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@nvpkp
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Pinned Tweet
Consider this your daily reminder to reject nihilism, you never know when you're going to need to believe in beauty.
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no workplace will ever list the position of "doesn't do much but keeps morale high cos they're fun and/or interesting" but it absolutely exists
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"the world is all scripted and regimented. there is no spontaneity left to be had, nor joy, nor surprise"
go work in a restaurant
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"i didn't get the typical college experience"
go work in a restaurant
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"i'm new to a city and can't find any friends"
go work in a restaurant
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i've seen mediocre people accomplish great things by sticking around and putting in the work
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something i've done recently that i wish i had started sooner is asking my (girl)friends specifics about how their relationships actually are, like, what fights are like, how they feel about them, what is their content, how and who resolves them, how long they take
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@tallsnail
if child is his occupation you better put reason for travel as business, young lady
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the jeans that fit in the store will, with wear, increase at least one pant size.
the jeans that are one size down in the store will be too uncomfortable to wear enough to get to the point of being the right fit.
so, too, with love
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airbnb host in 🇺🇸:
the key is in a lockbox, wifi password is on the fridge, please don't contact me, have a nice trip!!
airbnb host in 🇬🇷:
*knocks on bed frame* yes, sturdy bed, look. you will conceive your children in my home.
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after flirtatious texting for a few months, finally went on a date with a guy who was handsome, sweet, interesting. i was open to liking him but by the end of the date i never wanted to spend another minute with him
why?
he was sarcastic and sad and cynical ab life
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at some point in our life, after our journey from which we've returned a champion, after we've collected our brass trophies
after we buy the house in the country and win the jealousy of everyone we know
we will have to face that even here, there will be dishes
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the worst thing about becoming a better person is that people think the pain must not have been that great, if you overcame it. idk.
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@mechanical_monk
so my idea about why this is doing numbers
1) it’s sensorily (?) active. the emoticon is somehow making my face feel tingly
2) it gives people the opportunity to opine in a way that gives several positive signals, for instance how they are *def* familiar w physical intimacy
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they way I read this is that nobody hands you an invitation to your future. if you're not looking, years can slip by, nothing changes, and you wonder where it all went. wasn't i supposed to be somewhere by now?
the future is not guaranteed to happen, only the passing of time
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saying "what do you mean" really is an intelligence cheat code. instantly 3x smarter.
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men, threateningly: speak now or i'm gonna start making decisions! without your input!
me: oh thank god
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singing - or, any musical ability, rly - is such a competitive advantage in romance.
the occasions where i've caught someone's attention by hitting the right note, or having a good voice, is uhh yeah, fascinating. you can see how their regard for you changes instantly
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sure *** is great but have you ever slowly motivated your inner circle to change their lifestyles in order to noncoercively become the healthier, happier versions of themselves, and you did it all without uttering a single word of persuasion
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we need more words for things
the sadness that you can't take someone you love to a past you knew before you met them, that they would have loved, that you could have enjoyed together. the happiness that you were sure you were waiting for someone, and you were right.
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i'd like to crowd source some ideas
what's a meal that you cook on autopilot just to get some food in?
i'm not looking for your most desperate of meals, but something you can feel good about having eaten and that doesn't take much effort
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thinking about how it’s rare to get feedback while dating
so here, a generality
of all my failed flirtationshops, even some relationships, this is consistent: negativity ab life, even if the narrative is that the relationship is a happiness oasis, eventually destroys everything
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sure sex is great, but have you experienced someone putting in the effort to develop a friendship with you
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therapy started working for me when i realized this person was basically a philosopher i was hiring to talk to me regularly
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one of the weirdest things i'm still learning is that you can 100% ask people follow-up questions to whatever they just said.
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i recommend becoming an expert in a domain that seems aesthetically discordant from what you're known for
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@edgevillebank
you have every freedom in the world. it only gets harder as you get more responsibilities and get deeper into your career.
but this isn't advice cos i don't know yr life. trust yourself.
