the lemoine/LaMDA episode is terrifying and dystopian but not in the way the guy thinks it is
it's proving that AI doesn't need to be anywhere near sentient or anything like a superintelligence to convince people to do really stupid things
you can literally build whatever imaginary, fantastical and fictional universes you like in your head and share them with your friends
you don't need to be An Author or A Storyteller or An Artist or anything
I find it fascinating when I watch viral partner dance videos on tiktok the comments are always like "how do you not fall in love?" and having danced for nearly 10 years the answer is "you kinda just do but it's not as big a deal as you think it is"
you can literally build whatever imaginary, fantastical and fictional universes you like in your head and share them with your friends
you don't need to be An Author or A Storyteller or An Artist or anything
in chinese high schools, there is an explicit 4 tier status system
1. get good grades without trying hard
2. get good grades by trying hard
3. get bad grades by not trying hard
4. get bad grades despite trying hard
this pattern seems pretty universal in lots of other contexts
this is dumb but like a decade into cooking for myself I have realised I, a chinese speaker, can simply look up chinese recipes in chinese on a chinese recipe site rather than settling for the scraps of whatever weird foreign version exists on the english internet
one thing that modern society is really lacking is the ritualised introduction of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes to each other in a way that is supported by society and *dignified*. nowadays to meet singles people usually have to demean themselves a lil bit (e.g. on apps)
I find it fascinating when I watch viral partner dance videos on tiktok the comments are always like "how do you not fall in love?" and having danced for nearly 10 years the answer is "you kinda just do but it's not as big a deal as you think it is"
AI safety and ethics is already important right now for reasons that are nothing to do with superintelligence, foom, intelligence explosion and all that
@nickcammarata
I very much endorse research into alignment that is applicable to narrow AIs and advances the field as a whole and I think anyone spending significant effort specifically on AGI doomsday scenarios right now with the field where it is is very misguided
weddings are a great social good because it forces your single guy friends to be seen and photographed in public wearing a suit so some nice girl can go "huh he brushes up nice"
the only known way to heal a trauma response is to activate it at the same time as another schema that contradicts the trauma schema's assumptions *in its own frame*
in juxtaposing the 2 you unlock the first schema for a ~5 hour window where it can be updated permanently
people talk about marie kondo's animism as if it's some weird woo thing but like, of course all your stuff is alive? you can never directly interface with your stuff you only ever interface with your own representation of the stuff, which is made of you? which is alive?
every sufficiently warm and pleasant country in the world has 'a culture centered around food'
everyone else has to make do with a culture centered around booze, sport, or in the worst case just plain depression
thinking about that time in primary school when the book said living things were made of cells and non-living things were made out of atoms and I asked my teacher whether cells were made of atoms and he didn't know
it may be something to do with the absence of coming-of-age ceremony in the modern day, but I think many people have trouble moving on from the reasonably lax, forgiving standards we impose on children to the "real" standards that work, art, behaviour etc are judged on for adults
hey gang, I was really hoping to have good news to share with you all this week, but I'm afraid it's sad news instead
we found out this week at our 13 week dating ultrasound that I had a silent miscarriage of twins
everyone can think of somebody who's extra cautious and vocal about a particular thing because they know someone who died to it. the thing with doctors is that for basically every single risk they Know Someone. they have a totally different relationship to risk to the rest of us
in colloquial chinese, "I like you" is a much more powerful statement than "I love you" for young people in a relationship, and I think there's something to that
the framing of "how do you not fall in love" is very telling about the assumptions of the questioner (who I usually guess to be young in this circumstance) - that love is something foreign, scarce, dangerous and it has to lead to more, or soemthing like that
dancing with someone is euphoric, you can form an electric connection, and sometimes that includes a crush and sometimes that includes attachment or other bonding and it's just all part of the tapestry of human connections - everyone on the dance floor is doing it
to be clear: I mean no intentionality behind "convinced" in the OP - the AI didn't convince him of anything, the dude became convinced as a result of talking to it
one of the things I admire about the depiction of feminine success in the marvellous mrs maisel is that she's shown as an objectively terrible mother. it's not that bad parenting is admirable but it's a realistic depiction of an ambitious, successful artist's priorities
this is something non-dancers might not realise but dancing for joy and dancing for show are completely different activities - capturing the feeling on the inside vs showing the feeling on the outside in a way that induces the feeling on the audience's insides
