Brave Little Poaster
@BravePoaster
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902
Following
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Media
504
Statuses
13,123
Noted Sarbanes-Oxley respecter, less toxic in real life ░PROXY░STATEMENT░IN░BIO░
Denver, CO
Joined June 2009
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@coldhealing
I love her, reminds me of an ex who kept a dead cat in a bag in her closet but my god the sex was good
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@Howlingmutant0
I mean jerking off feels more like jerking a dick off than getting your dick jerked off by someone else so the logic tracks here
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@KILLTOPARTY
My current gf lost her husband two months into marriage. Did coke with his buddy not knowing it was laced with fentanyl.
I’m the second guy she’s been with, her husband being the first. I feel this.
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@mylocalgunshop
@segmentum1
A sentimental piece of war history. If you had a barn, wouldn’t you keep a tank in there too?
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@KILLTOPARTY
@MUlysess
Ohh like I spent a semester in Florence and I had the moooost amazingggg pasta and all I was like a giant fucking whore there, dudes would just show me around on their vespas and then fuck me in the hostelll take me back
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@lillybilly299
Holy shit this made me sad. She seems like a nice woman. But I get it, I’ve been single for a while. It sucks going to bed alone, when after a long day you really just want to cuddle up with someone.
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@PaulSkallas
I feel like idiot for physically moving my mouse every 15 minutes in between day drinking, cranking the hog, or whatever dumb shit I get up to
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@thedooberhead
@Morbidful
My thought too. I tripped on uneven pavement earlier this year and got a concussion. First two days or so I was fine and shrugged it off, but on the third day I went into a state of psychosis. Absolutely crazy. It was some scary scary shit.
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@KILLTOPARTY
Brutality. I don’t think I could recover. But I’ve only received compliments (worst I got was Yeah it’s not the biggest I’ve seen but very up there), one grabbed my tape measure to measure it lol and used to just randomly pull it out while we were watching movies.
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@NeoBactrian
Check out the chick who helped steal all our bitcoins (also the broken glasses lolz)
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@madmaxbr5
@baddestmamajama
That’s what the security deposit is for though. I doubt many landlords would deduct pet damage from the non-reimbursable deposit, but instead take it from the reimbursable one.
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@itsmarkmoran
I work in banking. I wanted a two tone Rolex too, so I bought one. The novelty wore off quick. When I was at Ares these young guys would notice it and be like “Hey nice watch man.” And I was like Brother you buy one of these and only dudes notice, it won’t get you chicks.
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@9mm_smg
I’ve had to show my receipt multiple times at Best Buy and I’m a clean cut white guy. Just do it and move on with your day. Why these people want to make an issue out of dumb trivial day to day shit is something I can’t comprehend, other than the fact that they are ignorant and
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@KILLTOPARTY
I’m a chronically liquored up bitter asshole but I’ll take that over this shit, this is heartbreaking
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@Lnanna7
@gaborgurbacs
@JackPosobiec
Are the sauces in Europe loaded with high fructose corn syrup? Here it all is. I make my own barbecue sauce, salad dressing etc without it as a result but it’s extra effort.
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@MarmotRespecter
Lol, this is some weird oppression fantasy. Everyone, men and women, take notes at every meeting I’ve been in. It’s considered standard business competence to write shit down.
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@9mm_smg
Women aren’t psychopaths, men are. Psychopathy in women is actually diagnosed as borderline personality disorder.
She’s just into weird shit. And I don’t like how her mouth moves when she talks, it’s like she has mild brain damage.
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@ElieNYC
My grandmother in 2002: What’s a CD, is it one of those round things?
Anyone under the age of 20 in 2022: What’s a CD, is it one of those round things?
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@KILLTOPARTY
“Talk dirty to me…”
“Yeah you like that you fucking retard?”
This is a Reddit joke from like 10 years ago
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@upstatefederlst
Crazy to look at this and be like “yeah that’s super fucked up, that happened here?” And then remember it’s 2024 and that shit will happen again, and worse
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@ShaykhSulaiman
Well, they’re used against bunkers. And if bunkers are in urban areas, do the math.
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@Babygravy9
You know in the longer version a second grenade shredded his face, looked like his eye sockets were filled with shrapnel. The third landed on his crotch and blew his legs off. It’s ugly to watch but this guy didn’t make it.
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@9mm_smg
I’ve lived here since 1990, and Denver since 2009. Denver peaked around 2014 and has steadily declined since. Really nosedived during COVID and now it’s a fucking shithole. Colfax has always had a reputation as being bad, but now it’s terrible. I don’t stay out after dark,
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@4nt1p4tt3rn
I got an F on a metaphysics philosophy paper. I re-wrote it for a C. I’m 37 now and a successful banker. I make more than that professor ever did. I don’t lose any fucking sleep over it.