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part of the reason people aren’t able to fulfill their dreams, or even acknowledge them, is that to do so you kind of have to be a massive dork about it
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this is now a topic that has come up enough i want to ask here -
how important is intellectual and conversational compatibility to falling in love? is it your primary draw?
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sickened that i can't bypass practice w thinking. absolutely atrocious.
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it's been 6 months and i'm still stunned by american grocery stores. someone said food is no longer a basic good but a luxury, and we're going to charge for it that way while wiping out local supply chains so there is no affordable alternative
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but conflict in relationship is the material that matters, in the thick of it, isn't it?
if i put myself into society to understand myself, why in this important thing am i trying to invent everything anew, while isolated
it's not a good time
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ᴀɴʏ ꜱᴜꜰꜰɪᴄɪᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴄᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴏʀʏ ᴏꜰ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇᴡᴏʀᴋ ɪꜱ ɪɴᴅɪꜱᴛɪɴɢᴜɪꜱʜᴀʙʟᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʀᴇʟɪɢɪᴏɴ
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somehow this isn't the substance that comes up in generic "so, how are things going" conversation starters and idk maybe i felt too shy to probe there before.
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i know it's cheesy to still be into xkcd or whatever but of all his contributions to my thinking, one of the most useful has been changing "omg what you don't know about X yet" to "wow i get to be the one to share this with you"
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i don’t have a dream to report, but, i did just start one of those sleep tracking apps. among its many features it records sleep talking, which i’ve been told i do.
wake up in the am, ok i spoke a bit, cool, but
.. wh … why is there a (loud and clear) recording of footsteps
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considering that maybe “luck” was an old word for intelligence. to describe the kind of person who knows how to swim with the currents of serendipity
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what’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to or about you?
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noticing someone
wanting to love them
inventing an image
loving the image
spending time with them
learning who they are
loving them
replacing the image with "them"
loving them more
wanting to continue to love them
continuing to see them
continuing to grow the love
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when i see new lines appear on my face, and my skin sag a little more than it used to, most of what i think about is wanting there to be someone who sees this change as much as i do. i think that's what love is to me. see that, honey? i made this wrinkle with you
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—
i see people are taking this opportunity to preach ab the ills of toxic positivity
there is a difference bw a) understanding the impact of your worldview on your life, and b) pollyanna willful ignorance, and you know it
but i forgive you. being reductive is so tempting.
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has a hunch gf independently arrives at the same conclusion from analyzing the data bf
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like virginity but for if you haven’t yet cried, gasping, heaving, sobbing, trusting, in the arms of a lover
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i wonder how much of polyamory is solving the problem of how in an atomized society, monogamy removes the little contact you had w the outside world
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when that guy asked me what happened, i said “you never know how it goes when you finally meet; i just wasn’t feeling it” but the truth is smthg else. there wasn’t any trust or foundation for me to speak truthfully, which is significant considering feedback is a core value for me
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i don't know if betrayal games have always been a thing, if i've become morally stiff with age, or both, but i refuse to participate in something that teaches us to distrust each other, even in so innocent a context as a card game.
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messed up my morning, fell into a dopamine trap, lost the day :’(
we’ll do better tomorrow
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“i’m trying to learn programming, not engineering but crypto, but 20m on the computer gives me a headache. i hate social media and i have no friends nice to meet you”
i cannot count the number of times i’ve had this conversation
this generation is doomed
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🎬
*attempts french with a native speaker*
👨🎨: get our perfect language out of your mouth, even drinking water is wasted on your untrained palate
🎬
*attempts greek with a native speaker*
👵: YOU ARE YOUNG BEAUTIFUL AND CLEVER MY GRANDSON IS ALSO BEAUTIFUL ARE YOU MARRIED
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a nice writing prompt
tell the events of the average day in your current life; tell it with the warmth of a nostalgia you hope you’ll have for it 20 years from now
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what's the deal with needing so much protein? if i'm 170 lbs that means I'll need 136 grams
but like, half a thing of tofu and 2 burger patties is 54 grams. if i do that for lunch (which is omg sooo much food wtf), then i still have 82 grams??? how on earth?
