emz!
@blahblahemily
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no one does it better l $20 dm fee $blahblahemily
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Pinned Tweet
sometimes the bravest thing a girl can do is eat what’s in the house when she really wants thai food
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one time I was standing on the train platform with my airpods in and a guy taps me so I take one out and he goes “I just wanted to let you know i’m not trying to k*ll myself, I’m just jumping down to grab my hat” and jumped onto the tracks
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can someone tell me how the fuck to be ready for this? instead of just repeatedly saying it’s happening and we need to be ready?
NYC 3 months apart. The climate crisis will manifest in hundreds of ways and we need to be ready
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i’m addicted to liking people’s instagram story. giving validation and being friendly without giving them an option to answer me? yes please
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the real gender binary is if you read ED as erectile dysfunction or eating disorder
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people who think this is fake have clearly never been to new york lmfaooo
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men will masturbate to your instagram posts and not even like them 😭
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I could not be a serial killer. I’d get drunk and be like “can I tell you a secret” in the bar bathroom
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people will be like “ew putting your suitcase on your bed is the most disgusting thing you could do” and it’s like no. not me. i’m capable of much more disgusting things
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okay I DID my laundry but what’s next? putting it away? fuck everything
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the feminine urge to sexualize yourself when what you really need is emotional closeness
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I might be old fashioned but I think having huge tits should always get me special privileges
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a girl that I had to ‘hey girly’ just got engaged to the guy that I had to ‘hey girly’ her about… hate to see it
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sex is NOT about making babies. it’s about trying to get people to love you. duh
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girlie walking by with her bf yelled “I love your tits” at me on the street and I yelled back “it’s still objectification if you’re a woman” and she didn’t love that at all
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if I help you work things out with your girlfriend that’s OUR girlfriend now
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it’s insane that ‘I like him so much I want to put his penis in my mouth’ is just like a normal feeling
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when I say “i’ll be there in spirit” please understand I am expressing my intention to haunt you
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the notion that you have to wear bras if you have big tits is a rumor pushed by the victoria’s secret industrial complex
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the way this tweet rises every year. how do y’all even find it
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how I sleep at night when I think about the fact that every close male friend i’ve ever had has gotten to know me on a deep level and still only saw me as a therapist mommy sex toy or stand in girlfriend and was never able to see me as a person outside of what they wanted from me
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guys why is being alive so expensive. I keep thinking “next month will be cheaper” and it never is
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i think it’s neat how research shows that men literally do not value career ambition and success in women they want to date. like at best they’re indifferent and at worst they hate it
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are men not embarrassed when they actually look like their wife's father?????????????
Dane Cook, 51, marries longtime partner Kelsi Taylor, 24, after six years of dating.
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I had sex in every month of 2021 and to me that’s beautiful <3
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what’s it called when you have the sunday scaries but like every single day of your life?
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I tweet for the girlies who take the padding out of every bathing suit
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there are girls on tik tok who try clothes to see if they work with big tits and that’s the type of influencer I think I should be
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I think men should have to pay me every time they think about my boobs
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people will be like “you don’t have to dress slutty for halloween” but…. yes I do
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Breaking News: Under the Cork Tree officially too old for half the guys in the pop punk scene to hit on
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making a list of unmarried couples who captioned their vday posts “my forever valentine” so I can check if they’re still together next year
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I have hundreds of dms asking me if I sell nudes and it’s like …… don’t you think if I did there would be an indication of that somewhere on this twitter? u think i’m the stupidest saleswoman in the world?
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I feel like my boobs make every outfit look less casual and it pisses me off so deeply
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I think you should be able to dress a lil slutty no matter what your profession is
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oh shit oh fuck this is getting retweeted again………. it’s that time of year
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people will never look through your instagram story highlights unless they hate you or want to fuck you
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Sabrina Carpenter is gorgeous and also kinda looks like a doll who came to life to kill you
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people love to be like “I don’t want my tax money paying for someone else’s student loans” but I don’t want my tax money paying for cops to shoot innocent children and then be placed on paid leave but here we are baby
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the chokehold the middle name ‘marie’ had on white parents in the 90’s is unfathomable
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just know that if i’m posting a man on instagram and constantly losing followers for it he IS in fact fucking me raw
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getting married at 26 in nyc is the equivalent of getting married at 21 in the middle of the country
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men will make a happy birthday post for a professional athlete and not their girlfriend of 2 years
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imagine dating me, a girl with perfect tits. no follow up to this, just imagine and then hate your life because it’s not true
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since this got more attention than I anticipated let me just say: when you warn someone and they get angry, accuse you of lying, stay with the guy etc try to hold no judgment or bitterness or ‘I told her so’ attitude. only empathy here, I wont judge women for men’s shit behavior
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men will be like "I will never stop chasing you" and the 'chasing you' is just fire reacting to all your instagram stories
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can someone who’s really good at girl math justify a $300 outfit purchase for me real quick
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asked my bf what he wants for his birthday and he said “a hug” like cmon dude at least ask for anal or something
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hot girls gain followers whenever they post pictures of themselves and lose followers whenever they say anything at all
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it disgusts me to my core that in order to get 8 hours of sleep I would need to be ASLEEP at 9 pm.
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the thing about this is that it’s so unsatisfying to me because they do not care. they do not see themselves as hypocrites, they see themselves as deserving and everyone else as lazy freeloaders
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proud to announce that i’m a sugar grandbaby! (my sister bought me shoes with the money she got from a simp)
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sry all gotta repost this but once again hi it’s my birthday, I look like this, and I have a tip jar open🫶🏼
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it’s hot to be mysterious but it’s even hotter to be publicly unhinged
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kinda fucked up that trauma lives in the body.... like move out? tf
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‘believe male abuse victims’ was actually not meant to be used to attack female abuse victims, just fyi
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why are people so obsessed with being the main character? make me a background character with an easy life pls
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at every family gathering you should be able to pick one person to put a muzzle on
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it’s ok to like taylor swift I just wish y’all would do it quietly
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