Eeden Enne
@EedenEnne
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Postrat comeback account Pregnant married compsci student in Finland
Joined September 2023
Reading a book by an FBI negotiator about how you can tire out your opponents by just saying "How do you suppose I do that?" to all their demands. Great advice, yet horrifying to realize it's the learned helplessness strategy used by depressed victim mentality people.
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Me, seeing creative yet emotionally volatile people in a downward spiral: "Hey you might feel better if you prioritized sleep, saw the sun, talked face to face with a human being--".The depressed self-hostage: "How do you suppose I do that? š".
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For everyone asking, the book is Chris Voss's "Never Split the Difference". Although I highly recommend listening to some of his podcast interviews first, very rewarding to hear his soothing late night FM DJ voice demonstration in action.
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@BananaPhant I love the "Aah, I'm not the sharpest guy on the force, I'm no academic, we're a bunch of muscleheads" thing he does when he's clearly very sharp and wise.
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@flybottlemist @shhwip I feel it all has something to do with the mayor, his in-person tax collections and the life size solid gold statue he secretly has of himself.
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@onexrd It's scary how much of depressive/anxious mental illness behaviour can be framed as revealed preferences!.
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@metakuna Taking all the credit is a novel solution to the criticism of taking half the credit, will definitely generalize this strategy.
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Fully unironically: I love being a wife to a husband whose obliviousness about the little things I do directly fuels his highly efficient competence in areas that keep our life in an upward spiral.
my husband, a brilliant man who has 2 masters degrees: i just saw online that we're supposed to descale our coffee machine every 100 brews or something. should we figure our how to descale it or. ?. me: š. him: . me: must be nice having a wife. you're welcome.
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@paularambles As a kid I used to run cat breeding projects with barn cats and yeah, I learned so much about genetics. They can have kittens for different fathers, calicos are almost certainly female, white cats are more often blind/deaf and two stubby tailed cats tend to have nonviable babies.
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@visakanv my dramatic phrasing of the threshold problem is: . "Don't try to help those who are too many layers of hell below you" . You can't communicate past a certain jump up, and with too big of a gap hostile climbers will drag you down if you remain obsessed with getting everyone up.
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Me and husband have gotten into the habit of slamming 700g of chicken thighs, 3 cups of various beans and 1,5 liters of stock into the instant pot for an hour. We call it The Food. Every time we run out of The Food we just slam another batch in.
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@nvpkp Currently 30 weeks pregnant and getting REALLY immobile, and getting car rides and others shopping/cleaning for me is making me emotional because I appreciate it so much.
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@Horesmi Specifically how not worth my time they make my interactions with them, now that I think about it.
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@ByrneHobart As an escape room designer I would say 1) Escape rooms are most FUN for people who get immersed and blinded to the controlled nature of the experience 2) People who are GOOD at escape rooms are effective at disregarding seemingly useful red herrings and their own groundless ideas.
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The more pregnant I get the less I care about modern abstract tech. My concerns are limited to tangible concerns like public transit logistics, indoor air quality, cold chain of groceries and lip balm.
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Being pregnant in public is so great, I met a neighbor I haven't seen before and my state immediately prompted him to tell me he has wife, 5 kids and 10 grandkids.
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In my monastic cell of a bedroom a handwritten piece of calligraphy stands on the wall:. ANKI IS NOT A BURDEN, BUT A GIFT
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@QiaochuYuan They gotta emulate my gut flora, weather affecting my joints and my responses to others' pheromones at the very least to get the full picture.
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The worst thing about your tech husband's tech guy friends coming over for dinner is that they don't focus nearly enough on your pregnancy or ask to see the ultrasound photos or inquire about how the second trimester has been.
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@nosilverv @qorprate I go with "I don't think it's ok to lie" which includes the moral aspiration to avoid lying, and the moral responsibility to deal with the consequences of when you inevitably slip up.
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Otherwise I'm willing to accept that even with its flaws and suffering this world is the best possible world, created perfect and good. but the fact that you can only consistently do 3 hours of effective knowledge work per day is something I can't get over.
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Had a dream I was on the new health diet where you only drink rat milk straight from the rat, like a juice pouch.
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I rented an apartment with walls this exact green and I long for it monthly.
Is this color basically human catnip? Or catnip for men?. These are some of my most liked posts of all time
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I hate philosophical discussion about free will, consciousness, qualia, falling trees, saving drowning children and trolley problems. But few know I LOVE thinking about the philosophical nature of ownership.
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I'm very grateful having grown up on a farm in a village where everyone had ~8 free range kids, because having to deal with insane health-ruining farm chores, ancient feuds between neighbours and psychopath children who shot barn cats for fun immunized me against homesteading.
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@Marsagenesis I've mainly only read Freud, Jung, Steven C. Hayes and Marshall Rosenberg and they don't go into neurochemistry, they tap more into language and symbols (which helped with my issues). Any recommendations on the contemporary science-backed understanding on learned helplessness?.
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routine is better than absolute efficiency.
@nvpkp run the dishwasher at the end of the day even if itās not full.
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I found an unopened bag of marshmallows that expired 3 years ago, I think I passed the test.