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consider that what you restrain in yourself to protect others from is precisely what would endear you to them
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why listen to good advice when you could spend fifteen years figuring it out the hard way
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you don't have to get into psychedelics to perceive that reality has multiple contradicting layers, and they're each equally real to the people who live in them
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*crying* i don't want to feel like a part of the cosmic oneness, i wanna be a dumb bitch
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they knew what they were doing when they only had one wizard per village
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ive been on the other side of this side so many times. the only way ive been able to learn and grow is to be able to reflect, introspect, discuss with my friends. that’s the best i can recommend in this difficult world. i’m not sure people do it or else i wouldn’t tell this story
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i don't even know what the ?s=20 is doing i just feel like it's rude so i remove it
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what's something surprising you're tracking in your life, and would you recommend that others track theirs as well?
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curious how everyone reads this painting
i’m thinking this is the monk being disturbed by his own fantasy
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my suggestion is to become a dad, if that's what you want. yes, right now. you don't need a partner, you don't even need to have been on a date in the past 3 years. be inside the dad you imagine yourself wanting to be, and retire the bachelor.
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what’s the best counter-argument for “if you can’t take care of yourself how can you begin to take care of the world” ?
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we should get honeymoon period paid leave for every relationship, not just marriage; it is an injury to the human project that any of my energy be spent on smthg other than loving rn
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having a conversation with a friend about the reasons he doesn’t find himself in relationships, like being unable to “reason about” them
and then he said this
do y’all relate? i…do not
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this may be unfair or obvious or both, but i get the feeling it is impossible to walk into marriage prepared
how does anyone do it
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btw if you’re saying “people will treat me better once i heal my trauma” a lot, you may just be dealing with people who don’t care about you
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someone was ruminating recently on how yeah, okay, in 5 or so years he wants a family – a wife, children, etc – but not *next year*, which feels like it will be like this year, and so will the year after that. so how... does that happen? how does he become that person? when?
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the conversational move of "have you considered that you don't understand your motivations well enough yet" is pretty unpleasant on the receiving end, even if it's true
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one social hack is that people don't want to keep their secrets; they want someone to care enough to ask them what they are. most people will tell with little nudging. it makes them feel cared for to be poked out. wild huh?
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once upon a time i said, “someday i’d like a cat”, and then i realized no one invites you to get a cat, so i just… got a cat
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men: i’m in love with someone who is in love with me. i have to build in recovery time after i see her bc she inspires strong feelings in me and i feel empty when she’s gone. time to break up.
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girlfriend service where i am undeniably in the same room as you. i scroll on my phone for 4 hours.
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the more time i spend with people i love, the less bearable loneliness is
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what if ur complicated, high status problems like "meaning crisis" "culture war" "capitalism" are actually simple, low-status problems like "i want lil mozzarella cubes in my soup"
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i’ll be honest, i still struggle with jealousy
i’ve done work to reduce the surface area of what i get jealous about by becoming the person who has those things, or doesn’t want them. but some things remain impervious to breakdown. mostly around love and possession
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there should be something like marriage but for friends so you know that when you're old and gray, they're the ones you'll be sitting with in front of a fire talking ab how things were back when we took ourselves so seriously
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if you “went feral”, do you have a feeling for what that would be like
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how does singing work
like
it feels like in order to do it well you have to put emotion into it
and that's a lot of emotion. does it get spent and leave a person empty? how does it get refilled
or does capacity for emotion increase
what's going on
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gaining more and more material evidence that my colleagues dislike me. it’s aligning with some other things that’s making me feel some kind of v bad way.
at what point do you accept the signals that you need to dramatically change or else live out yr life as a reject
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alas, even in our superior state, the dishes will still need washing, the clothes kept off the floor, and the broom to make an appearance once in a while
but no one taught us these skills, so how do we do it?
well, it seems we want a pie. so let's create a universe.
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alright, we've found our next life problem to solve
due to anxiety, at my job i spend twice the effort to get half the work done
i've maxed out everything i can do on the fronts of organizational, alignment, psychological, behavioral. now i want chemical solutions.
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