Sarah Tarlow
@sarah_tarlow
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archaeologist, writer, reader, wino, crisp enthusiast
Joined August 2022
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Eight years ago, my husband died. Our youngest child had just turned 11. We’d been married for two weeks. He’d been ill for five years. Finally, he waited till the kids and I were out of the house, and ended his own life. Here is a thread on assisted dying and our experience.
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Woohoo! Publication day! I am so thrilled that this is finally out and in book shops today
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His act was a brave and loving thing. He was trying to protect me and the children. It still hurts. Legislating against assisted dying doesn’t stop people ending their lives. It just forces people to die bleak and derelict deaths. Dying people deserve better. They deserve choice.
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Out in paperback today! Thanks to everyone
@picadorbooks
and to the lovely booksellers who are getting it out into the world
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The things he liked included: fossils, pickled herring, cycling, Rome, difficult ideas, BBC World Service, cooking, clever women, strong coffee, Tom and Jerry, jazz, nineteenth-century European novels, gardening, and a yellow climbing rose called Mermaid.
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He couldn’t access psychological support because all the professionals who might provide it are obliged to treat suicide as a risk, and something to be prevented. And most of all, he felt he had to die alone, with nobody holding his hand.
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Under the present English and Welsh law, ending your own life because of physical suffering is a very lonely and isolated experience. Mark knew he wanted to die, but to protect me from prosecution, he couldn’t have me with him, or share his plans with the person closest to him
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When he died, he was bedridden, in constant discomfort, doubly incontinent, unable to taste, smell or see much, but when he was well, he was handsome and brilliant. Like me, he was an archaeologist. He was also a dad, a brother, an uncle and a friend.
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Throughout May, the kindle version of The Archaeology of Loss is available for £1.99. An absolute snip! Any help getting the word out would be much appreciated. Thanks.
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Thank you so much, everyone, for helping get the word out that kindle version of The Archaeology of Loss is on special! It's now in the top ten for archaeology, and I am delighted
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Had a great evening yesterday, launching The Archaeology of Loss at Leicester University
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Thank you everyone for your kind comments about the extract published in The Guardian on Saturday. I've had lovely messages from old friends and complete strangers sharing their stories. I feel honoured
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Very thoughtful and deep review of Archaeology of Loss by Mel Giles in Antiquity
📕
#BookReview
@sarah_tarlow
's 'The archaeology of loss' is "a moving plea to find a better way for the terminally ill to have more agency and more options when facing death, including the company of their loved ones" 1/2
(£)
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You can read this thoughtful review of The Archaeology of Loss by
@HelenRumbelow
for free this weekend, while The Times paywall is down. When it came out, it made my friend cry: 'that reviewer really gets it,' she said
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This is why archaeology matters. We have to resist the dubious archaeological claims of modern Israel. The early archaeology of the West Bank is not directly connected to the Palestinian Authority or the Israeli State. This is propaganda for a land grab
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My fantastic student has written a brilliant MA thesis. Take a look!
My MA thesis is available online. Archaeology of Loneliness. This topic is addressed for the first time with this theoretical depth. The thesis moves between theory and practice, sciences and humanities. Thanks, Professor
@sarah_tarlow
, I will always be indebted to you.
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This is a lovely post from
@Jim_Leary
, whom I had the pleasure of meeting last night. Despite not knowing a soul, I had a similarly wonderful experience with a bunch of warm and interesting people. Didn't meet Tracy Chevalier though
I want to tell you a story about last night and kindness, so settle in or move on depending on your inclination. A little while ago I wrote a book called
#Footmarks
and was invited last night to the
@Hatchards
‘Authors of the Year’ reception. Invited - I assume - by mistake.
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Brilliant workshop on archaeology, bodies and art yesterday, led by two archaeologists who are also a poet and an artist, the brilliant Mel Giles and
@roseferraby
. Thanks
@bodypoliticsERC
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What a beautiful start to the year. A very thoughtful, lovely review
Happy New Year! I am kicking of 2024 with a review of
@sarah_tarlow
's wonderful memoir The Archaeology of Loss
Read my review here:
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Thanks for all your supportive and kind responses to the thread I posted yesterday, and for amplifying it. The children and I all have good, happy lives now, but I will continue to campaign for legal change so nobody else has to die like he did
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How exciting!
We ploughed through 150+ books and made some difficult decisions.