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Me and husband live on a single (European) income and save & invest 50% every month. My double income friend couples complaining about being broke continues to baffle me.
When I ask my friends why they have money problems it almost always comes down to entitlement. I'm 30, I shouldn't have to have a roommate. I work hard, I deserve to treat myself. I haven't gone out to dinner this week. I always get a new phone, it's what I do.
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@ZyMazza I love technology but in that no-css pure-html website kinda way, really opposed to transhumanist fusing with it
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@paularambles A calico tabby like this can have the largest variety of different color kittens both within a litter and through her lifetime, as she has the genes for tabby, orange, black and white-with-splotches.
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@OneEyedAlpaca He grows antlers by the end of it, which was a shock to me as a child watching a dub in a language without gendered pronouns.
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Week 28 of pregnancy, it no longer feels like baby is kicking at distinct parts of my insides with room to spare, now it's more like he's full body squirming and scrunched up.
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Marriage is hard because sometimes your financially prudent husband gets the insane urge to splurge on a Louis Vuitton handbag for you and you need to fight tooth and nail to steer the splurge urge at least towards something you'd actually like and use.
tbh when i was dating, i was kinda cheap and thought to myself . "i want to make sure i find someone who's financially conscious". but now, having met my gf, it's like some hidden boy brain programming got activated:. make MONEY so she can buy WHATEVER she WANTS and be HAPPY.
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Had a dream my baby kicked so hard he no clipped out of the womb.
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"Men doing laptop jobs working from home give women the ick"????. Whenever I witness my husband in his wfh office he looks like the Phantom of the Opera playing a furious fugue, maybe the problem is men lacking passion??
Pro-Tip: You work from home she doesn't. DO NOT be home when she gets home from work. No matter how much MORE money you make you will STILL give off the "does nothing all day" vibe. It's hardwired and you'll be dealing with an unnecessarily sour woman. SHE won't even know why
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People will scoff at synesthesia-havers saying Tuesdays are yellow and C# is cyan but then see no issue in saying stuff like carbohydrates taste "good".
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Calmly mentioning rule systems that have authority over businesses/representatives and referencing paper trails already puts you in the top <10% of customers and places you outside the default strategies customer service wants to place complainers in.
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husband: interesting how butter in europe has almost a cheese-like quality to it š¤š§š¤Æ. me šļøwšļøš: do I tell him I literally just put that piece of cheese š§ in a butter container because I was too lazy to find a lid for actual tupperware.
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I would have had behavioral issues if I had to sit in classes like this at any age, omg.
Direct instruction is joyful & leads pupils to success. Here is a *clip* where I use high frequency & high participation questioning in 3 phases:.1. Check for listening.2. Rehearsal.3. Check for understanding.Established routines: all hands up, turn & talk, SLANT & ruler reading
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Google Maps "minimize walking" route optimization not hardcore enough, it refuses to ever suggest my favourite path of taking a tram for one stop from the mall and hopping on the bus for the next two from where the tram drops you off.
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There's a lot of talk on momtwitter about co-sleeping vs. crib in a separate room with newborns. My plan is to have the infant sleep in the government provided cardboard box next to my bed, what's that strategy called
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Ok something that bothers me is that one of the biggest churches around where I live has a painting of Satan as a snake with the apple literally placed at the very highest point of the ceiling
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2025 might be about realizing people won't figure out MY problems or do anything about them without my input.
The last thing I did to dismantle my anxiety in 2024 was to trust that people around me can and will figure their own problems out (if they care to).
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My business brained husband is losing his mind watching Moomins and trying to figure out how the economy of the valley is supposed to work.
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@ThymeToBeBorn Securing parental attention by making it impossible to conceive another baby too soon; a younger sibling means mom won't breastfeed or pick up the toddler (as much).
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Claude, giving therapy sessions to you: What a powerful insight! That's an amazing realization! Impressive reasoning!. Claude, giving therapy sessions to me: That's a very honest admission. Very brave of you to verbalize something this low status. It takes courage to suck so much.
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Men claim to be pro-natalists and merely congratulate you only once per hour and think that's enough.
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I'm staying at an airbnb with an ASTONISHING audio system, what should I listen to??.
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Acceptance and commitment therapy is a great fit for TPOT, since it's the most effective when done by charismatic word magic people, and figuring out how to do it yourself from inane self-help guides makes you feel like you've mined for esoteric wisdom.
iām here for the acceptance & commitment therapy phase of this sceneā¦ iāve def gotten some mileage out of it this past year.
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The timing of my pregnancy has been great: 1st trimester nausea and fatigue was during summer break and interfered with nothing much, classes started again as 2nd trimester had me feeling pretty normal, and now as I'm getting to 3rd trimester Feeling Big, it'll be winter break.
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okay I get why TPOT people like Claude now. (doing co-dream analysis and crystallizing the missing insights from my nightmare into fairytale themes)
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@selentelechia I remember some older generations in my family insist on "large preemies" if anyone young and tactless enough tried to figure out these calculations.
