Mwìte-mania
@skaroko
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. A goat is a poor man's cow.
Nairobi
Joined July 2012
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There are very few areas I can give advice on. For best results, assume anything I say here is an opinion.
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Betrayal early in the movement is a gift. I don't know why the sadness.
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Buy a big TV they said. It will be fun they said. They didn't say though, that you will watch movies and football on your phone as the big TV is ever on Cocolemon and Jim Jam. But si ni life.
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Our Kikuyu queens are unbeatable in identifying potential in a man. What I am saying is, if a kuyo babe likes/loves you, you just might have a great future ahead.
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I have learnt to use my MMF as a personal Mobile loan fund. Anytime I have a shortfall, I take money from my MMF and payback with Shylock like interest. Has grown it surprisingly fast. Money that should have gone to safaricom for example. Think about it.
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I think people in this country have completely lost the value for money concepts. Posh restaurants with everything but food, crazy alcohol prices just because, 8 year jalopies selling at 60% of new cars and how the hell is that house worth 600M? What are we smoking?
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A colleague from a workplace I was bought a car. It was a very big milestone for a young man who had overcome so much and we were very proud of him. Nilikuwa nimezoea kumbeba jioni so hio siku he got into my car na tukaenda. Tukiwa Thika Road ndio namuuliza na si ulikuja na gari?
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Easiest way to change Kenya is to beat MPs on sight, anytime, everywhere and at even no provocation. Nothing is visited on us without MPs selling us out. Beat them soon after electing them so that they know we are not taking nonsense. Beat them for being beaten. Beat them.
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According to Kikuyus,we named a whole county after him. 😭😭😭😭.
Nairobi should have a major road named after Nelson Mandela.
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I once boycotted that dairy company's products in solidarity with Githunguri dairy farmers due to the harassment they were facing. Only for the farmers to vote the duo back in 2017 to the man. I have since learnt to mind my business.
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After nine years of Jubilee you know police reforms failed when you have to print an abstract at own cost. Hapa serikali ndio mkora. And no paybill in police stations to pay fines. Hell, even use ecitizen to pay fines. Nobody wants reformed policing and it shows.
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We call people who got us into this with their eyes open grave diggers.
In Sagalla we call people like Gabriel Oguda here grave dancers.
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Sakaja new since 2017 that he wanted to be governor but could not be bothered to go back to school and finish his coursework? This is the person supposed to make plans for Nairobi for even 30 years into the future?
Sakaja asks IEBC to dismiss degree certificate complaint, says he graduated from Team University in Uganda
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@waluwande
@Poluoch
And then you start liking the cartoons and singing the songs in the office.
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Ukitaka kuelewa hii serikali vizuri, read that article by Jamais Cascio in 2020 on facing the age of chaos. This government is brittle. Do not confuse that for strength. Strong things bend and yield and absorb pressure. Brittle things resist until they break.
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@Kiragu_rm
@Joy_Kimaiyo20
That's why you must interact with your kids so that they can form their own opinions. Nature abhors a vacuum even in fatherhood.
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All markets built by Jubilee are empty? Yet City Market is older than time and packed. Useless people all round.
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People have this annoying habit of expecting a tweet to cover all the angles and nuances. It's a tweet, not an abstract. If it doesn't cover what you want, make your own. No need brooding over 280 characters from a broke stranger with bad eyesight.
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GoK should mess with Ethiopian Airlines until Safaricom is reimbursed or respected. Hii upuzi ya being the bigger man tuwachie watu wanono.
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That Moi with a broke government, less education, smaller government and without these powerful analytics, predictive and digital tools we currently enjoy managed floods in 97 better than WSR is very telling. Enyewe incompetence cannot be hidden for long.
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Nikiwaambia the solution to our problems is more devolution not less of it, mtaniamini? Devolve education, policing etc kabisa. National government should have only 30% of the budget for MFA, defence, trade, higher education.
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As opposed to which language before colonization?
Colonization really did harm to Africans.Three young Africans on the same dinner table but we couldn’t communicate because I speak English & both speaks French & Portuguese respectively!
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Pray for high school principals. School fees at 2013 levels but food prices have doubled, power prices have tripled and school populations have doubled needing more staff and a clueless ministry with delocalisation. A prayer for the principal is a prayer for your children too.
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Trash Pizza Inn all you want but their pizza is the first a lot of people taste and mostly as a treat. Do you know the emotional attachment that they get from that? Those chaps are not going out if business anytime soon.
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I understand KK people who voted for government, have realised their error and are now thinking about it. Wenye sina huruma nao ni the whataboutists. Ati was Raila perfect? Unatuuliza kama nani? How do we compare pigs and cows? Sit at the corner and shut your mouth.
