Mace Ventura
@DebtPetective
Followers
887
Following
780
Media
681
Statuses
10,516
You just got slugged, bozo.
any pronouns, go nuts
Joined December 2011
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@03grengo
@Cmonmack1
Really? What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he's hungry?
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1K
@piranhapinatas
@LibsBMad
@AUO_daisuki
@shea_tee
@sammajammaz
@OlibuFJF
Pretty dumb to leave valuables lying around like this 🤑🤑
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945
@BrandonDuenow
@hollabekgrl
I’ve applied to dozens of jobs during the pandemic, this is incredibly common. CVS, Walgreens, Wegman’s. If you want a job at a company that isn’t hemorrhaging money right now, this is your option.
Workers rights are laughed at
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545
@WhateverKalea
@hotgirlellie
How many of your 52 followers have bought tickets to see bangers like this onstage?
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455
@BesDMarx
I love them acting as if the Palestinians left 700 years ago. It’s really just the consistent ‘this place was empty’ narrative
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@Lady_Lillith_R
@MATTtheG
@ThoughtsAudibly
I’m pretty sure burning down a police precinct and overtaking other federal buildings is pretty much rebellion. Modern revolution.
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@PeteGGriffin
@feraljokes
Not seriously enough to cancel until it affected him personally tho
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171
@ChoosesPoorly
@cheeseraven11
@jhoiras
Damn I didn’t realize half this image was blocked out! Good catch!
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@PeteGGriffin
@Maii_Degeese
@feraljokes
Okay well I’m not super stoked on the opinion of someone who went to 20 live comedy shows last year thanks
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@theashleyray
True Crime podcasts have turned actual emotional losses into fun personal puzzles.
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And you can have it all.
My empire of Bert.
I will let you down.
I will make you Bert.
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@WhateverKalea
@hotgirlellie
That sounds embarrassing, good for you though. Glad you still have time to be weird on twitter posts.
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LMAO (letting my ants out)
TGIF (they’re getting in fights)
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@thosegrose
This is why I spent all day reading Wikipedia articles on every piece of media possible and read movie quotes for films I’ve never seen 😎
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@MailOnline
Starting to think the CDC might not have our best interests at heart. I gotta go think
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@_FeyButter
@sportsontheTre
@27pancakes
@Phil_Lewis_
I’m not looking for trouble, I’m just a man with ears and a heart.
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@iScorpio808
@billyeichner
I wish there was a place that could give them that knowledge. Damn, too bad schools don’t exist
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@dan_rar
@dt_della_mancha
@eeberquist
Wait are you suggesting we let people die for 40 years until we fix this through the standard channels?
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@FormidableTrap
@PowerfulBenj
@LackingSaint
I hope the minor you’re trying to impress sees this, mate
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@Kampico
@___sappho_
@Archanaa97
I don’t get how Breakfast at Tiffany is even racist? Explain to me why it’s anti-Asian
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@MattBasky
@alexsoupertramp
@aphexindividual
This isn’t real life for you. It’s a story, it’s a game, and it’s really disrespectful. You don’t care about facts, or investigation, or anyone’s emotions but your own desire to be ‘one of the smart ones’ who knows better.
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@Lavendesic
@remy_marc
@FreelanceLies
@sarahljaffe
Because it wasn’t a strike. It was a protest. That’s like calling the people who threw soup on the painting strikers.
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@chaotic_sub
Parents refuse to put up pics of their kids looking like mature sexy bombshells, teen years only. If a family sees a beard they’ll burn it all down.
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@DanielYoung702
@thismyshow
@FilmUpdates
Waterworld failing is a really bad sign for the motion picture industry.
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@violet2424
@FPersonally
@IDF
If the enemy uses a human shield, just shoot through the shield! We’re the good guys
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@besf0rt
A permanent base of US troops if they want it and two permanent bases of US troops if they don’t!
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big cheese won’t like what I’m up to. If I die it was NOT a suicide.
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@ERosson1982
@hotgirlellie
I think fucking someone who doesn’t know YOU very well might be your only chance.
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@joshgondelman
What would it be like if Oppenheimer had to grapple with his creation? I think it would go, a little something, like this -
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@Jarrettkade
@campbel17357328
@masterpass65
@banditelli
@genericdemocrat
@MayorOfLA
Jarrett you sound like a dick
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43
@Lady_Lillith_R
@MATTtheG
@ThoughtsAudibly
Property matters more to most people than human life. Until you also stand up and do something, you’re complicit.
Plenty of examples of looting being used to block tear gas or provide aid, but that doesn’t matter. If you want the looting to stop, fix the problem not the symptoms.
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@PowerDyke
@AllieTheEditor
@UnfollowKat
@sarah_michelson
@mulaney
Everyone seems to secretly think this would ACTUALLY be REALLY FUNNY and not awful in countless ways.
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@theashleyray
But when is the other group going to dance back at them in a more sexually suggestive way to let the audience know ‘oh these are the bad guys’
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@LovesBulldawgs
@omglolwut
@Esqueer_
Nothing is new, there is no obsession. It’s just recently news stories have been making it into a big weird thing for no reason. It’s as if the news suddenly freaked out about Jerry Springer airing during the day.
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@JessBiss909
@Brittan66989806
@gbrew24
@caseyjohnston
@manymanywords
I hate when jokes aren’t reality, it makes me mad!
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@MatthewWarren16
@Kevie911
@BlairBarley
@nytimes
They want the same ‘hero’ status but are willing to take zero heroic risks.
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What sucks is I got hot after high school but I’m going to be gross again before the reunion.
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@aphexindividual
@mountboom
You’re right, all of her friends are involved in a coverup and it’s not rude at all for you, a stranger, to say so.
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Happy Birthday
@alexsoupertramp
, the love of my life, the hottest person to ever breathe my air, my live-in aide for when I break three glass cups a week. Go give her attention and gifts because I literally could never do enough, I’m just one man
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@CPTDoomDC
@CrappyFumes
I’m so glad new hospitalizations are only 60% higher than they were last year, we must be doing great. The past year of ‘this is fine’ justification is doing great, no notes
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@superloafcat
@ArtieBucco69
I’m calling for a complete and total shutdown of badgers in this country until we find out what the hell is going on.
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@MassAveMami
@WCVB
They did decide for themselves, that’s why we need a mask mandate. Everyone decided ‘fuck the public!’
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@tylerpersaud
@Acta_Azrael
@GRIFTSH0P
Seems like they guy you’re agreeing with is a bit of an asshole, eh?
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@GritHawks
@Toure
@minakimes
“Cook County now says prosecutor made an error when they said Adam was holding a gun.”
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@Drizzle33406872
@brosif0825
@ShadIXDon
@a1_m00
@ajplus
“Cook County now says prosecutor made an error when they said Adam was holding a gun” dumbass can’t read
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