when you've danced with this many people you can be a connoisseur of the different poignant and exhilarating ways you can feel about your connection to a stranger or a friend, moment to moment, song to song
how do you cope when you've fixed your blockages towards other people and now your heart is overflowing with fondness for the people you connect with in a way that you have no idea how to metabolise so now you're living under the crushing weight of being so in love all the time
I can't have alcohol (makes me ill) and being in the company of drunk people while sober is one of the ultimate easy open-heartedness practices. lots of people drink to open up their inhibitions and have a good time socially but you can very much do it sober with practise
small talk isn't about the contents of the chat it's about creating a social vehicle to exchange non-verbal signals of enjoyment of each others presence with someone you wouldn't be interacting with otherwise
something that's a big cultural trait of america that I think maybe americans don't realise is a cultural trait is how good they are at getting swole. like when their sportspeople train they get so *strong* and so *powerful*, and so many people can just casually get jacked
sometimes I forget that not everyone is blessed with a social circle where it's common knowledge for everyone past the age of 20 that settlers of catan is Not A Good Board Game
been getting really into michelle khare lately, surprised that nobody I follow has tweeted about her work
her thing is she tries stuff, but *really seriously*. her "tried boxing" means she trained with an olympian for 4 months and then went into a fight where she broke her nose
this results in the dilemma of the underachiever: from tier 3, if you made any effort to improve your circumstances (be it grades, job performance, etc...) you *risk dropping into tier 4* if it doesn't pay off
making an effort is a status risk, that's one reason why it's so hard
think about the courtship dances in many cultures (including historically in europe), you show up to a dance and can scan the dancefloor or mingle and find someone you like the look of to connect with, it's just *a thing* and people show up *for the thing* so it's not awkward
There's a vibe difference between people who are in "explorer mode", who are tweeting/writing about their current leading edge which constantly moves, vs people who are in "guru mode" who are covering the same ground again and again for new learners just reaching that edge
ppl are talking about love languages on my timeline and I'm reminded that not everyone on my twitter knows what everyone on my tiktok seems to know
anyway love languages were a psyop
addendum to this, ppl talk about "don't try to change your partner" but the counterfactual isn't "settle for how they are now", my husband at 18 was not as rich, hot, funny or kind as he is now but i could see even without my input he was on a trajectory to *become* that guy
related thought - a younger colleague joked to me recently that the chess club at work seemed like one big polycule and I was like "ehh, it is pretty intimate, so I guess in some sense..."
I'm pretty high-functioning as far as ADHD goes, I've got a pretty well cobbled together set of executive function hacks to get most stuff done, but I just tried this and it made my eyes well up from visceral relief
Very handy site, especially for folks with ADHD etc!
Put in a task, click the magic wand, and it'll break the task down into a pretty decent list of subtasks.
Lots of good customization options, can edit / add / delete / rearrange at will
the thing with early childhood trauma is that nearly every part of your personality is constructed on top of it
healing it then necessitates a radical stance of self acceptance
any part of your personality can change in the process, so your self-worth needs to be unconditional
in my experience the most important thing in a relationship is growth mindset about the relationship itself - when you both truly believe that how the relationship is today is not how it will always be. both of you will grow and the way you relate to each other will grow too
idioms like "better to have tried and failed" are cultural memes designed to counter this instinctual understanding
because trying and failing sure *feels* worse than not trying at all
to be clear - many dancers do fall in love in a way that ends up with marriage, family, etc
& some stay platonic while enjoying the tension, some try dating and decide not to pursue it while their feelings for each other never change. there's no script and infinite possibilities
this thing scott alexander wrote about how (paraphrasing) being in a loving relationship with someone for a long time could be like the *opposite* of a triggering experience, and maybe you can flashback to happy things instead, is blowing my mind today
thinking about the characteristic blandness of british food and how some people view "blandness" as an absence of flavour when it's actually a unique flavour profile all of its own and thinking of blandness as "no flavour" is its own kind of failure of cultural appreciation
the experiment that sticks with me from the luck factor is one where they asked people to go count some stuff in a newspaper, and also in there was a giant advert "tell the experimenter you saw this and get $250" and the unlucky people just missed it
@mechanicalmonk1