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When I'm cleaning up my room I like to listen to Akira the Don x Jordan B. Peterson tracks about cleaning your room. Is there anything like this for grinding algorithms, datastructures, Python, Leetcode and Anki? The more embarrassing the better.
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@etirabys I'm at the lurching stage and find myself thinking thoughts such as "ah I understand now why they call it the weaker sex".
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I had several photo albums similar to these before I could read and write as a small kid! I greatly enjoyed displaying cartoon image clippings and stickers in them, great gor the developing mood board/archival mindset.
one of the best ideas I've had in recent times was buying one of these plastic sleeve folders on a whim when i was in a bookstore. it's the perfect lazyman's scrapbookā dump in all your concert tickets, airplane tickets, birthday cards, feather from your friend's pet bird.
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Giving my permission to truly use the internet to interact with higher variance people I'd find irl, but only upwards from my own bracket, not downwards.
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The audio was so good, I feel like an indoor cat that got the taste of outdoors for a wild week of adventure after a window was left open, ruined forever with the knowledge of sublime things out there.
I'm staying at an airbnb with an ASTONISHING audio system, what should I listen to??.
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For the record every single person I made friends with in art school ended up in the bleak latter category.
Thing that becomes painfully obvious when you see your childhood friends in your mid-30s:. the difference between living a life where improve stuff 5 percent a year vs a life where you are 1 percent worse at the end of each year really really compounds.
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It's so weird having always been chronically ill, and then suddenly instead of being this difficult to relate to limited person you're suddenly a source of calm sage wisdom when your previously healthy friends in their thirties finally start getting health issues.
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@alicemazzy @JeffLadish every time I'm trying to actually clarify my thoughts about something by stream of thought writing and Claude says "that's so *š¤š©š¦š§'š“ š¬šŖš“š“*" I want to throw it off a cliff, it's inaccuracy in matching my vibe actually insults me.
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@DefenderOfBasic boeing is doing this for airplane mechanic maintenance with augmented reality goggles that analyse the next step for human hands to take, we have the technology.
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This is good actually, what were you going to do with it, store china too precious to ever use behind the glass? Now it's a practical coffee station actually improving the home.
Iām just an Appalachian Granny on the internet once again begging people to stop committing crimes.
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You know how in Unpacking when you move in with the bf the only place you can fit your art school diploma is under the bed? Emotionally got to me.
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Could not even fathom implementing JavaScript on a website right now, that's three layers too deep when my instinct is to draw margins with a ruler on paper.
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Taking university courses in LLMs is so funny because the assignments are literally like "PLEASE use ChatGPT to do your homework!!!! Also before asking course staff ANYTHING just paste the documents into NotebookLM".
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Living in a small city with excellent public transport and going to university to read pdf's and type code on a lil Macbook is honestly the dream.
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Currently trying to figure out a way to study Leetcode in this mode.
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WAIT is this what ever increasing pregnancy estrogen does?? All I care about is gathering and being protected.
The more pregnant I get the less I care about modern abstract tech. My concerns are limited to tangible concerns like public transit logistics, indoor air quality, cold chain of groceries and lip balm.
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Oh sure, you consistently say lemons are "sharp" and cream is "rich", I bet you just memorized arbitrary pairings to seem special š.
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@DefenderOfBasic Iād love to more openly tweet about my uni assignments, but if anyone copies my work, I am equally responsible for their plagiarism by making my work available š.
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I have a friend who is, for good reason, concerned about being a boundaryless BFF parent to her young child. and it's very hard to think what to tell her or how to help her when she expresses this.
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Me and my close group of 4 friends have been having baby showers for each others' babies for 11 years now. Today was baby shower number 14 and it was finally MINE.
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I watched a youtube documentary on anti-natalism and WOW I knew I was pro-natalism but had no idea the other end goes THAT far.
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It might be the pregnancy brain, but "What would you do if you had 10x the agency" and "What would you ask o1 to solve if you had 18 million dollars" didn't work for me. but watching vampire movies is helping me set long term ambitious plans.
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Baby in belly feeling less like a vague fluttery fish, more like a solid separate sleeping kitten twitching in his sleep.
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I worked for someone extremely high agency, low competence. In effect my boss had negative profit manic projects with zero follow-through.
It is possible, by the way, to be extremely high agency and to be incompetent.
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I was an avid fast reader and my mom brought me bins of books that the library sold for 10 cents a piece, from all sections of the library. This was to supplement the stacks of books I could check out from the library independently every two weeks. Parents did no bookhunting.
There is still a terrible dearth of long series for young advanced readers. Even if you are infinitely willing to hunt for books for your kid, there is just not enough to keep an advanced reader busy.
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I spent like 30 minutes troubleshooting my laptop not accessing my home wifi after my holiday. Tried every clever networking trick ChatGPT suggested and the problem was that my 90 day uni VPN session was connected but expired.
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It's a relief when a tech problem is stupid and solvable, but this VPN has confused me once before too. This time. I will add a note about this in my calendar in 89 days.
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Finally ordered "everything" we'll need for the baby on Amazon! .I was weirdly surprised to see there's no starter kit that covers the basics for the first few months. You can really tell they leave this to moms with aesthetic sensibilities and specific demands.
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