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One thing I wish Kenyans understood well enough is the concept of value. Bar affordability (a big deal really), if you buy shoes for 1,500 and wear them for 6 months or buy a good pair for 10,000 and wear it for 10 years, it should be a no brainer. Value for money works.
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How the government has treated those tourists from Pakistan is nonsensical at best. You allow them in, then change your mind and now tons of our tea business might be affected. No one in government sees the bigger picture.
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Wajackoyah at this point is trolling us. Next what will we do? Milk elephants? Use migrating flamingoes as a postal service? Use warthogs as a war animal?
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Everyone bets wrong every once in awhile. But on this, it was clear. No reformist or even opposition credentials. PEV. Opposing the constitution. You cannot tell me this was not clear. And don't come at me with the other camp BS.
It's now abundantly clear that even after more than 10 years in government and with lieutenants spread all over government, Parliament and Judiciary, Parastatals, etc etc, THERE WAS NEVER A PLAN, especially for the downtrodden- mama mboga, boda boda, wheelbarrow folks!
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The rebel moon series is so underrated. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Zack Snyder is onto something.
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That Nyakundi thesis on money laundering is a naive person's analysis. You cannot launder money without a thriving cash rich business. Otherwise how will you perform the placement, layering and integration properly?
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American movies always have their staff being stubborn about being repatriated home when impending doom is approaching. But kwa ground they are normally the first one's to disappear.
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@taitamusa1
😂😂😂😂. Weeeee. That feeling upon realising you don't need to queue must have been heavenly.
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What I have learnt by observing the ordinary people who have gone viral like the ugali snatching guy, the nitakifinya chap or the passswaad fellow is that they went viral while being authentic. Authenticity is refreshing when we see it.
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@walubengovich
They show him sequentially smaller booty each day until by the last week they are just showing him our sisters from the mountain.
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@PearlMncube
😂😂😂😂. I gave him a ride as usual and halfway we remembered he left his car in the office.
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Feedback ya supervisor inaweza kumaliza bwana. What do you mean I lack clarity? Itabidi niende Kerugoya weekend kupumzisha akili.
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Lakini you have to give this government so.w credit. They are an equal opportunity punisher. Whether you voted for them or not, you will collect your punishment.
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@inglorious_bat
3 days. I have realized most emergencies are poor planning or poor budgeting and self indiscipline. It has helped me come up with a self appropriate definition of emergency. And it works for me.
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One CEO told us in an informal meeting that whatever McKinsey had proposed (layoffs) was common knowledge but they needed the cover so that they can hide behind their recommendations. 😭😭😭😭.
Strategy and consulting multinational, McKinsey, has been commissioned to conduct a cost-benefit analysis for Kenya’s transition from internal combustion engine vehicles to electric vehicles.
Finance Act 2023 VAT zero rated of e-Mobility Vehicles and components such as solar and
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Reality really has hit voters hard this time round. 😭😭😭😭. And fast. Since 1963 this is the fastest it has moved.
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Jana I took an extensive tour that took me to 7 counties and the common thread is just how badly maintained the roads are even on key highways. Roads you could max out your speedometer (please don't) 5 years ago are now so potholes man. Also lost a tyre. Kenya kwisha.
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Most of Kenyan staples rely on foods introduced by foreigners quite recently. Where is our culture? Ugali and maize, gìtheri, waru, rice, chapati, some varieties of beans. What were we eating before and how we're we cooking it?
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The average kenyan is more patriotic than the average parliamentarian. Hio recall clause itabidi imeandikwa na korti juu hatuwezi ishi hivi. These guys will serve us whether they like it or not.
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Meteorology department make me happy. Waliskia El Nino imeombewa wakasema wacha watulie tuone kama mvua inaogopa kufutwa. Na saa hii wamenyamaza tu just quietly laughing I am sure. Anyway, kazi ya Mungu haina makosa.
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@xysist
@AnyunguWanyungu
Plus remember 844 was cutthroat. You find people taking courses essentially below their capacity but due to competition cannot get into their preference. Many people can hack engineering but qualified for BCOM.
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Why do most manufacturing powerhouses always start with textiles first? UK, US, China, India, Vietnam etc? How does textile manufacturing connect to industrialization?
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Part of the reason for our current stagnation especially in job creation is because our government is in a fight with ideas. They would rather fight innovation than enable it.
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@justinewanda
The sauce is in the next line. Hapo ni vile tulifunzwa in essay writing you start with a dramatic scene.
