The Ball Is Orange
@theballisorange
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Following
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Let’s get these jokes off.
New York, NY
Joined March 2011
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Hoopers taking the city back from those fuckin colonizers one park at a time 🏀
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Dude fumbled her and she immediately went on the greatest heater we’ve maybe ever seen. Most successful world tour of all time, Time Person of the Year, became a billionaire, broke a Grammy record and her new boyfriend who could easily beat him up won the Super Bowl. DAMN.
Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn have broken up after six years together, ET reports.
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I wanna underage drink in there so badly
The Zoomers are romanticizing pre recession suburban tuscan-core on TikTok
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If there was a Mount Rushmore of bad sports tweets, what would be on it?
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It’s going to be very funny when EA makes no money off microtransactions in this game because everyone playing it is over 30, strictly plays offline dynasty mode and doesn’t believe in paying additional money to play a game they already bought.
NCAA 25 just hit the game store and the entire description is about Ultimate Team
I hate it here
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This has been floated as our fantasy league punishment
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Thought he was tweeting a parlay
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We have our winner
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
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Funniest possible outcome is Colin Kaepernick showing up at a tryout and winning this guy’s spot as QB for Team USA in the Olympics
Team USA's Flag Football Quarterback Calls It "Disrespectful" To Assume NFL Players Will Take The Olympic Team's Spots In 2028
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She REALLY wants us to forget about the popcorn thing
And this boys and girls, is how you maximize your time and brand.
Kelsey Plum's cigars on the way this Summer.
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Oh man I better go warn 2005 about this
Studies Are Showing That Jagerbombs Could Be As Harmful As Cocaine And Causes Neurochemistry Changes At "Breakneck Speed"
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@certainlynotal
In 2021 there was a weekly Twitter meetup at a bar but you like, sorta had to be invited. This dude convinced me to bring him along, was an absolute dickhead and got thrown out, several e-girls then posted his extremely creepy DM’s. That guy SUCKED
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If you’re over like 26 and skipping weddings of people you care about to watch college football on tv you’re a loser and/or have a terrible gambling problem
The Knot reports that Saturday, October 12th is one of the five MOST POPULAR wedding dates in 2024.
Could NOT be me.
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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
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The woman who will fix you is currently blacking out in the parking lot of Lincoln Financial Field
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Holy shit I did not take Jeff Passan for a cold blooded killer
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I’m muting this now. Some final points:
-I wish everyone a year as kickass as Taylor’s
-I wouldn’t know Joe if he walked past me on the street
-same with Matt Healy, who I had completely forgotten about
-I hope everyone involved is happy and healthy
-I hope the same for you 🫶
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How the hell is there a market for this many energy drinks at a gas station in Warwick, Rhode Island
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@dangercart
They worked out Fultz for two days and then traded the pick before he took off from Logan. Meanwhile LaVar bullied the Lakers into taking Lonzo at 2. The top of that draft was insane.
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@landahoy14
I don’t know how to explain it but in 2024 that shot misses and becomes a meme forever
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@blublubluberri
I lost 40lbs and can now run a six minute mile since my last one so yeah, can confirm
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there are like 25 people roaming the earth right now in their late 20’s whose 9/11 story is “President George W Bush was reading to my class and then a guy whispered to him”
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Protect this woman from Fanatics at all costs
Kristin Juszczyk gets licensing deal with NFL and will be able to legally use team logos in her clothing designs, per
@Sportico
👏
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Alright time to mute this
She had long graduated by the time of the shooting
The conversation continued for a little while but ultimately we weren’t much of a match and didn’t go on a date. She was nice but we didn’t have much in common.
I’m happily engaged to somebody else ❤️
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The Europeans are sleeping
Quick post things they don't understand
The Europeans are sleeping
Quick post things they don't understand
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@niggasstressed
@BarsNC_
Unless you’re already a billionaire then it simply doesn’t matter 🤔
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@Mazen_Hammoud
This girl had mercifully graduated by then but it was a legit shock when she revealed that’s where she’s from
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@TheHealy6
There is one man on earth who looks like that, if you think the guy on your flight is Marshawn Lynch, you are right and do not need to ask him
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@AJS4199
Girls making Jell-O shots in the fridge, the fellas getting impatient and eating them when they aren’t firm yet. Kyle’s gonna puke a rainbow of them into the bathtub later. Life is good.
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Embiid out here making Wemby rue the day the French showed up in Cameroon
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@yonkochrisj
“Give me your keys. You’re all either sleeping here or a parent is picking you up.”
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“the Libs take on Brittney Griner” probably coulda been rephrased
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@TylerIAm
When Mr Burns walked behind city hall I just knew Maggie had the motive and the means
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@BDavis1776
Nah that was a different guy that she dated for like two weeks and I completely forgot it happened until now
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follow ups (who knew gamers could be feisty online?!?!)
