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MARK MORAN™️ Profile
MARK MORAN™️

@itsmarkmoran

Followers
38K
Following
60K
Media
5K
Statuses
30K

Cavalier Philosopher // Lucent in Tenebris

Washington, D.C. // Virginia
Joined September 2018
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 years
Gods work
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 months
The Harris campaign is going to be a case study on how hiring theater kids as your social media managers can lose you a campaign.
@ryjlocal
Ry
3 months
Top comment on the two-hour Theo Von interview of JD Vance.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 months
This is so awesome. This is what life is about.
@JomboyMedia
Jomboy Media
2 months
A college student has been going viral for wearing random sports jerseys to class all semester. So today he walked in to see a year’s worth of new jerseys sitting on his chair. (via @BigRedDave_)
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
9 months
Traditional family values 🙌🏻
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
This will be in all BYU dorms starting 2028.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
6 months
I do not want a wife who demure, I want one who is latina and insane.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
Bro is def on the Epstein list to be tweeting like this.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
Would.
@notcapnamerica
chris evans
5 months
Kamala Harris’ sister Maya is 57 years old.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
Dating a latina.
@jordanbpeterson
Dr Jordan B Peterson
4 months
The purpose of life is finding the largest burden you can bear and bearing it.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 month
Showing the nephew the NORAD Santa tracker for the first time
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
I want a columbian nanny. for myself. .
@GentlmanBrown
Caballero
5 months
This Colombian nanny is a perfect example of this practice in New York:
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Wearing this to the strip club
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
The plan? . (1) lose my passport in tulum after ayahuasca .(2) cross the border illegally.(3) head to NYC to get my $10k debit card from Eric Adams and shoplift less than $1k of merch from Duane reade.(4) go to California for my home loan.
@unusual_whales
unusual_whales
5 months
BREAKING: A California proposal could make undocumented immigrants eligible for up to $150,000 in state-supported home loans. The measure is likely to pass the California Legislature this week, per Politico.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
The Zyphere
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
6 months
"Yeah she's just my type" - me talking about a girl who definitely would have been executed in the Salem witch trials.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 months
My mom said she can take us to the civil war tomorrow if ur mom can pick us up.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
My dad has 4 contacts in his phone. Debbie is my mom and Peking Gourmet is our fav Chinese restaurant
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
8 months
I pledge allegiance to the United States of ADHD
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
Pic goes too hard.
@TheBushArchive
The Bush Archive
4 months
George W. Bush with Barney. 2005
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
This is so fucking funny. Would crush vodka sodas with this guy 1000%.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
10 months
@NERDYXNiNJA no fucking way - gonna start adding this into the meal roation and live like a king.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
@HighyieldHarry The thing that returns the balls at bowling alley.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
Love visiting the alma mater !!!
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 month
The least diverse place in any airport is always the boarding gate for a flight to Denver.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Just skimmed the new Forbes 30U30 and based off looks along this is my bet for the fraud pipeline
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
When I’m cheating on my wife with the nanny:.
@bavedikian
Brandon Avedikian
5 months
We brought a nanny on vacation with us this weekend. Total game changer. There will be a nanny with us on every vacation we go on until our kids are much older. Makes no sense to spend a bunch of money on vacation only to be stressed and exhausted the whole time. I’d much.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
OnlyFans.Chick-fil-a.Sinaloa Cartel.
@patrick_oshag
Patrick OShaughnessy
1 year
If a genie granted you access, what 3 private companies would you want to own equity in (at a reasonable valuation for the business)?.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 years
To be clear - never voted for trump, didn’t like the guy. But to be the leader of the free world, you do it by intimidation - you don’t let anyone fuck w/ the crown
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
You ask for tougher battles and then God sends you a 5’10” Latina with a law degree who played D1 tennis and has a dog named after one of your favorite presidents.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
6 months
Big difference between ozempic thin and coke thin these days. Me and my boys will continue to monitor the situation as it evolves.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
7 months
Would, nope, def nope, no fucking way, depends, would.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 months
Oof
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
- Weinstein.- Epstein .- Diddy. I’d like to make a prediction: Michael Rubin and his yearly “white party” is the next pervert shit that falls.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
Catch a football ❌.Run normally ❌.Shoot a basketball ❌.Get paid by the DNC but not disclose it ✅. Sorry Tony P but the truth gotta come out
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
Gorilla grip.
@gaialect
gaia
5 months
Being in your 20’s is crazy because why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
JD Vance’s sister is a WOULD.
@amandacvance
Amanda Vance
5 months
Who the fuck is ready for some football?
