotten the "fake gamer girl" comment a lot, but I'm alive, so.
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@kenklippenstein
I wish he could've continued to stay on Twitter without being a threat to literally the whole world.
I miss this bullshit.
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@GoodReddit
Kinda same? But Animal Crossing. My best friend had committed suicide, and I was in a fairly abusive relationship, so I was so close to just ending it. Mom got me Animal Crossing because she thought it looked fun.
There's a villager with my best friend's name. I dumped literal -
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@PoorlyAgedStuff
Social workers in Texas are now allowed to reject clients for being LGBTQ+ or having a disability, per Gov. Greg Abbott’s recommendation.
This is Greg Abbott.
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@OoCPokemon
I had to get my Bulbasaur's fresh-cut flower scent replaced once (there's a whole story to this), and the manager, god bless his soul, just shoved his whole fist up my Bulbasaur's ass and apologized the whole time 😭 Re-sewing him gave him a DUMP TRUCK of an ass, though.
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@verysmallriver
My boyfriend and I call going to bed "the big sleppy" because I made a typo once. That's permanently in the lexicon now.
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@DoctorPissPants
There is no worse feeling than going to an ice skating rink, barely making it onto the ice without falling over, and watching some fuckin' six year old figure skating in the middle of the ice. 😭
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@Tony_Son13
My neighbor's kid, at the age of five, tried to ask another neighbor's kid, out on a date. He asked, "Are you free tomorrow?" and she replied "I'm not free, I'm four!!"
I STILL cackle, omg.
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@mcmansionhell
@strawssuu
I cannot "adult." I know a lot of people say it as a joke, but I quite literally can't. It's ruining me. And I don't know what to do.
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@gregkellyusa
@RepLizCheney
1.) Bison. These are bison.
2.) Shut up. They live here. This is a national park. You aren't required to be there.
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@MichaelaOkla
I'm dressing up as a plague doctor, and I've convinced my mom to go as Trump in a hospital gown. We're making signs, hers is "COVID-19 is FAKE NEWS," and mine is "I'm with stupid."
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@CSugarsweets
My mom went to the ER for symptoms of a heart attack. They did some tests, and told her "Welp, it's not a heart attack." She asked what the hell was going on, and they said "I dunno, see a specialist," and sent her home with a $5k bill.
Needed her gallbladder removed.
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@feederofcats
I had a cat like this, but the reason for that was because she was the worst animal alive. Lived off of spite and anger, never experienced joy, only saw murder.
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@eerrriiicaa
That's still better than the guy I was into, who told me a few days ago that I was "unlovable" while I was mid-panic attack. 🙃
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@PirateKingBoros
@very_kenny
@AndrewMannix
@chick_in_kiev
Just say you're racist and move on, you absolute wilted cabbage.
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@objsucks
He yelled at me when I didn't talk to him for a while after my best friend killed himself 🙃
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@imblackonline
I have been trying to challenge Elon Musk to a duel to the death for over a year now. When I win, I want his teeth.
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@femaleweezerfan
The building where the assassination of Abraham Lincoln was planned is now an Asian fusion restaurant called Wok And Roll
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@joqatana
@GlitterCheese
I live in Virginia, and all we learned about for multiple years was Jamestown and how Virginia history is US history, or some shit. I fuckin' hate American history, fam.
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@Rachuske
Dakota's named after South Dakota, because it's where my dad's from and my mom and I thought naming her after something he cared about would make him less furious about the fact we brought home a dog without telling him about it first.
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@BigJigglyPanda
I would lay down my life for Chester.
I have to ask, does he ever sit in the Power Stance like Dakota does? Because I'd kill for a picture of that.
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@CSugarsweets
Note, they didn't tell her WHAT kind of specialist. Just "a specialist." It took months of her being in debilitating pain for them to figure out what it was, and then another month for a scheduled surgery.
Thankfully we have insurance, that's covered most of the bills. Still.
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@Cuthpaste
The question was "did anyone have diarrhea as their first symptom of COVID?"
Bacon soda. BACON SODA.
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@GetNikkDon
@O773R
@PCArnav
Only sad news? Those two guys who walked off a cliff playing Pokémon Go.
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@enbydragunov
@RylanConnolly
@WrittenByHanna
The most intense game of "got your nose" I've EVER seen
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Ily
@nastyaovechkin
If there were a “Sports Twitter” Hall of Fame, honoring the best sports-related tweets of all time, what would be your nominee?
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@frankoceanswyfe
Excuse me ma’am, not to be disrespectful or rude but could you please take post down. That is my sister who was killed by a metra train. And it this post is very disrespectful. Idk who you are or if you even know her but I need you to take this down please.
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@adamgreattweet
I figured out the maximum amount of sleeping pills I can take without needing to be in a hospital for surveillance.
I wake up at 2 PM.
I carry a teddy bear around at all times, even when I need to go somewhere. He has a shirt that says "Emotional Support Bear."
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@babooshke
Anyway, if a simp wants to just link his credit card to my Amazon account, that'd rock.
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@MilitantMusa
@automatonomega
@catshouldnt
@lsthart
That cat pays no rent, no medical bills, and free food. They're doin' okay.
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@besf0rt
Gonna yell at my parents for not having an apartheid emerald mine, and for teaching me empathy
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@hellodonavon
I went in the other day and saw White Clam, which is what they called me in high school.
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@jenny2x4
I've always gotten weird vibes from her. Never watched her stuff. Glad I didn't now.
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I see "DILFs" is trending, so I would like to offer the following piece of information if some of y'all don't know about this
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