-obviously not everyone playing this is 30+
-obviously EA will make money on ultimate team even though most people won’t touch it
-I know what whales are
-microtransactions are bullshit
-I still think this game will kick ass
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Senior year of high school I got suspended for slapping a freshman around (he was bullying another kid). My dad didn’t care so we went to Alaska during the suspension. Ten years later that freshman married my sister.
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@JoeMcCarthyStan
“Why do you spend that much on DoorDash instead of cooking?”
“That’s ableist!”
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If anyone has ever earned a free ticket to a national championship game it’s this dude. Absolutely dominated this season and went to 90 games, found the worst seat in every house, just absolute legend stuff
Ok freaking out but I just got a DM from
@TickPick
& they are COMPING my National Championship ticket to celebrate attending 90 CFB games in one season!!
You all advocated for me & they heard you! Thank you EVERYONE for your support & thanks to TickPick for this amazing gesture!
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@TheBestPoaster
The first text there was about you and I was like “yeah if he can’t get along with Bob that’s a bad sign” and then things devolved swiftly
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@Handsome_Jake_
Destroyed the entire division for 20 years, GM’s/coaches/QB’s all brought in to beat him then dismissed in a few seasons because they couldn’t, rinse and repeat over and over for the 3 other AFC East franchises.
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I have to kill like 45 minutes in Boston later and my first thought was “maybe I’ll go find that cop slide”
I need to start a family.
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Alright this was been fun but I’m muting this, really didn’t think it would get more than like 10 likes from the people who were there but here we are 🤷♂️
Moral of the story: Dont be a drunk jackass and remember not to be creepy in the DM’s!
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@JohnathonKlink
36, moved a year ago and haven’t hooked up my ps4 yet. Buying a ps5 for dynasty mode and nothing else until GTA 6
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Holy shit there’s only 11 days left of the Lexus December to Remember Sales Event. Fuck!
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@DPD_
“As Biden quit his job today I couldn’t help but wonder…. maybe I should quit Bob. I met Bob at a yoga class in Flatiron and before I knew it, we were heading into our fourth date. The only problem? He wasn’t Big, in any sense of the word”
/cuts to brunch, Samantha is disgusted
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Plymouth Rock: still America’s most underwhelming landmark. You could fit this thing in the bed of a Toyota Tundra
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Just brought a pack of Trulys to the counter at Walgreens and the cashier started laughing in my face. Taught him two years ago. Dude graduated last week and is working here for the summer before he goes off to learn how to fly planes. A king. Also, carded me.
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Minnesota Zynberwolves
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I’m not gonna bother learning who Matt Rife is
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She will buy her next boyfriend an Apple Watch and go through his texts on it while he’s asleep.
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SNL started their widest-appeal episode in years with an atrocity of a cold open, wasted 1/3 of weekend update on a Truman capote impression that didn’t make any sense and then started the funniest sketch at 12:56pm. Good job, good effort
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They forgot something
How is DraftKings promoting this on the front page??? This is insane behavior
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I’m at Wingnutz in Buffalo. Absolutely perfect 10/10 wings. Also saw a guy pull a gun, get absolutely manhandled by the bouncers and get arrested. Bringing a gun to a bar: dick move! And it was loaded! Fuck that guy! Banger wings though
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Wait what popcorn thing
The Kelsey Plum revenge tour is in full swing and I’m here for it. Imagine fumbling this woman, I cannot.
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Happy “the nba shut down and Tom Hanks got covid” day to all those who observe
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“Respectfully, the Warriors are acting like little bitches right now”
-Adam Silver
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5 years ago today one of my students learned that shooters shoot but also sometimes miss
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@RipperRondax
@SlimThikCuteAzz
Game itself is pretty fun, it’s the (usually 50+ year old) players taking over basketball courts and not moving when people come to use the court for its intended purpose that needs to stop
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Make them sail home on the mayflower
Team USA is eliminated in 3x3 basketball after losing 21-6 to the Netherlands 😮
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I overheard a dude get a girl’s Snapchat In line for an egg sandwich
In Newark airport
AT SIX O’CLOCK AM
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The Spirit Halloween website listing the dead businesses that haunt the stores is excellent Spooky SZN energy
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Matt Leinart: “Reggie! where ya been?!”
Reggie Bush: “you didn’t hear? They locked me out because I had another house”
Caleb Williams: “They gave me a penthouse”
Bush: /punches hole in wall
Carson Palmer pulls up on a golf cart: “get in boys! We’re late for OJ’s funeral!”
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@W_B_Rick
“His passion for flag football grew out of an intramural league at New Orleans's Xavier University, where he studied.”
man discovered flag football in college during the bush administration and thinks he’ll be in the Olympics in 2028
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