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Good morning patriots
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
You mean the mayor who was at every club / restaurant opening and whose biggest accomplishment was implementing trash cans and giving illegal immigrants $10k debit cards got indicted and is turning himself in next week?. Wow that’s crazy. Who could have guessed.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 months
Just had a Vietnamese coffee and holy shit I see why they won the war now.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Imaging walking into ur “job” at a place called “Balyasny” to sit in front of a screen for 12+ hours a day to do ur “analysis” for ur bald boss and return 2.7%
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
6 months
Am i getting this right that the guy is complaining that someone (who did the work he asked for) is asking for payment, so he takes to twitter (on a friday night) to complain about the guy asking for payment (on a friday night)? . uhhhhh.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
When you can’t understand what the Latina stripper is saying
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
17 days
Would prefer to hand deliver my browsing history and texts printed out each day to the Chinese embassy than have the devil incarnate own Tik tok.
@Dexerto
Dexerto
17 days
MrBeast says he drafted an offer to buy TikTok after meeting with several billionaires
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 years
Bruh there’s a town in China designed and named after Jackson Hole…
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 month
I am pro H1-B visas for thiccc Latinas.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
8 months
Yeah it’s a must have for white boy summer
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
10 months
You gotta live life instead of saying this shit bro.
@coolandfunray
Ray 🫡
10 months
It probably stank but I bet it grips like a retarded kid when you try to take away his Lego set
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
6 months
I think a study showing the correlation between not playing a varsity sport in high school and owning a cyber truck would be interesting.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 month
Pulled a 180 this year…. A year ago was preparing for a house party at my place in NYC and dating a stripper…. Today, I’m in my Latina lawyer girlfriend’s childhood home in rural CA and her mom is cooking me a breakfast burrito…. In the past year, I developed more of a.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
23 days
They should just give trump community service…like 20 hours coaching youth sports in the Bronx and film it for reality tv.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
Is @NoCapCapitalLLC cappin?
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
Be passionate about something.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
Want chick fil a breakfast now.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
A third party candidate who raises their hand and vows to protect our right to Zyn would literally win the election right now against the two retirement home guys.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
@DeSalvoGrift @mugshawtys She can step on my throat.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
This is by far the best email sign off I’ve ever seen
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Yes, I am totally normal and can be left unsupervised
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 years
Where are all the model UN kids now with their solutions? . Probably working at a consulting firm making a PPT no one will look at.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
18 days
As part of Project 2025, we will be transitioning from Gucci Jordaans to American made Alden loafers with tassels
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
We need to follow Mexicos lead in our approach to tv meteorologists @weatherchannel .
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
Me within 5 min of meeting anyone.
@DefiantLs
Defiant L’s
4 months
This hits home.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
7 months
The girls with the double and triple stacked Cartier bracelets are out at the four seasons bar in DC. Go get those NATO guys ladies!.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
Can whoever is in charge of the next fashion week cancel the big jeans on women trend and make them tight again ???.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 years
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
The future margaritaville execs want
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Ready to send 3 emails now
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala.Lady Gaga’s dad endorsed Trump. OMG I am so confused what to do here and can’t think for myself . Going to have to wait for the Rizzler to chime in before I determine my decision inshallah.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 years
If you have a girlfriend in the metaverse do you have to tell your wife? I’m not married, just a question.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
Ran out of dryer sheets a few months ago and just stopped using them - haven't noticed a difference. are they just a conspiracy by BIG dryer??.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 month
Disagree with this:. “A culture that celebrates the prom queen over the math olympiad champ, or the jock over the valedictorian, will not produce the best engineers.”. The ethos of America is creating the jock that was also the valedictorian and the prom queen who volunteers with.
@VivekGRamaswamy
Vivek Ramaswamy
1 month
The reason top tech companies often hire foreign-born & first-generation engineers over “native” Americans isn’t because of an innate American IQ deficit (a lazy & wrong explanation). A key part of it comes down to the c-word: culture. Tough questions demand tough answers & if.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 months
Story time: I booked two nights at the @RitzCarlton in DC for my gf’s birthday…. At about 2am, we hear a domestic situation in the room next door - fortunately for the woman next door, the walls are paper thin…. I open our door and I see the male, who we had heard literally.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
4 months
This is so pathetic. The poor wife. Ur sending emails and missing your own life, grow up.
@VCBrags
VCs Congratulating Themselves 👏👏👏
4 months
???
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
10 months
Just say 11/10 and do this
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@MrSeaBeans
Mr Sea Beans
10 months
Wtf kind of response is this
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
Thank you @POTUS 🫡
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
The founding fathers could not have dreamed up George Santos using campaign money for OnlyFans
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
9 months
Serious q: Biden is actively trying to lose the election right?. 44.6% cap gains…we’re a few months from Nov…. If u wanna do that just wait and get elected then do, the logic is just so dumb it’s unreal.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
11 months
White boy summer 2024 fashion inspo mood board
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Thank you “the points guy” HUGE take here.
