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@blahblahemily

Followers
7,533
Following
606
Media
288
Statuses
19,878

no one does it better l $20 dm fee $blahblahemily

she/her
Joined January 2012
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@blahblahemily
emz!
8 months
sometimes the bravest thing a girl can do is eat what’s in the house when she really wants thai food
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
one time I was standing on the train platform with my airpods in and a guy taps me so I take one out and he goes “I just wanted to let you know i’m not trying to k*ll myself, I’m just jumping down to grab my hat” and jumped onto the tracks
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@blahblahemily
emz!
10 months
can someone tell me how the fuck to be ready for this? instead of just repeatedly saying it’s happening and we need to be ready?
@xiyebastida
Xiye Bastida
10 months
NYC 3 months apart. The climate crisis will manifest in hundreds of ways and we need to be ready
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
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@blahblahemily
emz!
7 months
i’m addicted to liking people’s instagram story. giving validation and being friendly without giving them an option to answer me? yes please
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
the real gender binary is if you read ED as erectile dysfunction or eating disorder
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@blahblahemily
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3 years
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@blahblahemily
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2 years
people who think this is fake have clearly never been to new york lmfaooo
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
men will masturbate to your instagram posts and not even like them 😭
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@blahblahemily
emz!
7 months
I could not be a serial killer. I’d get drunk and be like “can I tell you a secret” in the bar bathroom
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 months
people will be like “ew putting your suitcase on your bed is the most disgusting thing you could do” and it’s like no. not me. i’m capable of much more disgusting things
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okay I DID my laundry but what’s next? putting it away? fuck everything
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
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@blahblahemily
emz!
5 months
okay i’ll bite…… who is joe biden
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
the feminine urge to sexualize yourself when what you really need is emotional closeness
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
I might be old fashioned but I think having huge tits should always get me special privileges
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@blahblahemily
emz!
10 months
@drivingme_mads finally. a clear answer
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
a girl that I had to ‘hey girly’ just got engaged to the guy that I had to ‘hey girly’ her about… hate to see it
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sorry for having needs that wasn’t very Sex Object of me
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
sex is NOT about making babies. it’s about trying to get people to love you. duh
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
girlie walking by with her bf yelled “I love your tits” at me on the street and I yelled back “it’s still objectification if you’re a woman” and she didn’t love that at all
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
if I help you work things out with your girlfriend that’s OUR girlfriend now
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
sorry i’m a real person with needs do u still think i’m hot
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
it’s insane that ‘I like him so much I want to put his penis in my mouth’ is just like a normal feeling
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@blahblahemily
emz!
7 months
when I say “i’ll be there in spirit” please understand I am expressing my intention to haunt you
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
shutting the fuck up is a lost art
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
the notion that you have to wear bras if you have big tits is a rumor pushed by the victoria’s secret industrial complex
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 months
the way this tweet rises every year. how do y’all even find it
@blahblahemily
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3 years
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@blahblahemily
emz!
8 months
how I sleep at night when I think about the fact that every close male friend i’ve ever had has gotten to know me on a deep level and still only saw me as a therapist mommy sex toy or stand in girlfriend and was never able to see me as a person outside of what they wanted from me
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
breaking my fast by sucking dick, happy yom kippur everyone!!
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
guys why is being alive so expensive. I keep thinking “next month will be cheaper” and it never is
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
you look like you listen to EDM (derogatory)
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i think it’s neat how research shows that men literally do not value career ambition and success in women they want to date. like at best they’re indifferent and at worst they hate it
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
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@blahblahemily
emz!
10 months
are men not embarrassed when they actually look like their wife's father?????????????
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
10 months
Dane Cook, 51, marries longtime partner Kelsi Taylor, 24, after six years of dating.
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
I had sex in every month of 2021 and to me that’s beautiful <3
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@blahblahemily
emz!
10 months
what’s it called when you have the sunday scaries but like every single day of your life?
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
need a man to look THIS shocked that he bagged me
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
I tweet for the girlies who take the padding out of every bathing suit
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
if this tweet ruined your day………… good <3
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
there are girls on tik tok who try clothes to see if they work with big tits and that’s the type of influencer I think I should be
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
I think men should have to pay me every time they think about my boobs
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
people will be like “you don’t have to dress slutty for halloween” but…. yes I do
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Breaking News: Under the Cork Tree officially too old for half the guys in the pop punk scene to hit on
@falloutboy
Fall Out Boy
1 year
From Under The Cork Tree is all grown up - 18 years!
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@blahblahemily
emz!
9 months
showing y’all that i’m wifey material this halloween 👰‍♀️💍
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making a list of unmarried couples who captioned their vday posts “my forever valentine” so I can check if they’re still together next year