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As you go into the new week, remember the gold fish. In a bowl it is small. In a basin it might grow a bit bigger. In a lake it is massive eating other fish. Now you are a gold fish. And Kenya is a bowl. We will break these barriers brethren. We cannot outgrow our environment.
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@pmuoge
@EZRAwaCHELSKI
This one should come with a goat tūmūhūre na tatha ni gūtūcambithia mbere ya mumo.
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Tim, nakuombea unachotafuta serikalini upate. Lakini angalau si mwachie maskini hata pahala pa kutuliza njaa?
We now have to pay our debts. So everyone gotta chip in… if we default, all public services will fail…
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How can you control parliament and executive and still be this clueless? 😂😂😂😂.
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Hii sasa ndio kazi ya MP but Kenyans select for Harambee contributions and theatrics and tribalism. Then they shudder when they end up with Salasya, Jaguar, Kagombe et al.
Forget the nonsense of Kenyans vs Gema.
Kericho and Nandi tea farmers farmers..Finance Bill 2024 will be shaving you next..🪒🪒
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Being done dirty by women doesn't make you a nice guy though. 😭😭😭😭.
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Something is very wrong in this country. I hate it when I agree with Matiang'i but we have opened the door for wolves and they are devouring us pole pole. Wash wash gang and con people are firmly in government.
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Everyday you interact with government, you see why private sector is such a threat. In a country where a government job means prosperity, you can only control people if you deny them alternatives. All this crippling of business environment is very intentional.
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One retirement hack is to have your shelter figured out. Don't be caught paying rent in retirement.
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When you see a company fail to pay statutory deductions, pension deductions, Sacco deductions etc please run. It has less than an year's runway. I am wondering what that means if the employer is government though.
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@Kiragu_rm
@Joy_Kimaiyo20
Money, no matter how hard to come by will never replace the time spent and lessons taught. Check homework, play football, go for walks, etc. The small things count.
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Green monster are reaching out to all their customers via email. Ni kama kumechemka.
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You wouldn't know there is a massive foot and mouth outbreak in this country because government isn't even bothered. But the real crime is that counties do not even have a clue where to start and those that are prepared are selling the vaccines exorbitantly to farmers. Sigh.
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Imagine earning your 30K that you also pay black tax on and the president telling you to contribute to a housing fund to help unemployed Kenyans? WaKenya mlichagua gaslighters tupu. 😂😂😂😂. Shida ni ati we are all suffering. Kuleni wembe.
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Hii ndio dawa.
Easiest way to change Kenya is to beat MPs on sight, anytime, everywhere and at even no provocation. Nothing is visited on us without MPs selling us out. Beat them soon after electing them so that they know we are not taking nonsense. Beat them for being beaten. Beat them.
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@254onion
@MonyqueXO
😂😂😂😂. That's why it was hilarious. But I guess watu ni tofauti. My first jalopy I almost slept in it.
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He has fallen under the trap of going after organisers rather than talking about the rejection of the finance act. Huyu amepotea. He is seeing ghosts.
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Kenya is a collection of missed opportunities and wrong turns and the key drivers of this are the inept and corrupt venal elites. And the common man might just be onto them.
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Satafrikans were two weeks ago calling Kenya a vassal but this week, this week we are gonna be peaceful. 😁😁😁😁.
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Some of you might b shocked to find out that someone thinks you are dynasty because of a hire purchase smartphone and Bluetooth speakers. Violence has no children. Be careful as you propagate it.
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CBD is getting messier and it's all due to the police. I am for disbanding that moribund colonial relic now more than ever.
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If you do not interrogate a politician's past with a fine tooth comb, you will never know them well. That's how you end up serving a murderous dictator because he has god on his side.
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@maumauveteran
Save for your emergencies in a money market fund ( disposable income lazima.) If a need arises, borrow from it then pay back like you would payback say Tala. Overtime, you realize most emergencies are not real emergencies and due to the lag between withdrawal and receiving the...
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Anyone who tells you about work abroad is lying to you. All the best jobs are in high traffic areas that are also very expensive to live in. Your supposed savings will come at a very high price. Overwork, racism, chappy living conditions and more importantly, social cost.
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The Nigerian phenomena of building large mansions in the village has caught on here. It doesn't feel right.
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Confirms an interesting rumour I heard. Kimeturamba aisee.
PRESIDENT RUTO appoints environmentalist, Prof Patrick V. Verkooijen, as Chancellor of the University of Nairobi for a five-year term.
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Let nobody lie to you, a good education will do magic for your career, life and general social network. At the core, education is about adaptability, flexibility, learning to learn, curiosity. Nothing has lifted more people out of poverty than education. Self education also.
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Martha clearly shows, the best man for the job, really is a woman.
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