Somto
@somteeofficial
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Bags & wigs.
But if she really likes you:
Your love, attention, heart, soul, loyalty…
plus bags & wigs.
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Nah we AA premium don’t get sick. Y’all be safe
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So police officers came to my place this morning & handcuffed me saying I was under arrest (for a crime they wouldn’t tell me about).
After searching through all my rooms for whatever evidence they could find, then proceeding to search through my phones, laptops etc (at this
Just got handcuffed by police
What an amazing way to start my week.
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Lmao after 1 attempt I don ghost you.
I feel bad for men that put up with all these silly/childish challenges.
Person way like you no go stress you.
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Let me make it a round figure
Na wife way cook by 4:30am for her husband go enjoy 👍🏾
She'fe pami ni 😭😭🤲🏽🙏🏽 I've never seen this amount before. I've been busy at the hospital, turned off DND to see this, ahhh Jesus. Thank you all so much 🙏🏽🤲🏽😭
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Omo.. the best advice I can give you as a man is to be wary of women with high libido. Until you’ve experienced it, you may not really understand.
One faithful Saturday night, 12am to 3am nonstop (single round), under AC but drenched in sweat… and this babe still dey talk
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One thing I’ve realized is if you put out a job ad and 90+% of applicants aren’t qualified, it means the qualified ones aren’t interested in your offer.
Review your pay
Over 600 job applications yet we struggle to find 20 good candidates.
There are issues. How do we solve them?
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One of the reasons I work so hard is so my daughters would never see an expensive item and their first thought would be how someone else(a man) can get it for them.
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@Mickyiv4
Lool these questions sha.
I used to box.. I’d run everyday in the morning for 1hour+ before I train/box in the ring for another 2-4 hours. Then gym in the evening for about 2hrs.
My stamina was on roids.
But somehow, that babe still broke me.
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@nesky_sleek
You’ll be on your own minding your business, while someone is busy watching you, questioning your source of income and planning your downfall.
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@3rd_Wise_man
So after her 1st choice, 2nd, 3rd…. down to 10th choice, then backup1, backup2, final backup, final final backup, okay-this-is-the-last backup, ‘bad as e bad’, ‘e no fit bad pass this’, ‘God Abeg’, ‘who I offend’, ‘I must be cursed’ she now said omo, make I just marry Chinedu.
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@AyoJohnGlory
Honestly that’s all I can think about now, who that envious person is.
Maybe you’re right it’s for the best I didn’t collect the number, cause I can’t guarantee what I would do if I find out who that person is.
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Tbh,
Every tweet I’ve seen from them Wiz & Yom has been about spotting manipulation, highlighting double standards & not allowing women who don’t love you take advantage of you.
Never once seen them say you shouldn’t give the world to a woman that actually loves & cares for
If you don dey lucky enough to see babe wey really like you, better hold am tight and do right, apologise when you need to and guide your thing well.
If you like let dem Yom Yom and co dey influence you about relationships and how it should go, You go learn 😂
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One easy way to tell how much someone likes you is they want to do things for you
For men it’s buying you things / fixing your problems
For a lot of women it’s cooking meals for you / buying you things
If they do neither then that’s every sign you need to know you’re not loved
First week we spent together, went out for two days and came back to a refrigerator full of home made foods. From Banga to owho to egusi to ogbonor. As if that wasn’t enough, I turned around and saw plenty Fufu staring at me. I cried so hard because my ex was a fool
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Took a business loan of 2M at 30% interest to be paid back (N2.6M) in 1 year.
I was super confident I could easily pull that off as I was averaging about 60% net profit on sales and everything was good at the time.
Unfortunately, this was directly before Covid happened: sales
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@j0hnson007
Actually there are 3 genders.
Male, Female and Mental Disorder (Or Ment for short)
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@UniqueIdalia
@Adxyinka
Oh she did… for quite an impressive time at that. Possession was like 75 : 25.
I give her props for that 👌🏾.
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@fit_iam
Lmao na just practice and a sprinkle of determination to represent my family name.
I had to make a statement
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Lmao on top £1500 ‘flexing budget’ that they saved from working 2 shifts? Dfkm
The second batch of ijgb are coming in this week, apply pressure in your relationships o, this set coming in aren’t here to play.
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@Maltlani50
@Feezah_
Nah the babe is actually clean. Doesn’t even drink.
Just runs purely off raw natural female libido.
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@hackSultan
This is actually not true, I know a friend of mine who’s biological parents had no children, she just gave birth to twins last week
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Nwoke Enugu
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Just got handcuffed by police
What an amazing way to start my week.
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@at_cutez
Nah, I don’t take anything that’s not water or yoghurt (or fruit juice at times).
Omo na just practice plus little help from my ancestors.
