I like when my boyfriend throws the stick and tennis ball for me and pets me and calls me a good doggy. Is that so wrong, huh?
*standing in parking lot in rain covered in other peoples blood*
My arch-nemesis and leader of a rival motorcycle delinquent gang: .... you f4ggōt.....
@semtexfarmhand_
this is satire you screenshotted this too late and the joke is lost. he changed his @ to like "CvltvralWarrior" for this tweet. im Peter Griffin to explain the joke.
@N0vemberRa1n_
im from texas so when this state reminds me of a videogame it reminds me of a silent hill spinoff because im just stuck in my house with the no electricity due to torrential rain
@OnePtTwo2
unreal ass lightning terrible roofing and such a bland name for a store. hold your phone like 2 ft from ur face and istg this is just gta... saw this picture coming home from a con and i was in tears i thought it was literally just gta rp
@holeliker
*rolling on the floor of the restaurant* uhgggghhhhh i dont even really like what i ordered.... is that a tomato sauce on yours... is there basil.... wooow.... i bet thats really good...
@Sillysalesmanyo
more anti-Venus settlement propaganda from the Earth Coalition clowns i see. 67 credits is more than a fair wage for slime harvesting when you take into account the housing benefits and food strip item credits they receive, but you wont hear the Earth Coalition talk about that...
@db_witch
have you even seen the one about the surgically extracted human heart found thrown on top of a salt pile in tennessee and there was never a followup about it
@omisides
this youtube channel almost exclusively covers Discord updates and information. not all content has to be entertaining, in this case his content is great and its really helpful because hes straight to the point in all of his videos. really helpful channel actually
@generalslug
pit in my neighborhood got loose and charged my mom and she slammed the car door on it and it jumped against the glass thrashing its teeth while the owner went "my bad my bad 😀" and had to drag it away by its throat
@BivouacChillin
@no_goblins
the males ignore the pups but will accidentally crush them because theyre massive, the females will sometimes kill pups that arent theirs. i only know this information because of a Futurama episode but it's real I promise! check out the san diego natural history museum article
@MardukFanPriv
@LucyTheLamia
realism doesnt always equal better, this is especially true for a fighting game where a dude with four arms rips your legs off as a finishing move and a superhero horizontally smashes you into red mist. with so much other goofy stuff, the realism gun stance ends up super awkward
@crulge
been waiting on some kind of intervention to happen since Abbott was in favor of having CPS pull trans middle schoolers out of class to interrogate them. this guy sucks so hard this state is becoming hostile to live in unless youre outwardly hateful
@SalazarD4C
@HuiSt
you referred to them as "inferior beings" out of your own volition no one said that before u did homie. we r all brothers and sisters on gods green earth even tha bugs and spiders and cockroaches
@PogFishPoster
real shit do you ever NOT get your ass cooked on here? i keep seeing you on my tl and its always someone making fun of you does that not get tiring
@FTate05
Saw a guy get annihilated by a pickup truck going 70 in a school zone, was abt to call for help but he had a Zelda tshirt... errrr, sorry, your ambulance is in another castle buddy!🖕GAME. OVER. 🤣 Insert coin to continue! 0 lives remaining!