These are from an article about the book, summarising the points and showing how big. Of a difference "luck" mindset makes
I will absolutely always aggressively shill this idea because I think it's been one of the most influential ideas in my life
I think a lot of unlikeable people we encounter would suddenly become more likeable if we could read their minds the way we can the narrator in fiction
This is one of the best stories I've edited at Sixth Tone, put together by the inimitable
@peiyue_jess
: much of Chinese Wiki's coverage of Russian history turned out to be fake last week, made up over ten years by an aspiring historian (1/several)
as for me, sometimes my dreams are filled with the euphoria of connecting with someone on the dance floor amplified 100 fold, but those dreams are almost always just about dancing - it doesn't lead to more because when you can fully feel into it like that dancing itself is enough
hey gang, I was really hoping to have good news to share with you all this week, but I'm afraid it's sad news instead
we found out this week at our 13 week dating ultrasound that I had a silent miscarriage of twins
of all the things husband did to win my heart forever when we were dating probably the most reliably replicable one that I can now give men as a tip is that he invited me over regularly and made me honey mustard chicken thighs
and idk, if you have to demean yourself just to show up it's not conducive to being your most charismatic self and being able to strike good mutually-interesting connections
the sad thing about having done cambridge maths is that you realise even cambridge mathmo cliques, the most high-autist of high-autist social groups, make fun of and reject people for being /too/ weird
to be included you still need to be the 'normal', 'fun', amount of autistic
love to see Luck Factor love on the timeline. ali focuses on the traits of lucky people but the inverse of all these things being the traits of unlucky people is way more fascinating to me. unlucky people will fail to notice opportunities even if they're right in front of them
(almost every self improvement technique) will make you dumber if you try to LARP it. the real question is how to enter a way of being where you do all of this stuff naturally
this book will make you dumber if you try to LARP it (and people even have a name for this, "deida-bot"). the real question is how to enter a way of being where you do all of this stuff naturally
I was revisiting SSC's review Of the Body Keeps the Score when I came upon this passage.
I'm sure it must have meant nothing to me at the time, but now I'm finally realising that "indescribable mental motions" were all I've needed to start thriving this whole time
@selentelechia
no but I imagine the opposite is true, opening files frequently probably protects them from random degradation by subjecting them to software error checking more often
this is a real dumb thing to need to "have a realisation" about but I just had the realisation that being good at stuff doesn't get you friends, *actually making friends* is what gets you friends. being good at stuff is a useful catalyst but you can't skip actual friend-making
the crisis of meaning was precipitated when sacredness was lost to us consequence of people being a bunch of little bitches who cant or wont commit to the bit during important rituals
I'm obsessed with food history, and one thing that I don't think most people realise is just how terrible food quality was in the Victorian period.
Here's a brief thread.
@dreamskij
nahh algorithms already convince people to do things all the time
is the advertising algorithm that showed me that tiktok that persuaded me to get that new mascara today sentient?
I became 100% happier at work once I convinced myself last year that I would be absolutely fine and happy if I quit
Lots of things in life are like that
grateful today for whichever ND tiktok it was which introduced me to the idea of "code pumpkin" where you've ran out of social/sensory/masking magic and your carriage is about to turn into a pumpkin so you arrange to exit an event fashionably early 🎃
consider courtship dances that exist in many cultures in Africa, single youths of one gender put on a performance every year so that they get a chance to be seen by single youths of the other gender who can decide who they want to talk to (which gender does the dancing varies)
I think growing up in a time and place where mcdonalds was Fancy and moving very suddenly to a place where it was Trashy permanently inoculated me against perceiving the class connotations of consumption as "real" in any way
like neither perspective is *wrong* they're both reasonable responses to their personal observations it's just doctors have seen an amount of death (and infant doctors an amount of child death) that is utterly gut-wrenchingly incomprehensible to the civilian population
started to reach the reverse-equilibrium where my joy for life is infecting my parents, rather than my parents fears and anxieties passing down to me
feels like I'm gradually approaching the win condition on generational trauma
husband telling me stories about how he autist-chad-ed his way through life
in his ~high school interview, head of english asked what his favourite subject was. he said maths. the guy made a mildly disparaging remark & 13yo husband reprimanded: "that's a very schoolboy attitude"
0 and 11 are the *easiest* places to put your dials because you can just slam them in that direction
putting the dial somewhere in the middle requires actual control and flexibility and, yes, vulnerability