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@__tega__
I can give my limited experience as both an employer & an employee
- Ensure the skill set matches the job description. Can’t post a Front-end job and require Django/Spring framework experience.
- Ensure the pay matches the job. Can’t have so many requirements and required
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Cole’s Law states that the cabbage must be directly proportional to the carrot, provided the mayonnaise remains constant 🥗
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@Aguywithnoname0
@tye_ebs
@kuz_chainz
Nah, we fullstack developers need both front and back end please.
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“I’m gonna put a baby in you” from rich man na sweet promise.
From poor man na threat.
Them see billionaire dey marry after 4 months and suddenly “A man that knows what he wants”.
But if hustling guy try am na “He wants to tie me down”
Them say he has the aura of a husband. 😂😂😂
9ja babes go whine you but mafo.
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@natastia_lois
@victorumesi
@Mickyiv4
Of course, why would I do only one position for 3 hours lmao. Only breaks were filled in with other sexual acts, probably 2 mins max if I remember correctly.
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@losBoppers
Pidgin English.
Translation:
Lmao after 1 attempt I would ghost you.
I feel bad for men that put up with all these silly/childish challenges.
Someone that truly likes you wouldn’t stress you.
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@DWhytewolf
Wanting your man to do nice things for you is perfectly normal.
Seeing a nice product you like and your first thought being how to select the type of man that would buy it for you is a very low mentality.
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£1500 is obviously good money anywhere in the world.
The point is most of them in UK are working and earning an honest living, some doing multiple shifts to have more savings at the end of the month.
It would be rather stupid to blow through month(s) of your savings working
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@fit_iam
Lol on a more detailed note, when you’re getting close change angles(not positions.. angles), it drops the stimulation. if it’s too bad slow down or completely come to a stop for a few seconds (fill in the gap with kisses, chokes, dirty talk, finger etc) so she remains on that
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Okay so I’ve been getting a lot of DMs asking for a roadmap on how to get into mobile app/game development.
I’m too lazy to reply all so I’ll just post it here:
(Note: This may not be the most straight forward roadmap but this is the path I took & what I usually recommend)
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@EniolaCodes
Senior Front-end developer in Nigeria : N350k
Internship in Foreign Company: $1000+
Who title help 😂
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@VENUS__6942
@fasc1nate
Imagine waking up and seeing this thing staring at you from your window
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@ridwan_olalere
@uncooloj
Venture capitalists investing in start ups. Most start ups spend a huge chunk of those funds on marketing, which is basically paying celebrities to promote their product. So they’re indirectly sponsoring the lifestyle of celebs
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@hackSultan
Lol I started coding using a 2gb ram pentium laptop that if used on your laps for 30 minutes+ would be the best form of birth control.
But these days I hear people saying they haven’t gotten into tech cause they don’t have a MacBook Pro M1.
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@omote_jowho
They’ve left. Apparently I have a very “concerned” neighbor.
Just tweeted about it.
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Lack of accountability. Blames others for his problems but never himself.
His drive to succeed is majorly fueled by impressing people & bagging baddies.
Complains about his situation but never does anything to fix it.
Wakes up by 7am to smoke egbo 🍃
Spends all his time on
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Na so I jam one babe, barely 3 weeks of talking stage she don plaster my picture all over her status like say I be missing person
If we’re dating please love me in private, you can show my hands, wristwatch, troziz or the back of my head. No go plaster my face for your social media o.
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Man that eats a lot na glutton.
Woman that eats a lot na foodie.
Okayyyyy 👍🏾
If I vex, I’m complaining
If you vex, you’re being expressive
Okkkaayyyyyyyyyyy😏😌😌👍
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Reminds me of this tweet
How are we sure Binance is not printing NGN? When people trade NGN-USDT on their platform, did they really deposit Nigerian Naira? Or is Binance just creating a kind of virtual naira? If it's doing that, then Binance is pumping 100s of million of naira into economy daily.
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Lol this is why as a developer you can never trust user input.
A simple { float amount = float.Parse(inputString.Replace(“ , ”, “ ”)); } would avoid this problem.
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Actually there are people who neither drink nor smoke. But you see Fock, just leave it for these people.
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@The_Ngozi
Yh that’s true, mentioned it here
@__tega__
I can give my limited experience as both an employer & an employee
- Ensure the skill set matches the job description. Can’t post a Front-end job and require Django/Spring framework experience.
- Ensure the pay matches the job. Can’t have so many requirements and required
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I used to suffer from this. I was never able to do anything on time.
Then at some point I figured out a method, practically a series of steps I took and practiced daily in order to finally overcome procrastination.
I’ll write it down later.
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It didn’t turn to paper, they just ran a classic switch scam on her.