@nypost
New York Post
1 year
‘The Points Guy’ travel influencer Brian Kelly warns flyers to avoid Boeing 737 Max 9s after Alaska Airlines horror
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Have a new friend now!. If ur ever going thru it, never hesitate to reach out - support systems (esp. for men) are key and we often neglect that. Let’s have a day!
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Hey #Fintwit & @WallStreetOasis can y’all send this man my way? He’s got a friend in me
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
17 days
The great reset is beginning.
@ACKCurrent
Nantucket Current
17 days
Nantucket is considering an island-wide ban on pickleball courts
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
8 months
The summer officially begins in NYC once the escorts who were in Monaco “for F1” and Cannes “for the red carpet” land back at JFK.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
8 months
Story time:. Back when I was in law school at UVA, I’d come up to NYC to visit my gf at the time; she was out of town for the weekend or something, so me and my boy (who is now a learned doctor) and I decide to throw on NBA all star jerseys (from Ali express $19.99 - I did ‘92
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
This is why China will never win
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
9 months
Saw this on @WallStreetOasis - seems like Patrick will try to censor it soon about BAML IBD analysts walking out tomorrow . Not really in the loop, but let me know what to retweet / share that’s helpful
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
6 months
How many fucking “tell-all” memoirs are these losers gonna have ghost written till they realize no one care?. Skill issue.
@nypost
New York Post
6 months
Meghan Markle plans to expand on royal struggles in explosive tell-all memoir: report
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
Choose your fighter (C-suite edition)
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 months
I see no reason why, at a federal level, Election Day is not a National holiday and a ID/passport shouldn’t be required . Poll taxes and literacy tests were absolutely discriminatory and were implemented to prevent certain groups from voting. However, I have yet to see any.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
Guy like me ALWAYS walks to the plane gate first (to make sure it’s real) before doing anything else.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
2 years
I workout a few times a week w the CEO of a $20B company and it has only confirmed there’s never an excuse to let work take priority over fitness.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
9 months
This guy who allegedly died by being overworked was a Green Beret…. We’re going to let “THE BANK of AMERICA” get away with that when they had an intern die in 2013 for working 3 days with no sleep…. Being a banker isn’t hard, it’s the managers that make it good or bad . Keep.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 months
A vice president at Goldman cannot afford to live in Greenwich…uhhh what 😂.
@realdschmidt
Daniel Schmidt
3 months
Greenwich, Connecticut is the white version of Wakanda. I didn’t know this place existed till I met this girl from there whose father is a VP at Goldman and mom worked for IMG Models. WTF? And she had a hint of limousine racism. kick your feet in the air like a windmill.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
Turning 33 this week and wanted to quickly write down a few thoughts to younger versions of myself:. The things that I wanted the most when I was in my mid-20s like:. - a law degree from UVA.- to work at the top bank on Wall Street.- a two tone Rolex .- a blonde gf with big fake.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
Ur body fat percentage being ur tax rate (AND). If married, the lower of the two with deductions for kids would literally turn America into a powerhouse . *with proper exceptions of course.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
Hinge needs a filter for just <5’5” latinas.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
29 days
Horrible take:. “Employers love hiring athletes, but is it worth a 170-point SAT trade-off? That’s roughly equivalent to a 12-point difference in IQ—a meaningful gap.”. The “IQ gap” is made up by EQ and competitive ability - why student-athletes and veterans are better performers.
@auren
Auren Hoffman
1 month
Recruited athletes at Harvard for the class of 2027 had an average SAT score of 1368, compared to over 1540 for non-athletes—a staggering 170-point difference. Yet, most Division I athletes proudly list their sport on their résumé, effectively signaling, "I likely have a lower.
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MARK MORAN™️
12 days
The we need less jocks / more nerds tweet to pretend Ohio State fan is a hilarious arc for a Harvard -> soros fellowship -> Yale law guy 🤪.
@danagibber
Dana Gibber
12 days
When you’re at a ball with the President, but it’s the last two minutes of the national championship #osu
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
3 months
Ok - gambling, porn and weed are leading to the decline of our society. Whenever someone tells you how to vote, always question what their motives and financial interests are.
@stoolpresidente
Dave Portnoy
3 months
It's not right that now that I'm back in Florida I can't legally eat pizza, smoke weed and watch football in the privacy of my own home. Vote #YesOn3 on Nov 5th to make weed legal in Florida
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
@spaghettimballs Because BYU is a Mormon school and soaking is a Mormon joke
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MARK MORAN™️
5 months
Hell yeah.
@TheGoddessF
The Goddess
5 months
A Kentucky coal miner took his son to a basketball game after work. He finished work at 5 p.m., and the game started at 6 p.m.
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
5 months
Woof
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@itsmarkmoran
MARK MORAN™️
1 year
When I saw him w two blonde escorts at edition around 2:30pm on a Tuesday when I interned at CS in 2016, I was like yeah that’s that dude
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