Now we can announce the ten writers shortlisted for our 2025 Gladstone's Library writing residencies.
Info below. Let us know if you recognise any names!
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@drrachelhewitt
So sorry for the shittiness of it. I get it. For me, school events, concerts and parents' evenings were the worst. Beer would definitely help. And crisps
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I fell on my feet with
@gillianfkelly
and
@siobhanslatt_
@picadorbooks
And with my lovely agent
@thestormboy
Happiest THE ARCHAEOLOGY OF LOSS publication day
@sarah_tarlow
💙
@picadorbooks
‘This crisp book is addictively unsentimental. . . Meticulously honest’
@thetimes
‘Extraordinary, unflinchingly, wonderful’
@ninastibbe
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Great evening interviewing and being interviewed by Lizzie Pickering, author of When Grief equals Love, at Blackwell's, Oxford last night. Lots of laughter despite the serious topic.
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@drrachelhewitt
Yes, I absolutely get this. I had to change my work after my partner died, because I could never leave the kids. One of the ways that sole parenting is often different to single parenting after divorce
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What a pleasure it was to have this conversation with
@eliistender10
and
@sophiegreenart
This week, we spoke to Professor
@sarah_tarlow
about navigating grief and loss, losing a partner, assisted dying and more.
Listen & subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
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My son Greg filled his brother's hair conditioner bottle with custard. The result was way funnier than I thought it was going to be. Adam is planning his revenge
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A reminder that for the whole month of May, the kindle version of The Archaeology of Loss is available for a mere £1.99! What a deal!
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One of the glorious things about being external examiner for Galway archaeology department is that the staff are so interesting and lovely. I have been treated to a fabulous trip of Neolithic sites in Sligo today by the brilliant Stefan Bergh
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This just out, in Public Archaeology! One of my publications from the Ethical Entanglements project, led by the wonderful Liv Nilsson Stutz, on anonymity and dead bodies
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Had a good day looking for church graffiti in Lincolnshire churches with my friend John Robb
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I'll be talking with the wonderful
@octaviabright_
next Tuesday (2nd) at
@Dauntbooks
, Marylebone about The Archaeology of Loss. Please come along!
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I went to the relaunched Hunterian Museum in London today. I was impressed by its thoughtful but direct engagement with its own problematic history
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The Archaeology of Loss by Sarah Tarlow review – till death do us part
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Please come and see me!
@sarah_tarlow
is hitting the road to speak about her extraordinary memoir, THE ARCHAEOLOGY OF LOSS
@picadorbooks
. A very special book that will feel personal to all that reads it.
Tickets available on bookshop/festival websites!
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Great project. Not exactly what you asked for, but I've just published a literary memoir bringing together my thoughts about archaeology with a personal story of the death of my husband: The Archaeology of Loss (Picador)
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Lovely to see this positive tweet, eight years to the day since Mark died
Just finished this utterly beautiful book by
@sarah_tarlow
- it's put other recent books I've read into the shadows. The reality of death and dying and the complex range of emotions we feel for loved ones and ourselves too.
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@LondonAllergy
This moved me so much. My husband died of a neurological condition. He was ill for years. Nobody asked me how I was coping (angry, bewildered). This is so important
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Last bookshop talk for a couple of weeks. Looking forward to being in beautiful Ely on Thursday.
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Labour really don't stand for anything now. Because of our awful electoral system, and because Starmer and Co are spineless, pointless jellies, sensible people have no political voice
Starmer rules out return of free movement between UK and EU
Desperate and deceitful stuff from
@UKLabour
leader
You can't make Brexit work and a majority of Brits know this
We can't rebuild our public services while Brexit continues to make us poorer
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On the great man's birthday. Never mind the questionable hairstyle choices of my youth, this is when I got to meet the mighty Seamus Heaney when we interviewed him for our student magazine in Sheffield. 1988 or 89
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How brilliant is this? So excited to meet
@octaviabright
So excited that the wonderful
@octaviabright_
will be joining
@sarah_tarlow
for her first event at
@Dauntbooks
Marylebone High St on 2nd May!
🎟️
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Come and work with us at Leicester!