He gives her a bundle of real money in a nylon, she counts and confirms it.
Buyer pretends not to want to buy again (gives any reason like not convinced on the price/quality), she gives him back the money.
Sales girl befuddled after the N118,000 she received from a customer turned into paper
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Tribe of Judah was a nice movie, though nothing spectacular. The huge numbers it did is owed to great marketing.
Breath of life on the other hand struck emotions I didn’t even know I still had. Easily the best Nigerian movie I’ve seen.
Time to settle this, which deserved movie of the year?
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@yabaleftonline
Okay this was a very kind gesture but highly unnecessary. If he feels offended/intimidated cause you have a car lol then I don’t think that’s the kind of person you’d want in your life
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If all your “choices” are people you aren’t attracted to then it’s lack my dear.
Women doing stainless will always be by Choice and never from a place of lack.
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Inverter battery died.
Gen that I haven’t used/serviced in a while surprisingly starts on first try.
They brought light.
I put off gen.
They took light.
Gen no gree on again.
Nepa nice one 👍🏾
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Whatever you do. Don’t take option 2.
Take this from someone who did.
So my question to solo entrepreneurs(small businesses) is, would you rather:
1. Collect a free 500k to support your business.
2. Get a 10M loan to pay back 15M (625k monthly) over a 2 years period.
3. Collect 5M for 20% of your business for life.
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Dropping out of school..
Twice
What’s that thing you did that made them call family meeting on your head?
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N10k, N20k is “Day-ta”
N500 na “Dah-ta”
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@Nadiipraise
That would require you to harness a skill you possess that people would willingly pay you money for and positioning + marketing yourself till you finding paying clients/employers.
Then discussing a suitable payment plant with your creditor based on what you can comfortably earn.
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Also anyone asking you to pay them exorbitant amounts of money to teach you ‘tech’ isn’t genuine.
You can literally learn almost everything you need from free courses on YouTube.
Enough to start landing gigs and earning cheques. From there you can further your knowledge and
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Same here.
I don’t believe in grace, believing there’s an external force that determines your results regardless of whatever efforts you put in diminishes your resolve for introspection in identifying your faults + areas that need improvement and it absolves you of
You are actually trying to water down my efforts.
It is okay if YOU believe in grace, I don't.
There are principles that would always work regardless of your belief or unbelief.
If you don't sow, you can't harvest anything
You have convinced yourself that there is a force
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I raise you:
When you’re owing someone/loan apps and not expecting money from ANYWHERE.
the deepest trenches of being a man has to be when you're not expecting money from ANYWHERE .
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Something I realized in my childhood:
Pray for A alone = wont get A.
Pray and work towards A = acheive A.
Work towards A alone = acheive A.
So using simple math:
If x + y = 10
& x + 0 = 10
… whats the value of y?
JSYK; Teaching children to rely on prayers, creates adults that cannot solve problems on their own.
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The sad part is it has become so normalized here that our women don’t realize how bad this entitlement mentality is.
I’ll say this only once. Someone can choose to help you out, send you money, fix your problem or buy you a gift… and if that happens that’s great.
But no one
I remember one time there was a girl I tried to be besties with and she lives in Nigeria but studied in Paris… she got mad at me for not buying her a new laptop charger and the friendship ended there! 😂😂😂😂
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@EbukaEnechukwu
@Mickyiv4
Find a boxing gym in your city.
Train cardio daily.
Eat clean.
Watch boxing videos.
Fear is completely normal at the start, once you get hit enough times you’d get rid of that fear.
Avoid too much mekwe.
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@kreatormaal
This usually happens when you’re not really into the babe.
Lol tho sending her home is inhuman. I’d just go to the parlor and watch TV or occupy myself with work till she leaves in the morning
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The fact that you even had to mention the first part lol.
I WILL NOT step-father anybody’s kid!
I’d build & finance an orphanage for abandoned kids if life blesses me.
But it’s not me they will call daddy.
i’m not afraid to admit as a black man that i will not be a step dad for anyone’s kid.
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This is so cute.
If you guys actually end up together I’ll cover the amala & ewedu (catering) costs for you peoples wedding.👌🏾
But you sef try form small, let him earn your trust back. Anyways, rooting for the 2 both of you.
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I’ve mentioned this before that there are only 3 genders.
Male, Female and Ment.
“How did you discover that you’re non-binary?”
Goz:
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If anything, See this as motivation that you don’t need to be intelligent to make it in tech/business.
You just need to be able to convince investors you are.
Then hire intelligent people to do the actual work.
How are we sure Binance is not printing NGN? When people trade NGN-USDT on their platform, did they really deposit Nigerian Naira? Or is Binance just creating a kind of virtual naira? If it's doing that, then Binance is pumping 100s of million of naira into economy daily.
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