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
I have hundreds of dms asking me if I sell nudes and it’s like …… don’t you think if I did there would be an indication of that somewhere on this twitter? u think i’m the stupidest saleswoman in the world?
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
this was what he sent me after I messaged her 💖
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
I feel like my boobs make every outfit look less casual and it pisses me off so deeply
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
congrats to them!
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
telling him to finish inside me? in THIS political climate?
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
I love my fans 🥰
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
I think you should be able to dress a lil slutty no matter what your profession is
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oh shit oh fuck this is getting retweeted again………. it’s that time of year
@blahblahemily
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3 years
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
people will never look through your instagram story highlights unless they hate you or want to fuck you
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@blahblahemily
emz!
16 days
Sabrina Carpenter is gorgeous and also kinda looks like a doll who came to life to kill you
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beginning vs end of vacation selfies
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
people rly get married at 25 years old. horrifying
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
people love to be like “I don’t want my tax money paying for someone else’s student loans” but I don’t want my tax money paying for cops to shoot innocent children and then be placed on paid leave but here we are baby
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
the chokehold the middle name ‘marie’ had on white parents in the 90’s is unfathomable
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
just know that if i’m posting a man on instagram and constantly losing followers for it he IS in fact fucking me raw
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
@uhlessaa spoken like a real apple music user
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@blahblahemily
emz!
4 months
getting married at 26 in nyc is the equivalent of getting married at 21 in the middle of the country
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girls who make drastic hair changes on a whim>>>>
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@blahblahemily
emz!
9 months
black may be my color
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
thank you for drawing attention to this important issue 🙏🏼
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
men will make a happy birthday post for a professional athlete and not their girlfriend of 2 years
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
imagine dating me, a girl with perfect tits. no follow up to this, just imagine and then hate your life because it’s not true
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
since this got more attention than I anticipated let me just say: when you warn someone and they get angry, accuse you of lying, stay with the guy etc try to hold no judgment or bitterness or ‘I told her so’ attitude. only empathy here, I wont judge women for men’s shit behavior
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your local unemployed girl on a wednesday
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in pool/after pool
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@blahblahemily
emz!
10 months
pictures of me from the summertime🫶🏼
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@blahblahemily
emz!
9 months
men will be like "I will never stop chasing you" and the 'chasing you' is just fire reacting to all your instagram stories
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@blahblahemily
emz!
1 month
turning 27 y’all need anything?
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
girls just wanna have fun
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@blahblahemily
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3 years
now I wish all apple music users a very shut up❤️
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@blahblahemily
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2 years
and they were SISTERS
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@blahblahemily
emz!
4 months
can someone who’s really good at girl math justify a $300 outfit purchase for me real quick
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
asked my bf what he wants for his birthday and he said “a hug” like cmon dude at least ask for anal or something
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@blahblahemily
emz!
8 months
hot girls gain followers whenever they post pictures of themselves and lose followers whenever they say anything at all
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
ask me why this is called my “bribery dress”
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I overachieve because I want men to run from me in fear
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@blahblahemily
emz!
5 months
it disgusts me to my core that in order to get 8 hours of sleep I would need to be ASLEEP at 9 pm.
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
the thing about this is that it’s so unsatisfying to me because they do not care. they do not see themselves as hypocrites, they see themselves as deserving and everyone else as lazy freeloaders
@trayne_wreck
rayne
2 years
Never getting off this app, etc etc.
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
summer glow rly do be hittin different
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
proud to announce that i’m a sugar grandbaby! (my sister bought me shoes with the money she got from a simp)
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
sry all gotta repost this but once again hi it’s my birthday, I look like this, and I have a tip jar open🫶🏼
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
the topic is hourglass figures
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sooooo what did y’all get me for my birthday 👉🏼👈🏼
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
it’s hot to be mysterious but it’s even hotter to be publicly unhinged
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@blahblahemily
emz!
11 months
cheeeeeers🥂
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
kinda fucked up that trauma lives in the body.... like move out? tf
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
‘believe male abuse victims’ was actually not meant to be used to attack female abuse victims, just fyi
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
why are people so obsessed with being the main character? make me a background character with an easy life pls
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@blahblahemily
emz!
3 years
gonna “wow this football game is crazy” my way into some dick
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
at every family gathering you should be able to pick one person to put a muzzle on
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@blahblahemily
emz!
2 years
hey guys it’s sooo hot in nyc rn 🥵
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it’s ok to like taylor swift I just wish y’all would do it quietly
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