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I was made very welcome by
@ToppingsStAs
last night. The audience was super engaged and asked great questions. Thanks to those who came, and to everyone who has bought The Archaeology of Loss
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@nmj428
I appreciate that this is not what you're used to, but ways of showing respect are culturally variable. Not doing things your way doesn't mean people are unethical or disrespectful
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I had the pleasure of hearing this lecture the other week. Clear and engaging and a great summary for people who don't work in the field
My Huxley lecture, November 2023 Mostly out of Africa
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Great interview with Mandy Garner (
@WorkMumOnTheRun
), whom I very much enjoyed meeting. Thanks, Mandy
Sarah Tarlow speaks to
@WorkingMums
about her book on being a working carer and about the need for honest conversations about that role and about dying -
@sarah_tarlow
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As part of your coronation celebrations, why not come along to Collected Books in Durham
@CollectedDurham
, where I will be talking about The Archaeology of Loss with Julie Marie Strange? Saturday 6th May
Missed your chance to get tickets for tonight's event with
@RachaeleLennon
on
#WeddedWife
?! Check out these other author events coming up in the next fortnight! Tickets £5.00 and include discount on the relevant book.
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Your poem expressed something I feel deeply about. Too much for twittex, but it's one of the reasons I wrote The Archaeology of Loss
Sarah, I’m so sorry for your unbearable loss. Your comments have touched me deeply. Sending much love 🖤
I hope that we will find a way to deal with assisted dying in a compassionate and safe way.
I wrote the poem this morning, made a few tweaks. It is from the heart.
#Writing
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Thanks for this thoughtful reading
I failed to place a review of Sarah Tarlow’s The Archaeology of Loss, but I thought it was wonderful - by turns thoughtful, angry, illuminating, unflinchingly honest & deeply moving.
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Sarah Tarlow. 2023. The archaeology of loss: life, love and the art of dying. Basingstoke: Pan Macmillan; 978-1-5290-9953-9 hardback £16.99. | Antiquity | Cambridge Core -
Mel Giles has written a wonderful, thoughtful review of The Archaeology of Loss
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I'm going to be talking The Archaeology of Loss in Nottingham next week with author Graham Caveney. Come along!
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Mine's not the only book out today, apparently! I love Claire Fuller's work and this sounds great
It’s UK publication day for The Memory of Animals and I can’t wait to see those octopuses out in the wild! Thanks to everyone involved in the making of this book especially everyone
@FigTreePenguin
🐙🐙🐙
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Lovely review of The Archaeology of Loss, available in North America from October 15th
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Looking forward to speaking about The Archaeology of Loss at Topping &Co Edinburgh on Wednesday 3rd May
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Cannot wait to talk with the brilliant Clover Stroud about life, love and loss at the Bradford Literature Festival on 28th June. Get your tickets here!
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Orchid of the day: common spotted orchid, Swaddywell, near Peterborough
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Some highlights from my brilliant colleague,
@OJTH
. I am super privileged to work with clever, original, interesting, supportive people like Ollie
So it has been a bit of a year, highs and lows on all the usual personal fronts but here are a few things I wrote with my pals you might be interested in…
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@BoMandeville
@pollyrowena
@NoreenMasud
@jadeAfitton
@ericajberry
Hope these books are making things more bearable, x
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@KateSFWriter
Thanks for this, Kate. It hurts and angers me more than anything that my husband had to die alone, without me or anyone to wrap him in love because he decided to end his own life when it became unendurable. I'm entirely in favour of assisted dying
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@electra_rhodes
This is wonderful. If not quite making friends with Death, at least being on familiar terms. For when.
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@sarahrward1
@ruskin147
@PeterAlanRoss
@Guillaume_Musso
@K_Stansfield
@YrsaSig
@KateAGriffin
@Wintersonworld
@sheilab10
@victoria_dowd
Thanks, Sarah. What an honour to be included here! Happy Christmas, x
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sat on hold to
@HMRCgovuk
for 50 minutes, so I could correct their error. Finally got through and then they cut the call. There aren't enough swear words
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A reminder that you can celebrate the coronation by talking death with Julie Marie Strange and me tomorrow. See you there
@CollectedDurham
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The oddest thing about this Leicester Square stabbing is that the Tea Shop has a security guard.