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@realBob_Johnson
@HardPass4
Hahaha I had a Pradeep threaten to blow my ssn up once. I don’t know how you do that. C4? Thermite?
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@globbidyglop
@tmbg
No, Covid doesn’t spread on stage, just like it doesn’t spread if you sit down at a restaurant. Trust the science.
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@SenatorSinema
(Person who shot down $15 minimum wage with a weird moody teenager choreograph)
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@orbitroute
@Leftylockdowns1
Because it shifts responsibility away from the immunocompromised and places it on society generally.
It’s unreasonable to expect the rest of us to put our lives on hold indefinitely. If catching Covid is going to kill you, it’s your job to stay away from it.
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@KILLTOPARTY
Her seething resentment over the fact that she’s missing a pointless, meandering Shrew Life is hilarious
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@NecktieSalvage
I think online dating is to blame. It’s tough out there. I’m 37 and a stream of flings and situationships has been unfulfilling, and downright lonely. I found companionship in adopting a dog.
Fortunately I met a woman and marriage is actually in the table. But few are lucky.
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@BiskyScrandle
@cubsjaw
@Gurippusan
I’m a dipshit paralegal and I make over $130k, no law school debt
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@SpiritofPines
Told my boomer Dad, a retired network engineer that I get 75+ emails a day, usually 40 by the time I wake up and log on (banking) and he was like “That’s unreasonable”
Lmao that’s table stakes. 55 hours a week gets me a nice Denver one bedroom, a dog, reliable car, and a Rolex.
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@Gangstamonkey21
@MogTheUrbanite
Shit dude, this reminds me of the skies over San Francisco during the massive wildfires. Skies turned red. Are there fires in China? Wtf is going on?
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@KILLTOPARTY
I noticed this too with a hookup. She would always go to the gym prior to coming over to my place.
It was as if she wanted to smell bad on purpose. I eventually cut it off.
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@eigenrobot
I’m trying to catch up too. I think this is what’s going on. I’m a Dem but missed debate last night because I knew it would be disaster so I got drunk instead.
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@tommylangfordd
@9mm_smg
This is likely the issue. I have had two. Once after taking LSD and once after suffering a concussion and drinking a lot of alcohol.
I am a normal human with a high paying job otherwise. Sometimes our brains fail us. Fortunately I had no legal or hospital bills. Did scratch
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@KILLTOPARTY
Exactly what happened. Opposite can happen too.
I slept with a married woman. I don’t feel great about it. She was in a failing marriage and wanted to cheat to get back at him for hitting her. When things didn’t pan out with us, she rekindled her marriage.
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@KILLTOPARTY
Still could but it’s unlikely. When I was 17 I started dating a girl who was 16, and she’d let me dry hump her until she had an orgasm but that was it. Once I fingered her a few years later things picked up. Finally slipped it in during college and then we broke up month later
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@KILLTOPARTY
No. Shoulda wrapped it, although IME some women really like to pull them off or hop on raw for a second go.
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@Noted_Desperado
@Txp_RBI_Xctuxl
No these people discovered it, just as they built Egypt and Wakanda and all the rest of civilization
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@KoniKltd
I’m amazed at how many people on Twitter seem to think some random Saudi prince who owns less than 5% of the stock is somehow going to yank any deal he doesn’t like.
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@DegenCPA22
This is true. I’m a moderately successful banker, and cannot imagine dating a hooters waitress when on Hinge I’m matching with smart, successful, attractive lawyers who just want a guy with his shit together.
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@KILLTOPARTY
When she tell you her pussy will change your life but all it does is stank up your bedroom
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@DonShift3
I live in central Denver. Never been a safe city but the homeless have taken over with their tents and garbage collections (they love to collect trash). They scream at each other all hours of the night and bust out car windows.
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@KILLTOPARTY
Just say “Hey babe, let’s start going to the gym together. Or work out from home 3-5x a week.” Problem solved, no one feels blamed.
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@acethefuccup
How many are alive is the question. I dated a woman with 4 cats, 3 live and 1 dead in a bag in her closet. So quirky right??
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@snowmanllc
Well yeah it’s RBC, they don’t show up until 11:30 and then do nothing but make TikToks
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@FrenchOG3
Dated a Polish woman who used to be a flight attendant out of UAE. Hotel parties every night. Now at 38 she wants to settle, and be financially supported as she was a grad student. I got the ick.
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