@juniejbones
lol yeah sugar ants will destroy computers because they crawl into them for warmth, die, and then release phermones that attract other ants to attack the computer (dying in the process). when i was in school there were huge ant bait traps in every computer lab because of this
@toxoplasmosii
the very old stray cat with 4 teeth will scratch anyone who pets his belly or arms but every time i see him he meows so loud and comes over and flops on the ground in front of me for pets and i love him and would take him in in a heartbeat if not for my own cat being a handful
@PolterRamder
@Skeetz_in_urMum
@diyorchiectomy
'ru says so and there have been no more 'jaks uploaded like this, perhaps he grew up and stop posting on the Bald Man With Glasses internet forum but im more inclined to believe hes dead
@generalslug
that same animal is probably dead because it kept getting loose and ended up biting an old mans hand charging a kid almost getting shot by someone with a concealed carry pistok on their porch and then it ran two blocks got into someones back yard and mauled their dog
Haters gonna hate, but don’t take crowd stats from us
Wish y’all were so critical about numbers from the “Gaza Health Ministry”
Thanks for the follow 😘
2012 twitter u could post like a 9/11 meme and ppl would be calling u sick and evil now u got ppl putting their phone cameras in the faces of overdosing drug addicts writhing in pain and that shit will get 6m views and the replies will have blue checks like this
@robertlasagna1
you gotta get on rig work instead nowadays. ill give it to u straight u have a 10% chance of dying on the helicopter ride there, 7% to something knocking u off. but if ur cool with that u can get like 80k in 6 months
@kickofalifetime
no its not. also really sucks now how some people can have their art really scrutinized not because they did anything bad but just because it looks too similar to an AI prompt. really really sucks that AI art as a general thing sewed so much distrust between people :/
@nise_yoshimi
not even a joke, if you go down the rabbit hole of medieval Wikipedia articles theres a lot of stuff that literally only exists on Wikipedia and nowhere else lol
@fuckthingy
this is like 8 wrappers and some popcorn lol this is relatively clean compared to what theatres look like after a packed 8 pm kungfu panda 4 screening. worst ive seen is nut and ash from a joint on a seat after Dune 2
@darlinfdq
@drummarts
its gonna be on tv and on cr and everywhere else but the fact that people are going to ASSOCIATE IT as being the Twitter Anime is so fucking unfair. I can't ever have a happy ending.
*weaves the blade of misery in every lifetime which destroys the effects of the blade of misery and then ive had this fight so many times that i effoetlessly predict your next strike and land a jab strike with my push dagger directly into your neck* nobley fought, assassin...howe
Nice try cupcake but your lame ass insults aren't gonna work against an Internet Oldhead like me 😂 I'm a fucking meme war veteran kid. I grew up with dank ass filthy frank and clorox memes. Pussy ass normies like you could never comprehend how edgy real e-Gangsters like me get.
@soulseekD
bros got his name written in Japanese AND nordic runes but lets check out that 23AndMe shall we???
Ahhhh... just as I expected...
60% POLISH 😂😂😂😂 BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME BUDDY 😂😂😂😂
yeah bro let me fucking 1v2. nah i dont need u here. like u can go home these guys are ass. fuck it tell them to call a friend i'm 1v3ing idgaf.
text 14 hours later: yeah bro they literally locked me in a Hell Cube i dont know how to escape can you help get me out of here
After Apply Music made that silly 100 best albums of all time list, I decided I wanted to make my own; so here’s what I think are the 100 best albums ever made (a thread):
#100bestalbums
@toxoplasmosii
eels are super friendly, follow divers around to play and eat fish the divers disturb and make active, and have very good memory. its a shame the real sea doggies are under appreciated because they look like giant spaghetti noodles. I love The Eels!
Treat yourself to 18 inches of Messmer the Impaler and more with the Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree Collector's Edition.
#ELDENRING
Pre-order ELDEN RING Shadow of the Erdtree:
@Texas_Made956
It’s not the dog breed, it’s always the owner. He’s still beating his dog even after letting go. The dog doesn’t know what’s a positive or negative correction. Pit bulls, Rottweilers, American bull dogs, corsos, etc these types of dogs required a specific discipline training. If
@Clrblindboi
@wildlifeco1
coyotes breed like crazy but the express purpose of this culling program is to limit their effect on the mule deer population because they prey on mule deer fawns. it is impossible to kill all of the coyotes in Utah.
@whipplefingers
my initial reaction was thinking about how terrible New Guy's hitbox is but then i realized a gimmick of this game is getting hit by a stonetoss comic as a combo and i remembered that this shit doesnt matter at all
open dm "are you ready to be a good gooner for mommy hnngh" or something like that. you get the joke i'm trying to make here obviously, i dont have to drag it out
@art_rube
@BenChungusEdens
i think a big part is recognitionx basically everyone knows what an AK looks like because its been used in like every conflict over the past like 70-80 years so when u see it up close u go "oh thats an AK" but seeing an MG34 with furniture gutted u go "oh thats a DLT19 blaster"