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@theDuncanMackay
I feel your pain. But realising that I can wear R socks on my L foot without crippling myself has been life-changing
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A highlight of
#eaa23
for me was listening to
@DavidPetts1
talking about 'islandness' in early medieval Britain. V good to be made to question what you think you know
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@PolitlcsUK
You mean violent thugs attacking asylum-seekers? And endangering life? This is crime, not 'protest'
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@drrachelhewitt
Thank you! I am also a big fan of your writing, and inspired by your energy and intelligence
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@eliistender10
@Aiannucci
@AvaSantina
@MarinaPurkiss
@JujuliaGrace
@novareidoffic
@SarahChampion
@Kat_McNamara
@drkathrynmannix
@drchatterjeeuk
@Jo_Frost
@JamesPurefoy
@omid9
@GinaLyons
@PeterStefanovi2
@kenjeong
Thanks, Giles. Hope the sun is shining on you too, x
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I haven't seen them yet, but they exist!
Beautiful finished copies of
@sarah_tarlow
’s extraordinary memoir THE ARCHAEOLOGY OF LOSS are in.
20th April
@picadorbooks
🕊️ please get in touch for more info / to request a copy!
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@clothofnature
@JaneRusbridge
Glorious! I saw one at the weekend, but didn't get such a good photo
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Owen and Francesca wrote this fascinating piece as part of our project, 'Harnessing the Power of the Criminal Corpse' a few years ago. Excellent tips for anyone in search of novel treatments for all sorts of ills
The magical touch of a hanged man on the gallows? Occasional reminder of a FREE article of mine (with Francesca Matteoni):
‘A virtue beyond all medicine’: The Hanged Man's Hand, Gallows Tradition & Healing in Eighteenth- and Nineteenth-century England
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Just found out this has been online for a few weeks. In conversation with Zoe Steadman-Milne for the Bristol Festival of Ideas
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I'm excited to be online next week, talking to the amazing Joyal Mulheron of the Evermore foundation. 7pm UK time, and on the In the Know YouTube channel afterwards
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@eliistender10
@Aiannucci
@AvaSantina
@MarinaPurkiss
@JujuliaGrace
@novareidoffic
@SarahChampion
@Kat_McNamara
@drkathrynmannix
@drchatterjeeuk
@Jo_Frost
@JamesPurefoy
@omid9
@GinaLyons
@PeterStefanovi2
@kenjeong
Thanks, Giles. Have a lovely weekend, everyone
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@ArchAncHistLeic
@mldev18
@LeicesterCSSAH
@uniofleicester
Congratulations Meghan. Your dissertation was fabulous. Mark Pluciennik, for whom this prize is named, was my husband, and he would have been delighted
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Check out "Sarah Tarlow 'The Archaeology of Loss' with Lizzie Pickering"
@Eventbrite
13th July. It would be great to see you there!
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@OJTH
Thank you Ollie, and thanks for improving it with your intelligent and constructive comments, xx
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@JamesMylet
@yearsofreading
Oh yes. That was excellent. Also, several of Anita Shreve's novels are set around there and they are terrific
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@Grace__Pengelly
I went back to work when baby was four months old (Had workplace nursery so I could still feed her). Just needed grown-up company
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Well, that was great! Got to hear the talented and charming
@anniegarthwaite
talking in Lincoln and reading from her marvelous new novel The King's Mother. Strong recommend
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Next week. This is the last of my currently scheduled book shop talks. This one with Lizzie, author of 'When Grief equals Love'. Please come and share stories (and maybe buy a book or two)
Check out "Sarah Tarlow 'The Archaeology of Loss' with Lizzie Pickering"
@Eventbrite
13th July. It would be great to see you there!
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@eliistender10
@Aiannucci
@AvaSantina
@MarinaPurkiss
@JujuliaGrace
@novareidoffic
@SarahChampion
@Kat_McNamara
@drkathrynmannix
@drchatterjeeuk
@Jo_Frost
@JamesPurefoy
@omid9
@GinaLyons
@PeterStefanovi2
@kenjeong
Hope the sun is shining on you too, despite the drizzle, x
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Fabulous morning talking (and walking) open field agriculture and biodiversity with the brilliant
@katebrownMIT
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@drrachelhewitt
And I would add that things get better! My youngest has just gone to university, so now I am quite free, but over the past few years, before that, I got more and more opportunities to do my own stuff, leaving them for longer periods, while I grew a new life for myself
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@FlintDibble
Agree. Shoes tell us so much, but even more than that, they are such an intimate, personal point of contact with the past. I find it very moving that you can see the shape of their feet, recreate their walk
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